so i would have just said "lets skip the whole match.com thing"....

but..

8/26/2011 12:05:51 PM

Quote :

"No pics where you're groping a member of the opposite sex."

So pics of guys groping guys is cool?

8/26/2011 12:08:09 PM

i need a nice girl who will help me keep on top of bills and groceries and cleaning and stuff...i will provide the money.
as simple as it gets

8/26/2011 12:10:22 PM

Quote :

"Must have the proper number of pics. At least 4, but no more than 12. No bathroom camera pics. No MySpace style pics. Minus 15 points if there's a date stamp in the pic from 2008 or earlier. Pics must show signs of personal interests (travel, hobbies) and not binge-drinking. No pics where you blur out a former sig other's face. No pics where you're groping a member of the opposite sex."

Damn guess I should take down the photo I took of myself in my downstairs bathroom drinking a 40 with my ex high school gf whose boob I'm grabbing from 2007.

8/26/2011 12:14:30 PM

You joke, but some people have some really crazy/nasty pics on there.

8/26/2011 12:14:59 PM

Quote :

"when i was on match i didn't like when guys listed their income no matter if it is "nothing to brag about" or "making bank" i think it's always in bad taste for example, you don't meet a guy through a friend and ask how much he makes before going on a date with him. some shit is just better left to a) finding out if there is a connection and b) if the relationship gets that far. i think you can figure out pretty quick what range of income someone has based on their hobbies, vacations (or lack of), spending habits, etc. people also tend to talk about their bills or how they pay off credit cards so you can piece together how someone handles money in the beginning before you know exactly how much they make"

see this is how i would think a lot of girls interpret the income bracket. If you're gonna throw down that you are making six figures, it might come off like you are bragging and pretentious and prob a douchebag or jerk that thinks women only care about money

at the same time, though, you are still sizing him up financially, through indirect ways (vacations, hobbies, spending habits, etc)

sounds like it's more important to figure out a guy's "worth" than just his income. I can agree with that

8/26/2011 12:22:31 PM

Quote :

"Honestly, that isn't the #1 thing I care about - I can see where Lucy is coming from as far as lifestyle, and maybe some insecurities coming out... but it was never that important to me. The only time it would be really important is if they tried controlling how I spent my money or something similar to the examples Lucy said (that's a little too crazy for me). As long as they're doing something they love and are ambitious, that's all that matters. For example, if he worked for a nonprofit I'm certainly not going to fault him for his salary - but I will if he seems lazy, doesn't care about where he's going in life, etc. And just to take on a different perspective, I see nothing wrong with the woman being the breadwinner and the man being a stay at home dad (if he wants to). I also see no problem with both people keeping their careers and raising a family (which is what will be my case in the future)."

oh of course, i def wouldn't want to date any girl that thinks money is the #1 reason to date a guy. That's just asking for trouble. I was more just asking how much of an effect it might have in your decision to go on a date with him, if the number was listed on his profile

8/26/2011 12:24:56 PM

I know. Believe me I know.

Goes back to what I just said a few min ago that I don't understand WTF some girls are thinking when they post pictures.

I could add to that list from a guy's point of view :
Photos that look like they were done at the Mall by one of those Glamor Shots places leave out.
Black and white photos where you are holding a rose looking off into the distance... not needed.
Include at least one photo that shows full body just for some sort of height/weight/proportion reference, not just all close-ups of your face.
No Photos with you and your dad. I see a lot of these, and they weird me out.
No more than one picture of your dog, especially if you aren't even in the picture.

8/26/2011 12:25:08 PM

i dress like a bum....have a bums job...and don't vacation that often (besides work related stuff)
i wonder what impression I'm giving off

8/26/2011 12:25:39 PM

Quote :

"I guess I've just gone with the mentality of being honest with as much as I can up front. Whether it's right or not most women one way or another care about salary so may as well list it. If they look and skip over me because of that then good I wasn't right for them anyways. I'm in my 30s now and looking to meet someone to settle down with so anything that weeds out a girl who is just gonna peace put later when she finds something like that out actually saves me time and money."

im the same way, i've always been very upfront with every aspect of my life, including my income, but that was also when i was a poor grad student making 20k/year and i didn't really care and was pretty much seeing other girls in similar situations. I've since become quite successful at what I do now, and i'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable at discussing numbers because im afraid of being judged, either negatively for looking like a materialistic douche, or positively like i'm the jackpot this girl has been waiting for.

8/26/2011 12:28:53 PM

Must have at least one full body shot and at least one close-up!

8/26/2011 12:29:26 PM

since when did girls stop caring about what guys look like?

8/26/2011 12:31:20 PM

Looks are important on match. Gotta have something to draw em in!

8/26/2011 12:33:40 PM

lol @ between 4-12 pics for guys. It would be kinda weird to see a dude w/40 pics listed though


i have 6-8 pics up usually and update frequently. Nothing is more than a year old


as for girls pics, i have no set rules honestly, but the more the merrier. I have no problem with a girl putting up 20+ pics. Prob gives them an advantage.

bikini/bathing suit shots aren't necessary, but some kind of full body shot is nice to see, even if its clothed and with friends.

8/26/2011 12:34:13 PM

If a guy has more than about 12 pics, inevitably he'll put up a weird one. More than 12 is a bit overwhelming. Too much to process.

Give a taste, and deliver the full package during the date.

8/26/2011 12:35:57 PM

the problem with match (and most other dating sites)
...seems like the girls on there haven't looked in the mirror in quite a while..

i get messages regularly on that site and I have yet to reply to a single one! Im not sure what the deal is...but EVERY girl that contacts me looks like someone my mom would hang out with..

you don't see me going around asking out supermodels..do you?



[Edited on August 26, 2011 at 12:38 PM. Reason : d]

8/26/2011 12:36:20 PM

u might be the first dude i know that signs on and waits for girls to message him. Use the search feature and start looking


Triangle area has plenty of drop dead gorgeous women on match. And I'm fully convinced by the law of averages that one of them will go out with me someday

8/26/2011 12:40:55 PM

thats my problem..

one day Im like.."hey i should get on one of these sites and see if there are any cool girls on there"..

so i sign up...possibly upload a pic or two...

..then i forget about the site and never log in again (but still get emails and spam from them daily)

8/26/2011 12:42:55 PM

ah yes, the classic 'gym club membership' trap

8/26/2011 12:44:43 PM

profiles make all the difference

i helped a friend of mine set up her profile on match and here is some the advice i gave her. all of this can apply to guys on dating websites too. except i told her not to message the guys first, let them message her and respond if she was interested

1. Have 4-5 photos posted & have a folder prepped of other pictures you can rotate in to keep it fresh. Also, mix up your profile every 2-3 weeks. Nothing drastic just change it up, you never know what someone might hook onto that could make the difference between writing back and not responding.

2. Photos should be cropped to show you. People will assume you have friends, you don't need to post a group shot. Besides, this is about you. You don't want prospects thinking your friends are hotter than you.

3. Always have at least one full body shot to easy "myspace angle" nervousness or the lack of a full body shot attempting to hide something. It doesn't have to be sexy, just a normal picture from at least your thighs up.

4. If you have a picture of yourself "dressed up" or in a hot outfit, post it. That mixed with some "normal" shots show that you can clean up nice and look good but on a daily basis you're not running around like that. Sets a more normal expectation.

5. In your profile, be specific and give people something to talk to you about. Make it easy. When I was on match, my profile stated sushi as a favorite. I ended up going on probably a dozen sushi dates because I made it easy to pick a restaurant. Also iheartkisses is spot on, your pictures are better if they match your hobbies.

6. Respond in a timely manner but don't spend too much time emailing, texting or on the phone. Once you establish that you're still interested after a few interactions, meet! Too much talking before meeting sets up this expectation that is hard to meet.

7. Don't respond (and for the guys, don't write) generic messages. It's usually pretty obvious. Someone sending out mass emails to women looks pretty desperate, even on a dating website. Put some thought into the message, even if it is just to ask a question about a hobby mentioned or compliment something in the picture (Ex: "I really like the picture of you at the Grand Canyon, I have never been but it looks amazing")

8. If a guy isn't calling you and is only texting or emailing, red flag.


and of course, my personal motto, "you're never too busy to get what you want" so if you feel like someone isn't making the time for you, they're probably not that into you.

this ended up longer than i expected but maybe it will help some of you on the dating sites

8/26/2011 1:40:30 PM

That sounds like too much work. I'll just stick to buying chicks drinks at the bar till one of them gets drunk and comes home with me.

8/26/2011 1:48:32 PM

Agreed one full body shot at least. Doesnt matter what anyone says looks matter to a point and if you don't post pics that give a reasonable idea on both face and body don't be surprised when someone shows up to a date and you never hear back from them because you misrepresented yourself.

8/26/2011 1:53:12 PM

Yeah, the amount of time I've invested is kind of ridiculous, but I have met a lot of people so I guess it's worth it. I ended up going out with the first chick I've picked up at a bar a few weeks ago and I was quickly reminded why I prefer online dating.

[Edited on August 26, 2011 at 1:54 PM. Reason : ^^]

8/26/2011 1:53:52 PM

I rarely to never message first and I've had decent enough luck..

8/26/2011 1:55:47 PM

Quote :

"Triangle area has plenty of drop dead gorgeous women on match. And I'm fully convinced by the law of averages that one of them will go out with me someday "

I must not be getting any of these girls in my searches because drop dead gorgeous girls are a rare find on there to me and most of the ones I do find are obviously bots used to trick guys into signing up lol

8/26/2011 2:03:09 PM

Quote :

"That sounds like too much work. I'll just stick to buying chicks drinks at the bar till one of them gets drunk and comes home with me."

Really? I find your method to end in failure to often + cost a lot. Buying girls drinks at bars always seemed to me to be a way to get a girl drunk so she wanders home with another guy and your left with a $50 tab. To the point where a lot of my girl friends laugh at guys buying them drinks and will basically just try to drink for free all night never actually having any intention at all to hook up.

Maybe your success ratio with that is higher than me, but it really isn't that much work to make a profile and send a few emails.

8/26/2011 2:04:56 PM

Yeah, I know plenty of girls like that as well.

8/26/2011 2:05:57 PM

Don't act like there aren't a lot of girls on online dating sites looking to pickup a couple free meals a week either. Haha

8/26/2011 2:07:40 PM

disagree with #2, i dont think its a big deal if you show a pic or two w/ur friends or family or pet. For guys, a pic is a pic


also def disagree with #8. I am almost always texting first before i call. Just easier that way

8/26/2011 2:32:47 PM

http://www.blackpeoplemeet.com/success-stories.cfm

8/26/2011 2:33:59 PM

Quote :

"8. If a guy isn't calling you and is only texting or emailing, red flag. "

Yeah wasn't sure by this one if it meant there was something wrong with the person if they were just texting or if it meant the person actually isn't that interested? Last girl I went out with a few times I never called only emailed/texted. It didn't end well but doubt it had to do with texting.

I hate calling people, and prefer to just text for anything if possible.

8/26/2011 3:01:45 PM

its really a lot of fun.

i dont myself to be an expert on online dating, but ive used most of the sites and gone on dozens of dates.

dated a handful of them for short periods of time, bwnd many, got the qtip in the peen on more than one occasion.

current gf found on eharmony been almost a year now

match.com was my least favorite- i even had more fun with plentyoffish (i live in charlotte, btw).

she gets mad when i mention we found each other while she was paying full price ($29/mo) and i had a coupon ($9/mo) bahaha.

8/26/2011 3:11:37 PM

Yes, but girls typically make their money back on that site. And then some.

8/26/2011 3:13:18 PM

^^hahaha

8/26/2011 3:14:58 PM

Also, I kind of consider myself an online dating expert at this point. I made a lot of friends, found love and really enjoyed the experience. Would love to team up with some friends to write a book on the subject. An e-book!

8/26/2011 3:15:52 PM

Good to know I'll start PM'ing you for advice from now on instead of making my own decisions that always end up going wrong.

8/26/2011 3:33:10 PM

heres a tip:

going to epicenter in charlotte to see snookie at whisky river as a first date was a bad fucking idea.

[Edited on August 26, 2011 at 3:37 PM. Reason : thank you, plentyoffish]

8/26/2011 3:37:02 PM

i'd be willing to challenge iheartkisses for resident dating website expert. Although I would also be willing to share the title

8/26/2011 5:08:08 PM

Quote :

"got the qtip in the peen on more than one occasion."

8/26/2011 5:29:05 PM

Good for him. You can never be too careful.

8/26/2011 5:41:10 PM

Quote :

"1. Have 4-5 photos posted & have a folder prepped of other pictures you can rotate in to keep it fresh. Also, mix up your profile every 2-3 weeks. Nothing drastic just change it up, you never know what someone might hook onto that could make the difference between writing back and not responding. "

Ok here's the thing. I'm a dude. I don't take pics of myself and I don't really ask others to take pics of me. I have a bunch of random pics of me on Facebook but they are not going to work on a dating site. It took me a while to find a decent set of pics to put on Match. I have only rotated out 1 or 2 pics and I really have nothing left.

[Edited on August 26, 2011 at 5:43 PM. Reason : .]

8/26/2011 5:42:25 PM

Any dude with 12 pics of himself on a dating website is guaranteed to be a douchebag.

8/26/2011 5:45:25 PM

get a camera with a timer and talk self-portraits of yourself in the skinny-arm pose while making the duck face.

8/26/2011 5:45:43 PM

just finished my profile...bring on the pussy

8/26/2011 5:47:53 PM

Met my current chica on Match back in February. Given the stigma involved with online dating we tell everyone that we met in the grocery store after I made a comment on the price of off season tomatoes. We figure we'll tell folks how we actually met in a year or so when it's been confirmed that neither one of us are creepers.

8/26/2011 6:07:26 PM

Is meeting over tomatoes really that much better than online? One thing I found from doing online dating is a ton of people do it and it is much less embarrassing to admit than I originally figured it would be. Still bad.. but not make up a story over tomatoes bad. Or at least make up a cooler story at that point.

8/26/2011 8:23:13 PM

I am sure you are familiar with the Harris Teeter near Gorman? That place was/is? infamous for meeting people. The tomatoes story actually works well for us because I LOVE tomato sandwiches so when I saw a cute girl looking at some adjacent veggies I made some outloud yet mildly humorous comment about either the price or condition of imported tomatoes from Canada in February, she laughs and we start talking from there.

The interesting thing about it is that she actually had a recommendation from a relative to try and meet a guy in a grocery store, so we kinda just ran with it. And we both have solid alibis for being there hypothetically.

8/26/2011 9:06:39 PM

I mean I get that. Just seems like it isn't that much better of a story than just saying, "funny enough we actually met online..." Like are you worried people will think badly because of that?

Just saying if I meet a couple and I'm like how did you meet and they start going on about some tomatoes bullshit I'm bored already. If they go "well we met online" I find that more interesting, would want to know about what it was like the first time they met, shit like that. To me how you met isn't really something people are that interested in, but it can be a decent conversation piece and meeting online is more that then a made up grocery store story.

8/26/2011 9:44:52 PM

Yeah it's kind of weird to make up a story rather than just saying you met online. This isn't the early 90s.

Unless of course this is your girlfriend, then I could see the need for an alibi.

8/26/2011 10:10:16 PM

my sister and her husband met online, and for the longest time they said they met at a bar. going back to my college days i remembered what that might have entailed (get drunk and do the deed) so i made fun of them mercilessly. once they told me they met online, i was confused as to why they didn't just say that in the first place. it's really not a big deal.

8/26/2011 10:15:09 PM