7

hahaha god i hope not.


not that there's anything wrong with that

1/18/2011 12:01:27 PM

I overlook promiscuity in women I date...because of the whole glass houses thing. But taking two dicks at the same time is a little much. It can might be overlooked if it was a black-out drunk-one time thing...but it would be a stretch.

1/18/2011 12:06:40 PM

Two dicks make a girl a pariah

Two cunts make a guy a legend

God, I love double standards

1/18/2011 12:08:08 PM

Quote :

"I overlook promiscuity in women I date...because of the whole glass houses thing. But taking two dicks at the same time is a little much. It can might be overlooked if it was a black-out drunk-one time thing...but it would be a stretch."

Just like her ass and pussy.

HEYOOOO

1/18/2011 12:09:16 PM

1/18/2011 12:12:03 PM

1/18/2011 12:12:34 PM

Quote :

"Two dicks make a girl a pariah Two cunts make a guy a legend God, I love double standards"

It's called a double standard because it's twice as true AMIRITE

1/18/2011 12:25:19 PM

Quote :

"cheating is fucked up and should in no way be the social norm. if it's becoming that way then God help us all. my wife and i have this agreement where if at any point in our relationship we feel the need to fuck some one else then we just need to be open and honest about it. maybe we can work something out, like a trade or what ever"

I didn't get to finish what i wanted to say because I had to pack up but anyway, what I was going to end with is that the main thing here is to maintain trust. fucking someone else besides your SO in secret is a violation of trust. being open about it maintains that trust. it may hurt like hell, it may not but at least you know your SO is trustworthy. being in a relatively new marriage, just over two years, the magic between the sheets is still strong but I can't say it will always be that way. some couples choose to spice things up a bit by bringing others into the bedroom. this may or may not happen, but then again trust is not broken and that is what is important.

1/18/2011 12:40:36 PM

You may have trust and honesty in your relationship that way, but do you really want to be with someone that is not fully committed to being with you?

1/18/2011 12:46:47 PM

Sounds like they're fully committed to staying with their partner...but then again its always different strokes for different folks.

Everyone is wired diffrently. The key, I guess, is to find someone wired similarly

1/18/2011 12:56:25 PM

Quote :

"Everyone is wired diffrently. The key, I guess, is to find someone wired similarly"

THIS. Is all that needs to be said. If you don't share most of the same values, you're doomed from the start.

1/18/2011 1:00:14 PM

^^^ i don't believe you need to maintain monogamy to maintain commitment. but to each his own.

1/18/2011 1:02:36 PM

Quote :

"I can't speak from the woman's point of view, but from a man, I would like to sleep with pretty much every woman that I find attractive. If I could do that without letting emotions get involved, without my SO finding out, without anybody else finding out (thus altering their perception of me), or without feeling guilty myself....then I would probably do it. But I would definitely feel guilty and its pretty difficult to consistently cheat without someone finding out. So that will never happen."

Give me any odds of what you think finding a female attractive is.

Let's do something large.

Let's do something like....

"There's a 1 out of 1x10^2 chance."

That means there's a one in one hundred chance of finding a female attractive.

Is that not rare enough for you? Okay. Let's do 1 out of 1x10^3. That's a one in one thousand chance.

Based on observations from the Bureau of the Census, there are at least 308 million people in the US.

It is estimated that at least fifty percent of all people are female, there are 1.54×10^8 females in the US.

If even a thousandth of these females are attractive, there are some 1.54×10^5 attractive females in the US.

154,000.

Now, what are the odds that NONE of these would be worth it for you to cheat on your girlfriend?

1/18/2011 1:12:29 PM

Quote :

"You may have trust and honesty in your relationship that way, but do you really want to be with someone that is not fully committed to being with you?"

lol pikey literally cannot imagine a world in which he doesn't own his SO's sexuality

1/18/2011 1:21:36 PM

Quit trolling. You are missing my point.

1/18/2011 1:32:13 PM

Quote :

"i don't believe you need to maintain monogamy to maintain commitment. but to each his own."

I feel you...however...take a moment, clear your mind, and then think about some dude at a bar taking your wife home and just straight nailing the fuck out of her while she has multiple orgasms...then he finishes in her mouth.

You think you would then be able to stick your dick in something else and forgot about your wife getting nailed? And that your marriage would still be okay?

Even when you're honest and agreeable with the whole thing taking place...once it happens, you can never go back...and I think it takes EXTREMELY special people to be able to have other partners and have it not completely ruin their marriage/relationship.

1/18/2011 1:35:26 PM

agreed. i could never be comfortable with that.

1/18/2011 1:37:19 PM

^^ Exactly.

1/18/2011 1:37:46 PM

If my wife took another man's load on her face and then told me about it afterwards, it's better than her not telling me and then me finding out about it on my own.

Both are still pretty fucking bad though.

I mean, sure, if we had an open relationship where we had that understanding beforehand, then OK, but that kind of marriage is so far out of the mainstream and it's not something many could handle (especially me).

1/18/2011 1:38:21 PM

^^

^^^

^^^^

Just 'cause you aren't doesn't mean other people can't be.

Its not my thing, but I can see with open honesty and regular testing why that couldn't be a viable arrangement. Sometimes sex can just be sex.

[Edited on January 18, 2011 at 1:40 PM. Reason : arrows]

1/18/2011 1:39:50 PM

Quote :

"Just 'cause you aren't doesn't mean other people can't be. "

I didn't say other people couldn't be. I just said that those people are few and far between. And I think there are some people that say they can be...then when the shit actually goes down, they aren't okay with it.

Quote :

"Sometimes sex can just be sex."

Definitely. The wife my be "just having sex" with another dude with no emotional attachments...but that doesn't stop the husband from not thinking about it and having it eat away his soul.

[Edited on January 18, 2011 at 1:44 PM. Reason : .]

1/18/2011 1:43:08 PM

I agree with you completely. At least as far as I'm concerned if I'm in a relationship wtih someone then its them and only them in my life in that capacity.

However, I also know people that can function perfectly well in an "open" relationship (I hate that phrase). Like I said before...the trick is making sure you find someone wired like yourself. Unfortunately that seems to take a lot of trial and error.

1/18/2011 2:17:15 PM

Why is it called "cheating" anyways?

It implies that we know the answer to the test already

1/18/2011 2:22:51 PM

Check out the thread "An Indecent Proposal" on here for a similar question. jbrick, among others, waxed poetic.

1/18/2011 2:23:18 PM

So basically this thread says what we already know; cheating is okay as long as everyone knows about it and is cool with it, except then that wouldn't be cheating, so really cheating or sneaking behind one's back is not ok.

Cheating = Bad

1/18/2011 2:29:23 PM

Quote :

"Check out the thread "An Indecent Proposal" on here for a similar question. jbrick, among others, waxed poetic."

Just re-read that thread...and I was definitely knocking that shit out of the park. When it comes to relationship-moral-sexual questions, I'm pretty much 100% correct.

1/18/2011 2:34:47 PM

^^What you said. Cheating is bad...open relationships are fine as long as its consentual with both parties...otherwise its cheating....see statements on cheating.

1/18/2011 2:37:53 PM

Mayhap we refer to cheating in open relationships as swinging?

1/18/2011 2:44:36 PM

Swinging is what our parents did

Our generation sport fucks

1/18/2011 2:45:29 PM

Okay, another scenario...

Your SO approaches you honestly and truthfully and says, "I have been wanting to sleep with <another person's name>. Would it be okay with you if I did that??

What would that do to your psyche?

1/18/2011 2:48:23 PM

Well if you're not okay with it then thank her for the honesty and RESPECT to actually tell you and work through it, dont let it be a hang up, if she trusts you enough to tell you she will respect your wishes

1/18/2011 2:49:23 PM

Quote :

"Your SO approaches you honestly and truthfully and says, "I have been wanting to sleep with <another person's name>. Would it be okay with you if I did that??"

Tell her it's okay if it cancels out you fucking her sister last year. But if she has to fuck 10 dudes to make her feel better about that, then you should just go ahead and break up.

1/18/2011 2:50:52 PM

^^^That's pretty much the same senario that we've been talking about. The answer could vary from person to person.

[Edited on January 18, 2011 at 2:51 PM. Reason : too slow]

1/18/2011 2:51:40 PM

Quote :

"I feel you...however...take a moment, clear your mind, and then think about some dude at a bar taking your wife home and just straight nailing the fuck out of her while she has multiple orgasms...then he finishes in her mouth."

I feel you...however...take a moment, clear your mind, and then think about taking some chick at the bar home and just straight nailing the fuck out of her while she has multiple orgasms...then finishing in her mouth.

fixed it for ya

actually, realistically, neither myself or my wife has any desire to venture outside of the marriage but i can't say its going to be like way forever.

1/18/2011 2:52:25 PM

I would be OK if my wife banged some celeb like Matt Damn or Sean Bean, and I would expect her to be cool with me banging Jessica Alba or Kate Winslett, because if either of those opportunities came up and we didn't take advantage of it, we would never be able to forgive ourselves.

1/18/2011 2:53:28 PM

I read through the first 2.5 pages before deciding I didn't want to read all 7 pages... but I do have to say this:

Unwittingly being the person a cheater cheats with is almost as bad as being cheated on. I had a guy trying to hook up with me for a couple weeks, and we almost did, until I met his girlfriend. Everybody knew about her but me, and it really hurt when I figured out he was trying to use me that way (mostly because I genuinely and foolishly liked him at the time.) But it got worse when she figured out he was "talking" to me - she went bat shit crazy and treated me like crap ever since. She even sent me harassing messages on facebook a year after I moved away from Raleigh and the mess was long dead.

I know it sucks having your SO cheat, but putting somebody in the position of the "other woman/man" without their knowledge is pretty fucking awful.


Also- I hate hate HATE when people judge a SO other based on whether or not they cheated in a past relationship. If you honestly think them messing up in the past implies they will do the same to you, just end it immediately. Unless they are habitual cheaters, most people learn from how much they hurt somebody they cared about and won't do it again. It's not like it was your trust they broke in the past.




V because a guy I did't regularly hang out with hitting on me, and his female companion's ensuing hatred for me is entirely my fault?

[Edited on January 18, 2011 at 3:05 PM. Reason : jbrick]

1/18/2011 2:59:03 PM

Quote :

"Unwittingly being the person a cheater cheats with is almost as bad as being cheated on. I had a guy trying to hook up with me for a couple weeks, and we almost did, until I met his girlfriend. Everybody knew about her but me, and it really hurt when I figured out he was trying to use me that way (mostly because I genuinely and foolishly liked him at the time.) But it got worse when she figured out he was "talking" to me - she went bat shit crazy and treated me like crap ever since. She even sent me harassing messages on facebook a year after I moved away from Raleigh and the mess was long dead. "

You should read more of the thread. Because no one even brings this up, nor does anyone probably care about it. And I hope that guy was in a long distance relationship, because you have to be pretty dumb to talk to someone for a few weeks and not know they are dating someone (especially if everyone else knew). Don't blame someone else for your mishaps.

1/18/2011 3:03:41 PM

Quote :

"I would be OK if my wife banged some celeb like Matt Damn or Sean Bean"

I'd be a little disappointed if my SO banged Sean Bean. That would be like me wasting my celebrity fuck on Carey Mulligan.

1/18/2011 3:05:20 PM

Since Mr. jbrick83 frowns upon posting in a thread without reading all of it, and also making a comment not relating to previously mentioned topics that are cared about by all, I have decided to rectify my terrible mistake. I now have some more relevant notes to add.

Quote :

"sometimes its just easier to relate to the boygirlfriend than your daughter son when she is known for being bonkers (or an asshole)."

Quote :

"if they are that ok with one night standing and friends with benefits what's to keep them from having something on the side when in a commited relationship"

What if they are having casual sex because they are emotionally incapable of having an actual relationship? I was emotionally defunct for two years, and while it did not stop me from having sex occasionally, I would not have had a real relationship (well, I had one during that time for a month, but it failed pretty hard).

Quote :

"I think it's a little too sunshine-and-roses to just say NEITHER OF US WILL EVER CONSIDER DOING ANYTHING OUTSIDE THE MARRIAGE, EVER."

That's part of being married. Unless you are like Governor Sanford, and have the vows regarding fidelity removed, you are promising your spouse to not cheat. End of story. It's not a promise to never consider it, it's a promise to not act on those thoughts or wishes.

Quote :

" Two dicks make a girl a pariah Two cunts make a guy a legend God, I love double standards"

I hate that this is so true. It's ridiculous to think less of an SO if she's done two dudes at once when most every man would flaunt the fact they did two ladies together.

Quote :

"Swinging is what our parents did Our generation sport fucks"

bahhaha best post of the page

[Edited on January 18, 2011 at 3:49 PM. Reason : forgot one]

1/18/2011 3:43:38 PM

Quote :

"that doesn't stop the husband from not thinking about it and having it eat away his soul."

Are you saying that particular space-time coordinates for some arbitrary cock could destroy your soul? You should consider how you allow things to affect you.

Quote :

"Your SO approaches you honestly and truthfully and says, "I have been wanting to sleep with <another person's name>. Would it be okay with you if I did that?? What would that do to your psyche?"

Nothing drastically negative

Quote :

"I feel you...however...take a moment, clear your mind, and then think about some dude at a bar taking your wife home and just straight nailing the fuck out of her while she has multiple orgasms...then he finishes in her mouth."

Do you fantasize about this often?

1/18/2011 3:46:17 PM

Sean Bean is huge in Europe.

He can't even go out in public anymore.

1/18/2011 3:47:18 PM

If MCDanger had a Girlfriend, I would fill her mouth with cum.

1/18/2011 3:48:19 PM

Quote :

"If MCDanger had a Girlfriend, I would fill her mouth with cum."

You and whose balls?

1/18/2011 3:48:45 PM

Are you saying that particular space-time coordinates for some arbitrary cock could destroy your soul? You should consider how you allow things to affect you.

1/18/2011 3:51:49 PM

It seems insane that genital friction could destroy your soul

1/18/2011 3:53:20 PM

too bad he wasn't born ginger, then he wouldn't have one to get destroyed

1/18/2011 3:56:50 PM

Quote :

"Are you saying that particular space-time coordinates for some arbitrary cock could destroy your soul? You should consider how you allow things to affect you."

Some people cannot detect exaggeration ITT.

But yes, it would bother me and most of the male population to know that someone else has been fucking their wife. What point are you trying to make again?

1/18/2011 4:11:41 PM

Quote :

"Has cheating on your SO become the social norm ? "

not official till facebook says so

1/18/2011 4:16:57 PM

you can list as "Its Complicated"....that seems pretty close!

1/18/2011 4:23:43 PM

Quote :

"That's part of being married. Unless you are like Governor Sanford, and have the vows regarding fidelity removed, you are promising your spouse to not cheat. End of story. It's not a promise to never consider it, it's a promise to not act on those thoughts or wishes. "

You completely missed my point.

I said I would go into marriage with the same intention as you: I will never cheat or want to cheat, and my husband will do the same. Just like it's supposed to be. But real life very rarely aligns with the ideal, in this or any other situation. Look at how many people DO cheat in their marriages. It's not like they all thought they would do that while they were at the altar.

My stance just comes from the realization that it could happen. I'm sure you have done things you swore/promised you wouldn't and never expected to. But you can't predict every situation. And if our situation turns into one where my husband considered cheating on me, I'd want him to be open about it so we could decide what to do about it. I also didn't say that if that happened I'd just say "sure, do it." It would undoubtedly bring up painful issues that we would have to address. But I'd rather us be open about it than try to hide anything.

I know you think it shouldn't/wouldn't happen because you promised not to and you are married. But what if it did? How would you want to deal with it? Refusing to answer that question because it just won't seems naive to me.

1/18/2011 5:23:28 PM