Quote :

"Withers' father, Alan Withers, 64, has even weighed in, lambasting Bourne's "lack of grace." He told the Sun newspaper, "I think she has her head stuck so far up her own a** she doesn't know whether to speak or fart. Heidi was very upset and the two of them obviously don't see eye to eye." "

LOL what a good father

Quote :

""I met Carolyn and her husband Edward for dinner at a pub in London last year," he told the Sun. "Edward [her husband] was a jovial chap but Carolyn was quite snotty. She had a look about her which made us think she thought she was better than us. ... Ever since that meeting we call her 'Miss Fancy Pants.'" "

LOL Miss Fancy Pants.

And the evil stepmother send the email twice. Once to her personal email and once to her work email.

[Edited on July 1, 2011 at 12:42 PM. Reason : f]

7/1/2011 12:40:57 PM

Yeah, I can understand SOME of the etiquette things.. but if homegirl is diabetic, then yeah she's going to be picky about the food.

[Edited on July 1, 2011 at 12:41 PM. Reason : ^ hahahahahaha]

7/1/2011 12:41:11 PM

since no one reads the last post


i'm very curious as to how the future bride acted.
how do we know the future bride wasn't plain rude?
i mean there are some very are very rude people whom everyone is nice to, and could use a little verbal slap in the face.
the email itself is pretty out of line however i just know a few who it freaking describes them to a T.

however, in the end, this does NOT justify and email like that, especially they way a few of the things are said (eg "unfortunately", really? ....)


i find it a little ironic though because i actually went to finishing school (yeah yeah laugh it up-cody does) and the email is far from lady like.




i could be very very wrong ....the bride could be a sweet sweet girl.... i'm very skeptical
chances are i am wrong

Quote :

"Whether or not you agree with her points in the email, she was way harsher than need be (plus just plain rude)"

this is a pretty good point though. you win


^you too make a very good point.

[Edited on July 1, 2011 at 12:49 PM. Reason : i'm all over the place this morning]

7/1/2011 12:44:41 PM

^ that's kind off my thinking. This email certainly breaches etiquette but for all we know the bride is an insufferable bitch and this woman had reached the point of exasperation. And upper class English take social etiquette much more seriously than us Americans do. It would be interesting to get both sides of the tale.

7/1/2011 12:50:40 PM

i'm kinda curious how the email got out

[Edited on July 1, 2011 at 12:51 PM. Reason : like if the girl sent it out to some blogger or something]

7/1/2011 12:51:27 PM

Article says she forwarded it to friends and it snowballed from there.

7/1/2011 12:53:07 PM

i'm glad you agree with me wolfpackgrrr


i didn't want ya'll thinking i was a bitch

[Edited on July 1, 2011 at 12:54 PM. Reason : jhg]

7/1/2011 12:54:12 PM

Yeah I just feel like for the average person it takes a lot to reach the point of writing a letter like that. I could be entirely wrong but something tells me there's more to this story.

7/1/2011 1:15:17 PM

I wonder if there'll be a follow-up email from the stepmom.

Like how its so uncouth and unladylike to forward a private email.

7/1/2011 1:22:36 PM

I'm sorry... no matter how snotty or rude the future daughter-in-law might be (which is pure speculation, btw), the ONLY thing we can tell from this email is that the future mother-in-law is an insufferable stuck-up bitch, and barely deserving of any form of human compassion whatsoever.

I feel sorry for the future grandkids. If I was the daughter-in-law, they wouldn't be meeting their daddy's mother. And she wouldn't be welcome at the wedding either. The only way to deal with people like this (aristocratic shits) is to completely isolate them and leave them to their own miserable selves.

I'd tell the "wider Bourne family" to go fuck itself. People like this piss me off something fierce.

7/1/2011 2:06:55 PM

^no need to apologize


thats pretty much the mutual feeling here

7/1/2011 2:24:01 PM

Yeah this lady is definitely not from the south what-so-ever. In the south here, its almost not polite to ask for more servings. And when I don't have to work, I'll sleep in as late as I feel like (which usualy isn't late at all )

I work with diabetics everyday, and its a pain in the ass for me; I can't imagine how big of a pain in the ass it is for the actual person. There's more to it besides "being diabetic."

I don't know; I wasn't there, but I am a person that tends to give the benefit of the doubt, and I feel that her email was out of line. If my future mother-in-law (and she would never be this way) ever said any of those things to me in that condescending manner, I would tell her to go to hell.

She just sounds too pompous and proper for me. I'd rather chill with my future mother in law and drink beer, which I do he he

I highly doubt this girl went out of her way to be rude to his family.








[Edited on July 1, 2011 at 3:55 PM. Reason : whoa]

7/1/2011 3:55:20 PM

on a happier note i finally decided to edit one of the pics of the ceremony site

(im not so happy about the edit itself, but ill figure it out later.....i did it in like 5 minutes )




this was taken in the early afternoon so its hard to see but there are 4 lit chandeliers in the back, it was perfect lighting for the 8 o clock ceremony (and with a dark storm in the background {during the ceremony that is}-pretty cool too )

this was a total surprise to us and they did PERFECT

i told them the theme was "chaotic but with a purpose"
much like my life



[Edited on July 1, 2011 at 8:01 PM. Reason : cfgfhfgh]

7/1/2011 7:47:37 PM

The fiance and I just finished up learning a dance for our first dance, gonna be pretty fun. We decided we needed to make sure the wedding was video taped - anyone know of someone cheap who can video tape it? We dont need anything fancy like any post wedding editing, just someone who has their own equipment and can film it.

7/1/2011 8:59:57 PM

Not sure if it will suffice, but its a pretty cheap and potentially fun alternative.

They send you flip cams, you send them back when you're done and they'll edit it up for you. Cheapest package is $100 bucks.

http://weddings.storymixmedia.com/index.html

7/1/2011 9:38:40 PM

^thats pretty cool



thats really cool actually

7/2/2011 2:57:40 AM

That is a really cool idea but not really what we are looking for. I dont want anyone at the wedding to have to worry about filming and a good portion of the price with that goes into the editing which I can do myself. Just looking for someone with a good camera to come film

7/2/2011 8:28:52 AM

Would it be extremely tacky to invite about 7-8 more people, but not include their significant others? I know it's traditional wedding etiquette to invite SOs especially if engaged/married/living together, etc. but we made the guest list about a year and a half ago and I had just met these people so they weren't on the list, but I would really like them to come. They all know each other so it's not like they would be "alone" at the wedding.

My grad school friend did that for her wedding since she didn't know us when she first got engaged. I have come to definitely understand the costs involved after planning mine, but I'm not sure how others would feel. If it's ridiculously bad taste, I'll just leave them off the list.

7/6/2011 2:37:31 PM

My vote--bad taste to not invite serious SOs, particularly if married/living together/engaged. I even think a lot of people would find it rude not to just have a blanket +1 deal, but I can see that if you do allow for SOs you know are serious, etc.

Are you sure you won't have an additional 7 people RSVP no, so that you can fit the spouses? I honestly think it would be rude to invite someone to a wedding, and their husband can't come.

Obviously, just my two cents Ultimately, it's you're wedding, you're the bride, and you do what you want!

7/6/2011 2:49:38 PM

^i agree with everything you just said

7/6/2011 2:51:17 PM

It would upset me if someone didn't invite Eric... if the couple is serious, I think they deserve a +1

But, at the same time, I understand weddings are expensive and it's ultimately your choice! Could you cut corners somewhere else? One thing that's important to us is to let everyone have a +1 so we're (aka me) doing the flowers ourselves and only going to a florist for certain things, having comfort food instead of fancy food, etc

7/6/2011 4:12:32 PM

Quote :

"My vote--bad taste to not invite serious SOs, particularly if married/living together/engaged. I even think a lot of people would find it rude not to just have a blanket +1 deal"

This happened last weekend at a reception my husband was catering. I was running bar supplies out to the bar and I heard this heated exchange between the mother of the bride and some guest's girlfriend. It was a plated dinner w/ assigned seating.

Guest's girlfriend: I don't see my name next to my boyfriend's name.
MOB: Did you RSVP?
Guest GF: No. I thought my bf would have just added me as a +1.
MOB: Well he didn't. And this is a plated dinner. We only have enough food for the number of people who RSVP'd.

I was so shocked at this point, I almost dropped a bottle of wine on the ground. I didn't stick around to hear the rest of the conversation. I thought that fists were going to start flying so I ducked out of there. I found out later that they were able to fit another chair to her bf's table so that she could stay.


And 30 guests did not show up for the reception. Yes, 30 guests. So there was absolutely no way we were going to run out of food.

The bride and groom are both 19 and apparently have been planning this wedding for a year and a half

[Edited on July 6, 2011 at 4:27 PM. Reason : g]

7/6/2011 4:25:04 PM

^ aha that sounds like a marriage made in heaven

Quote :

"My vote--bad taste to not invite serious SOs, particularly if married/living together/engaged."

This. It's one thing if your friend Jorge has been dating a chick for two weeks before the wedding. It's another if Jorge is married to the chick. I did not allow for random +1s at my wedding but anyone who I knew had been dating their SO for awhile I just automatically included them in the invite. For the few people that I invited that are truly single, I talked to them personally about, "Yo, don't bring your dickhead friend that you like to bring to everything because that guy is a complete buzzkill," lol.

7/6/2011 5:19:20 PM

how do you guys feel about girls (bc its almost always girls who do it) who bring another girlfriend as their +1?

someone i know did this recently, to a girl she had just become friends with. she got invited to the wedding and was friend + guest so she brought her bff. not sure if she cleared it with the bride first (which of course, if she did, who cares as long as the bride said it was ok)

but what if they didn't clear it?

7/6/2011 6:56:23 PM

if they didn't clear it - i feel like it could be super awkward.

oh and while some might find not doing a blanket +1 to a wedding is rude - they're not paying for the wedding. if i ever get married - my immediate family alone will surpass 75 people...

just saying

7/6/2011 6:59:32 PM

I would be a little "say what" at the +1 girlfriend thing. And you mean a girl that is a friend, right? Now, if it was their actual girlfriend (scissors) then I wouldn't care.

7/6/2011 7:17:14 PM

Well, I mean, if you're just throwing a blanket +1 on your invites, it seems strange to me to say the +1 has to be an SO and not a friend, or sister, or dude they picked up off the street. If you actually cared who the +1 was, wouldn't you put the person's name on the invite?

7/6/2011 7:19:58 PM

Oh, I plan on putting the person's name unless I just don't know who it is - in which case, I would just like a heads up, ya know? I think I would mainlyyy be weirded out over a girl bringing a friend without telling me for the reasons above (is she just a friend or is it.. ya know.. more than that?)


All I really care about is people having a good time and having fun.

7/6/2011 7:23:01 PM

for clarification, yes a friend not a scissor situation lol

7/6/2011 8:28:43 PM

Quote :

"oh and while some might find not doing a blanket +1 to a wedding is rude - they're not paying for the wedding. if i ever get married - my immediate family alone will surpass 75 people... "

agreed. we had less than 50 people at our wedding- all immediate family and our close friends, no plus ones. For the most part, there would have been no need. For all but two or three guests, the SO is also close friend whom we explicitly invited.

Though one of B's friends from home added a "+1" to there rsvp card. When B asked him about it, he said the plus one was a random date we never met. Not a girlfriend, just a date. It was awkward for us to clarify the situation for him, but I think it would have been more awkward for whomever he was trying to bring along. Had he been in a relationship, sure we would have invited her. By naming her on the invitation.



[Edited on July 7, 2011 at 7:38 AM. Reason : .]

7/7/2011 7:36:32 AM

I had a similar situation. I invited a friend and her boyfriend who I was also kind of friends with and they had been dating for 4 years. Well, about a month before the wedding they broke up and she ended up bringing her new beau to the wedding. It was kind of weird but it's not like I could kick the dude out when she showed up with him

7/7/2011 9:48:33 AM

Quote :

"my immediate family alone will surpass 75 people..."

mine surpassed 150 >.<

[Edited on July 7, 2011 at 12:52 PM. Reason : luckily cod's family was 15-20 ]

7/7/2011 12:51:16 PM

yea it's crazy how big families can get

7/7/2011 1:08:55 PM

A niece of mine was living with her boyfriend and so when we sent the invitations, we gave her 2 seats. They broke up not long after and she RSVP'd for just herself....Then she started dating flavor of the week guys...The first one - engaged and cheating...the next week it was arm tattoos and straight bill hat guy who's "complicated" and then she got pissy when she said "Me and ____ are coming to the wedding now...." and I told her I'd already given away her extra seat...and now she's not coming at all. Makes me sad but she and arm tattoo boy broke up last week so I'm like, toldcha so.

7/9/2011 7:28:54 PM

Thanks for the feedback. I think I'll just leave them off the list. Our guest list is around 190 at the moment and a lot of it is family. I think our rehearsal dinner is looking to be around 45 people, which I feel like is a lot...so...another question:

Should step-grandparents be invited to the rehearsal dinner? It would add three more people to the list.

7/10/2011 2:25:37 PM

^Are they married to your grandparents who are coming? If so, absolutely yes.

Or are they the parents of a step parent you have? That makes a difference. If it's this case, then I really don't have firm suggestions. My gut feeling would be "yes" but 51 people is a lot for a rehearsal dinner. Also, are they local or out of town? If out of town, are they coming early anyways? Or are they close enough to just travel in the day of. I know that's a lot to think through, but those are all things to consider. For instance: wedding in Raleigh, step grandparents in Greenville, I'd say don't invite to the rehearsal dinner, because it would obligate them to come an extra night. If they are local, or extremely out of town and coming early, my feeling is to invite them. But, this is just my opinion, and it was a difficult conundrum to work through! How close are you with them?

7/10/2011 2:37:08 PM

Yeah I can't imagine the drama that would have erupted if I had not invited my grandmother's current husband

7/10/2011 6:20:49 PM

^^
Haha...I would definitely invite my grandparent's significant others! I'm talking about my stepmom's parents. They are divorced and her dad is remarried so it would be her dad, his wife and my stepmom's mom. They live in Kansas, but I see them quite a bit...maybe once or twice a year when they come down for holidays. I'm leaning towards inviting them just because it may be a little awkward to leave them in the hotel while everyone else goes to the rehearsal dinner. They also send me bday and xmas cards, which is a little different from my stepdad's parents who I barely know.

Here's another question....do you invite "guest book" people? I'm having two of my cousins help out with the guest book, but it's not like they really have to rehearse that so technically they wouldn't be at the rehearsal but they are part of the wedding and listed in the wedding program. If so, then there's three more people (cousin's fiance included). So then...my whole family is pretty much included at the rehearsal dinner with the exception of one aunt and one uncle which is a little awkward since they're my cousin's (guest book girl) parents.

7/11/2011 9:43:47 AM

Quote :

"I'm leaning towards inviting them just because it may be a little awkward to leave them in the hotel while everyone else goes to the rehearsal dinner. They also send me bday and xmas cards, which is a little different from my stepdad's parents who I barely know."

I would say invite them then.

And no, you don't have to invite things like ushers and guestbook attendants to the rehearsal dinner.

We basically invited parents, siblings, step-parents, grandparents, step-grandparents, the wedding party, and the officiant to our rehearsal dinner.

7/11/2011 9:58:35 AM

For those of you having destination weddings, do you expect a large percentage of invitees to make it to the wedding? One of my friends (not a close friend) invited me and my bf to her wedding in Lake Placid. I'd love to go, but have a hard time justifying the expense. The math breaks down to:

Airfare: $600 (round-trip airfare for two)
Hotel: $400 (3 nights in the recommended hotel)
Rental Car: $100 (3-4 days)
Airport Parking: $50 (4 days)
Wedding Gift: $200

$1350 seems a bit much for a wedding for someone who isn't the closest of friends.

Is it tacky to decline, noting the expense of travel? Should I even give a reason as to why we can't attend?

[Edited on July 11, 2011 at 10:50 AM. Reason : d]

7/11/2011 10:49:56 AM

Quote :

"Is it tacky to decline, noting the expense of travel? Should I even give a reason as to why we can't attend?"

It is tacky to say you can't attend because of expenses if it's not a close friend. And you don't need to give a reason you can't attend. Just send them a card expressing your regret you are unable to attend, wish them the best, and throw in a gift card for Target or something. You should not feel guilty about being unable to attend.

Our wedding was essentially a destination wedding for 95% of our guests. We had a little over 65% of people make it out to the wedding. That was about what I expected since I knew many people wouldn't be able to travel out for one reason or another.

[Edited on July 11, 2011 at 11:02 AM. Reason : a]

7/11/2011 11:01:41 AM

Quote :

"Just send them a card expressing your regret you are unable to attend, wish them the best, and throw in a gift card for Target or something. You should not feel guilty about being unable to attend"

she said it



and i'll be damned. it is tacky to say youre not be able to attend b/c of expenses if it's NOT a close friend????




[Edited on July 11, 2011 at 11:04 AM. Reason : heh]

7/11/2011 11:02:11 AM

I don't the reason is tacky but you don't need to give a reason either. Just say something like, "Thank you so much for the invitation. Unfortunately we will be unable to attend. I'm so sorry! I wish you both the very best as you embark on this life adventure together and look forward to when we can see you both hopefully sometime soon!" blah blah blah.

^ Well, I mean, if it were a really close friend, I would expect them to fully understand and not get all drama queeny and pissy if I were completely honest with them about my reasons for not going. For someone that isn't really a close friend or a distant relative or whatever, it's just best to be vague and not open up the door for some sort of stupid drama llama bullshit.

[Edited on July 11, 2011 at 11:07 AM. Reason : a]

7/11/2011 11:05:49 AM

Yeah I would invite the step grandparents... And don't feel bad about not being able to attend, Lucy!!

Ps, wolfpack... Your offbeat bride entry was awesome!!


Ok, so. Dress shopping. How far in advance do I need to make an appointment?

7/11/2011 11:07:24 AM

yeah yeah yeah

i wouldn't give a reason in the first place! but if the couple asked it's tacky to say you can't afford it?? (i honestly would make up a reason cause that's an awkward convo hahaha)

[Edited on July 11, 2011 at 11:07 AM. Reason : dfcghfdgh]

7/11/2011 11:07:32 AM

^ Well if the couple explicitly asks, then they've already started down the Tacky Express lol. Then it's no holds barred imo. If I were put into that sticky situation I would just say I have previous commitments I can't break (my budget hahaha).

^^ Thanks

7/11/2011 11:24:35 AM

I'm officially frustrated.

I just called about 5 bridal salons and no one has tea length dresses (only two places had like one short dress, but it's a sheath style)

7/11/2011 11:27:38 AM

I'm getting married in one week and five days.

I'm pretty thrilled about this whole development.

7/11/2011 11:28:01 AM

David's Bridal had several tea length dresses when I went shopping there. If you do decide to go to David's Bridal, go to the one at Southpoint and ask for Jee (pronounced like the letter G). She was absolutely amazing even though I didn't even end up getting my dress there.

I thought Maggie Sottero also had tea length dresses in their Destinations line.

7/11/2011 11:29:47 AM

Was def planning to politely decline and send a gift. Unfortunately, I know I will have to give a response of sorts.

We don't have a scheduling conflict and I hate to lie. I could say that "We're on a tight budget" ... but that's a lie.

Another friend (another wedding guest travelling from FLA) already wants to know why I can't go. It's not her business. But unfortunately, it's typically in poor taste to tell your friend "noneyobusiness." But she thinks that it's such a huge honor that we were invited that it's tacky for us to decline in the first place.

Ugh. So silly. But if I can get away with not giving an excuse, then I'll try my darndest!

Quote :

"Well if the couple explicitly asks, then they've already started down the Tacky Express lol. Then it's no holds barred imo. If I were put into that sticky situation I would just say I have previous commitments I can't break (my budget hahaha). "

LOL! YES! I feel it's tacky to get the guilt trip in the first place! Seems a bit odd. I understand that it's an honor to get invited, but even so, I'd only want to attend a destination wedding for my closest friends and family members.

[Edited on July 11, 2011 at 11:35 AM. Reason : n]

7/11/2011 11:32:55 AM