Dear chinchilla litter box,

Thank you for your existance, you make my life so much easier.

2/15/2005 1:17:21 PM

Dear calculus homework

complete yourself, or i will make you suck my cock

luv
Daniel

2/15/2005 1:18:51 PM

^
Dear Calculus,

Spontaneous combustion is all the rage. I suggest you hop on the bandwagon.

~ Canis Lupis

2/15/2005 1:20:56 PM

"Dear Penis,
I don't think I like you anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all u do is stare at the floor.
Oh dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.
It used to be you and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by.
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that your the one to blame.
Dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore."

Penis's response:

"Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like you anymore,
'Cause when u get to drinkin'
You put me places I've never been before.
Dear Rodney,
I dont like you anymore.
Why can't we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship.
Come to terms with truly how we feel.
If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever.
Dear Penis,
I think I like you after all.
Oh and Rodney,
While yer shavin',
Shave my balls."

2/15/2005 1:21:35 PM

Dear Physics 208

I think I'll take a nap at 2:35, so I won't be attending you today. Maybe I'll see you this Thursday, but I doubt it because you betrayed me on your test last week. Peace out.

~SIG

2/15/2005 1:25:43 PM

Dear dog shit on my roomate's dog's head

I thank you very much for showing me how literal i can be when i call my roomate's dog a shit head
I'm not sure how you got there but i think it must be cause he still shits in his cage and probably rolled in it. I'm going to leave you there because you look comfortable and i really don't want to pick upt shit right now i hope you can hold on till my roomate gets home so he can see just how retarded his dog actually is.

thanks
~Bill

2/15/2005 2:56:01 PM

dear chem 201 exam 1,

i don't appreciate your trickery and deceit.

~Brit

2/15/2005 2:58:30 PM

Dear Osage-Orange,

Please be a little bit easier to find around raleigh, maybe you could grow more or something?

-Chris

2/15/2005 2:59:39 PM

Dear Steamed Milk,

Add that honey and dont forget the Vanilla
You taste so yummy and sweet
MMM and no caffeine

I love You steamed milk

2/15/2005 3:09:13 PM

dear keyboard,

you are missing letters and you barely register some key strokes
you suck

<3
Yan

2/15/2005 9:22:27 PM

Dear Laundry,
I hate you.
<3 Ems

2/15/2005 9:38:19 PM

dear computer,
stop fucking distracting me
i neeed to fucking study
<3
Yan

2/15/2005 9:45:55 PM

Dear high school drama,
hey, it's me again, i just don't understand why you didn't leave my friends when they left you. It seems you just enjoy hanging out with the group and ruining our lives. Well, I just wonder how you can sleep at night knowing people hate you. Ta for now

bob

2/15/2005 11:31:00 PM

dear new awesome logitech keyboard,

you fucking rock and i love you
you better not ever break
<3
Yan

2/16/2005 9:56:53 PM

dear sinus infection

You are a stupid bastard who ruined my birthday weekend i'm glad this z-pack is beating you like a redheaded stepchild. fuck you go away and never come back.

~bill

2/20/2005 4:17:59 PM

Dear crib on Corncrib.
Goodbye in a month. You make funny noises and look like a dozen other houses in this neighborhood, but you've been a great place to live for the last 22 months. I hope the dryer doesn't cause you to catch fire.

2/20/2005 4:20:40 PM

dear mello yello,
you are the bombdigity for a coke product, but i'm sorry, pesi is superiour.
go cry to your momma fanta wanabe.
but stay mello, cuz your the bombdigity.
and one day you will raise up and be the coke flagship.
raise up mello, raise up.
and one day if you can do it, you can do it all night long long.
so stay mello, mr/mrs(?, you all look the same to me) mello yello.
so stand strong and mello.


oh shit, i just finished my mello yellow....

2/20/2005 4:27:11 PM

dear physics exam,

please don't ass-rape me on tuesday.

thanks.

-lauren

2/20/2005 4:29:52 PM

Dear Us weekly,
What was Britney thinking?
Love,
Jennifer

2/20/2005 4:46:10 PM

dear soup,

i want to marry you and have your babies.

your eater,
elizabeth

2/20/2005 5:00:58 PM

attn sewing machine: YOU SUCK

2/20/2005 5:16:42 PM

Dear Dignity,

Where the fuck are you? You totally left me hangin today. Thanks for nothing.

~Bassman

2/20/2005 5:19:33 PM

Dear fluid dynamics
DO YOURSELF MOTHER FUCKER
i got better things to do
~bill

2/21/2005 1:12:34 AM

Quote :

"Dear Osage-Orange, Please be a little bit easier to find around raleigh, maybe you could grow more or something? -Chris "

Well, I thought I found you, but I was wrong. I know there is one of you on campus somewhere but I cannot remember where the FUCK you are. I thought you were near kamphoefner, but you arent. Help a brotha out!

-Chris

2/21/2005 1:14:39 AM

Dear Inbox,

turn green


- Rooney

2/21/2005 1:15:23 AM

dear cock

you still havent grown any....why not?

jason

2/21/2005 1:15:34 AM

dear contacts,

prepared to be removed.

Antonio

2/21/2005 1:16:17 AM

Dear thread,

I love you,
There is something about talking to stuff that can't possibly listen that is amusing
~bill

2/21/2005 1:18:41 AM

Dear Page 2,
I have not read you, nor have I read page 1 (other than a few posts), but I thought that it would be a nicebreak from writing my paper to write to you. It's too bad that Apocalypse is not an inanimate object b/c I would write to him to thank him for this thread that gave me break for the stupid paper I am writing. Anyway, I think I should try to get back to it for now. Thanks again!
Love,
NCSUGirl83

2/21/2005 1:19:07 AM

Dear cigarettes,
I've been sucking on your butt way too much.
I may have to go straight - edge.
You make me cough up pieces of my lung, but that's ok because I have two of them.
See you soon.

2/21/2005 1:43:26 AM

^winner

2/21/2005 1:44:59 AM

Dear Mitch Hedberg CD,

you fill my ears with pointless, yet extremely witty humor for minutes on end
i am now dumber for listening to you
but i will replay you tomorrow all the same


til we meet again

-- Rooney

2/21/2005 1:47:48 AM

Dear Exam,
Why did I not give you the love you deserve
and start studying for you this afternoon?
Can you ever forgive me?
<3,
Jonathan

2/21/2005 1:47:55 AM

Dear room,

Why are you always so cold? Please warm up so I can sleep in my normal pjs instead of 2 layers of clothing and 3 blankets. Thanks in advance.

Sincerely,
Linda

2/21/2005 1:49:20 AM

Dear road rash...
you still hurt...I was kidding about being invincible on my bike. I now know that asphalt > skin.
I promise not to drive like that anymore.

2/21/2005 1:56:09 AM

Dear EA,
Road Rash rules!

2/21/2005 2:00:37 AM

Dear Self
I realize that you are notinanimate. I would just like to tell you that right now you are really bothering me b/c you are sitting on my leg and making my knee hurt and my foot fall asleep. I would also like to ask you why you called page 7 page 2. Are you stupid? I'm really starting to think you might be.
~Heather

2/21/2005 2:12:01 AM

dear god

stop being a pussy and show yourself

2/21/2005 2:13:00 AM

.
<---- see below
Dear heather
you seem inanimate by the inability to move yourself off your leg... you ok?
~bill

Dear Ability to spell
Get better these assholes try to make you think they're better than you cause you don't care to take time to show up when i post although i never have problems in the real world. i guess that is because i use this place for a break from using my brain so i guess without that i will always appear stupid... ohh well i'd rather look dumb than think during idle time..

~bill

2/21/2005 2:20:28 AM

i moved...but then moved back b/c my foot was cold. did i spell something wrong or was that directed elsewhere? i mean other than ramming those words together...

2/21/2005 2:25:50 AM

no no no thats for me

read my status

i can't spell for shit

2/21/2005 2:27:07 AM

dear beer

i love the way you make me feel.

xoxo
Candace

2/21/2005 2:29:40 AM

dear beer
Ditto, but i wish i could consume you on this, my birthday weekend. but, my sinus infection med say otherwise..
~bill

2/21/2005 2:34:08 AM

Dear TWW,
Why is it that I always get good ideas for threads right after I just made a new one (which half the time is eleventy billion times lamer than the one I just thought of) and then by the time I can make another one, I forget my ideas? It's just not fair.
Love,
Heather

2/21/2005 5:55:02 AM

i seriously thought about that like 2 days ago

2/21/2005 6:20:31 AM

Dear Geico Commercials
Sometimes you can be pretty funny. The first time I heard the rap song radio commercial, I laughed (not anymore though). I also though the couch store radio commercial was pretty funny...I actually thought it was some crazy couch company with a really awesome (but not beneficial to them at all) sale going on. Those commercials just annoy me now though. I really hate commercials. I just saw the "tiny house" reality show Geico commercial and I didn't laugh at all. It kind of pissed me off because it was so tupid. Then it made me think of the Method house and that made me not angry (but I'm still annoyed with your commercial). The robot lizard one was kind of funny too...but not the other lizard ones. I have no clue why I'm still typing, Geico commericals, so I think I'll stop. Stupid little pill making me get so caught up in everything I start to do *sigh*. ANyway, that's all. Thanks!
Heather

2/21/2005 6:28:16 AM

dear snickers,

your rap commercial was better than geico's

best regards,

josh

2/21/2005 6:34:16 AM

dear work,

i wish i didn't have to go to you today.

see you in 20 minutes,
elizabeth

2/21/2005 6:39:40 AM

Dear Monday

Kill yourself.

Much Love,
Daniel

2/21/2005 8:24:03 AM

Dear smoothie,
Why is there never enough of you? Plz2respondkthx.

Ronny.

2/21/2005 8:25:15 AM