If you haven't read this, it is truly classic.

Quote :

"I've avoided watching the debates until now because I saw them as little more than exercises in media manipulation. This time, I wanted to watch the Republican debate just to hear the other candidates respond to Ron Paul. Unfortunately, I had a scheduling conflict so I asked a kid to take notes for me. As the debate began, I drew a quick seating chart of the candidates to help the kid keep track of who said what and then ran off. BTW - this is not snark. This is a straight rendition from a 9 year old. The only changes I made were for spelling errors (except the names). It must have been more difficult than I thought to keep track of all the new names. That's the only reason I can think of to explain why this reporter devised a new naming strategy to keep track of the candidates. Aside from that, it seems they got all the high points. Follow me below the fold for the 9-year old's rendition of a fight between Sarge, Wrinkles, Bunny Ears, Oily, Beagle Eyes and Carrot Face... "

Start of 9-year-old's synopsis:

Quote :

" They are rude Interrupt alot! Beagle Eyes Arrogant foreign policy We need 400,000 troops Don't let politicians get involved Leave it to military with blood on their boots. Carrot Face President policy good War good Patriot Act good Electric snooping good Capturing Saddam mistake Surge mistake Clinton peace dividend bad We need more troops We need more ships Wrinkles Constitution has 10 Amendments Immigration is bad Secure border from immigration Sarge Bush right America is safe America is not safe America is safe Rumsfeld failure Petraeus is good Strategy was bad Now it is good Sarge is confusing Bunny Ears We are bullies Policemen If not listening we bomb them. If listening we give them money. Oily, Wrinkles and Carrot Face are making fun of Bunny Ears. Carrot Face Olympics got attacked Fight. Fight. Interrupt. Fight. New topic Healthcare best in the world. War funds for health care 10% inflation Inflation needs to be under control Oily They don't need Hillery care? Bunny Ears People go to India for heart surgery airplane + hotel + surgery = 50% of cost in America. People don't have health insurance. Wrinkles is making fun of Bunny Ears again. Wrinkles and Oily fighting about man dates. Oily says man dates are ok sometimes. Wrinkles doesn't like dating men. Fight.Fight. Back to health Beagle Eyes Get everyone insured! We have disease care. Affordability is good. $1,000 for Kleenex in a hospital (no way!) Incentives to keep cost down. The power of the pharmaceutical companies. New Topic Unattributed Republican elephant hate democrats Temporary work program. Secure borders Beagle Eyes We are all God's children Carrot face 12,000,000 illegal immigrants Juliani was a mayor. Sarge John Micane never supported amnesty Charge $5,000 to stay attack ads Wrinkles Immigrants should not be rewarded Fight.Fight. Interrupt. Fight Oily Do not sent 12,000,000 Ronald Reagan on some commercial. Wrinkles New York is a Sanctuary City Send people to the end of the line to live there. Beagle Eyes They can deport themselves. Bunny Ears Get rid of income tax oil costs $100 per barrel. Inflation bad. dollar down gold up oil up Oily, Sarge, Wrinkles and Carrot Face making fun of Bunny Ears. Beagle Eyes is listening to Bunny Ears. Sarge We need wind, solar, nuclear Reduce green house gases Reduce gas emissions Reduce our demand Oily More about amnesty Legal immigration good New Topic Sarge Obama doesn't have the background to lead. No candidate likes Obama. Republicans don't think he'll be a good president. Obama gonna win. ---------------- Here is a list in case you haven't already figured out which nickname refers to which candidate: McCain = Sarge Thompson = Wrinkles Paul = Bunny Ears Romney = Oily Huckabee = Beagle Eyes Giuliani = Carrot Face "

1/7/2008 1:54:11 PM

it would've been much easier to have the names/nicknames at the top

1/7/2008 2:57:32 PM

just think how the united states use to be all proper and shit back in like the 1800's...even if you read some peoples shit from like 1940 they had good grammer and diction and shit....now kids are learing to speak in studyguide-ish outlines and using words like gonna

1/8/2008 2:38:56 AM

It's a shame how grown men feel they have to resort to ad hominem attacks to get votes.

1/8/2008 12:40:25 PM

^^ in 1870, 20% of americans couldn't even read

http://nces.ed.gov/naal/lit_history.asp

1/8/2008 12:46:39 PM