TO BILL BRASKY
[8]

10/8/2004 10:58:24 AM

One time I loaned brasky my truck... Of course he didnt bring it back with a full tank of gas, so i said something about it. I'll be damned if he didnt whip it out right there and top it off with about 20 gallons of urine... Truck ran better than new.

10/8/2004 11:02:50 AM

Brasky owns the exclusive rights to all of Rutger Hauer's dreams

10/8/2004 11:04:28 AM

Brasky! Best damn salesman ever lived. Why, one time he sold the Brooklyn Bridge to some dumb schmuck, and when the guy called him out on it, Brasky delivered the whole damn thing right to the fella's door!

10/8/2004 11:06:32 AM

Brasky has his own political party. Its described as a cross between the A-Team, Jesus Christ and cannibalism

10/8/2004 11:07:03 AM

Bill Brasky ate Andrew Jackson's second son

10/8/2004 11:12:02 AM

If Brasky bites you during a full moon, you turn into Hulk Hogan

10/8/2004 11:12:33 AM

It is rumored that Jack Handy was mentored by that Man-God Brasky while wandering around the Serengetti for 40 years. Handy claimed that this experience provided the foundation for his Zen-like philosophy and outlook on life.

10/8/2004 11:50:49 AM

Some of Brasky's most famous bastard children include...Purdue Basketball coach Gene Keady, The midget in "Bad Santa", and Kenny Loggins.

10/8/2004 2:35:58 PM

That crazy SOB visited the zoo one time and, upon arrival, took a giant shit into a duffel bag. When asked why, Brasky stated that it was ammunition

10/8/2004 3:25:18 PM

He sleeps eight hours a night! ........ well, he was pretty normal when it came to that.

10/8/2004 4:29:36 PM

Brasky won an award for rescuing an entire peruvian village from a dangerous flash flood. It was later revealed that he saved the villagers by eating them.

10/8/2004 4:30:28 PM

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle.

10/8/2004 4:41:01 PM

haha, he told us about it 6 pages ago

10/8/2004 4:42:07 PM

Did I ever tell you about the time that Brasky went big game hunting. Well we finally arrive in Africa and that S.O.B pulled out a sling shot and shot down a tree with a single pebble. The tree fell on top of a elephant instantly crushing the animal's life.He then resurected the animal's life back while singing "Circle of Life". It was so beautiful that I cried and shit myself

10/8/2004 4:46:46 PM

One time Bill Brasky walked 300 miles just so he could get into character while playing Jesus at a church performance.At the premier, the mass genocide wasn't necessary but it was pretty cool to see Jesus holding a machete and a skull

10/8/2004 4:54:19 PM

Bill Brasky invented the 80's

10/9/2004 11:35:59 PM

how about the one you said tonight?

Bill Brasky stuffed the dictionary, A through J, into his foreskin

10/9/2004 11:48:32 PM

If the United State were a scale model of Brasky's crotch, Bill Brasky would have pubic hair from oregon to michagin, zig zagging down to kansas, and back over to georgia

10/9/2004 11:49:22 PM

Bill Brasky once overruled the head linesman at a.....nevermind that was Jim Knight

10/9/2004 11:54:46 PM

Bill Brasky has the all time High Score on "The Newlywed Game"

10/9/2004 11:56:56 PM

^^^^haha Tim


Brasky once formed a band with Sonny Bono and Cher before they hit the big time. The trio operated under the moniker SonnysBitchNBrasky. They broke up after an arguement in which Sonny and Cher wanted to make music, Brasky wanted to eat the audiences and rape the stage crew after each performance. By damn if that SOB didn't win a Grammy and Nobel Peace Prize for his accomplishments

10/10/2004 3:52:00 PM

Quote :

"Bill Brasky invented the 80's"

and he also choreographed the downfall of big hair bands

10/10/2004 4:00:44 PM

A little known fact about Brasky is that he is a Master Chef. One of his favorite dishes is Razorback lowland Gorilla with steamed shark and caramelized python. You should see the look on the dinner guest's faces when that sob Brasky lifts the tray lid and they realize that all the main ingredients are as alive as they are pissed.

[Edited on October 10, 2004 at 4:10 PM. Reason : dfgdf]

10/10/2004 4:08:05 PM

Brasky attended a family reunion once and guests include Medusa, Hitler, Bozo the Clown, Bert and Ernie, three of the Jackson 5, Macgyver, and the starting offensive line of the 1984-85 Pittsburgh Steelers

[Edited on October 10, 2004 at 8:48 PM. Reason : n]

10/10/2004 8:43:55 PM

That Bill Brasky's a real son of a bitch. He once got into a gunfight completely unarmed. As the other man was taking his ten paces, Brasky began masturbating furiously. When the gunman turned, a stream of semen shot right through his chest and killed him. Three days after they buried him, over a hundred angry babies chewed their way out of the grave and commenced to rape and pillage the better part of the American Southwest.

10/10/2004 9:46:10 PM

Brasky attended a family reunion once and videotaped it. He sold it to Jerry Springer. It later aired as "I'm stuck in a crazy love triangle." When Springer went to deliver his final thought Brasky stood up and said "I'm Bill Brasky and here's my final thought." He proceeded to take a dump. Sure enough, a week later East and West Germany reunified.

10/10/2004 10:07:01 PM

The only reason people believe flying saucers exist is beacuse, one time, Bill Brasky drank an entire keg of beer, crushed the keg with his forehead, and threw the damn thing like a frisbee into a geostationary orbit. And I'll be damned if that thing didn't land 6 weeks later shortly after slicing the head off of the Prime Minister of New Zealand.

[Edited on October 11, 2004 at 12:54 AM. Reason : ]

10/11/2004 12:50:55 AM

One of Bill Brasky's favorite Halloween activities include handing out syringes and pirated DVDs to kids, well about four years ago i went to talk to Brasky about his "halloween ethics". After about ten minutes and a long cry i realized i was a women traped in a mans body.. best halloween ever!!

10/11/2004 9:20:11 AM

this has to be the single greatest thread ever created

10/11/2004 9:25:54 AM

^amen

10/11/2004 9:28:35 AM

lol, whats up fellas

10/11/2004 9:29:00 AM

^for you Pat

Another one of Bill Brasky's favorite Halloween activities include doing a reinactment of the Salem Witch trials, which he does through an interpetive dance duo with Pat..aka TKE-Teg, while listening to "My heart will go on".. last years attendance sold out the Fleet Center in Boston..

10/11/2004 9:32:34 AM

yeah, that was awesome

10/11/2004 9:36:42 AM

Brasky was in disbelief when he saw that he woke up on the moon. He thought for sure that his head would explode but apparently some aliens had helped him out with that. According to the tale, Brasky's snore summoned the beings from 19 universes away and it translated into "I'm Bill Brasky! I will rape you with a shovel if you don't bow to me." And yes, he did it anyway.

10/11/2004 9:41:30 AM

^ one of the better ones

10/11/2004 10:07:05 AM

I'M DRUNK

10/11/2004 11:16:21 AM

He'll act out the entire screenplay of Gremlins 2 if you ask him to.

10/11/2004 11:19:17 AM

Bill Brasky has a tractor trailer that has the words "Brasky's Rebel Thunder" written on the sides, Brasky keeps a whole collection of Archie comics in the back, and occasionally lets small children in to read the comics.
Well I'll be damned if every kid who touches those books doesn't wind up a slave in thailand!

TO BILL BRASKY

10/11/2004 11:22:01 AM

Brasky plays that guy that Bond shoots at the beginning of every movie. They hired him because the bullets can't hurt him. That red stuff isn't blood, it's Brasky's palpable aura of rage

10/11/2004 11:27:41 AM

Brasky was the one who influenced the Liberal Jew Media to end this Macarena crap.

10/11/2004 11:32:30 AM

On Bill Brasky's second birthday his parents threw a party and invited all the other children from the neighbourhood. One of them didn't bring a gift, so Brasky threw him up on the table, frosted him, stabbed two candles into his back, blew them out, and then ate him

10/11/2004 11:36:13 AM

^gotta love the british spelling of neighborhood.

10/11/2004 11:37:07 AM

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was a contestant on the Wheel of Fortune? It was his turn so he spun the wheel. Of course, Brasky being Brasky, he spun it so hard that it came off its hendges, decapitated Pat Sajak and slammed through the wall into the set of the Price is Right. Brasky walked through the hole in the wall and Bob Barker proceeded to lecture him on spaying and neutering his pets. Well, Brasky had enough of that and picked up Bob Barker and compressed him between his palms until he was small enough to fit on the Plinko board. And I'll be damned if he didn't win $10000 and a new Cadillac!

10/11/2004 11:43:10 AM

Brasky wrote the Alphabet song. Only he knows why the letters are in that order, and he ain't telling

10/11/2004 11:48:23 AM

Bill Brasky was the inspiration for the Ol Mother Hubbard nursery rhyme, but in reality, the dog was his mother, and instead of trying to feed her, he was trying to rape her

TO BILL BRASKY

10/11/2004 11:49:39 AM

So anyways, I won the third annual Brasky Invitational Full Contact Poker Tournament and of course first prize is a weekend hunting with Brasky. So the time comes and I'm dressed up in my hunting gear and got my favourite shotgun and brasky pulls up in a beat up old pickup truck and tells me to hop in. So we drive down to Florida and he pulls up to Disneyland and says "Here we are". So we wait till the park shuts down for the evening and sneak in, laying snares, traps and setting up blinds to shoot from. So the park opens and we begin hunting. Well, by the end of the weekend, we've bagged 7 princesses, 4 dwarves, 1 genie and 2 giant mice

10/11/2004 12:12:26 PM

I'm so confused.

10/11/2004 12:14:06 PM

Quote :

""HE DID THREE TOURS IN 'NAM... I WAS IN CORPUS CHRISTI ON BUSINESS A MONTH AGO. I HAD THIS EIGHT FOOT TALL ASIAN WATER, WHICH MADE ME CURIOUS. I ASKED HIS NAME. SURE ENOUGH IT'S HO TRAN BRASKY!""

10/11/2004 12:15:36 PM

The Mei Lai massacre in Vietnam occured when Brasky threw a temper tantrum when they cancelled The Bevery Hilbillies

10/11/2004 12:32:03 PM