How did it go with the parents meeting?

10/17/2011 7:31:30 PM

it went well. it was a little awkward, though. I have what I like to call "business class redneck" parents, and his parents are incredibly nerdy so the conversation didnt flow too well. his mom is incredibly excited about all the planning stuff, a little too excited, which was also awkward.

10/17/2011 7:56:25 PM

I'm going to go on a wedding talk binge since right now I can't talk to anyone in my family about it

We got the Save The Dates in!! They only took like 2 days to process and ship.. pretty crazy. And stamps are flipping expensive - definitely going the Google Talk route when we do RSVPs.

I'm trying to think of new hairstyles now, too - any ideas for a curly hair style that's about shoulder length?

How do you guys go about asking other people to help with stuff? I feel so terrible asking, but I know Eric's mom really loves crafts. Like, LOVESSSS them. And I know she would get the super nice craft material... But what to say? I guess just be blunt?


I'm also trying to think of ideas for the ceremony.. I've been trying to find some pictures of like a square arbor (?) with some wildflowers (only a little bit) or fabric draped and twisted through it

10/18/2011 9:02:19 PM

I wanted to do an arbor but it was proving to be such a pain in the ass we ended up doing nothing at all as a backdrop. But we also had the ocean behind us. If it had been a plainer ceremony spot to begin with I might have put more effort into it

As far as asking people, just ask I didn't ask for a whole lot of help but that's only because I'm really anal retentive about my craft stuff. But I definitely had some of my bridesmaids help out with things like the flower arrangements and the invites.

We did online/phone RSVPs and it was great. I think these days RSVP cards are kind of a waste of paper. Surprisingly there was only one person we had to contact after our RSVP date and it was someone we figured wouldn't come anyway. I was expecting us to have to track down a lot more people than that.

And yeah, you don't realize how expensive mailing letters are until you have to send a buttload haha. We have square envelopes which made things even worse.

10/18/2011 9:19:12 PM

Yeahhhhh, ours is on a driving range green Granted, it's a pretty back drop, but I want a little something something still


I need to start working on crafty stuff... definitely going to ask Eric's mom to make the pin wheels.



This is going to sound horrible, but I feel like I can't even talk to my mom as much as Eric's mom about this stuff anymore :\ The last time I tried talking to her about something important she said at the end, "Well they're going to have to talk to Crystal about that first" (with an attitude). I was all... WTF? And asked what she had to do with anything. Then she said how she wasn't going to decide on something important like that for my sister, and that it would be her and Mike's decision.


SO BASICALLY, I love my sister, but it will be kind of nice when people actually listen to our important stuff. The thing in question was my dad saying the prayer before dinner at the reception. I talked to my mom about it in detail like 2 weeks ago... and then when she finally realized what I was talking about (after I got pissed), she kept acting like she thought it was the rehearsal dinner, blah blah.

10/18/2011 9:25:19 PM

My mom was being a total bitch during my wedding planning and to this day I have no idea why. We normally get along fine but she was wanting me to have this big traditional wedding which was not what we wanted AT ALL. My husband thinks that she was probably just trying to make up for the fact her wedding was basically a potluck in her parents' backyard because of money constraints. But seeing as they were Dead Heads you'd think that'd be the sort of wedding she'd want in the first place

But annnnnnnnnnnnnnnyway, it really upset me for a few months that I couldn't talk to my mom about the wedding stuff because she would just get so uppity about everything. It really put a big strain on our relationship. I think my dad must have had words with her and told her to chill the fuck out because about two months before the wedding she suddenly did a 180 and was actually willing to listen to my ideas and help out with things.

As for my sister, she's so out of it most of the time I didn't really talk to her about the wedding at all, other than to bitch about our mom driving me crazy I found that my friends were much more supportive and easy to talk to about the wedding than anyone in my family :/

10/18/2011 9:37:41 PM

Sam you can talk to me if you need to vent

10/18/2011 9:45:50 PM

thanks guys


The sad thing is, it's not that I don't want to talk to her about stuff because she gets uppity (even though she did the other night, for reasons I'm about to explain) - it's because everyone is SO FOCUSED on my sister's wedding and has been for the past year that every important thing I bring up.. I either have to repeat myself (a lot) or they just keep screwing it up so I give up. Then it's extra irritating when they'll occasionally ask when I'm going to do x, then I say I have already done it, and they get all depressed like they want to help out. Well, maybe if people got their heads out of my sister's asshole they would know what's going on. Or, should I say, maybe if she wasn't being such a psycho all year and didn't make people scared of her they would be willing to branch out and see what the other daughter is doing.

It just sucks. Most of our wedding planning time period is going to seem nonexistant because this has been going on for so long. Even some of our family didn't know our wedding date, or thought we had just gotten engaged.

/rant. Sorry.

10/18/2011 9:48:59 PM

Quote :

"Then it's extra irritating when they'll occasionally ask when I'm going to do x, then I say I have already done it, and they get all depressed like they want to help out. Well, maybe if people got their heads out of my sister's asshole they would know what's going on. "

Have you said to them, "I told you about this and you didn't seem interested. So I didn't bring it up again. It's hard to talk to you about these things when I get blown off."

Not that I think it would necessarily help, but at least they'd know where you're coming from.

10/18/2011 9:51:58 PM

Yeah, I have. But I'll admit it, now I have gotten pretty bad about just not telling them. The other day my stepdad asked my mom, "So... what is Sam and Eric doing now? I haven't heard much about it." Then my mom kept bugging me (she was visiting) and finally I just snapped and told her how it just didn't seem that important to everyone so I kept my mouth shut. She was a little sad when I told her how much shit I have done already, but she at least did let me know she has actually been saving for our wedding. :\ Then I felt like an ass. But I got to pay our deposit for the caterer and DJ, so that's good.



It just feels weird. I don't even really feel like a bride. That's pretty sad.

10/18/2011 10:02:33 PM

That sounds awful. When is your sister's wedding over? It's soon right? I know you're doing this remotely, and have to get your stuff done early, but at least they won't have ANY excuses not to give you their undivided attention then.

[Edited on October 18, 2011 at 10:05 PM. Reason : ]

10/18/2011 10:04:55 PM

Funny you should mention that - I guess my biggest fear at this point is that everyone will be so burned out from her stuff that by the time they're willing to help out with another wedding, it'll be like December or January and guess what? We'll be at the 6 or 5 month mark and I'll be done with most of it.


So... this may sound selfish, but I'm extremely happy for them and kind of can't wait for them to just be married and for this to be over.

10/18/2011 10:07:34 PM

I think that's a valid concern. By the time our wedding (and each of my sister's) was over, we vowed never to do it again, and everyone was going to to have to elope in the future. But, in your case, they can't do that. Give them a week to recoup, and then I'd start harping on them to get back to it! It's not your fault your sister decided to get married before you.

However, unless you and your sister have overlapping bridesmaids, I would use your bridesmaids and future mother-in-law as much as possible. With my MIL she was thrilled to be asked to do anything, and she did it exactly how we wanted. She just wanted to be involved in some way. Your MIL might look at it the same way, so I wouldn't hesitate to ask her to do something.

10/18/2011 10:11:46 PM

I'm gonna derail a bit, sorry...

I think these are gonna be my wedding shoes! I really haven't been able to share them with anyone that would appreciate the geekery.. Made 'em myself!

10/18/2011 10:35:30 PM

um, I LOVE THOSE!!!!

snaps for making them, too

10/18/2011 10:41:16 PM

^^ that is awesome (and all that more special since you made them yourself).

Quote :

"So... this may sound selfish, but I'm extremely happy for them and kind of can't wait for them to just be married and for this to be over."

honestly, if i were in your shoes, i'd feel the same way. did your sister get engaged after you and Eric? if so then i would be kind of pissed. not that you can control their timeline of things but i would feel like she was taking away a bit of my thunder.

sam, i think at this point you're doing nothing wrong in asking Eric's mom to help out and any bridesmaids that are available and would like to help. if your mom or your family says anything, just be like, "well i know you've been busy helping out my sister with her wedding and i didn't want to overwhelm you with wedding stuff. there will be plenty of things i will need help on in the spring right before the wedding so i will definitely tap in for your help then."

i've had a lot of people recently saying they want to help me - which is great, but at this point i'm content doing a lot of it on my own. but what i'm doing is making a list of people who are offering to help and listing ideas next to their name of something they mentioned they would like to help with or something i think they could be of great help to me.

like my fiance's sister for example - she offered to help and she's really great with fashion. we have a lot of similar tastes in shoes and accessories and often go to each other to show stuff we've bought or like. so i said to her i would definitely need her help with picking out shoes, rehearsal dinner dress, accessories, etc. this way i am utilizing her but also working toward the benefit of what she's good at and is interested in.

10/19/2011 8:02:18 AM

Yeah, after. We got engaged January of 2010 and they got engaged I think July 2010? So almost our entire experience has been overshadowed. I get you only get one day, maybe a few more with showers and all that ish, but it's a little overwhelming.


I'll never forget her "asking" me how I felt about them getting married before us and that she didn't want to "steal my thunder." I found out recently she had no intentions of not doing October even if I had issues nice.

Oh well, I guess. I got some pretty baller shoes for saturday though.

10/19/2011 12:51:34 PM

We ended up finding an officiant to marry us in Virginia. Went beautifully, though it was cold yesterday morning and I was pretty chilly in my short sleeved dress.

10/23/2011 1:16:11 PM

Congrats!

(also I super love those tights)

10/23/2011 2:20:27 PM

Congrats

10/23/2011 4:32:06 PM

congrats!!!


And Sam, purple is a lovely color on you! (from fb pics)

10/23/2011 6:35:57 PM

congrats!

smcain i LOVE those shoes!!

I can officially stop coming to this thread, we got married yesterday! Sacred Heart Cathedral and then reception at Caffe Luna, it was beautiful! Our rickshaw driver took us to go see the Occupy Raleigh protesters after the reception!




[Edited on October 23, 2011 at 8:54 PM. Reason : sorry so big]

10/23/2011 8:41:28 PM

Congrats Katie!!!!!

10/23/2011 9:33:26 PM

congrats tartsquid and katie!


thanks piddlebug here are some pics



good shot of my hurrr, and my sister's flower (with her something old)... the pearls she wore were her something borrowed, and were our great great grandmother's (we had to rig them though because they were a tad long)


Even though I wanted to smack her at certain points during the weekend, I am so happy for her and Mike, and she ended up calming down after the ceremony




oh ps, I almost fell TWICE during the ceremony. When everyone was sitting down and being quiet. And when I say almost fell, I mean I straight up slipped and it's a miracle I didn't bust my ass

[Edited on October 23, 2011 at 11:56 PM. Reason : .]

[Edited on October 23, 2011 at 11:58 PM. Reason : .]

10/23/2011 11:55:58 PM

you look so pretty, Sam! Glad it went well and now everyone can focus on your wedding

10/24/2011 1:38:29 PM

My poor bride is getting married on Saturday. The guys still haven't gotten their tuxes, the grooms Mom isn't attending the wedding, and she doesn't even know if there is going to be a rehearsal dinner. However, she says she isn't stressed out and is just going with it, as long as they are married, then she doesn't really care about the rest. Props to her. I just wish it wasn't so complicated for her.

10/26/2011 1:04:22 PM

woo! step dad just told me he plans on buying all the liquor for the wedding

10/26/2011 9:49:22 PM

Let's see if this works....



Do facebook photos not show up anymore

10/26/2011 10:08:01 PM

I can see it.

You guys look fantastic

10/26/2011 10:26:30 PM

^^Y'all need to go ahead and have to cute babies. kthx

10/27/2011 7:36:34 AM

aw congrats big bro!

you guys look so happy

10/27/2011 11:28:25 AM

so pretty! Kirk I LOVED your wife's dress

ahhhh it looks like we're getting really close to securing a place! fingers crossed that next week we are all settled with that.

10/27/2011 12:10:43 PM

Y'all look so happy congrats!

10/27/2011 4:48:17 PM

date - check!
venue - check!
caterer - check!
bartender - check!

10/27/2011 9:02:10 PM

^ damn you're getting married months after me and you're way ahead of me

10/27/2011 9:13:45 PM

we had to have the date set by the end of this month because his mom needed to request time off, and the other stuff kind of fell in after we got the venue. thank goodness

very happy about the venue, it isn't fancy, but it's nice. we can hire whoever we want to do whatever we want, no real restrictions. we can bring in our own food and booze and all that jazz, and decorate however we want (no tape/glue/thumbtacks on the wall, but command strips are ok)

10/27/2011 9:31:50 PM

i like reading this thread cause i'm no where near getting married but i like planning parties so i can live vicariously through all of you guys

carry on

10/27/2011 9:37:29 PM

you can come plan mine. yesterday at the venue mom, fiance, and venue manager were talking and then stopped and stared at me and i realized they had asked me a question but i wasnt paying attention.

10/27/2011 9:41:59 PM

I think we'll secure the place next week because we have to start to let extended family who live out of the country know (most of our guests don't live in NC). Once we get the venue, everything else falls into place since they do everything which is fine by me

10/27/2011 9:57:39 PM

good luck!

10/27/2011 10:08:57 PM

Omagah.. I can post here with a purpose now

If anyone who is recently married wants to donate any old bridal magazines, holler @ me via PM. Otherwise, pinterest & etsy are my friends.

10/29/2011 10:31:22 AM

I think I still have some issues of Martha Stewart Wedding. I haven't gotten around to unpacking that box yet though. If I find them I'll let you know

10/29/2011 10:32:42 AM

Woohoo I love Martha Stewart! Thank you

10/29/2011 10:41:12 AM

Mom is getting me issues of Carolina Bride. We should do some swaps!

10/29/2011 12:21:40 PM

wrong thread.

[Edited on October 29, 2011 at 12:32 PM. Reason : .]

10/29/2011 12:32:15 PM

my friends got married this weekend. here's their cake. LOVE it

and it was cookies and cream icing

10/31/2011 11:01:49 AM

I know there is a lot of photographer talk throughout this whole thread, but I'm lazy and kind of want something specific in a photographer. I want more casual and fun pictures and only enough staged portrait type pictures to make the moms happy. I definitely want pics of all the girls together, and then all the guys, and you know the standard set ups, but I don't want them to be all stiff and staged with fake smiles and bullshit. Any suggestions, TWW?

11/1/2011 1:54:44 PM

^ honestly that sounds like almost all photographers these days. I think very few of them only do formal portraits. Story Photographers was great for that sort of thing I thought. Their blog has lots of photos from all their weddings. http://storyphotographers.com/

Quote :

"and it was cookies and cream icing"

That sounds amazing!

11/1/2011 2:07:10 PM

That's pretty much what our photographer did, but I think any photographer will do what you ask them to. Here's his site:

http://www.jeremyigo.com

11/1/2011 2:07:19 PM

2^They are my first choice, but I want some backups as well.

11/1/2011 2:48:14 PM