Judas Veteran 225 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Thanks for telling me (swallowing pride now) but I can't be your friend. Maybe one day I'll be able to have a decent conversation with you without trying to hold back angry words, but not yet." |
Does her statement hold any chance that I can fix the relationship?
Some people have said, just give it time (3-6 mos), while others have said to ask if she would meet for coffee or something to just talk (neutral location - not a date - middle of the day).
Only one person has said not to pursue it any further.
What is your opinion(s)?
I'd really like to right my wrongs, if I could.
[Edited on September 19, 2007 at 11:34 PM. Reason : eg]9/19/2007 11:33:16 PM |
ncsuapex SpaceForRent 37776 Posts user info edit post |
you're fucked. might as well forget her and move on 9/19/2007 11:33:56 PM |
FykalJpn All American 17209 Posts user info edit post |
9/19/2007 11:34:12 PM |
Str8BacardiL ************ 41752 Posts user info edit post |
Need pics and backstory. 9/19/2007 11:34:23 PM |
cddweller All American 20699 Posts user info edit post |
Whatever chance you've lost to bwn her in the next few months has been bombed to hell. Whatever you said, it was probably hurtful. Give yourselves both some time to cool down and let her contact you later on. 9/19/2007 11:34:37 PM |
MattJM321 All American 4003 Posts user info edit post |
move on 9/19/2007 11:34:42 PM |
Aficionado Suspended 22518 Posts user info edit post |
move the fuck on for your own good 9/19/2007 11:44:01 PM |
Judas Veteran 225 Posts user info edit post |
No pics, she's rather cute/hot though.
I'm sure there is a decent amount of past baggage/emotional damage.
I up and told her (before she left on a trip) that I didn't believe we were going to work out, b/c I couldn't tell if she was a rebound or not. I didn't want that and neither did she.
She flipped out on me calling me a liar and other things, b/c she asked me before we hung out more if that's what I was looking for.
I wasn't looking for a rebound, but I was fresh out of a relationship (less than a week) and I had some crazy emotions floating around. Including, but not limited to starting over with my ex.
That's what prompted me to call the new girl and tell her my concerns.
If I had to do it over again, I would have kept my mouth shut and been happy.
I'm trying to move on btw. I just have to get it out my system first. She was a very awesome girl and I'm going to miss a lot by not being in a relationship with her.
[Edited on September 19, 2007 at 11:53 PM. Reason : g] 9/19/2007 11:52:00 PM |
ncsuapex SpaceForRent 37776 Posts user info edit post |
go downtown this weekend and fuck a girl.. Any girl you can pick up. That'll help some. 9/19/2007 11:53:55 PM |
AxlBonBach All American 45549 Posts user info edit post |
dude it's so over. forget about it 9/19/2007 11:54:33 PM |
Judas Veteran 225 Posts user info edit post |
^I'm not like that. It would be a lot easier if I were though.
Quote : | "let her contact you later on." |
If it's up to her, I'm sure she wouldn't ever talk to me again.
[Edited on September 19, 2007 at 11:56 PM. Reason : eh]9/19/2007 11:54:55 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
Sorry to hear that. I have no idea except don't hound her. Let her come to you when she feels better. If she likes you enough she will come back, if you burned that bridge o h well move on. 9/19/2007 11:55:10 PM |
H8R wear sumthin tight 60155 Posts user info edit post |
fresh out of a relationship...
move on.
do you know how many girls are out there?
Hint: she isn't the only one. 9/19/2007 11:59:08 PM |
aaronburro Sup, B 52876 Posts user info edit post |
sorry, dude, but having been there and fucked up a really great friendship that was turning romantic, I have to say that it's over. pack yer bags up and move on 9/19/2007 11:59:25 PM |
Judas Veteran 225 Posts user info edit post |
What about a Xmas gift and a nice card?
I'm trying not to hound her, as I know that will drive her further away. I've just grown up in a internet enabled world and can't seem to grasp that relationships take time to make or break.
I feel like I should do something about it or I really will lose her forever.
Of course I have to take into account that I want the best for her, as I can't be too selfish (even though it appears to be so).
If she came right out and said, "don't speak to me ever again", I would obey. She hasn't said that though. Maybe she considers it a possibility or maybe she forgot to include it.
I'm just missing her and what could have been, tis all.
[Edited on September 20, 2007 at 12:02 AM. Reason : e] 9/20/2007 12:00:04 AM |
chembob Yankee Cowboy 27011 Posts user info edit post |
Well, be glad your thread hasn't turned into this:
?topic=473215
don't bring your troubles to TWW, man.] 9/20/2007 12:00:20 AM |
StillFuchsia All American 18941 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "If it's up to her, I'm sure she wouldn't ever talk to me again." |
Well, you basically told her she was a rebound. Just move on, accept you fucked it up.9/20/2007 12:00:21 AM |
OmarBadu zidik 25069 Posts user info edit post |
my advice is to not accept any relationship advice from stillfuchsia no matter how lucky she might get every now and then with something correct 9/20/2007 12:00:56 AM |
simonn best gottfriend 28968 Posts user info edit post |
just give it up. 9/20/2007 12:01:16 AM |
Hurley Suspended 7284 Posts user info edit post |
leave her alone, and only talk to her if she talks first.
i'd be chasing some strange if I were you 9/20/2007 12:02:58 AM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
Let her come to you.
DO NOT CONTACT HER FIRST 9/20/2007 12:03:38 AM |
GoldenViper All American 16056 Posts user info edit post |
Mind control FTW.
In the future, we'll never have to give up on relationships. 9/20/2007 12:05:14 AM |
Judas Veteran 225 Posts user info edit post |
I did tell her she was a rebound, in not so many words. I could see myself saying it, but I couldn't stop it.
I was really fucked up inside. I'm a bit better now.
Though I did rock out to her fav. band the last day I saw her.
AND she smiled at me and actually spoke to me.
[Edited on September 20, 2007 at 12:09 AM. Reason : rock n' roll] 9/20/2007 12:05:21 AM |
phenom Suspended 192 Posts user info edit post |
get you a couple of hoodrats and start knocking them out real quick before you're ready for the real thing. you just need to bust this first nut right now. 9/20/2007 12:28:21 AM |
wdprice3 BinaryBuffonary 45912 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "you're fucked. might as well forget her and move on" |
trewf
sorry, but i've been there and done that, she's gone9/20/2007 12:34:16 AM |
fjjackso All American 14538 Posts user info edit post |
she's never going to forgive you for killing her savior... get over it 9/20/2007 12:37:05 AM |
pwrstrkdf250 Suspended 60006 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I did tell her she was a rebound, in not so many words. I could see myself saying it, but I couldn't stop it.
I was really fucked up inside. I'm a bit better now." |
haha dude I feel you
I fucked up like that before
chalk it up to bad timing and move on, if it works out one day it will...
but no nice words from you or sympathy from her will make shit work
if you're a good dude and she doesn't see wanna come back down the road, her loss
if she's see that there were issues and understands that things are different now, then maybe she'll come back...
it's just gonna take time man, go ahead and live your life... it's too short to worry about the actions of one other person9/20/2007 12:42:25 AM |
ncsuapex SpaceForRent 37776 Posts user info edit post |
find a REALLY hot girl, much hotter than her. And let the other girl see you with her and how happy you look. That will drive her up the fuckin wall! 9/20/2007 12:49:55 AM |
pwrstrkdf250 Suspended 60006 Posts user info edit post |
only if you videotape you and the new girl! 9/20/2007 12:51:00 AM |
Judas Veteran 225 Posts user info edit post |
you're not kidding about the bad timing.
i'm the master of that shit.
i hope i'm a good dude.
yeah, living my life is gonna be slightly harder since i feel like my soulmate hates me.
i just hope i'm not chasing a dream.
I FIGURED IT OUT:
I fucked it up b/c I was scared to have someone that I could love as much as they loved me.
I've always been in relationships where there was a imbalance of love. It was usually where they would love me MUCH more than I did them, if at all. Hell, all of them were like that. This experience has led me to figure out the root of my problem.
With her, I have no problem saying "I love you", I could never bring myself to say it to other girlfriends.
[Edited on September 20, 2007 at 1:02 AM. Reason : proper introspection is key.] 9/20/2007 12:54:54 AM |
WillemJoel All American 8006 Posts user info edit post |
the truth is there is no sound advice.
you're dealing with a woman.
today, she may genuinely hate you.
tomorrow, she may be telling people she is betrothed to you.
i can not be more serious.
just let it ride. 9/20/2007 12:59:46 AM |
Judas Veteran 225 Posts user info edit post |
I guess in my fucked up mind I wanted to have her, but not.
I made it so that I couldn't have what I wanted.
I can't believe what I did to myself.
My only hope is that by letting things be, that she will reconsider and that we can start over instead of trying to fix things. 9/20/2007 1:04:23 AM |
WillemJoel All American 8006 Posts user info edit post |
gorls. 9/20/2007 1:10:29 AM |
StillFuchsia All American 18941 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "my advice is to not accept any relationship advice from stillfuchsia no matter how lucky she might get every now and then with something correct " |
yeah, it's not like I've had any relationships or anything 9/20/2007 1:11:34 AM |
pwrstrkdf250 Suspended 60006 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "you're not kidding about the bad timing.
i'm the master of that shit.
i hope i'm a good dude.
yeah, living my life is gonna be slightly harder since i feel like my soulmate hates me.
i just hope i'm not chasing a dream." |
time man, thats it... we've all fucked up before
honestly I do feel like I did the same exact thing and lost the one person that was pretty much a perfect match because of it
but like I said, shit happens for a reason... if it's meant to work out it'll find a way to do so
just live your life, have fun, do what YOU have to do
Quote : | "I FIGURED IT OUT:
I fucked it up b/c I was scared to have someone that I could love as much as they loved me.
I've always been in relationships where there was a imbalance of love. It was usually where they would love me MUCH more than I did them, if at all. Hell, all of them were like that. This experience has led me to figure out the root of my problem.
With her, I have no problem saying "I love you", I could never bring myself to say it to other girlfriends." |
well, I never said that "word", but I understand what you mean... I had a psychotic ex that was not helping my life that is now out of the picture (thank you wake county)
but it was too late already... when I had all my shit figured out I had already fucked it all up cause I was so worried about bullshit in my life
but thats a lesson learned
Quote : | "the truth is there is no sound advice.
you're dealing with a woman.
today, she may genuinely hate you.
tomorrow, she may be telling people she is betrothed to you.
i can not be more serious.
just let it ride." |
correct!
Quote : | "I guess in my fucked up mind I wanted to have her, but not.
I made it so that I couldn't have what I wanted.
I can't believe what I did to myself.
My only hope is that by letting things be, that she will reconsider and that we can start over instead of trying to fix things." |
give it time
I do appreciate the fact that you've taken words out of my head and posted them for me
well, I was just scared really and trying not to doo too much one way or the other
because I had more issues than TIME magazine earlier this summer9/20/2007 1:11:54 AM |
slowblack96 All American 4999 Posts user info edit post |
fuck her sister or best friend and se what happens 9/20/2007 3:38:47 AM |
craptastic All American 6115 Posts user info edit post |
It'll most likely take some time. Continue to be nice/friendly to her, but not overbearing. In the meantime try to date around a little, make sure that you don't just want this girl because you can't have her now. 9/20/2007 3:51:22 AM |
sawahash All American 35321 Posts user info edit post |
The relationship will never be a meaning one ever again. Wait it out, and see later on in life if there is anything worth trying to salvage 9/20/2007 7:06:42 AM |
Dentaldamn All American 9974 Posts user info edit post |
it means she wants butt sex 9/20/2007 7:33:04 AM |
mcfluffle All American 11291 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "you're fucked. might as well forget her and move on" |
9/20/2007 7:38:43 AM |
Jenniferyan Veteran 355 Posts user info edit post |
Sure, you can fix the relationship. If you change that "just give it time" to 3-6 years maybe....
Speaking as a girl, you're fucked. Cut your losses, try not to get bitter, and move on. It sucks that you're hurting, but it will pass. Also - NO XMAS PRESENTS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NO NO NO NO NO.If she means as much to you as you say she does, respect her wishes. It's for the best.
[Edited on September 20, 2007 at 8:02 AM. Reason : didn't read the whole thread before posting] 9/20/2007 7:58:04 AM |
Darb5000 All American 1294 Posts user info edit post |
I doubt there's a chance of a romantic relationship again, but it looks like you may not even want that any more. I'd say to put it out there that you're willing to talk about what happened and let her go from there. At this point that's about all you can do that will help. Definitely no christmas presents, though. 9/20/2007 8:32:47 AM |
quagmire02 All American 44225 Posts user info edit post |
guys and girls can't be friends...in most cases 9/20/2007 8:45:30 AM |
Jen All American 10527 Posts user info edit post |
i find it odd that your asking for advice on something a girl said but all but 3 of the comments have been made by guys 9/20/2007 8:54:08 AM |
spöokyjon ℵ 18617 Posts user info edit post |
You fucked it up. Move on. But if you do anything else as hilarious as this, make sure to tell TWW about it. 9/20/2007 8:57:06 AM |
Str8BacardiL ************ 41752 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I up and told her (before she left on a trip) that I didn't believe we were going to work out, b/c I couldn't tell if she was a rebound or not. I didn't want that and neither did she." |
TRANSLATION: "I don't really like you and rather than continue fucking you mentally and physically I want to now "self destruct" whatever we have and never see you again." 9/20/2007 9:49:13 AM |
soulfire963 Suspended 1587 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "guys and girls can't be friends...in most cases" |
QFT9/20/2007 9:50:04 AM |
ThePeter TWW CHAMPION 37709 Posts user info edit post |
Ok, so the girl says 'fuck you and have a good life' and you forget about it.
Then she messages back after a few months, what now? 9/20/2007 9:56:07 AM |
Budiss All American 2348 Posts user info edit post |
bail on this broad 9/20/2007 10:22:00 AM |
ncsuapex SpaceForRent 37776 Posts user info edit post |
^^
grudge fuck her. Then when you're done tell her you hate her. lol 9/20/2007 10:22:49 AM |