Okay this is kind of a strange situation. Let me start off by saying my parents are divorced and have been for awhile.

Anyway, my Mom has dated a few people since the divorce, but she has this habit of dropping everything for her boyfriend du jour. I can give you several examples, but I won't bore you (okay well she retired from her job BECAUSE current boyfriend is retired). But THIS one is too much and I need some perspective from people who aren't involved.

My Mom had this cat, Mittens. It's a cat my mom begged for in the divorce- she got custody of Mittens. So she brought Mittens with her and they lived happily ever after. UNTIL my Mom got this new boyfriend. New boyfriend is RICH, filthy disgusting rich. Lives in a pretty kick butt house with nice stuff. My Mom is super materialistic and so she thinks he is "the one". He just took her on an exotic and very expensive vacation. He feeds right into my Mom's desired way of life. ANYWAY, my Mom has been hinting to me the past few months about ME taking Mittens. Plus she'd make offhanded little comments about how boyfriend did not care for Mittens, thought she would ruin the "stuff" in his house (expensive persian rugs and the like). Aside from the fact that I alredy have two cats of my own, I just could NOT afford to take Mittens. Anyway, all of a sudden (about 2 months ago) Mittens was "not doing well" as my Mom said. She wasn't real specific- was particularly vague when I asked if she took Mittens to the vet, what was the diagnosis etc. So she spent the last two months HINTING about how Mittens was continuing to "not do well".

Anyway, this morning I check my voice mail and the first words out of her mouth were, "I have some sad news about Mittens"---I deleted the message as soon as I heard that. I was so angry at her. So Mittens is dead. I don't want to know when or how- it's the whole PREMISE behind this.

Why is it that everytime she gets this "great new boyfriend" (like I said, she accommodates her lifestyle to whomever she is dating- she essentially liquidates what is cramping her style) that she pulls stuff like this? Any perspective on this because I am baffled!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Edited on March 8, 2006 at 5:07 PM. Reason : .]

[Edited on March 8, 2006 at 5:08 PM. Reason : ,]

3/8/2006 5:06:22 PM

Quote :

"Any perspective on this because I am baffled!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It's pretty obvious - your mother is unwilling to have a life without a man. There's nothing else left to explain.

3/8/2006 5:15:13 PM

i'd prolly hit it if i was drunk enough

3/8/2006 5:16:10 PM

just call her and tell her she is a worthless materialistic whore

or give me her number, i'll do it

3/8/2006 5:19:33 PM

But why can't she see that she does this over and over and over? She accommodates these men.

Nah, I wouldn't say she is unwilling to live without a man. She hasn't dated that many people in the past 10 yrs- like maybe 5. And some of them were short lived- so she is cool with being single. I just don't understand why the "sacrifice"

I mean let's go back to the job- how the hell is she able to retire all of a sudden? Retirement wasn't even a word in her vocab until this guy came along.

[Edited on March 8, 2006 at 5:20 PM. Reason : .]

3/8/2006 5:19:36 PM

You're not my ex-wife, are you?

Sounds like my mother-in-law. She does whatever she wants to do or has to do to make shit like that happen.

Absolutely out of her goddamn mind.

She is the quintessential definition of a goddamn GOLDBRICKER. A WHORE, OF SORTS.

Yeah, maybe I'm feeling a little angst today.

3/8/2006 5:20:58 PM

^x5 pretty much. some women are just like that. they can't handle being alone and will do whatever it takes to not be. all boils down to independence and self esteem.

as far as her pulling the "mittens is sick...oh wait, he's dead." that sucks and reeks of selfishness and immaturity. she could have at least sent it to a no kill shelter or hell, given it to your dad. i'd probably call her out on that one.

as for the whole changing who she is. it is low self esteem. a lot of women drop their own interests and basically become who they date. it is fear of rejection and not being accepted for who they really are. best friend did this. she went from a relatively normal, cool person to a redneck in a period of about a 1year. after they split, she went back to her old self.

[Edited on March 8, 2006 at 5:24 PM. Reason : er]

3/8/2006 5:21:40 PM

3/8/2006 5:24:21 PM

^^^I have to tell you I wasn't surprised when she said it on voice mail. And the TONE she said it in- it was like well you know Mittens wasn't doing well and she was old (she was 15, that's not THAT old in cat years- plus she was an indoor cat)......BULLCRAP. She sniffed like she was crying, but I didn't buy it. She also called at a time that she KNEW that I wouldn't answer my phone so she left it on voice mail.

I'll tell you another reason I am bitter. When they first got divorced and she found a "new man" she treated ME like the red headed stepchild until she drove me away- like I was extra baggage....just like Mittens- she just couldn't be bothered.


[Edited on March 8, 2006 at 5:26 PM. Reason : .]

Quote :

"Absolutely out of her goddamn mind."

you got it

[Edited on March 8, 2006 at 5:27 PM. Reason : .]

3/8/2006 5:25:45 PM

Some women are like that....they try to accomadate their significant other so much that they give up some of themselves.

My aunt did exactly the same thing a few years ago...she met a new man after her divorce, one who didn't like cats, and put down her cat so he wouldn't be bothered. It was really sad b/c it was a sweet cat who anyone could get along with.

3/8/2006 5:33:09 PM

I don't say this often, but that's a pretty fucked up thing to do.

3/8/2006 5:50:10 PM

If your mother had the cat put down because of her relationship with her new boyfriend, that is really messed up. But there are a lot of people in this world who think nothing of disposing of their animals when they not longer fit their lifestyle. I hate it and think that it is dispicable.

But in your mother's defense because I really hope that she didn't have the cat put down:

15 years old is relatively old for even an indoor cat. it's not quite elderly, but it is certainly past its prime. my fiance had a cat who was a perfectly healthy strictly indoor cat for 16 years and then she suffered a series of mini-strokes and passed away. it's possible the kitty's death was legitimate.

3/8/2006 5:57:19 PM

So I just talked to my mom. No diagnosis on cat at all. It wasn't like "oh she was acting weird" or anything. I said "so what was wrong with her? What did the vet say?" Her response was "I don't know- just that she was old" I said how did you know something was wrong with her? She said "She felt heavy" WHAT? She said the vet told her to put her down. Right.

Oh and our conversation ended with her saying "Oh for the next 5 days I'll be at Ed's (said boyfriend) house so you might not be able to reach me. At least I won't have to rush home to Mittens"

Nice.

Quote :

"But there are a lot of people in this world who think nothing of disposing of their animals when they not longer fit their lifestyle. I hate it and think that it is despicable."

I agree totally.

It has less to do with the cat and more to do with my mother sacrificing things she likes for some stupid guy. Yah I liked the cat, she was cool. But I am more bothered by this pattern of "convenience" my mother has established.

Sigh.

3/8/2006 8:16:08 PM

Quote :

"she was 15, that's not THAT old in cat years- plus she was an indoor cat"

actually, that is kinda old

maybe the cat wasn't doing well

make sure you know for sure that the cat was really fine before calling your mom out

3/8/2006 8:32:23 PM

I personally think it's time to go shit on mom's doorstep.

3/8/2006 9:03:47 PM

This actually sounds a lot like my mom.

3/8/2006 9:32:15 PM

Well I decided for the time being I will let it go. First, of all I am too angry right now to be rational- if I bring it up to her I'll say something I don' t really mean and add in all sorts of irrelevant arguments.

For the time being I'll just add it to the mental list of "weird crap my mom has done"

I'm just sad that Mittens had to be victimized because of my mother's selfishness.

Rest in peace Mittens, rest in peace.

3/8/2006 9:35:49 PM

Quote :

"I personally think it's time to go shit in a bag, set it on fire, and place it on on mom's doorstep."

3/8/2006 9:39:25 PM

this is quickly turning into a chit chat thread

3/8/2006 9:45:55 PM

Nooo...chit chat is for when you're not serious. I'm pretty damn serious. I would like to have a case of diarrheal shits so I could splatter it under the bitch's door...or maybe through the mail slot if there is one.

3/9/2006 12:54:25 AM

plz post pics of your mom

k thanks

3/9/2006 1:23:23 AM

bitch
I'd put down the bf before I put down any cat

3/9/2006 2:25:32 AM

cats fucking suck.


i know, i have 2 of them.


anyone want a cat?

3/9/2006 2:28:32 AM

not worth your time.

go off, disconnect yourself from her (like I hope your dad had enough sense to do) and have a great life. put it all behind you.

3/9/2006 3:18:46 AM

SHELL TRY TO KILL YOU NEXT

LEAVE HER A VOICEMAIL:

"DONT COME NEAR ME YOU MURDERING, GOLDIGGING WHORE!"

THAT SHOULD SORT IT OUT

3/9/2006 8:00:15 AM

Quote :

"he hasn't dated that many people in the past 10 yrs- like maybe 5"

that is 1 every 2 years maybe your father did the right thing when he divorced her... seems she can't keep a man

3/9/2006 8:15:03 AM

This actually sounds a lot like my mom.

3/9/2006 8:35:47 AM

Quote :

"hat is 1 every 2 years maybe your father did the right thing when he divorced her... seems she can't keep a man"

actually you bring up a good point here- she divorced him and SHE is the one that usually dumps the boyfriend, not the other way around. It's like she has a problem with committment (I never spell that word right)- she doesnt want to be tied down.

Thanks guys- it brings me such comfort to know that I am not the only one with a weird mom- really, sometimes I feel all alone with this!!

3/9/2006 8:54:30 AM

I dare you to give her a new cat and be like "well since you were crying on the voicemail, i got this cat for you"

that'd be more cruel to the cat than her though.

3/9/2006 9:14:09 AM

shit yeah find a new cat that looks just like mittens. that would rock.

3/9/2006 9:23:52 AM

get her one of those free cats they have on the side of the road.

3/9/2006 4:20:32 PM

dude

not cool

3/9/2006 4:37:02 PM

if this was chit chat I would say post the free cat pic. but its not chit chat

3/9/2006 4:52:55 PM

i mean, it is just a cat. a 15 year old cat at that, which is pretty damn old. its kind of fucked up, but its not as big of a deal as you make it out to be. not to worry, your mom will feel like shit when her and the boy toy break up and she is alone again.

3/9/2006 4:58:00 PM

^Again it's not the cat, it's the premise behind this.

3/9/2006 5:18:30 PM

what is it with unmarried women and cats....

3/10/2006 7:19:50 AM

Quote :

""I personally think it's time to go shit in a bag, set it on fire, and place it on on mom's Ed's doorstep.""

3/10/2006 1:34:45 PM

your mom doesnt know how to be independent and by herself

she also has no confidence or self esteem

as well as similair issues i have experienced before from my own parents

she needs tough love

3/10/2006 1:57:35 PM