I have this cocky tarheel guy at my summer job and i need some good comebacks

6/8/2006 9:48:48 AM

http://brentroad.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=389308&page=1

6/8/2006 9:55:03 AM

no good

6/8/2006 10:02:19 AM

How do you seperate the men from the boys at UNC?

>>>With a crobar

6/8/2006 10:07:07 AM

How do you fit 4 carolina guys on one barstool?

turn it upside down

6/8/2006 10:17:55 AM

6/8/2006 10:23:58 AM

Q: How many UNC-Chapel Hill students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him.




It was graduation day at UNC, and the professors were giving out the degrees. The crowd started chanting Bubba, Bubba, Bubba!
The president of the University asked, "Who's Bubba?"
"Bubba is a guy who's been at the University for twenty years, and hasn't graduated.
The professor called Bubba up and told him that if he can answer one question, he would graduate. He asked him, "What is 4+4?"
"8," Bubba said.
"Boo!" the crowd roared. "Give him another chance, give him another chance!"

6/8/2006 10:32:09 AM

that last one was very cute

6/8/2006 10:33:33 AM

Q: How many Carolina freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a sophomore course.


Q: Why did the Tar Heel cross the road?
A: Who cares, what's he doing out of jail?

Q: What do you call a Tar Heel with half a brain?
A: Gifted

When I was in high school, a friend of mine traveled to Raleigh, North Carolina for a public speaking competition. He delivered the speech of his life, and was fortunate to squeak out a victory. His prize was a $50 savings bond and plaque. The runner-up got a four-year scholarship to UNC.

6/8/2006 10:33:47 AM

what do you get when you mix a turrist, a rented Jeep Grand Cherokee, and The Pit at UNC?

6/8/2006 11:49:02 AM

whats the difference between a state and carolina fan






























































state fans only act gay, where as carolina fans ARE gay

6/8/2006 11:51:03 AM

there should be a lot more jokes here by now

6/8/2006 1:50:08 PM

Hey, you've seen our campus right? And all the bricks? Yeah, I figured it out - the state gives us one brick for every hetero-sexually challenged student accepted to UNC. Which would you rather have?

And you know "Carolina Blue" is just past tense for "Carolina Blows", right?

[Edited on June 8, 2006 at 2:17 PM. Reason : .]

6/8/2006 2:16:27 PM

What's the only sign of intelligence in chapel hill?

Raleigh - 25 miles



Why doesn't chapel hill celebrate christmas?

They can't find a virgin and 3 wise men

6/8/2006 7:54:54 PM

carolina is full of rednecks! BURN

6/8/2006 8:05:08 PM

Four dapper looking gentlemen walk into a bar.

UNC sucks.

6/8/2006 8:07:51 PM

ahahah, we have a winner

6/8/2006 9:14:29 PM

Q: How many guys from Carolina does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 2, but they have to be really small.


Get it!

6/8/2006 9:36:24 PM

How do you get the carolina grad off of your doorstep?

Pay for the pizza

6/8/2006 11:07:18 PM

your mom goes to unc..

6/8/2006 11:09:15 PM

After his last season Coach Matt called the team together and asked them to be pallbearers when he died....
He wanted them to let him down one last time

Did you hear that Coach Matt is dressing only 7 players for the ACC this year? The rest can dress themselves.

What has Matt Doherty done in one year that Mack Brown couldn't do in 10? Turn UNC into a football school.



Did you hear that Nike is coming out with a new shoe in March called "The Final Four?" The special feature has no Heels.



Did you hear they were going to change the UNC mascot from a ram to a possum? It's because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.



How many UNC grads work for the Psychic Network? None. They can't talk about the future...they only talk about the past.



Can you name the one good use for a UNC diploma? By placing it in the windshield of your car you are eligible for handicapped parking.



What does a Carolina graduate say to a Duke graduate?
Would you like fries with that?



What do you call 30 Carolina fans in a basement?......... A whine cellar.



What is the difference between a UNC fan and a three-week-old puppy?
-Eventually the puppy will stop whining




Googled UNC Jokes

6/8/2006 11:12:13 PM

^ Those are fing great... they actually relate to the school unlike all the others that you can substitute any other school into. Except for teh ghey ones of course..

6/8/2006 11:17:53 PM

those are pretty good

6/9/2006 2:33:29 AM

what does a unc girl do first thing in the morning??

walks back home.

6/9/2006 3:46:45 AM

what did the Physician from UNC say to the Physician from NC State?

... oh, uh, wait. scratch that.

6/9/2006 4:28:54 AM

what do you call a wolfwebber thats obsessed with carolina

































a faggot

6/9/2006 4:53:09 AM

A former UNC Graduate noticed one day that he heard the UNC fight song coming from a cow he had just bought.. He listen and heard the UNC fight song. The UNC Grad walked to the side of the cow and heard it louder then he walked to the cows rear and heard it even louder. He called his vet and asked him to come listen to his cow. The vet got to the house and listened to the strange sound coming from the cows rear and said he will be alright. The owner said isn't this real strange to hear that coming from a cow?
The vet said he was a 3rd generation NC State Vet and that he had heard the UNC fight song coming from ass holes his whole life.

6/9/2006 8:48:44 AM

Quote :

"How many UNC grads NC State Undergrads work for the Psychic Network? None. They can't talk about the future...they only talk about the past."

[Edited on June 9, 2006 at 8:57 AM. Reason : Format]

6/9/2006 8:56:18 AM

Quote :

"whats the difference between a state and carolina fan state fans only act gay, where as carolina fans ARE gay "

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

6/9/2006 9:24:43 AM

Quote :

"How many UNC grads work for the Psychic Network? None. They can't talk about the future...they only talk about the past. "

wouldn't that be a NC State joke??

6/9/2006 10:09:23 AM

Quote :

"what did the Physician Vet from UNC say to the Physician Vet from NC State?"

Oh wait.....see I can do it too. Feel free to substitute engineer as well.

6/9/2006 1:30:42 PM

what do you call a wolfwebber with 57.1 posts per day?
























a faggot

6/9/2006 1:52:08 PM

What is the only thing a UNC graduate says to a NCSU engineering graduate?
"Paper or plastic"?


What do you call UNC students doing a 50 yard dash down a 48 yard 3rd floor dorm room hall?
A good start

What does Hannibal Lector call UNC students walking around Harrellson?
Fruit Loops.

What do you call a UNC student with VD?
ummm... a UNC student.

What do you call a terrorist attack on UNC?
Friendly fire.

[Edited on June 9, 2006 at 5:34 PM. Reason : ]

6/9/2006 5:32:30 PM

[Edited on June 9, 2006 at 5:34 PM. Reason : double tap]

6/9/2006 5:34:02 PM

YOU FUCKED IT UP, JESUS....

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A STATE FAN AND A CAROLINA FAN???

































THEY BOTH DONT GO TO CAROLINA

6/9/2006 5:37:06 PM

^^^^way to ride my coattails douche

i bet you are one of those wolfweb fags thats obsessed with carolina or some shit

[Edited on June 9, 2006 at 5:38 PM. Reason : .]

[Edited on June 9, 2006 at 5:38 PM. Reason : ^HOW THE FUCK DO I FUCK UP SOMETHING I CREATED OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD SMARTASS]

6/9/2006 5:37:52 PM

because you fucked it up

6/9/2006 5:39:22 PM

6/9/2006 6:50:06 PM

better to have agriculture than no culture at all.

6/10/2006 1:53:18 AM

there ya go

Quote :

"WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A STATE FAN AND A CAROLINA FAN??? THEY BOTH DONT GO TO CAROLINA"

6/10/2006 2:03:38 AM

carolina blue. Just look at the color and laugh.

6/10/2006 9:42:30 AM

Quote :

"Did you hear that Nike is coming out with a new shoe in March called "The Final Four?" The special feature has no Heels."

??????????


Most of these jokes are interchangeable with (insert school here). Esp. ones about light bulbs, wise men, pizza man, etc.


What's the difference between the dean dome and a porcupine. The porcupine has 21,000 pricks on the outside

6/10/2006 10:03:14 AM

How do you get a Carolina grad off your front porch?







Pay him for the pizza.

6/10/2006 5:10:56 PM

How do you get Carolina fans out of your backyard?




Paint it like an endzone.

6/10/2006 5:12:01 PM

For every brick at State there's a fag at carolina.

I have always liked that one

6/11/2006 10:39:28 AM

why doesnt the unc football program have a website?

They cant put up three w's in a row

6/11/2006 1:46:09 PM

An Irishman UNC Alum was drinking at the pub all night.

The bartender came up to him and told him that the bar was closing. So he stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. So he figured he'd just crawl outside. Once outside he stood up and fell again right on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrived at the door he tried one more time with the same results. Exhausted, he then gave up and started crawling to the bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright but he quickly fell right into the bed and fell sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The next morning, he woke up with his wife husband standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!" "What makes you say that?" He asked as he put on an innocent look. "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."




[Edited on June 11, 2006 at 2:01 PM. Reason : I edited it, now it should be UNC joke worthy]

6/11/2006 2:00:21 PM

Dean Smith dies and goes to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter says "since you have lived a good life, you get to have your very own house in Heaven. You should be grateful, since few people own a house up here."

So Dean Smith gets a nice little cottage by the sea, and of course decorates it with big UNC flags and banners. One day he's walking around and sees and enormous mansion! I mean, this place has the works - a fountain, garden, marble pillars, gilded statues. And it's all decorated with NC State paraphanalia! Well Dean Smith goes to Saint Peter and says, "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but why does Jim Valvano get such a bigger place than me?" Saint Peter responds, "oh Jimmy V doesn't live there, that's God's house!"

6/11/2006 2:16:58 PM

What did the UNC student say to the other UNC student?

OMG WE ARE TEH FAGOATS!!1@

6/11/2006 2:45:26 PM

How do you get from Raleigh to Chapel-Hill?






West till you smell it, North till you step in it.

6/11/2006 8:45:04 PM