Well and I think if you make up an elaborate story about tomatoes in a grocery store, then later you tell people, "lol j/k we met online," those people are going to be like, "wtf ".

8/26/2011 10:18:24 PM

I think it's perfectly acceptable to dictate your own narrative. Just say you met wherever you first actually met--coffee house, restaurant, park, etc...

"How'd you meet?" isn't even a question I ask cause it's none of my business. I actually think people assume I'm self-centered because I don't ask these prying questions about people. What do you do? Where do you work? Where are you from? What high school did you go to? Where'd you go to college? Where do you go to church? How did you meet? How did he propose?

8/26/2011 10:21:45 PM

Quote :

"I think it's perfectly acceptable to dictate your own narrative. "

True, but you don't change it a year into your relationship

8/26/2011 10:23:51 PM

^^what questions do you ask then?

"Did you like chicken and broccoli casseroles?"

8/26/2011 10:25:54 PM

I nervously/hyperactively share something about myself--whatever I'm feeling.

People seek to calm me by volunteering information about themselves, and my questions go from there...

8/26/2011 10:34:57 PM

Thats kindof the point. Who really cares how someone met, they did and if they are happy good for them.

So if you are going to make up a story I'd say go for something that is really worth making up at least...

Quote :

"And we both have solid alibis for being there hypothetically."

Must have taken pretty sophisticated criminal minds to come up with a reason for being at the grocery store.

8/26/2011 10:40:48 PM

guys, you are right. my advice is geared to women but you can crib a few tips

i dont understand the "shame" of telling people you met online. my bf and i met online over three years ago, just as it was becoming "acceptable" to meet online. people always ask so i just tell them the truth and it's a way more entertaining story than a lie

mostly because i dated 22 (approx, i cant remember the exact amount now) guys in 2 months and kept a blog about it. i just don't tend to take myself too seriously and the whole online dating thing was definitely to find someone to spend my time with but when it didnt work out, i just used the bummer experience to entertain myself and my friends

8/26/2011 11:00:12 PM

I think it kind of depends on who you're dating too. I have two close friends who are dating guys they met online. Friend A had a great boyfriend, wonderful personality, etc. Nobody thinks anything of the fact they met online. Friend B is dating a total creeper slob that everyone is about. So she gets the old school stereotype response to her online dating choice.

[Edited on August 26, 2011 at 11:04 PM. Reason : v]

8/26/2011 11:04:16 PM

seems like a normal enough response

why is she dating a creeper???

8/26/2011 11:08:06 PM

Trust me, we've all been trying to figure that out My theory is that she's one of these girls that when she gets into a relationship it's SUPER SERIAL right away, which sets herself up for failure, and then she goes onto a drinking binge of years while not dating, before dating again. She finally found a guy that doesn't find her clingy nature psycho, and that's probably because he's a total creep.

8/26/2011 11:11:13 PM

Holy crap, NCSUWolfy is for real.

Burning through 22 dudes in 60 days and writing all of them up online publicly.

Intense.

^I hate it when the dude who doesn't mind comes along...worst relationships ever, and they never end...


[Edited on August 26, 2011 at 11:14 PM. Reason : ]

8/26/2011 11:12:24 PM

Thankfully, neither one of us are creepers and she also doesn't look like the chick from the last page. You guys are probably right about the story thing. Will elaborate later..

8/26/2011 11:13:11 PM

I couldn't argue with any of your points, wolfy which means I agree with all of them and they are all accurate and logical according to my own personal study of online dating. You, ma'am, are a professional.

8/26/2011 11:15:53 PM

Quote :

"I hate it when the dude who doesn't mind comes along...worst relationships ever, and they never end..."

YES! THIS! They're actually getting married next year and I feel bad for both of them because I can't see it lasting long

8/26/2011 11:18:46 PM

22 free sushi dinners. Simply being a girl is a great perk.


Use it while you got it.

8/26/2011 11:25:17 PM

^^Yup! I know exactly what you're talking about.

^Yeah, we used to joke about people getting free dinner once a week, but she wins for sure. Very impressive and no shame in the game.

8/26/2011 11:32:26 PM

It's seriously seriously seriously not rare.

I have a stripper that was recently broken up and she brought 7 guys [from match.com], 7 days in a row. They all had no problem paying and the guys were so excited about my pizza, subs, and beer selection. She knows I'm not going to say anything because she's bringing me business, and I know that the food I serve is going to bring her business.... if you know what I mean

[Edited on August 26, 2011 at 11:36 PM. Reason : .]

8/26/2011 11:34:36 PM

Are you pimping on the side to make ends meet?

8/26/2011 11:36:13 PM

Meh, kinda. Girls that come to my restaurant all the time but complain about how expensive it is... I tell them to simply go online and find some random dude. Bring him and get a free meal as well as not be alone


REMIX:
Let me see if I can communicate my thoughts properly:

"You could say that. Occasionally, there are some single girls that frequent my restaurant by themselves. After about 4 or 5 times of eating at my restaurant, they joke about how much money they are spending in my restaurant. I, of course, appreciate their business and would like to see them come back, therefore I suggest to them to find a random, but decent date online, with no intentions of hooking up, however the possibility of a hookup is still there, and at worst case scenario they walk away with a free meal from their favorite restaurant and have had a companion."


Jesus Christ, I'm the stupidest sounding smart person I know. I give up for now. I can't communicate effectively to save my life.



[Edited on August 26, 2011 at 11:49 PM. Reason : .]

8/26/2011 11:38:05 PM

^bro... Wtf?

8/26/2011 11:57:01 PM

Sorry, what you witnessed was a self-improvement session gone wrong.

I type what I want to say, but when I read it back it's not what I meant to say at all. It's so frustrating, you have no idea. I've been trying all my life to try to communicate my thoughts to other people successfully.

There's a saying... "keep trying and eventually you'll get it."
That shit doesn't work.

I don't have that physical brain program that everyone else has to recall words that I know exist, but can't recollect. I, by the forces of nature, am forced to use an incorrect synonym to form a literary expression for the things I know.

For example, I can remember every name and artist of a song, but I can't even memorize the first line of a song from just hearing the song without the explicit attempt at memorizing the first sentence. I don't explicitly attempt to memorize every name an artist of a song, it's just natural.

Other people, can sing a song backwards and forward all day long, but they can't remember the name and artist of the song with the explicit attempt of learning it. Life's whack.

I must presume that a program/code in our DNA is in charge of our ability to carry out our thought process. Everyone who has a brain is below average at something: whether it be mathematics, following directions, ability to navigate, ability to manage money, short term memory errors, long term memory errors, midterm memory errors, art, biology and science.

Long story short: I know what's wrong with me and I can't fix it because the code to do what I want to do is simply not in my head.

Although I'll never get it, I'm going to keep trying and making myself look stupid until I get it.

Anyway... back to the thread




[Edited on August 27, 2011 at 12:33 AM. Reason : .]

8/27/2011 12:27:49 AM

Ya because it sounds to me like you are convincing lonely single women, and strippers to go on dating sites with no intention of actually finding compatible guys and bring them to your restraunt so they can get a free meal and you can make more money.

8/27/2011 12:37:28 AM

^I thought that's what I said?

8/27/2011 12:53:00 AM

Ok so there isn't a communication issue here. Which brings me back to,

Bro...wtf?

8/27/2011 12:55:41 AM

I'm not sure you're communicating to me which part alarms you?

8/27/2011 1:07:03 AM

I think a lot of people don't know what a good photo looks like and what photo flatters them and what does not.

The vast majority of chicks don't look good in photos with harsh, direct, and/or overhead lighting. Having a good smile goes far. However, there are tons of bad smiles. Frowning or looking like a sourpuss is worse.

Try to post something with a good exposure.

8/27/2011 1:28:24 AM

^^you really don't see anything wrong with that?

8/27/2011 1:35:40 AM

No?

8/27/2011 2:03:44 AM

It's essentially being an escort service funneling the money through your restaurant.

8/27/2011 9:05:37 AM

What's wrong with that? Plenty of women use guys for free meals, may as well be at his place of business. Hell he oughta place a targetted ad the match.com website

8/27/2011 9:11:49 AM

I have no issues paying for everything on the first date at all, but usually I just meet a girl for drinks on the first date, so it doesn't get that expensive anyways. Also, it's easier that way in case it isn't going so well you can have one or two drinks and peace out.

I'm a pretty confident dude, I think. I'm not like some muscled out buff guy and I don't make millions, but i'm fun and very nice and not a jerk and also not awkward and know how to carry a conversation. I prefer the chick do most of the talking on a date because that's usually what women like to do, but if a girl is acting a little shy, I have no problem filling in empty air for a couple hours. It's second nature to me. One thing I've been told by a lot of women is I'm very easy to to talk to and make them feel extremely comfortable. lol I have no clue if that's a good thing or if i'm just non-threatening cause they don't like me and it's easy to let loose.

But if a chick doesn't dig me, oh well. I used to be upset about it, now it's not a big deal anymore. I know I'm a good guy and deserve a great girl, so if she isn't into me, it's 100% not my fault. I can't make women love me (although i def do try), so I can't blame myself if we don't click.


i'm not sure i'm really talking to anyone here......just kinda into the ether i guess

8/27/2011 9:44:57 AM

I feel pretty much the exact same way. My conclusion has become no matter what a chick claims she wants in a guy it's almost always complete bullshit.

[Edited on August 27, 2011 at 10:28 AM. Reason : .]

8/27/2011 10:27:21 AM

Quote :

"What's wrong with that? Plenty of women use guys for free meals, may as well be at his place of business. Hell he oughta place a targetted ad the match.com website"

D'oh!
why didn't I think of that?!

8/27/2011 10:34:47 AM

Quote :

"What's wrong with that? Plenty of women use guys for free meals, may as well be at his place of business. Hell he oughta place a targetted ad the match.com website"

Because I think there is a difference between a girl going on a few dates for some free meals on her own accord and a restaurant owner orchestrating a scheme where he convinces lonely women/strippers to go on several fake dates so that he can benefit and make more money.

Using women to use men to make money for you. I think that is called being a pimp. Honestly I could care less that he does that, I just found it head scratching the way he nonchalantly posted that as if it were an appropriate way to conduct business.

"Yeah we were slammed tonight, all my strippers landed fake dates and brought them here so business is booming."

8/27/2011 10:35:05 AM

Business is business, dawg.

8/27/2011 10:37:10 AM

All three parties are benefiting.

The guy gets good food, a night out with a nice lady, and potentially gets some ass.

The girl gets free food, a night out with a companion, and potentially gets some ass.

I get business.



This is a win/win/win situation.

8/27/2011 10:40:36 AM

The dude only wins if he gets laid, and doesn't contract a VD. Otherwise he loses and is out $50 or whatever the cost of the meal is.

The chick wins in that she gets a free meal, but in the morning she is still a lonely girl who now feels even more like a used whore. Maybe a short term win in that she doesn't starve, but not really a long term win. It certainly isn't a path that will lead to any long term happiness here.

I guess you win though, congrats. I agree, business is business keep up the good work.

Sounds like I'm in the minority on this one, so I defer to TWW judgement.

[Edited on August 27, 2011 at 10:50 AM. Reason : .]

8/27/2011 10:50:19 AM

Quote :

"Otherwise he loses and is out $50 or whatever the cost of the meal is."

This is only true if you assume he doesn't eat anything. Getting laid is not guaranteed in any date, ever. Not all women are easy. It's the risk you take each and every time you take someone new out on a date.


[Edited on August 27, 2011 at 10:54 AM. Reason : .]

8/27/2011 10:52:39 AM

God damn. The guys is just trolling and you people take him seriously. If you ignore him, he will fly into a window a break his God damned neck.

8/27/2011 10:59:01 AM

I mean if she's a regular at a shop and she knows the owner, then she's probably comfortable there. When an internet guy is all "yo sup gurl u h0ngry" she can be all "yeah let's go grab some pizza/drinks" and go to a place where she's comfortable.

Maybe the owner will know she's single and dating and be able to bail her out from a bad date. He can keep an eye on things and later give her an opinion of the dude (cool, douche, scumbag, w/e). All the while, he's getting extra business. Win/Win for the chick and the owner, and if the guy makes a good impression then he'll come out alright too. If he's a douchebag, then who cares if he lost cash on a meal.

8/27/2011 11:01:29 AM

^yes that! since I'm the owner, I can kick anyone out. I'm decent at reading a girl's face and body language to determine whether she's comfortable or not. I check in often to make sure everything's "okay". Usually the date has to go outside to smoke or go to the bathroom, I can get a quick thumbs up or thumbs down letting me know if everything is okay.

8/27/2011 11:08:04 AM

Yeah it is totally appropriate for a girl who is actively dating and trying to find a guy she likes to end up at an establishment she is comfortable with someone she doesn't know well. I agree.

However, that isn't at all what you said you are doing. You didn't say, "yeah girls come in and they are excited about a first date and I go, "Hey bring the guy here, I'll make it a nice time and if he is a douchebag help you out and keep an eye.""

You are saying, "hey you look lonely/an or are a stripper. Why don't you just go sign up for a random dating website and bring in the first poor sap that bites so you get a free meal, and I make money."

Don't all the sudden flip it like you are somehow a great guy in this situation, trying to be some sort of savior for women if it is a bad first date.

8/27/2011 11:14:05 AM

you're going to kick a guy out because a girl is having a bad date with him?

8/27/2011 11:21:13 AM

Dude, some men are jerks. You wouldn't know because you probably don't date men.

8/27/2011 11:34:15 AM

whats the name of your restaurant, ill be bring some girls by. I really don't think it's that big of a deal

8/27/2011 11:41:46 AM

Quote :

"I have no issues paying for everything on the first date at all, but usually I just meet a girl for drinks on the first date, so it doesn't get that expensive anyways. Also, it's easier that way in case it isn't going so well you can have one or two drinks and peace out. "

exactly!

i always wanted the guy to pick the first date because i expected him to pay. if he wanted to go for smoothies, or coffee, or a drink whatever, i never judged what we did on the first date. some guys went all out, did the whole dinner, comedy show AND brought me a gift. it was all their choice and it never made me like them more or less based on what we did on the first date.

and if the date was going well and we went to dinner for example, i would offer to pay for ice cream or whatever later in the night.

for me, if i like a guy, i will definitely chip in for dates. i wont continue to date someone im not interested in so i wasn't really going on all these dates for free food. i was just tryna find a man.

8/27/2011 11:52:12 AM

Quote :

"some guys went all out, did the whole dinner, comedy show AND brought me a gift. "

The ones who went all out on the first (or maybe second) date, what % did you stick with for more than say a month?

8/27/2011 11:59:22 AM

Quote :

""some guys went all out, did the whole dinner, comedy show AND brought me a gift. ""

She probably didn't have sex with the guys that did this.


She probably slept with the guys that didn't seem interested or guys that knew they could get better...
Am I right?



[Edited on August 27, 2011 at 12:09 PM. Reason : .]

8/27/2011 12:06:10 PM

one thing i don't get is i've messaged several girls and gotten a very good reply (really any reply at all is awesome for me, but they actually sound happy to talk to me) and then I email back and they suddenly disappear and I never hear from them again

Now, I'm pretty sure in almost all cases they have met someone and decided to pursue that instead, and rather than tell the guy that, they just don't respond anymore. It's cool, I get that. But it's a DATING website, right? If I am talking to two chicks at the same time, I will give both a chance to go on a date and then make up my mind. Are these girls really having such awesome first dates with another guy that they just flake on every other dude they're in contact with? I think that's a terrible way to try and meet someone. I would much rather go on 10 different dates and pick one i liked then just pick one date and don't talk to anyone else. What if that person turned out to be weird or it doesn't work out? You've basically forfeited all those other guys. idk, that's just me.


i was dating a girl for a month and still going out on other dates to try and cover all my bases before becoming exclusive w/her. And I mean dates, not hooking up, btw

8/27/2011 12:24:04 PM

Because if things don't work out they will just pick their next favorite on their list and email them back with some excuse like they have been really busy or their subscription expired and they just renewed. If you fall for it great and if not it's onto the next one on the list. Women will avoid any possible contact that will make them seem like a bitch.

8/27/2011 12:48:58 PM