dear walmart socks,
why do you come in a resealable bag?
i just want to wear you, not eat you
bye

9/5/2004 12:49:39 AM

how else would crackheads steal socks and use the bag as a ziplock?

9/5/2004 12:51:05 AM

i always put my socks back in the bag after i use them. it keeps them fresh.

9/5/2004 12:52:20 AM

if i leave my socks out they go bad


start doin drugs n shit... gets ugly

9/5/2004 12:57:10 AM

dear wooden baseball bat,
please don't be corked when i beat people upside the head for talking about socks and not writing letters to other inanimate objects

9/5/2004 12:59:14 AM

dear tdub code,
i look forward to the day you am become alive,
after there have been 1 zillion posts,
and i don't have to talk about you in this thread,
Amen.

9/5/2004 1:00:27 AM

dear tww thread,
the socks thing could have been it's own thread. that's a goldmine.

9/5/2004 1:01:21 AM

Dear table,

Fuck off.

9/5/2004 1:03:20 AM

dear drugs,
say no to shivan.
and say hello to the walmart socks for me.

*end of thread*

9/5/2004 1:09:38 AM

Dear Fart-that-I've-been-holding-back,
Get the fuck out.
Bye.

9/5/2004 9:59:35 AM

Dear Drama,

I've told you time and time again it's not going to work out. Stop trying to get involved with me again.

9/5/2004 10:04:01 AM

Dear Apocalypse's Penis,

Someday you may have a chance to be animated, but I sorta doubt it will be anytime soon. OH SNAP.

Goodluck,
me

9/5/2004 10:09:29 AM

Dear TWW server:

Please stop messing up.

9/5/2004 10:14:36 AM

Dear Car Keys,

Please come out of hiding, or at least give me a clue to where you are. A slight jingle or buzz will suffice.

Your Proud Owner,
Jim

9/5/2004 11:56:13 AM

Dear Lawn,
You are a bitch, and the worst thing about owning a home.
~Me

9/5/2004 12:07:55 PM

dear STFU,
stfu!
love,
matt

9/5/2004 12:09:28 PM

dear flat iron,

thanks for making my hair look so good. everyone thinks my hair is naturally straight but we both know the truth-- we kill the curls every morning

love ya,

wolfy

9/5/2004 12:34:48 PM

Dear AOL computer,

Every 5 minutes you tell me that you've sent me mail. Everytime I check it expecting you to tell me something new and exciting going on in your life. However, when I check your mail it's always some advice on how to increase my sex drive and lengthen my penis. Why do you mock me so? Just because I use you to download porn every night on the weekend doesn't mean that I'm not sexually adequate. Have the post-it notes on the refridgerator been spreading gossip about me again? I know, it was probably the big-screen TV. I know the TV thinks that the only reason I got the 46" model was so that I could watch homemade porn clips of myself and feel adequate, but the truth is that it just makes the fat women more realistic.

It's not that I don't want to talk to you anymore, as I always enjoy your suggestions on cheap pharmaceuticals. Thanks for understanding. Please press OK.

-loginname

9/5/2004 12:36:02 PM

Here's one from Homer Simpson:

Quote :

" Dear Die Hard, You Rock! Especially when that guy was on the roof. P.S. Do you know Mad Max? "

9/5/2004 12:39:56 PM

Dear Chicken Carbonerra Sub from Quiznos,

Thank you for being so tasty. I will continue to buy you on a greater than weekly basis.

Yours Truly,
The Feebs

9/6/2004 2:28:34 AM

Dear BMW motorbike
oh how I hope to obtain you soon
and be able to pay insurance too
for parking will be cheaper this way
and more plentiful too

9/6/2004 2:30:53 AM

Dear BMW blonde,
I hope that one day you become a real girl,
bye

9/6/2004 2:35:51 AM

dear esgargs virginity,
i hope one day you will get lost and never find your way back.

cpac

9/6/2004 2:50:40 AM

Dear my Vibrator,

You give me so much pleasure when the boys aren't around. You sometimes can please me better than any man..thank you soo much

9/6/2004 2:55:17 AM

Dear suspend me's vibrator,
thank you for pleasing her when no other man wants to, or will.

9/6/2004 2:56:06 AM

Dear mr cpac

HI ROOMATE OF THE ROOM IN THE APARTMENT HI

HiWay

9/6/2004 2:56:39 AM

dear mr hiway,

You got Served!

9/6/2004 2:58:48 AM

Dear mr cpac,

Drunked ddr 1st timer owned your 1st time ass!

9/6/2004 3:00:27 AM

/ok

9/6/2004 3:01:30 AM

Dear cpac,

channel 75, C-BAG!!!!!!!

9/6/2004 3:02:25 AM

[X]

9/6/2004 3:07:57 AM

20 bucks says someone post a red x pic

9/6/2004 3:08:18 AM

9/6/2004 3:08:44 AM

^ i win again

9/6/2004 3:10:25 AM

Dear pencil,
I need to leave you a message but I cant find you

9/6/2004 3:12:21 AM

Dear NCSU Tailgate tradition:

I am sorry that two redneck brainless brothers came to you. But don't worry, I am sure as stupid as they are, they will not be represented by real quality lawyers - for example the ones that got O.J. or Kobe off. I hope we have a special injection for both of them. Before then, I trust they will both find special friends in the showers.

9/6/2004 9:10:29 AM

dear ncsu tailgaters:
next time you are asked to join a drunken four-square game, do so.

paul megatron

9/6/2004 9:14:55 AM

Dear desk corner,
Thank you for jutting out just so I can bang my knee against you all day. While your support for my papers and computer are more than helpful, I wish you would consider rounding out and softening your edges for idiots like me.

Thank you,
~A~

Quote :

"dear walmart socks, why do you come in a resealable bag? i just want to wear you, not eat you bye"

OMFG that made me laugh so hard, I have noticed that before and thought the exact same thing. Jonbo was right the socks could have held a thread of their own

9/6/2004 9:42:39 AM

Dear kitchen,
Stop being so lazy and clean yourself up once in a while
I hate it when a bitch lets herself slide

9/6/2004 10:56:27 AM

Dear Bragaw C-Store,

Are you open today, since it's Labor Day?
Couldn't there be something posted on the NCSU Dining Hall website about it???

Sadly,
Emily

9/6/2004 10:58:19 AM

Dear doorknob,
You are so curvy and smooth and shiny. I love turning you and going in and out of the opening you provide. Sometimes I get a rush of cold or warm air when i walk through. I will lather you with oil next week.

-Lewizzle.

9/6/2004 11:06:57 AM

dear computer,
am I good at turning you on?
I just love fingering your keyboard

9/6/2004 11:09:12 AM

dear sword plz to help me die
k?

9/6/2004 11:11:03 AM

Dear bathroom,
Please strip the wallpaper off yourself so I don't have to do it anymore
~Me

9/6/2004 11:11:21 AM

Dear Jeep,

Your A Stupid Piece of Shit.
Why are you dead?
Wake up and Let me Take a Ride.

Still Love You
---Roxy

9/6/2004 11:12:22 AM

dear montero sport,
I know you're mad at me because your gas tank is empty;
but can I still come inside you?
I still love you monte....

your owner,
Jeff

9/6/2004 11:15:47 AM

Dear Windows XP,

Why do you let viruses get on your system,
Why do you let them punk you,
Why don't you just put your head in between your legs?

9/6/2004 11:22:55 AM

dear TWW,

OMG OMG OMG [PAD]

9/6/2004 11:54:10 AM

Dear "Inanimate Objects" thread,

Please get more posts. You make me laugh,but I can not keep bttt-ing you like this.

-Me

9/6/2004 4:09:04 PM

dear discounted cash flow model
please be more interesting
i'm about to tear my own eyes out

9/6/2004 4:10:10 PM