How many of you have parents that divorced or separated once you were older? For the sake of this thread, we'll say older is over the age of 18.

and go.

12/5/2007 6:38:41 PM

not me

my parents split when I was 6

12/5/2007 6:39:21 PM

NOT ME

mine split when i was like 5

12/5/2007 6:39:22 PM

brad's did

12/5/2007 6:43:57 PM

what are parents that are together called


vorced?
monovorced?

12/5/2007 6:44:48 PM

^
married

[Edited on December 5, 2007 at 7:05 PM. Reason : .]

12/5/2007 6:50:15 PM

was 23 i think when they split and are now officially divorced after 2 years of paperwork

[Edited on December 5, 2007 at 6:56 PM. Reason : v]

12/5/2007 6:55:32 PM

I was 8 when my 'rents called it quits on each other.

12/5/2007 6:56:47 PM

not me

my parents split when I was 13

12/5/2007 6:58:26 PM

mine are still together

12/5/2007 6:59:48 PM

my parents split when i was about 3

12/5/2007 7:01:24 PM

mine split [for the 7th time] when I was 21 and divorced when I was 24.

12/5/2007 7:01:50 PM

Mine got divorced a few years before I was born, then got back together.

12/5/2007 7:02:17 PM

As soon as I left for college, didn't even tell me until like October when I came home as a surprise. House was empty, as in no one home, and pictures of my mom and some other guy were all over the place.

SURPRISE!!!

[Edited on December 5, 2007 at 7:04 PM. Reason : a]

12/5/2007 7:03:36 PM

not me

my parents split when I was like 12

12/5/2007 7:04:40 PM

not me.

my dad split right after I was conceived

12/5/2007 7:05:16 PM

not me.

mine are still together.

12/5/2007 7:11:11 PM

Quote :

"As soon as I left for college, didn't even tell me until like October when I came home as a surprise. House was empty, as in no one home, and pictures of my mom and some other guy were all over the place. SURPRISE!!! "

hahaha!

12/5/2007 7:33:21 PM

no wonder a lot of people have "issues" and are messed up socially.

12/5/2007 7:35:25 PM

Quote :

"not me. my dad split right after I was conceived"

12/5/2007 7:36:54 PM

parents split my senior yr in HS

12/5/2007 7:37:58 PM

^^^agreed.

12/5/2007 7:39:00 PM

Quote :

"no wonder a lot of people have "issues" and are messed up socially."

I think the only time divorce results in the children having social issues are when one or both parents are still bitter at eachother and end up using the children as leverage or try to pit them against the other.

My parents parted amicably, remained friends and are still friends today. They've both long been remaried as well. There was never any tension between them, or resentment.

[Edited on December 5, 2007 at 7:41 PM. Reason : ]

12/5/2007 7:41:21 PM

Mine split briefly when I was 18, got back together and divorced when I was 21. Got back together after about a year, and divorced again about 6 years later. They have a few issues.

What's the point of this discussion anyway?

12/5/2007 7:43:39 PM

i think original poster's parents are splitting up, and she asked for advice?

12/5/2007 7:44:32 PM

in a round about way?

[Edited on December 5, 2007 at 7:45 PM. Reason : ?]

12/5/2007 7:45:25 PM

MetalRed, spot on!

^^^ yea definitely some "issues" (not insulting them... it could happen to anybody)

12/5/2007 7:51:02 PM

i think i was 17 when they split

12/5/2007 8:19:15 PM

me, being older is worse in my opinion. both parents try to put you in the middle and try to get you to do their bidding. however it probably really bad because my mom is a psycho.

12/5/2007 8:39:28 PM

No divorce here.

Instead my father died in a car accident (his fault, drunk driving) when I was four. Had he lived there probably would have been a divorce because of his drinking problem. I still grew up with my mom talking junk about him and dating about a bazillion different men.

12/5/2007 8:48:11 PM

Quote :

"hollister: What's the point of this discussion anyway? chembob: i think original poster's parents are splitting up, and she asked for advice? ImYoPusha: in a round about way?"

yep, that basically sums it up. most people i know have parents that split up when they were younger, not 24. so i'm having trouble putting my mind around the situation.

12/5/2007 8:51:05 PM

Mom divorced when I was 4 then again when I was 12....

12/5/2007 8:53:16 PM

my advice, walk a very straight line and don't show any favortism towards one or the other.Also try to never be a messenger between the parents, that shit sucks.

12/5/2007 8:53:23 PM

mine split when I was 1 and a half

haven't spoke to my dad in 5 years

12/5/2007 8:54:29 PM

mine did when i was 13... i think i took it just about the same as I ould have if i had be 18+ cause we all new it was for the best

it's also different cause when you're older you have the capability to talk to each of them without them looking down on you like a naive child and you have the ability to see them when you want to and get away when you don't

12/5/2007 8:58:50 PM

mine separated but never really split... actually there pretty much together again

12/5/2007 9:09:37 PM

Quote :

"yep, that basically sums it up. most people i know have parents that split up when they were younger, not 24. so i'm having trouble putting my mind around the situation."

Your dad wants to bwn other women.

/thread

12/5/2007 9:12:37 PM

Tell them to work their shit out before asking you to get involved with each one of them again.

12/5/2007 9:12:45 PM

my mom sperated from daddy-o at 14 and divorced at 15. Its amazing the shit ppl fight about during the divorce.

almost 10 years later dad still refers to her as "the bitch"

12/5/2007 9:36:30 PM

mine split up in july

i wouldn't care if they weren't still giving me money

but not im stuck in the middle of it and it sucks

12/5/2007 9:50:08 PM

Very sorry to hear that. I was spared the brunt of it because I had already moved out, but my sister got put in the middle big time. The worst part I had to deal with was the final divorce, which was in progress when I got married. First dad was not coming, then he was going to come walk me down the aisle, then walk out. He ended up coming and staying, but spent the whole pre-walk thing basically telling me not to be a whore like my mother.

Quote :

"my advice, walk a very straight line and don't show any favortism towards one or the other.Also try to never be a messenger between the parents, that shit sucks."

spot on.

12/5/2007 10:18:47 PM

mine split up when i was 14.

12/5/2007 10:21:50 PM

mine split as soon as i left for college really (and i have a younger brother) i guess 18-19?

12/6/2007 12:15:13 AM

so is this the thread where you can figure out what people have parental issues?

12/6/2007 12:19:52 AM

my parents divorced when i was 22 or so...don't remember exactly. they were married for 25 years and change, including the year of seperation before the divorce.

12/6/2007 12:23:33 AM

What was their big reason, Josh?

Mine are still together after 37 years of marriage ( I was concieved on the honeymoon).

And I wonder if my mom would survive if my dad decided to bail. I don't really worry about him too much. They had some really rough years in my elementary school/early junior high years...where Mom would drag us kids up to my great-grandmother's house for a lot of weekends. My dad drank far more than he does now, and he was pretty mean when he'd get tipsy. I got a scar where my lip had to get sewed up to prove it. I guess I was too young to really pick up on a lot of their issues, and for that, I am thankful. I was a pretty timid kid, and emotionally sensitive...

I think it would pretty much crush me at my age (36) if my parents went through something like this...I grew up in a nuclear family, where we all ate dinner together, went to church together (though I at times resented the Catholic Church), and had our basic emotional and physical needs furnished by both parents (though in different roles). They weren't the best at it, but they did what they could. They weren't the best at working with each other lots of times, but they eventually got to where they could accept that fact, and they've sinced been able to mellow into a groove of sorts that I think both are pretty happy with.

I hate to see somebody have to go through their parents getting divorced, though, especially later in life. My perspective is that it is probably akin to having a lot of your core beliefs or maybe what you've always taken for advantage just trampled on or thrown in the trash.

I really hurt for my stepson when my wife and I divorced, but unfortunately, he's had to adjust to this kind of thing early in life--born out of wedlock, and seeing his mom progress from boyfriend to boyfriend. Some of his coping mechanisms aren't really healthy, like his BIG Passive-aggressive streak. And he doesn't really have a good sense of what family can be like. But he's proven that he's resilient, and that he can cope. I just hope he's not a ticking time bomb...his basic character seems to good for that.

My apologies for hijacking your thread, LK.

12/6/2007 12:41:53 AM

to make a long story short, my dad grew up in a family with a fiercely tempered father, a relatively tough (in many ways, at least) mother, and 2 brothers. My mom grew up an only child with two of the most mild mannered parents you can imagine (for that matter, you know my mom's dad).

dad had a quick temper with both my mom and my brother and me, and could also be on the overbearing side at times. Mom had never really been around an intense personality like his.

My dad will be the first to tell you that he said a lot of things over the years wrong and uncalled for. My mom mostly just swept it under the emotional rug for 24 years, until she basically no longer was really emotionally attached to my dad or invested in their marriage. they'd get into an argument--that would be barely above routine by my dad's standards--and earth-shattering by my mom's. it would finally blow over, and dad wouldn't think anything more of it, while mom did but didn't say anything about it.

eventually mom just said "I don't love you anymore, and I want a divorce." I don't think it was a result of any fight or anything...as far as I know, it was kinda out of the blue. I know my dad didn't know anything was wrong in their marriage until mom told him that. they went to marriage counseling and stuff--and I don't think that I've ever seen my dad lose his temper since then...but all the damage was already done.

12/6/2007 1:00:29 AM

My parents are still together, but I don't think it would affect me much if they divorced. I'm not close to anyone in my family. I had a pleasant enough upbringing and no real issues. It's probably been 6 4 months since I talked to either of them, and that was only after they called about a half dozen times.

12/6/2007 1:46:04 AM

I'm not dating any chicks with crazy family shit anymore



apples don't fall far from the tree

12/6/2007 2:07:25 AM

I had a similar situation as MetalRed...parents divorced when I was five, but it was amicable and they both get along fine. Never felt a lack of love or any tension, I had a fairly stable upbringing as far as these things go. Definitely better off than kids whose parents stayed in a fucked up marriage "for the children"

12/6/2007 3:09:12 AM