I will start us off:

http://www.itv.com/news/world_deee045968e23f492d904846cb1b5b16.html

Quote :

"A teenage girl has been savaged by a rare tiger in a zoo after climbing two fences and sticking her arm into its enclosure. "

... and ...

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=local&id=4343083

Quote :

"Police say a Chicago-area teen is in critical condition after shooting himself in the groin while trying to holster a gun in his pants. The 19-year-old, who has not been identified, was taken to an Oak Lawn hospital for treatment after the shooting early yesterday. A police spokesman says it appears that the man pulled the trigger while tucking the gun in his pants."

... and ...

http://www.todaystmj4.com/_content/news/topstories/story_3411.asp

Quote :

"A 19-year-old Milwaukee man died performing a dangerous stunt at a party. Andrew Flick was electrocuted after reaching off a fourth floor balcony to touch a power line. Police say Flick was with some friends at an east side apartment building near Farwell and Ogden. Witnesses at the party said Flick wrapped his legs around the balcony's banister and reached out to touch the electrical wires."

... and ...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/wyff/20060708/lo_wyff/9484796

Quote :

"A man, who investigators said was trying to steal copper wire, was electrocuted inside a Duke Power substation on Friday. Greenville County Deputy Coroner Ken Coppins said that the man died from coming in contact with electrical equipment carrying 7,200 volts of electricity."

... AND ...

http://www.boston.com/news/local/rhode_island/articles/2006/07/08/providence_man_dies_after_fireworks_accident/

Quote :

"Andre Costa died at Rhode Island Hospital early Friday morning, a hospital spokeswoman said. He was injured July 4 while lighting fireworks near his home, according to Providence Police Detective John Coughlin. One of the explosives didn't ignite as expected, police said. When Costa leaned closer to see why, the device exploded near his face. He wasn't conscious or breathing when rescuers arrived."

More to follow ... and please contribute.

7/12/2006 9:55:58 AM

Quote :

"One of the explosives didn't ignite as expected, police said. When Costa leaned closer to see why, the device exploded near his face. He wasn't conscious or breathing when rescuers arrived."

The old Wile E. Coyote maneuver. Classic.

7/12/2006 10:00:41 AM

I don't understand... I thought exploding near your face just causes your face to turn black and your hair to stand straight up, or in the case of you being a duck, causes your beak to spin around?

7/12/2006 10:12:33 AM

If you fuck around recklessly with electricity, yea you deserve it.

7/12/2006 10:15:58 AM

never mind

[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 10:27 AM. Reason : I can't seem to embed a video today]

7/12/2006 10:18:50 AM

Quote :

"I don't understand... I thought exploding near your face just causes your face to turn black and your hair to stand straight up, or in the case of you being a duck, causes your beak to spin around?"

hahaha, exactly what I thought

good thread

7/12/2006 10:31:41 AM

Doesn't say much about the teenaged girl climbing fences when that 2 year old did the same thing with the bears. Dumbass.

7/12/2006 1:25:43 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060712/ap_on_re_mi_ea/lebanon_israel_clash_20;_ylt=As9IQGZVIswTuXCHTjuss2cUvioA;_ylu=X3oDMTBiMW04NW9mBHNlYwMlJVRPUCUl

Quote :

"Hezbollah militants crossed into Israel on Wednesday and captured two Israeli soldiers. Israel responded in southern Lebanon with warplanes, tanks and gunboats, and said seven of its soldiers had been killed in the violence. Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert called the soldiers' capture "an act of war," and his Cabinet prepared to approve more military action in Lebanon — a second front in the fight against Islamic militants by Israel, which already is waging an operation to free a captured soldier in the Gaza Strip."

7/12/2006 1:27:31 PM

^ plz use: http://www.tinyurl.com !!

Quote :

"Doesn't say much about the teenaged girl climbing fences when that 2 year old did the same thing with the bears. Dumbass."

I am just glad they didn't put down the tigers afterwards. I would be pissed if so.

[Edited on July 12, 2006 at 7:14 PM. Reason : tiny]

7/12/2006 7:13:47 PM

This seems fishy to me:

http://www.wftv.com/news/9516519/detail.html

Quote :

"OCALA, Fla. -- An Ocala woman who got trapped in a car wash remained hospitalized Friday. Police said the woman was working at Soapy's Car Wash on Thursday when she got tangled in a water hose. She was then pulled into a spinning brush that trapped her leg. Another employee shut off the equipment and called for help. The woman, who has not been identified, was taken to the hospital in critical condition. An investigation is underway."

7/14/2006 10:18:36 AM

A slightly different kind of self-PWNT:

http://www.busrep.co.za/index.php?fSectionId=565&fArticleId=3339471

Quote :

"London - The tearaway who won almost £10 million (R132 million, $18.3 million) on the lottery has been forced to borrow money after blowing his fortune. Michael Carroll has had to take out a £130 000 mortgage on his £245 000 home in Norfolk. The 23-year-old Carroll, who is struggling to fund his drug-fuelled parties, also wants a £120 000 loan on a house he rents out. Carroll's coffers have emptied with astonishing speed since he won the lottery four years ago. In February, the former dustman admitted he had just £1.65 million left after lavishing several million pounds on family and friends and more than £1 million on drugs. He has also spent a small fortune on his trademark chunky gold jewellery and a fleet of cars."

Oh well.

Next!

7/17/2006 11:14:01 AM

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/10/28/60minutes/main990617.shtml

7/17/2006 11:26:22 AM

^ not sure about that one...

http://www.local6.com/news/9524656/detail.html

This one is a little odd.

7/17/2006 12:55:19 PM

http://www.lebanese.com

http://www.palestinians.org

http://www.jews.biz

[Edited on July 17, 2006 at 1:03 PM. Reason : .]

7/17/2006 1:02:44 PM

http://www.thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=420391

7/17/2006 1:04:10 PM

This story is more heart-warming in a sick sortof way:

http://www.philly.com/mld/dailynews/15055113.htm

Quote :

"A quick-thinking patron, Thomas Santana, 66, then grabbed the gunman around his legs from behind - in a "bear hug" - as he stood on the freezer with his back to the customers, said Matthews. Gomez came from behind the counter and helped Santana, 5-foot-4, wrestle the 6-foot-1 gunman to the floor, said Matthews. Startled, the gunman fired two wild shots, shooting himself once in the head - the bullet entered and exited his head. Still, he wouldn't give up his gun, Matthews said. So, Santana grabbed a nearby jar of Mott's applesauce off a shelf and slugged him four times in the head. "Finally, the guy passes out," said Matthews. "There's blood everywhere - on the floor, all over." Meantime, the 15-year-old girl and her cousin had fled to the kitchen with another man and woman and closed the door. "I started crying and praying and stuff," the girl said."

Full story at the link.

7/18/2006 10:48:12 AM

http://www.local6.com/firstnews/9546222/detail.html

Quote :

"A student at the University of Central Florida is accused of setting a fire on campus as a way to meet women, according to a Local 6 News report. Police said Matthew Damsky admitted to lighting a couch on fire at the Academic Village Dorms last week. Damsky told officers he hoped he would be able to meet women as the building was being evacuated. He was arrested for arson and booked in to the Orange County Jail."

7/20/2006 10:28:47 AM

wait wait, dont tell me guys...


didn't darwin have a theory on this......


something about.. survival and fittest....

7/22/2006 4:12:13 PM

^ Yes.

Not all of these stories involve loss of life - but they do include loss of freedom, limbs and other appendages.

Our newest focus lost his penis:

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2006/07/21/1153166555650.html

Quote :

"While heavily under the influence of alcohol, the 30-year-old made a bet with his friend for 1000 lats ($2360) that he would cut off his penis, according to a Latvian public television report."

[Edited on July 22, 2006 at 4:25 PM. Reason : err]

7/22/2006 4:24:46 PM

http://www.darwinawards.com/

7/23/2006 8:23:01 AM

A couple of years ago, in my hometown, some preteens were standing on an overpass throwing rocks at cars as they drove under the overpass. Later, when they were leaving, they crossed over train tracks and were hit by a train.

7/23/2006 9:44:18 PM

I'm waiting on Tony Stewart to get his and get knocked all the way down to racing on used tires.

7/23/2006 10:09:20 PM

Quote :

"A couple of years ago, in my hometown, some preteens were standing on an overpass throwing rocks at cars as they drove under the overpass. Later, when they were leaving, they crossed over train tracks and were hit by a train."

thats nice to hear

7/23/2006 10:16:41 PM

I have been too busy to post but I am trying to catch back up.

Anyway, we have more stupid people:

http://www.wftv.com/news/9567845/detail.html

Quote :

"An undercover sting inside the Orange County sheriff's headquarters found a department employee had more than 1,300 images of porn on his work computer. Eyewitness News found out he's the son of a sheriff's office commander who was trying to develop a career in law enforcement and this wasn't the first time he broke department rules."

Oops.


http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/07/28/1153816348320.html

Quote :

"Three escapees from a western NSW correctional centre managed to effect their own recapture yesterday, when they inadvertently flagged down an undercover police car for a ride. They also aided in their own recapture by still wearing parts of their green prison uniforms, which helped the officer in the undercover car, already alerted to their presence in the area, to identify them."

Link has pics and more details.

And check out this douchebag:

http://toronto.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20060726/short_bail_060726/20060726?hub=TorontoHome

Quote :

"A man released on bail Monday found himself back in custody just minutes later after allegedly re-offending before leaving the courthouse."

Link also has pic of the jackass.

Here is a brilliant idea:

http://2worksforyou.com/news/stories/brothersarrested.shtml

These guys make jokes about cops WHILE THEY HAVE STOLEN STUFF.

And there are not just stupid people ... but stupid groups of people:

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/9583485/detail.html

Quote :

"A billboard company has covered a sign advertising the Web site for Ohio license plates. The problem was the ad got put up about a week and a half ago along a road in Michigan, two miles from the state line. A spokesman for the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles said the billboard company it hired to post the signs around the Toledo area made a mistake."

This link has an MP3 of the actual 911 call:

http://www.phoenix360.com/news/index.asp?did=28556

I will summarize with:

Quote :

"Here's a snippet of the conversation Caller: Do you have any information about the blackout? Dispatch: No, I don't. Do you have an emergency, though? Caller: Yeah, I couldn't watch Jay Leno."

They weren't the only one:

Quote :

"Dispatchers received 441 9-1-1 calls and 901 non-emergency calls totaling 1,342 calls Tuesday night between 9 p.m. and 2 a.m."

More later.

7/28/2006 9:06:30 AM

7/28/2006 1:29:37 PM

ahahaha, great thread

7/28/2006 1:34:08 PM

keep 'em coming

7/28/2006 6:33:21 PM

Quote :

"WESTLAKE, Ohio (AP) -- A bar waitress checking to see if a customer was legally old enough to drink looked down to see a familiar photo. It was her own. The 22-year-old waitress, whose name was not released, called police last week and said she had been handed her own stolen driver's license by a woman trying to prove she was 21. The woman, who became suspicious of the delay as the waitress went to call police, fled the Moosehead Saloon, but her companion provided her name. Maria Bergan, 23, of Lakewood, was charged Sunday night with identity theft and receiving stolen property. She was arrested at her home in suburban Cleveland."

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/08/01/bar.id.ap/index.html

8/1/2006 5:17:39 PM

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20004677-1702,00.html

Quote :

"A BRISBANE woman who allegedly drove a car onto a railway line, honking her horn at a train in front of her, has been charged with dangerous driving."

http://dwb.heraldonline.com/24hour/weird/story/3342183p-12306746c.html

Quote :

"LACEY'S SPRING, Ala. (AP) - A robbery suspect gave authorities a bit of help when he fled the scene of a noon holdup at People's Bank of North Alabama: He left his personal bankbook."

http://www.nbc13.com/news/9612472/detail.html

Quote :

"BIRMINGHAM, Ala. -- A Birmingham home was damaged after a man accidentally sparked a blaze while starting his van. The driver said he poured gasoline on the van’s carburetor in an effort to start it up. When the van turned over, sparks flew, destroying the vehicle and one room of the 16th Avenue North home."

http://www.wtsp.com/news/local/article.aspx?storyid=36615

Quote :

"Bayonet Point, Florida — A 73-year-old man was looking at his .25 caliber handgun Tuesday night when it went off, shooting him in the forehead, Pasco County Sheriff's Deputies said."

Enjoy.

8/3/2006 1:00:12 PM

http://www.wral.com/sports/9627542/detail.html

Quote :

"ELKHART LAKE, Wis. -- Champ Car driver Cristiano da Matta needed surgery to remove a ruptured blood vessel in his head after his race car collided with a deer that wandered onto the track during a test session at Road America on Thursday."

8/4/2006 10:28:43 AM

http://www.darwinawards.com/

and chit chat

8/4/2006 10:34:14 AM

^^ because he was trying so hard to hit that deer..

8/4/2006 12:19:29 PM

^^^ you lose

8/4/2006 1:41:34 PM

^^^^how the fuck is that "getting what he deserves?"

8/4/2006 1:48:18 PM

That carwash story is gold, just gold

8/4/2006 2:04:48 PM

possibly the best thread ever

8/4/2006 2:10:46 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060804/ap_on_fe_st/toilet_seat_injury;_ylt=Aju71cE7W3bxin5Ke_QFwJCs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3ODdxdHBhBHNlYwM5NjQ-

8/4/2006 3:09:39 PM

http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/fatal_l_i__stunt_regionalnews_kieran_crowley.htm

Quote :

" Suffolk cops said Joseph Cooper, 22, of Islandia, was hanging out the open front door of a car driven by friend Matthew Nowicki, 22, at 1:35 a.m. Thursday on Sunrise Highway in Oakdale. Cooper fell into the eastbound lanes and was struck and killed by a Chevrolet Monte Carlo driven by Kenneth Nuendorf, 49."

Well, now that I know hanging out of a moving car can be fatal I will avoid this activity in the future.

8/7/2006 1:06:38 PM

http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=vn20060808135555899C244699

Quote :

"In their last two-and-a-half minutes, the pilots who flew former Proteas captain Hansie Cronje home, ignored at least 13 warnings that there was an obstacle in their way. After the 13th warning, pilots Willie Meyer and Ian Noakes flew into the mountains at 214km/h."

And

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?storyid=2006-08-09T113629Z_01_N08275921_RTRUKOC_0_US-BRAZIL-GRENADE.xml

Quote :

"A Brazilian man died Tuesday when he tried to open what police believe was a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer in a mechanical workshop on the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro."

Here is a fun one:

http://www.startribune.com/462/story/602194.html

Quote :

"MOORHEAD, Minn. — An 18-year-old has pleaded guilty to animal cruelty for a videotaped incident in which he and two friends lit a turtle on fire and danced around it. Joel Charles Ross of Hawley admitted they set the large snapping turtle on fire. He said they did it not once, but twice, and dressed up differently because they wanted to make their video "more funny and exciting.'' "I put the gas on the turtle and made a trail, and one of my friends ignited it with a lighter,'' he said. The video was posted online. Ross was arrested after a police officer received it in an e-mail."

More dumb kids ... this one wastes no time:

http://www.11alive.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=83052

Quote :

"FAYETTEVILLE, Ga. (AP) -- A Fayette County high school senior was arrested on the first day of school after guns and other weapons were found in his car."

8/9/2006 2:26:37 PM

Got a few new ones in. There is no shortage of stupid in case you were worried.

http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_90661.asp

Quote :

"The Arkansas Game and Fish Commission says two Arkansas wildlife officers have been demoted after they were found to have been hunting without licenses in Tennessee."

and

http://www.wave3.com/global/story.asp?s=5260088

Quote :

"(NITRO, W.Va.) -- Nitro, West Virginia police had a bizarre drug bust last night while working a traffic stop. Police say a Nitro man handed one of the officers a small bag of marijuana and told them he allegedly bought it the night before and didn't need it. Lieutenant Joe Savilla says they issued 50-year-old Dennis Fields a possession citation and he left. Less than two hours later, Savilla says Fields arrived at Nitro police headquarters with two more bags of marijuana to hand over. Savilla says he then arrested Fields for public intoxication after he allegedly registered a point-two-five-five blood-alcohol level. Fields was also given two more drug citations. Officers then took Fields to a detoxification center. Savilla says it was one of the stupidest things he's seen in 19 years."

Note that this was only "one of the stupidest"

and speaking of the police HQ ... this guy had no problem comitting a crime there:

http://www.sungazette.net/articles/2006/08/10/arlington/news/nws890.txt

Quote :

"On Aug. 7 at 5:15 p.m., a woman was standing in the information line of the Arlington County Police Department headquarters in the 1400 block of North Courthouse Road when she heard a “jingle” of keys, and turned to find that a man standing next to her had removed keys and some cash from her purse. <SNIP> A warrant was obtained for a 23-year-old District Heights, Md., man, who subsequently was arrested in Arlington and held on $2,500 bond."

But I saved the best for last. This next story is just too good:

http://www.al.com/enter/index.ssf?/newsflash/regional/index.ssf%3f/base/news-23/1155237259177050.xml&storylist=alabamanews

Quote :

"DECATUR, Ala. (AP) — A cigarette butt casually tossed to the ground sparked a daylong argument between four neighbors that escalated into a fight that sent at least three of them to the hospital and got them all arrested. "It's sad that people were injured over a cigarette butt," Lt. Chris Mathews, spokesman for the Decatur Police Department, said Thursday."

The article contains the full story. Be sure to scroll down past the ad in the middle because the story continues.

Enjoy, more later undoubtedly.

[Edited on August 11, 2006 at 11:14 AM. Reason : err]

8/11/2006 11:11:17 AM

8/11/2006 10:49:28 PM

this thread is hilarious!

8/11/2006 10:55:04 PM

^^ HAHA. GG!

8/13/2006 11:58:49 AM

Alright guys, this story is a little bit different and slightly more subtle but certainly still on point:

Quote :

"When Juan Rodriguez collected an $8.9 million lump sum from the state lottery in February 2000, he envisioned a leisurely life in a nice house. Six years later, he lives in the same mobile home in Jourdanton, where he discourages visitors."

Full story:

http://chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/4114610.html

I like this one: (Ol' fashion ass-whoopin'!)

Quote :

"A bumbling robber looking for revenge barged into a home with a BB gun but got tackled and beat up by stunned residents -- and then realized he had stormed the wrong house, authorities said. Stephen R. Weidman, 21, told investigators that he had recently been robbed and he wanted to return the favor — but he screwed it up, got the wrong house and was easily subdued by the surprised residents, according to police."

http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060814/BREAKING02/60814009&sh_start=1

In this next story ... you would think people would be a little more careful about something like this... but no ...

Quote :

"A bust agents say is one of the largest drug seizures in years. It happened Sunday morning in the 4200 block of West Valencia Road. Deputies say they stumbled across the stash house after the smell of pot led them to a hidden room. <snip> Deputy Gomez and another deputy was patrolling the southwest side for something else, but came to this house after smelling marijuana through the building. "You could smell it from outside, it was emanating through the walls," said Gomez. The smell was so potent; it leads detectives into a back room. When they pulled back a wall, it revealed more than a thousand pounds of marijuana."

http://kvoa.com/Global/story.asp?S=5276584&nav=HMO6HMaY

This next one ... hmmm ... jeez ... after being robbed once I would carry a damn gun.

Quote :

"New_Picture A Huntsville man says he isn't getting robbed anymore. After falling victim 4 times police surveillance nabbed a suspect. Brent Bullion is a vending machine supplier who has been robbed 4 times at the same drop off location. Today, Huntsville police were waiting on the theft. After he allegedly robbed Bullion for the 5th time a high speed chase ensued. The suspect, Kevon Clifton, lost control of his truck and crashed."

http://www.waaytv.com/cgi-bin/shownews.cgi?id=2794

And let's end today with a sexual note, shall we?

Quote :

"SCOTTDALE -- A man destroyed a woman's mailbox, then left behind a graphic photo of himself after she rejected his sexual advances, state police said. State police said they were investigating more than a dozen similar incidents involving the same man and that additional charges would be filed. James E. Fulmer, 54, of Scottdale, remained in the Westmoreland County Jail on Wednesday on stalking, harassment, criminal mischief and related counts."

http://www.cumberlink.com/articles/2006/08/09/news/news19.txt

8/15/2006 9:47:48 AM

Quote :

"STURGIS - A Sturgis police officer is recovering after a man tried to extinguish his cigarette in the officer's eye. Shawn Dickerson, 23, walked into the lobby of the police station around 2 p.m. Tuesday and assaulted the sergeant. Dickerson had to be tasered twice before officers could take him into custody. He's charged with assault."

http://www.woodtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5284933&nav=menu44_2

Quote :

"A 21-year-old man suffered severe burns to his face and head when he ignited a mortar-style firework that he taped to an old football helmet and placed on his head."

http://www.wsbt.com/news/indiana/3573242.html

Quote :

"A man attempting to rob City Pawn decided that wasn't such a good idea when he discovered the clerk at the shop happened to be putting away a gun at the time."

http://kutv.com/topstories/local_story_227144606.html (with pic!)

Quote :

"Vandals were arrested after attacking -- of all places -- Drake Security Offices at 2502 Forest Ave. Des Moines police said Drake Security officers were in the building monitoring security cameras when a group of juveniles was spotted outside. "

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060815/NEWS/60815010/1001/NEWS

8/16/2006 2:44:16 PM

Quote :

"Self-shooting leads to teens' arrest By The Associated Press MISSOULA - Two teenagers who fled Oregon with two dozen stolen weapons were arrested here after one shot himself in the leg, apparently while twirling a handgun on his finger. Emily Ann Whitehead, 18, and Christopher Stahl, a juvenile, were arrested at St. Patrick Hospital's emergency room Wednesday night after Whitehead brought Stahl there for treatment of a gunshot wound. Court records said the teens stole 25 guns from Stahl's father in Terrebonne, Ore. They are also accused of stealing a Playstation 2, a DVD player and a video camera. Whitehead was charged Thursday in Justice Court with obstructing a peace officer, deceptive practices and theft. All are misdemeanor charges. Stahl has not appeared in court. Whitehead is accused of hindering an investigation by lying to sheriff's deputies about the nature of Stahl's gunshot wound. Stahl apparently shot himself near Seeley Lake, and Whitehead drove him to Missoula. Hospital staff are required by law to contact authorities when treating a gunshot wound. Whitehead told deputies she rummaged through a mailbox in Seeley Lake and found a blank check from a credit-card company. Whitehead brought the check to the First Valley Bank in Seeley Lake, made it out to herself in the amount of $950, opened an account and withdrew $100. Court records said she admitted taking the Playstation and the guns."

[Edited on August 19, 2006 at 5:48 PM. Reason : ...]

8/19/2006 5:48:31 PM

good thing Karma isnt real

8/19/2006 6:35:03 PM

Quote :

"A BRISBANE woman who allegedly drove a car onto a railway line, honking her horn at a train in front of her, has been charged with dangerous driving."

Come on, that's fucking awesome, not stupid.

8/20/2006 2:58:55 PM

hmm seems alot of these people are in the 18-22 age group

8/20/2006 3:32:52 PM

set em up

8/21/2006 1:04:13 PM