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 Message Boards » » Talking to the future father in law Page 1 [2], Prev  
8=======D
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yea, email would be pretty lame

2/17/2007 9:25:40 PM

DROD900
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I think a text message would be the last thing I would do

and I think an email is pretty much equivalent to a handwritten letter, except an email gets there faster and is much easier to reply to. I wouldnt expect him to write me a letter back and send it halfway around the world

2/18/2007 10:52:58 AM

State409c
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Went and looked at rings yesterday. My head exploded.

2/18/2007 4:33:16 PM

joe_schmoe
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Quote :
"yea, email would be pretty lame"

2/18/2007 4:44:19 PM

MajrShorty
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You can easily get an international calling letter and if he's over there for 8-12 months your girl is bound to have a contact number for him.

I'd say stop by the gas station or go to mobilecaller.com and buy an international calling card, then get his # from your girl or her mother, either sneaky-like if you're planning a suprise or just straight up ask her if she knows you're going to propose.

There, phone call problems sorted. cost you $20 at most, and that's for a hella long phone call.

2/19/2007 1:40:02 PM

DROD900
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^not a bad idea, dont know why I didnt think of getting an international phone card before

'preciate it

2/20/2007 7:29:39 PM

skankinande
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I wish they had just told me no.

2/21/2007 3:13:15 PM

State409c
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Did you folks spend more or less than 5k on a ring? Or, without revealing how much you spent, did it equate to 1 months, 2 months, 1 weeks salary?

2/26/2007 11:38:48 AM

skankinande
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Less, but on my salary it was a lot.

2/26/2007 12:16:50 PM

joe_schmoe
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Quote :
"without revealing how much you spent, did it equate to 1 months, 2 months, 1 weeks salary?"


you know, some people can figure out ratios and stuff.

2/26/2007 12:35:02 PM

State409c
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Ok.

How about this then. I plan on spending 1 weeks salary. How much money do I make?

2/26/2007 12:56:03 PM

sober46an3
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i spent enough where it was a sign of my commitment and dedication. i gave up doing and buying things for myself to save money for her. i dont think you can quantify that in a terms of weeks or months of salary. everyones situation is unique.

she would have been satisfied even if i had only spent $100....but it wouldnt have meant as much to me if i didnt "sacrifice" for it.


[Edited on February 26, 2007 at 1:08 PM. Reason : g]

2/26/2007 1:05:20 PM

joe_schmoe
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$250K/yr

2/26/2007 8:22:04 PM

Toyota4x4
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Buy it off ebay...haha...j/k.

I think the question shouldn't be how much did you spend, but how big/what cut is the ring? That's what she is going to tell her friends anyway..."ohh it's a 1 caret princess cut" not "ohh it's a $5k ring".

2/26/2007 8:33:56 PM

rdcalllaway
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I went to my wife's parents both on a Tuesday night (after calling the night before to ask if I could stop by - they were in Charlotte, I was in Raleigh). I drove down and made a little chit chat before telling them that I loved their daughter and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I asked for their blessing on the marriage, and told them that I was planning to propose that weekend. Her dad immediately said "we'd be honored to have you marry her", and immediately turned the Braves game back on Her mom started crying and getting all excited.

Overall, I don't think I needed their permission to marry their daughter; moreso, it was out of respect that they would know my intentions and how I felt about her. Since my wife wanted the proposal to be a surprise, I didn't tell her anything until afterwards (but she did expect me to talk to her parents beforehand, which I would have done anyway). Plus, when you're asking for $ for a wedding, it helps to have the inlaws happy with you

3/5/2007 11:40:47 AM

BobbyDigital
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Quote :
"Did you folks spend more or less than 5k on a ring? "


less.

waaay less.

like $750. But, I was lucky because I got her grandmother's diamond, and just had it re-set in a platinum setting.

But since I had to pay for the wedding, I more than made up for it.

not so lucky after all

3/5/2007 1:54:50 PM

eltownse
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I asked for her parents' blessing two days before.

I called and said I wanted to come over and show something I got for her birthday. They pretty much knew even before I had called!

But you have to time just right because I had the ring and my wife had no idea where I was or what I was doing.

3/5/2007 2:03:23 PM

OmarBadu
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Quote :
"Did you folks spend more or less than 5k on a ring? Or, without revealing how much you spent, did it equate to 1 months, 2 months, 1 weeks salary?"


more - but not too much more

the stats on the center since compared to it everything else is just details really
Carat weight: 1.01
Cut: Very Good
Color: H
Clarity: VS1

3/5/2007 6:02:45 PM

Finish
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Quote :
"Did you folks spend more or less than 5k on a ring?"


Engagement ring was a little over $6k and the wedding ring was about $1700. Before the wedding, I moved in with my parents for 6 months so I could pay it off before we got married. Although I spent 90% of the nights with my fiance.

Price of the ring should depend on where you are both at financially when you get engaged. We had been out of school for a few years and she owned a house and was making pretty good money. I had the salary to cover the ring in a year without having to pay interest. If you are fresh out of college or in low paying jobs, you should buy inexpensive rings (and an inexpensive wedding if you are paying) and use the rest on a house.

3/5/2007 6:04:00 PM

Excoriator
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i gave my wife a ring made out of pipe cleaner

she said that our love was what was important, not the size of the ring

haha sucker

3/5/2007 8:00:48 PM

skankinande
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It is about the love, its crazy to spend a ton of money on a ring, especially if it doesnt work out like mine then you have a ring sitting in a drawer

3/5/2007 9:14:25 PM

ssjamind
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^^ LOL

3/5/2007 10:15:11 PM

State409c
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My problem is I am torn between being "that asshole" that blew way to much on a ring (because I have a fragile ego and I like to show out a little) and being Mr. Frugal.

It's no big deal for me to spend 5k. But it is starting to press my tolerance level when things are looking more like they might be 10k (for setting + diamond + wedding band). Especially when I crunch the numbers and see what that additional 5k will be worth 30 years from now compounded at a modest 7.5%, or an also reasonable 12.5%.

3/5/2007 10:35:41 PM

skankinande
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Because that ring will be worth nothing.

3/6/2007 10:22:54 AM

SkankinMonky
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esp. after she cheats on him for being a cheapsass

3/6/2007 10:25:52 AM

State409c
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Quote :
"Because that ring will be worth nothing."


Did you even read the post?

3/6/2007 11:04:54 AM

skankinande
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I did, spend 5k on the ring and invest the rest, an extra 5k on a ring will do nothing but make yourself think you love more

3/6/2007 11:30:08 AM

jocristian
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Took my in-laws to breakfast.. asked for their blessing. Her mom was excited, her dad said "happy to have you in the family". We brought breakfast back to my wife and I had plans to ask her that evening, but her mom was so excited she called half the family and it ended up coming around to my wife before I proposed.


I agree with those that have said that if you have a good relationship with your in-laws, asking permission or for their blessing is really no big deal. It is a sign of respect. You know the answer already, its just one of those things you do to show that you care about them and their influence on your wife.

3/6/2007 2:33:17 PM

sober46an3
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so it sounds like asking the family backfired for you.

3/6/2007 2:35:10 PM

jocristian
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yes and no. Luckily, I didn't have some huge elaborate proposal setup so it didn't ruin any huge plans. It did kind of steal my fire.

At that point, I still hadn't found out why the family calls her the "mouth of the south" yet.

3/6/2007 2:51:09 PM

mdozer73
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Just after my wife and I had started dating, her step-father (might as well been her father) offered me $20 to take her to Dillon, SC so he wouldn't have to pay her tuition anymore. That ended up being a running joke for a couple of years. I don't even remember if I even asked for their blessing, it all happened so fast. On the engagment/wedding planning part, the shorter period of time you are engaged, the less time you have to spend money on the wedding. Everyone says to be engaged a year, but I think 6-8 months is sufficient because the more time you have = the more money you spend on the wedding plans.

3/6/2007 5:56:17 PM

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