ok... so there's this guy that works with my boyfriend who sort of "carressed" his ass last week. A week or 2 prior to that he made some "bend over and i'll give it to you" comment to him. Last week my boyfriend decided to go to the office and report it (which I'm proud of, cause he would normally just hit first and ask questions later). Well, he was told that the guy was fired, then was told he was suspended for 3 days. Turns out he was only suspended for 1 day. The lady in the office acted like it was no big deal and compared it to the way guys play frootball and joke around. Apparently my boyfriend is not the only guy he has inappropiately touched or made comments to, but this guy is good friends with the man who signs the checks.


Is a one day suspension good enough? Several people have mentioned lawsuits... what do you think would be enough grounds for that? Personally I think that a one day suspension is a little weak and shows that the company doesn't take the complaint seriously... but is enough to cover their asses to say they took action.

2/15/2006 2:06:17 PM

hahaha

2/15/2006 2:11:17 PM

lol

2/15/2006 2:12:17 PM

or your boyfriend could actually stick up for himself (no pun intended) instead of bitching to the company about it.

2/15/2006 2:12:27 PM

youre blowing it out of proportion

[Edited on February 15, 2006 at 2:12 PM. Reason : like a lot of sexual harassment cases]

2/15/2006 2:12:37 PM

WHAT TYPE OF PLACE DOES HE WORK...WHAT INDUSTRY??

I WANNA WORK THERE

[Edited on February 15, 2006 at 2:33 PM. Reason : HOW'S THAT BRYAN!!]

2/15/2006 2:13:02 PM

This is easy. Tell him to go talk to management and tell him you do not feel safe working with someone who touched him. You do not feel it is fair that he was told that the guy was fire then found out he was merely suspended.

Say that he is very bothered by the lack of action. Try to keep it personable but if they won't do anything say that you are prepared to take legal action against this guy and the business if this happens again. Make sure that he defends himself well in the fact that this guy was NOT playing around and touched me in a sexual manner. It's their duty to resolve this and suspension is not adequate.

No sane management would keep someone on that's a threat to their company.

2/15/2006 2:13:14 PM

i think they should treat it the same as if a women was sexually harassed in a similar manner, but then again i think men and women should live under the same policy on registering for the draft, so what do i know?

2/15/2006 2:14:58 PM

Haha, what kind of work does your bf do? Sounds like a fun place to work at. I wish I could "sexually harrass" some hotties in my building and get away with it like that

2/15/2006 2:22:50 PM

The suspension shows some effort to stop the harassment. Now see if it worked. Lawsuits are for democrats in tiny situations like this. If he continues to harass, continue to complain. Then, if all else fails, litigate. Remember that when you litigate, you're suing the company and not the person actually responsible.

Also, if that fat (I'm assuming) bitch told me it was just like playing football, I'd ask her if she'd let me rub off on her and if that was just fine for the workplace as well.

2/15/2006 2:23:12 PM

Quote :

"WHAT TYPE OF PLACE DOES HE WORK...WHAT INDUSTRY??"

Clearly this question was just asked to make sure you could keep doing said harrassing of dudes..

2/15/2006 2:32:17 PM

Quote :

"the way guys play frootball "

2/15/2006 2:38:17 PM

Tell the guy to stop it, and get over it.

2/15/2006 2:55:52 PM

tell him to stop

if he does it again

beat his face in

2/15/2006 3:07:27 PM

^^ the first time (when he made a comment) he warned the guy, the second time (when he actually touched him) he told the company

^ im afraid that will be what happens and then it be all "gay bashing" or something

Quote :

"or your boyfriend could actually stick up for himself (no pun intended) instead of bitching to the company about it."

i'm actually proud he said something to the company... normally he would think with his fists.

Quote :

"youre blowing it out of proportion"

you know at first i was like "haha a guy touched your ass" when he told me about it... but then i thought about it, and it seriously bothers him. i felt kinda ashamed that i downplayed it. if the tables where turned and it were me who got my ass touched by someone at work, i'd be seriously bothered as well and would like to see action taken. just because he's a guy doesn't mean that it's not serious.


oh and he works a a place that builds homes.

2/15/2006 3:13:52 PM

Quote :

"oh and he works a a place that builds homes."

So he is used to working with wood?

Sorry to lose the seriousness...I had to say it though.

2/15/2006 3:16:01 PM

so there are nail guns?

2/15/2006 3:16:30 PM

oh yea. definitely nail guns.... and wood., of course.

2/15/2006 3:23:03 PM

Quote :

"the first time (when he made a comment) he warned the guy, the second time (when he actually touched him) he told the company"

oic

2/15/2006 3:48:28 PM

Quote :

"hit first and ask questions later"

2/15/2006 4:05:38 PM

Look him in the eye and say "dont touch me"

Stare for a second

turn around and walk away.

2/15/2006 4:26:14 PM

Punch the fag, then when you get fired sue the company for placing you in an environment that would cause you to act violent.

2/15/2006 4:46:14 PM

Is 1 day enough? Well it depends on whether he does it again.

2/15/2006 4:49:10 PM

Homophobia from these idiots aside, there's a bunch of underlying issues that need to be addressed:



Has this guy done it before?

Have other people in the workplace complained about the harassment to management before?

Has there been action on the part of management that constituted either verbal or written warning, or active suspension of employment?

If you can answer all of these questions with a "yes" successively, then there are two courses of action that you can take.

The first means operating under the assumption that the company does indeed care about its image in the professional sphere as a place where employees can feel comfortable and can represent themselves without shame in their own field, which would mean that your boyfriend should go one to two levels higher in the Human Resources chain and address the issue with all of the facts readily at hand.

IE:

This employee made advances to me on these dates.

This was the course of action that I was told would be taken by management.

This is the actual course of action that was taken by management.

Here is why I feel uncomfortable with this situation.

There are other employees who share my concern over this employee's behavior.





Keeping that in mind, it's ok for your boyfriend to say what he has seen, but in any sort of investigation like that, his word is not going to be taken as law for anyone else's experience. It's often best to just say "Well, I know 'Tom' also feels uncomfortable, but for reasons of his own that I can't speak for."



The second course of action is to document everything, from the actions that made your boyfriend feel uncomfortable, to the actions taken by management, and then get in touch with a lawyer.

This method, to me, is pretty distasteful, but is highly efficient in terms of mental impact. The only drawback to using this method would be the negative stigma your boyfriend would carry through the next few years of his professional career as a "Harassment Victim."

It's been proven that people who are high-profile whistleblowers (read: people who sue first and ask questions later) in that regard are often passed over for subsequent jobs because they're seen by many hiring staffs as a sort of a liability. "If they complained about harassment once, they're prone to do it again."







I think I've pretty much given the jist of it, but if you've got any specific questions or want some advice, I can probably help out a little more. I -along with a lot of other people- went through a harassment situation last year at my old job, and it was pretty fucking stressful, but I also learned a lot and hate to see it happen to anyone else.

2/15/2006 7:01:54 PM

^
That sounds more on the level of what should be happening. Give it a little while and see if the behavior continues ... if it does and appropriate actions are not taken, take it to the next level. Sucks to go around your immediate boss/HR folks, but it is appropriate in situations in which you feel threatened.

Also, don't risk your job/career over something like this.

2/15/2006 7:27:30 PM

Quote :

"but is enough to cover their asses to say they took action. "

BIG (NO HOMO) for even posting in this thread, but that was a nice pun.


keep up the good humor. also I would have snuffed that fucking fagghet, G. but that's my take on things.

2/15/2006 9:00:27 PM

It's funny today in the newspaper in Dear Abby there was something about a guy getting sexually harassed at work.


DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old male with a problem. I work at a small business with six employees and 12 contracted associates. My problem concerns one of the female associates, "Stella."

Over the past year, Stella has made sexual advances toward me. She asks me to come over and watch movies while her husband is away; she asks for hugs while I'm busy with customers, and shows me her new undergarments. When I told Stella I was uncomfortable with the situation she placed me in, she became upset and accused me of being rude, unprofessional and sexually discriminatory.
I have brought this to the attention of my employer. He says he had a talk with her and that it will stop, but it hasn't. I love my job and don't like being treated this way, yet I feel my only option is to leave. Can you please help? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Leaving is NOT your only option. Document the times, dates and examples of the sexual harassment. Give copies to your boss and explain that the conduct has continued. According to my employment law expert, Nancy Bertrando, if the boss doesn't deal with this, you should file a complaint with the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing. (It is listed in your phone book under Government Agencies.)



[Edited on February 15, 2006 at 9:10 PM. Reason : s]

2/15/2006 9:09:32 PM

thanks kiljadn

i seriously doubt that my boyfriend will do something as drastic as suing... but you know how it goes... something like that happens and everyone around him immediately says sue. i just hooe it doesn't happen again.. and if it does, my boyfriend stays level headed and goes about the situation in a professional manner.

2/16/2006 11:02:11 AM

two words.

nailgun mishap.

2/16/2006 2:14:38 PM

OMG HOMOPHOBE

2/16/2006 2:19:04 PM