61

^{I WANT COFFEE BUT DON'T WANNA BREW ANYYYYYY}

1/18/2011 7:33:05 PM

I've been here for nearly three years and I still get patronized like a fucking five year old.

1/21/2011 1:54:39 PM

Quote :

"Minkagrl01: My boss is stuck in the 80s. He uses a dictaphone which I then have to set up on my desk and work like a sewing machine with a pedal to transcribed his notes, letters, etc. I want to hook him up with dragon speech software but there's no way we could put it on his computer because that's really old too and has the max of 512 mb of RAM"

WHAT THE LIVING FUCK???

woman, this job is harming you. every day you stay there is another day your skill set atrophies and you become increasingly less viable in the job market.

get the fuck out of there.

now.

1/21/2011 1:59:38 PM

Homeboy in the next office over is playing his shitty punk music loud enough to bother me in my office. Meaning loud enough for me to hear it

1/21/2011 4:06:12 PM

Quote :

"who the fuck thinks its appropriate to clip fingernails at work? Leave personal hygiene tasks at home, and do them there."

There's a guy who brushes his teeth, gargles, then washes his face on the 2nd floor bathroom every morning...

1/21/2011 4:54:40 PM

^ at least that's in the bathroom, and not in the break room or cubicle next to you

1/21/2011 5:48:33 PM

^^ whats wrong with that? i have a toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash that i keep at the office and will brush my teeth or use some mouthwash if i have a meeting with someone. i don't see a problem unless he starts doing in in the kitchen sink or something.

1/21/2011 5:51:06 PM

women are workplace annoyances

1/21/2011 6:24:20 PM

Quote :

"There's a guy who brushes his teeth, gargles, then washes his face on the 2nd floor bathroom every morning."

its weird, but at least he's doing it in the bathroom, not in his office or in public view.

1/21/2011 6:29:31 PM

guys do that at my work all of the time..

no one really cares

but i can see how it is annoying

1/22/2011 5:50:32 PM

i find it kind of annoying.

it's like "oh, hey, sorry to bother you in your private bathroom, but do you mind if i wash my hands? andf, excuse me please, while i reach for some paper towels. okay, i'll leave you to your business now."

but on the other hand, i kind of feel like maybe i should be brushing and flossing too. so maybe theres a bit of a guilt complex

1/22/2011 6:34:32 PM

one of the older engineers just walked into my shared office and farted, wtf

1/28/2011 3:16:38 PM

I always find it weird when people drink the water in the bathroom sinks. Like they run the water, use their hands to scoop water and drink it. There's a perfectly good water fountain right outside the bathroom door.

1/28/2011 3:19:00 PM

If there is a water fountain, then yeah that's weird. I only do that at home when brushing my teeth.

1/28/2011 3:46:48 PM

I seen a guy once get ready to piss in the urinal, see a stray pube, and go over to the sink to get water to splash it off instead of using his piss stream like a normal person would do

1/28/2011 4:07:03 PM

Dear Dell Support:
It's bad enough that you robo-call to harass me about sending my warranty return part three whole days after it arrived here. We're trying to make sure that was the problem--cut me some slack. But the fact that your voice mail contains not only the message in English, but the *entire message* again in Spanish, really pisses me off. Some of us have dumb voicemail systems that do not let us delete a message without listening to the whole thing, and that's 90 seconds of my workday wasted listening to a language I do not understand.

Really, I'm not a xenophobe, I don't mind Spanish subtexts, option menus, etc. But at times it gets annoying, and this is one of those times.

1/31/2011 10:56:20 AM

Dell used to robocall my office at least monthly looking for an employee that hadn't worked there in years trying to sell an extended warranty on equipment we didn't even use anymore. The don't-call-again option under their menu system did nothing.

1/31/2011 3:00:05 PM

Quote :

"Guy who sits in the cube across from me always wants to borrow my laptop charger. BRING YOUR OWN FUCKING CHARGER YOU SHITBAG! AND STOP SLURPING YOUR SODA LIKE YOU HITTING A BONG YOU FUCKTARD!"

Proof!

2/4/2011 12:09:42 AM

^rocking the binary clock, I see. :-) verygeeky!

2/5/2011 7:16:20 AM

I'm in an office with girls outnumbering guys two to one. Normally not a problem, except that the mean age of these women is 42. We have a glass-walled copy/mailing room in the center part of my wing of the office, the door to which is across from my office window and door. They chat there all the time. The copy room is soundproof ONLY if the door is closed. I estimated a total of 17 twat-talk hours, with twat-talk peaking on Tuesday afternoon.

Please go gossip about your neighbor's slutty daughter elsewhere, or introduce her to your husband. At least then the conversation might become interesting.

2/5/2011 8:25:31 AM

dude we just hired back on a temp/part time basis to do some support engineering work is nosey as hell. we fired his ass the first time for being nosy and having a busy body wife.

i feel kind of bad for him because he's currently homeless, but then i hear him on the phone with recruiters and landlords and he's way too picky for his given situation.

2/5/2011 9:17:45 AM

Quote :

" WHAT THE LIVING FUCK??? woman, this job is harming you. every day you stay there is another day your skill set atrophies and you become increasingly less viable in the job market. get the fuck out of there. now."

Lol the dictaphone only comes out like once a week or two weeks and no matter how much that part of the job is annoying the rest of the time I'm gaining buckets of experience running and operating a nonprofit, which is why I'm there.

2/5/2011 10:19:34 AM

I have a redneck boss who refers to all members of the staff as "hound dog" and LOVES to walk into a process room and call the all male techs working there "ladies and gals". This knuckle dragger also call black people "colored folk" and routinely hits on all female workers. HR does shit about him, as he's the Fishin' Buddy of one of the directors.

2/6/2011 12:00:01 AM

AlaskanGrown, just show up to work next week with a pc laptop. lol now they can't steal your power.

2/6/2011 12:34:13 AM

People who have ANNOYING, unprofessional ringers turned up as loud as they possibly can.

From my office, I can hear:

1) THX Movie intro (about 5-6 times a day)
2)R2D2 talking (chick up the hall just got a Star Wars edition Droid...not only does R2D2 talk every time she gets a text/call, it SCREAMS every time she puts the phone down too. SCREAMS>.< ) I'd be lying if I said I heard this any less than 30 times a day.
3)LOST smoke monster sound (this one makes me chuckle a little) 4-5 times a day
4)Justin Bieber - "Baby" song - 3-4 times a day
5)Black Eyed Peas - "I got a feeling" - 3-4 times a day

The R2D2 phone is actually the most annoying. I created an internal webpage with a counter on it so that you can click every time her phone annoys you. It gets about 22 clicks a day.

FML.

[Edited on February 8, 2011 at 10:23 AM. Reason : this is all driving me bat$hit crazy.]

2/8/2011 10:21:26 AM

Quote :

"There's a guy who brushes his teeth, gargles, then washes his face on the 2nd floor bathroom every morning."

I had a coworker at my last job who kept his toothbrush, deodorant and razor with shaving cream to shave on the days he felt like it in the one bathroom. He also randomly fell asleep sitting up in his chair, but because he'd been there forever nobody would say shit to him, as they were just waiting him out to retire or die.

2/8/2011 11:25:08 AM

I hate it when people capitalize every word in sentences or phrases. This is not necessarily limited to the workplace. For example, a certain person's facebook status today was:

Quote :

"Very Glad Its Not Raining Today!!!"

ARRRGH

2/8/2011 12:07:26 PM

I hate when people can't spell at work. One of my younger coworkers is almost dyslexic at times, so he misspells some words in our work e-mails/collaborations that bugs me.

The one that bugs me the worst is the lady that prints things up and has them laminated and placed in classrooms. I can't believe nobody proofs these things before they are posted at a university! I literally have not found one that didn't have at least one word misspelled. I want to rip all of them off and have her re-type them, but I'm still the new guy.

2/9/2011 10:11:22 PM

^ covertly correct all the typos with a permanent marker.

2/10/2011 10:36:22 AM

Quote :

"one of the older engineers just walked into my shared office and farted, wtf"

yeah, that was me. sorry bout that

2/10/2011 10:44:18 AM

"Did you see that post on facebook?"

No, I didn't. Because I blocked you on my news feed. Because you post every 15 f'n minutes. A picture of your lunch. What your daughter did. The drama with your retarded husband. So, no, I'm afraid I missed your video of the dog dancing to Justin Bieber. My bad.

2/10/2011 10:52:23 AM

just discovered my coworker doesnt like to wash her hands after using the restroom... blah!

2/10/2011 11:16:52 AM

working from home today - so none!!!!

2/10/2011 11:26:18 AM

Not being able to cut out early on Fridays.

/firstworldproblems

2/11/2011 2:49:26 PM

presentation on $3million proposal deadline moved back 2 days to make room for unrelated surprise business trip

2/15/2011 10:27:17 PM

crazy higher up woman grabbing my arm while i am in a rush and demanding irrelevant information from me....fuck off biatch!!!!

2/15/2011 10:30:44 PM

fucking drama.

wtf...why do I have to sit near the one guy that has fucking drama with everyone. In the same sentence he will say "she's such a bitch I can't believe she thinks I complain all the time, she gives me so much work and it's doing nothing but causing drama. I heard she thought she was the supervisor she's just starting drama, god I hate drama"

2/15/2011 10:34:20 PM

Still waiting on final design spec with a mere 5 weeks left in the dev cycle! You're a huge company too, quit fucking with me!

2/15/2011 10:51:19 PM

Quote :

"As of 8 am today: Due to work to find the leak outside, the restrooms in the Admin. Bldg. are temporarily unavailable. I'll send a note when they're back in service."

2/16/2011 9:19:19 AM

MANAGERS THAT WANT TO WAIT DAYS AND DAYS TO GET A CHARGE CODE TO US.

WE NEED THINGS TO BILL TO SO WE CAN GET PAID AND GET WORK DONE.

THANKS.

2/16/2011 9:29:45 AM

Friday night after 95% of people had left some brilliant coworker decide to email out a 20Mbattachment to a mailing alias with about 250 people on it. Every 3 minutes. For half an hour. So Monday morning no one could use their email because some jack ass sending out 200Mb worth of crap pushed us all over the 400MB total space limit.

2/16/2011 11:50:23 AM

Scheduling a meeting early in the morning and not show up. 2 DAYS IN A ROW

2/16/2011 12:06:36 PM

go-carts zooming around the parking lot

2/16/2011 12:10:40 PM

We have free coffee but its disgusting.....

2/17/2011 10:58:23 PM

I have to pay for coffee, and water(we have tap as well for free but the pipes are old and there is a green tinge to it the water so )

2/17/2011 11:36:10 PM

When people from separate departments are yelling at each other through me (since my position puts me as the center of communication between departments)

DON'T SHOOT THE GOD DAMNED MESSENGER

2/17/2011 11:46:20 PM

The little sticker thing on the bottom of my mouse came off and even though I stuck it back on where it was, it's icky and dragging along my mouse pad now.

2/18/2011 10:26:59 AM

coworker's loud obnoxious conversations on his work phone about sports

2/18/2011 10:38:27 AM

Guy sends out emails to everyone any time he finds even the slightest discount. Thanks Rick, but I'm not going to fill out that survey to win a 5 dollar Applebee's gift card.

2/21/2011 4:39:58 PM

35 degrees outside and my officemate has the window open and his music blasting with no headphones...

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?!?!?!?!?!?!?

2/25/2011 2:56:24 PM