really funny story.

Quote :

"Well, guys, we've found it. We've known for years that the lives being led by the stars of professional sports bore no resemblance to our own, but we were lacking absolute proof. Most of our evidence was circumstantial; we heard stories about nightclubs and party boats, saw the expensive cars and the hundreds of thousands of dollars in jewelry being worn with jeans and we figured, "Oh yeah, these guys are living in a different world." WHY MY WIFE THINKS I'M AN IDIOT Mike Greenberg's new book, "Why My Wife Thinks I'm an Idiot: The Life and Times of a Sportscaster Dad" (Villard Books) is available March 7. The book is a wry and revealing look at one man's good-hearted but mistake-prone attempt to grow up before his children do. Marriage, fatherhood, manhood, fame, athletes, crazed aunts with gambling problems, the true significance of sports, the worst possible thing to say in a room full of pregnant women -- no topic is out of reach. But we haven't really had the concrete proof we needed. Until now. God bless Andrei Kirilenko's wife; she has sealed the deal, once and for all. In case you missed what was inarguably the most important sports story of last week (labor, schmabor; we've had work stoppages before) the wife of Utah Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko told ESPN The Magazine that she has given her husband an allowance of one woman per year. She said that because women are forever throwing themselves at him and because things that are forbidden only become more desirable, she has told her husband he may have sex outside their marriage one time per year. "If I know about it," she concluded, "it's not cheating." Wow. Forgive my comparatively inarticulate response, but no other word comes to mind. This woman has just changed the rules, forever. Now, a couple of thoughts. First, I spent several years traveling with an NBA team, and I can personally attest to the fact that women react to these guys as if they were Leo at the opening of "Titanic." The lobbies of the hotels where the teams stay look like the crowd outside the velvet ropes at fancy nightclubs. There are women everywhere -- dressed to go out, tight black dresses, stiletto heels, tons of makeup, hair up high -- and this is at 10 o'clock in the morning. Andrei Kirilenko and his wife, Masha, have a special kind of arrangement. Secondly, NBA players obviously aren't the only guys who have women throwing themselves at them. How about rock stars? Do you think Jerry Hall gave Mick Jagger an allowance? Maybe their arrangement was one woman per day. Or per hour. I don't know. It sort of makes you all the more amazed by Jon Bon Jovi. He has been with his wife since high school, and we've never seen any evidence that he needs an allowance. The first time I interviewed Bon Jovi, I tried to break the ice by saying: "Jon, I feel like I know you. My girlfriend in college had your poster directly over her bed." He didn't bat an eye, replying, "A lot of women had that poster." Which I suppose they did. Millions of them. I can't begin to fathom what it would be like to live like that. Anyway, back to the point. I've always known rock stars lived in fantasy land -- did you ever see the Def Leppard "Behind The Music"? -- but never have I felt so far from an athlete as I do now with Kirilenko. My first reaction was to show the story to my wife. Then I asked what she would say if I suggested a similar plan in our marriage. I really wanted to print her reaction, and if she ever stops laughing, perhaps I will. In the meantime, the most amazing part of the story is Kirilenko's reaction. "Of course it was a surprise," he says, "but I'm not planning on doing anything." He's not planning on doing anything? That's like shanking one off the first tee and turning down a mulligan. I don't ever pass up a mulligan, and the stakes of my golf games are generally pretty tame. This guy is exercising some fairly remarkable self-control. Or maybe he's smarter than we think. Maybe he realizes this is a trap she is setting just to see how he'd respond. Maybe he is passing a test with flying colors and knows it will earn him guilt-free golf for life. Honey, you chose not to sleep with any other women even with permission, thus you may now play golf any time you want for the rest of our marriage and I will never make that face when you come home, no matter how tough a day I've had with the kids. Imagine that. (In fact, ask yourself whether you'd rather have one peccadillo a year or a lifetime of guilt-free golf. I know which way I'd go.)"

3/7/2006 5:10:20 PM

dude

old

you suck

3/7/2006 5:11:23 PM

bitch please.

more people have not heard this story than have.

T-Dub deserves a break from the normal "oh my god, fire herb" and "why Gavin,why"

3/7/2006 5:14:10 PM

anyone who watches sportcenter/pti/ath/local news/oprah or listens to sports radio or reads the sports page has heard this story

[Edited on March 7, 2006 at 5:17 PM. Reason : one]

3/7/2006 5:15:42 PM

for serious

3/7/2006 5:17:20 PM

I just heard about it yesterday when my ESPN the mag showed up and the AK-47 article was in it. I guarantee if he did hook up, it would not be worth it. His wife would hold that shit over him forever.




[Edited on March 7, 2006 at 5:21 PM. Reason : ff]

3/7/2006 5:20:50 PM

3/7/2006 5:25:18 PM

she looks like that woman in MadTV

3/7/2006 5:42:28 PM

^except not as ugly or annoying looking

seriously......best.......idea......ever

3/7/2006 7:23:31 PM

yeah i think it's a novel (as far as i've ever known) and interesting approach to the male dilemma. wonder if it will work.

3/7/2006 7:42:35 PM

goodness, Andrei Kirilenko has the Guile from SFII jaw

3/7/2006 7:59:37 PM

3/7/2006 8:31:19 PM

those russian girls are where its at haha

3/8/2006 8:49:04 AM

i guess all that honoring of vows and commitment crap doesn't matter then...

why the fuck be married?

3/8/2006 11:37:09 AM

yeah right

he will be banging many sluts, and the one he gets caught with will be the "one per year"

3/8/2006 11:48:05 AM

i wonder if she instituted this because she can't be with him all the time or so when he wants to have sex she can say no?

3/8/2006 11:52:01 AM

^^unfortunately that's probably true.

3/8/2006 11:59:16 AM

buyabride.com

3/8/2006 1:21:48 PM

Its pretty easy to not cheat.

Especially when you have millions of dollars.

God there'd be so many cooler things I would indulge in: sweet cars, buying parts and building my own shit etc.

3/8/2006 1:44:58 PM

nah banging foreign chicks is probably right up there with anything else..

3/8/2006 1:50:59 PM

Well to just talk about the other side... lets be honest.. if you know any pros you know that 90% of them will cheat during their career at least once or twice. The ass thrown at you is NUTS.. especially if you are a good player. Eventually many of the "good" players give in. It's called reality. Anything else is a joke and we can delude ourselves but.. unfortunately it is what it is.

Now, we can also take shots at her but how YOU define marriage is not how everyone defines marriage and it is possible for him to cheat with women that won't give him anything. Plus if she gives him an out she may not be looking for the same treatment. Quite frankly, it sounds like some shit she thought would be cool for him. I HIGHLY doubt she would be cool with it if it was in the papers he was bonin LaQueeta.

3/8/2006 3:34:19 PM

Quote :

"those russian girls are where its at haha"

Have you seen them once they're 40+?

3/8/2006 3:44:46 PM

AC Green

3/8/2006 3:45:17 PM

3/8/2006 3:59:29 PM

Dear Jim,

"I will break you!!!"

Sincerely,
AK47

War the "Jungle Karma."

3/9/2006 3:15:39 PM

Quote :

"She said that because women are forever throwing themselves at him and because things that are forbidden only become more desirable, she has told her husband he may have sex outside their marriage one time per year. "

If he's actually sticking to the one woman a year thing, then this is brilliant!

3/9/2006 3:20:01 PM

its more like one woman a week

3/15/2006 8:16:53 AM

Quote :

"those russian girls are where its at haha"

Dude, Russian girls are the most whorish women on earth. They fuck anythig and anyone. As a rule, they will fuck 300-500 guys to get ouf of Russia and to America. Literally fuck anyone they think can help them. Throw your pussy at enough dick, and something will stick.

3/15/2006 8:33:52 AM

^ how much are plane tickets to Moscow this time of year?

3/15/2006 9:23:46 AM

Dude, you will return with a clinger of some sort, be it a russian whore, or a family of crab lice.

3/15/2006 9:30:36 AM

^this was my laugh of the morning....

3/15/2006 9:45:02 AM