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Smath74
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they have a list of 10 or 20 catering places you have to choose from. there is a wide selection... we interviewed 4 of them, and were impressed by all but 1.

the history museum was not expensive to rent either. you also have the option of opening an exhibit or two for an hour for your guests to visit while they are waiting for the wedding party to arrive.

11/2/2008 10:09:42 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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I know she had a caterer already in mind but if their list is that big he's probably already on it lol.

[Edited on November 3, 2008 at 2:45 AM. Reason : .]

11/3/2008 2:45:18 AM

The Dude
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anyone been to or had a wedding in Asheville?

Can anyone suggest any good places for the wedding/reception?

I've toured Hidden River Estates and didn't like it to much. The price and property was good but the lodging was terrible. I'm also looking at Claxton farms but didn't have time to tour the property yet.

11/3/2008 11:01:50 AM

Gzusfrk
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If you're willing to spend some money, the Grove Park Inn is amazing, but very costly.

11/3/2008 11:44:24 AM

elkaybie
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We went to a wedding at The Beloved Homewood in Asheville.

http://www.mybelovedhomewood.com/

beautiful outdoor wedding + the venue for the indoor reception. the hall was gorgeous yet dark like a castle...very intimate. wedding was probably only 100 people seated for dinner. had a great area for the bar during the cocktail hour. wedding was in June of 2007--perfect mountain temperature for an outdoor wedding. they had a dj, but there could've been just enough room for a band.

11/3/2008 11:47:01 AM

BDubLS1
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I must be thinking of a different museum then....this one the dance was at did not have a staircase...

the dancefloor was literally 20 feet by 40 feet... they left all the lights on and there were exhibits all around the dancefloor... people were almost knocking them over and stuff

ooo...here is the one we used
http://www.raleighcitymuseum.org/rental.shtml

look at the picture on that page, then imagine ~200 college students dancing around those exhibits in that tight area (with a cash bar)

11/3/2008 1:01:59 PM

Smath74
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nah... this is what i'm talking about...
http://ncmuseumofhistory.org/fr/index.html

11/3/2008 1:53:05 PM

ambrosia1231
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Anyone have a wedding out at the airport?

http://www.rdu.com/genaviation/gatermserv.htm
I just came across this while looking for something else.

11/3/2008 4:19:51 PM

blah
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this might have already been talked about, but i haven't seen it and i've always been curious...

how do you people pay for your weddings? do your parents pay part/most/all? do you save up money and pay cash? do you finance it? or put it on credit cards?

[Edited on November 4, 2008 at 12:29 PM. Reason : i guess it would make sense if it were a combination of all or some of those things.. ]

11/4/2008 12:28:36 PM

CalledToArms
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Good question because, as I stated earlier, her dad was going to pay for it and then her mom went crazy and left and took pretty much all of their money and now we have no money for a wedding. So I dont know that we are actually going to have one since we certainly dont have money and my parents dont either.

11/4/2008 12:36:04 PM

Gzusfrk
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With our wedding, my parents told us we had a set amount we could work with. So, with our x amount of dollars, we can do whatever we want with it. If we want to take the money, elope, and keep the money for a down payment on a house, that's fine with him. If we have a wedding and go over, it's out of our pockets. With three daughters, my parents have pretty small budgets for the wedding, but completely doable. It's great to have the money to work with and yet have total flexibility to do with it whatever we want.

11/4/2008 12:43:25 PM

ambrosia1231
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My bf and I haven't discussed this yet, but knowing him and knowing me, and knowing that 1) my parents have no money 2) my mother has been DYING for me to get married so she can do stuff

...We'll probably approach planning as though we have to have the cash up front, to keep costs down. And then we'll put most stuff on a credit card, as another form of protection against anything going wrong, and pay it all off right away.

I want to figure out a way to have a cheap, but nice wedding. The last wedding I went to, you could tell they were trying to keep costs down, and that the programs were printed at home. I want to avoid that sort of touch. To be fair, though, they had an open bar and a drinking family. Fortunately, my mother is good with paper goods, and has a good number of friends who would be willing to help. I'm actually going to go to her first when looking for a photographer. And depending on how many people we have and whether it's an afternoon or evening (more likely, since we're going to have to split the reception, to accomodate my side of the family), she's has volunteered to do the food. I don't know how I feel about this. And she wants to do cakes, too. We'll probably opt for a smaller wedding cake, and then serve my mom's cakes to most of the guests, since everything she can do, she will, and it'll be free to us.


...I've said all this, and he hasn't even proposed yet

I just don't like the idea of financing/charging/borrowing to put on a wedding. I'm operating on the assumption that we'll have to pay for it entirely ourselves, and anything from either set of parents is a surprise.

[Edited on November 4, 2008 at 12:51 PM. Reason : lkjs]

11/4/2008 12:49:46 PM

MinkaGrl01

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We're paying for our wedding ourselves, my parents will be buying my dress but that's about it. We'll pay with cash though, no reason to go into debt-- therefore it'll be a small affair, about 50 people.

11/4/2008 1:11:20 PM

Smath74
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her parents paid for most of the wedding, we paid a few thousand ourselves, and then my mom paid for the rehearsal dinner and gave us a chunk of change.

11/4/2008 1:23:41 PM

OmarBadu
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Quote :
"how do you people pay for your weddings? do your parents pay part/most/all? do you save up money and pay cash? do you finance it? or put it on credit cards?"


her parents paid for everything wedding related except for the alcohol at the wedding and we paid for that, our rings, and the honeymoon to hawaii was mostly paid for with points/miles that I have and the rest out of pocket

the rehearsal dinner that my parents paid for


Quote :
"...I've said all this, and he hasn't even proposed yet

I just don't like the idea of financing/charging/borrowing to put on a wedding. I'm operating on the assumption that we'll have to pay for it entirely ourselves, and anything from either set of parents is a surprise."


from the sounds of how money works with the two of you in other threads it sounds like he has to save up for the engagement ring and then the wedding as well - i wouldn't be pressuring him too much to hurry

11/4/2008 1:35:53 PM

ambrosia1231
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Quote :
"from the sounds of how money works with the two of you in other threads it sounds like he has to save up for the engagement ring and then the wedding as well"


??

11/4/2008 1:40:05 PM

OmarBadu
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i can't recall all of the reasons i've read on here that made me come to that conclusion but it sounds like you kind of hop from low paying job to low paying job while he has a stable decent paying job - don't you live with him rent free? - when you talked about going on a road trip cross county you said he'd pay for it all and you'd give him road head and keep him company - also from things like we have a new kitchen but it was paid for by him

11/4/2008 1:44:40 PM

zxappeal
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Other ideas for wedding venues within a 35 mile radius of the Triangle area? Heck, some historical big-ass house would be cool. Money's touch and go for both of us for the next couple of months...we're looking at a tentative date of Sept. 12.

11/5/2008 1:11:01 PM

elkaybie
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Quote :
"how do you people pay for your weddings?"


for the most part my parents are paying for our wedding, but some of the traditional groom responsibilities his parents are paying for. my parents have set an amount and whatever we don't use is our wedding gift.

we're paying for our honeymoon which we aren't taking until fall/winter of next year (getting married in June)--gotta save some money, earn enough vacation time at work, plus we'd rather go somewhere warm during the colder months. he paid for my engagement ring, and we'll buy each others' wedding band. i also bought him an engagement gift (new longboard and a wet suit). i'm paying for first $100.00 of my bridesmaids' dresses since they are more expensive, and we'll be buying gifts for our attendants. i also paid for the materials to make and send our save the date cards (which ROCK by the way).

oh! and we're securing our florist soon!! just need to secure the officiant and order invitations then we're taking a hiatus from planning until after the holidays.

our vendors:

Ceremony: Orton Plantation
Reception: Southport Community Building (Southport, NC)
Band: The Sugar Band (Raleigh, NC) http://www.myspace.com/sugarthebandcom
Caterer: Bon Appetit (Wilmington, NC) http://www.bonappetitwilmington.com/
Bridesmaid dresses: Tre Bella (Durham, NC) http://www.trebellaflorist.com/
Bridal Gown: The Lily Rose (Cornelius, NC) http://www.lilyrosebridal.com/
Florist: Brunswick Town Florist (Southport, NC) http://brunswicktownflorist.net/
Photographer: Tom Sapp (Wilmington, NC) http://www.tomsapp.com
Wedding Director: Rachel Munro, Bridal By the Sea http://bridalbythesea.com/

[Edited on November 5, 2008 at 2:04 PM. Reason : vendors]

11/5/2008 1:48:33 PM

AlliePaige
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Quote :
"how do you people pay for your weddings? do your parents pay part/most/all? do you save up money and pay cash? do you finance it? or put it on credit cards?"


My dad gave me a set amount to work with and since I didn't go over he gave our honeymoon as a wedding present. My husbands parents paid for the rehearsal dinner. He paid for the engagement ring and wedding ring himself. I paid for his ring myself. And my mom bought my dress for me because she wanted to contribute something

Quote :
"I want to figure out a way to have a cheap, but nice wedding"


There are a lot of ways to cut corners without anyone knowing it. We cut corners with the flowers. The only flowers we had were the boutineers for the men in the wedding and the bouquet for me and my bridesmaids. For our centerpieces we used floating candles instead of expensive flowers which cut the whole price down.

You should figure out whats most important to you. The food and drinks were most important for me and my guests. Obviously the flowers and decorations were not.

11/5/2008 1:56:14 PM

Kiwi
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We will be paying for ours and I want it rather lavish. On the beach, live steel drum band, renting two oceanfront homes for the week, it's gonna get up there. We plan on saving for years. I'm big on things being perfect and sometimes I go too far but I'm hoping his sensible side will keep me grounded. Once we have a budget things will be better.

11/5/2008 9:38:17 PM

forkgirl
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I will cross my fingers that Bon Appetit works out for you

11/5/2008 9:56:19 PM

elkaybie
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why have u had a bad experience??? yet with your kissy face, maybe you aren't being sarcastic, but you know someone there?

[Edited on November 6, 2008 at 6:53 AM. Reason : ]

11/6/2008 6:45:34 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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^ I found this review on the internets. Maybe they had a similar experience?

Quote :
"I usually don't write reviews but as this business claims to be the "best catering in town" , I am making an exception. This is a business run by a man and wife. The wife handles the business aspects and customer service. She is rude, and disrespectful. She responds to questions are as though you owe her money or want things for free. I did not like that but brushed it off as a cultural difference or a bad day or bad debt with a previous customer. I thought my dealings would be with the chef anyway and that if I would give the $500 deposit requested right away things would change. We started by me telling her the date and time of the event and she gave me the cost for staffing such an event. The food cost was to be determined later. I agreed to the staffing cost and confirmed everything in writing and emailed a summary of our conversation to the business. A few weeks later, nearly ten days before the event I was told of an extra charge for staffing. They said I was "only contracted for 3 hours" and that they would pack and leave my 4 hour party after 3 hrs unless I'd pay an additional fee. When I questioned why, I was told that it was my fault!!! When I reminded them of the initial email which clearly shows the hours and asked if this is a typical way they conduct business, the owner got on the phone and told me to take my business elsewhere and that he will refund my deposit and then hung-up the phone!!!! Needless to say I was in a bind and very upset that I might not be able to replace them so close to the event during a wedding season. A few days later, in checking with my bank I realized that they had cashed my deposit check. When I called them, I was told that they're keeping $50 for a "site consultation". I reminded them that they cancelled with me and a "site consultation" is of no use to me. I was told that I can do what I need to do and pointed out that such is what happens in the "real world"!!
Well, they never gave me my $50 back. I did report them to the Better Business Bureau and happened to see that there was another complaint on file on them! This event was not a wedding, but I can not help feeling sorry for and would like to warn people especially couples looking for a caterer for their wedding that might be forced into taking this kind of unprofessional conduct and abuse for fear of cancellation. Don't use this caterer."


Quote :
"Anyone have a wedding out at the airport?

http://www.rdu.com/genaviation/gatermserv.htm
I just came across this while looking for something else."


I have a friend who went to a wedding there and said it was really nice. My boyfriend and I used to go on dates to the observation deck at RDU all the time so I think it would be a cool place to have the wedding if it wasn't too expensive of a venue.

[Edited on November 6, 2008 at 10:23 PM. Reason : .]

11/6/2008 10:18:43 PM

elkaybie
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do you have a link for that? i can't find it...

but on that review...

Quote :
"This is a business run by a man and wife. The wife handles the business aspects and customer service. She is rude, and disrespectful."

we've not dealt with a wife...she must not do that anymore. the girl we've been working with has been very pleasant

Quote :
"I thought my dealings would be with the chef anyway"

he told us up front "this will be the last time you talk to me directly"

Quote :
"I was told of an extra charge for staffing. They said I was "only contracted for 3 hours" and that they would pack and leave my 4 hour party after 3 hrs unless I'd pay an additional fee."

maybe we knew what to ask before meeting with them, but we definitely asked about this and were aware of the additional charges after 3 hours or other misc added staff charges. it's also in the contract...so i dunno. maybe this is an older review?

the rest sounds terrible, and i'd hate for that to happen to anyone...

[Edited on November 6, 2008 at 11:06 PM. Reason : ]

11/6/2008 10:54:19 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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http://tinyurl.com/5s2gjt

And according to the BBB they have 3 complaints filed in the past 36 months.

11/6/2008 11:01:41 PM

elkaybie
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1 complaint a year...i don't even know if that's bad--is that bad??

but that sounds like a terrible experience sucky...

i've love to hear back from forkgirl

[Edited on November 6, 2008 at 11:17 PM. Reason : ]

11/6/2008 11:10:22 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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Well it's like they tell you when you work retail management, for every one person who bothers to actually complain, there's another 10 who didn't complain and will just never do business with you again.

Might be worth the trouble to find a local Wilmington message board and ask if people have done business with them before and how it went.

11/6/2008 11:16:37 PM

blah
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Quote :
"for every one person who bothers to actually complain, there's another 10 who didn't complain and will just never do business with you again."


i agree with that, but there are also a lot of happy clients that will never write reviews or send in comments about how the company did what they were paid to do. i'm not surprised to see negative reviews because there are some people out there that you simply cannot please.

i also agree that you should try to find a local message board or something similar and ask around to people who may have used them in the past. the company can't go around claiming to be the best at something if they suck all the time... they would have gone out of business by now.

11/7/2008 6:38:32 AM

forkgirl
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I replied back =)

For my wedding, My husband and I paid for everything but-

His mom loved flowers so she begged to do that. Look at my Bouquet.


My sister and brother made the most amazing dresses that matched mine as my gift.


My sister paid for my hair and makeup as my wedding shower gift.
My parent's wedding gift was the most amazing honeymoon on the planet.
The photographer did it as a favor to us (We gave him some tip money). He is going to use our wedding to promote himself. So we got lots of really artistic pictures. (1500ish total!)
His dad is a jazz pianist and played the service music.


We paid for everything as we went. If we couldn't afford it when we went, we didn't buy it. The week of the wedding we put everything on a credit card and paid it off when we got back from the honeymoon. It was only like 4k.

He is Italian so we got about 6500 in cash for the wedding from his family and we are still getting money. We got somewhere in the neighborhood of 2k for our engagement.

[Edited on November 7, 2008 at 11:07 AM. Reason : My mom and friends also decorated the reception hall with what we had bought.]

11/7/2008 11:06:16 AM

elkaybie
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I love your bouquet!!!

11/7/2008 11:52:41 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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Quote :
"the company can't go around claiming to be the best at something if they suck all the time... they would have gone out of business by now."


Oh man, if only that were true lol.

Check out some local message boards and let us know what you find out!

11/7/2008 9:57:10 PM

elkaybie
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i really haven't found anything other than the review you provided. i asked about them on the NC board on the knot, and i got "they were rude when we didn't go with them." we've had that experience with other vendors already, so that just seems to be the norm to me at this point even though it's not great practice. forkgirl's experience with BA was similar to one that i had with another caterer in wilmington that we decided not to go with.

i'm not going to worry about it...so far we've had a great experience with them. they have our deposit and we've signed a contract, so i'm just going to move on and chalk up some of this to a clash of personalities.

i'll report back after June with our full experience.

11/8/2008 10:41:05 AM

brainysmurf
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try city-data.com


think they have a wilmington forum

11/9/2008 1:16:20 AM

needlesmcgir
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Hey, so what are some really cool things or interesting ideas that you guys have seen or done at a reception? I went to one reception and each table had a disposable camera so all kinds of pictures were being taken from the perspective of the guests. I think that's a really good idea and is relatively inexpensive. Of course these days everyone has a digital with them, but you're not likely to get those pictures...

11/9/2008 2:53:13 AM

HayleyToye
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^That usually doesn't turn out so good. My friends that tried that mostly got pictures of food and people making dumb faces.

Quote :
"how do you people pay for your weddings? do your parents pay part/most/all? do you save up money and pay cash? do you finance it? or put it on credit cards?"


We paid for:
Ceremony fee
Honeymoon
Bridal party gifts

My parents paid for:
Reception food
Cake
Wedding gown + accessories
Photographer
Invitations
Hair and make-up

His parents paid for:
Alcohol at reception
Videographer
DJ
Rehearsal dinner

We got married at Fearrington in Pittsboro, NC on October 25th. Our wedding was amazing. Yes, it was pricey...but we are so fortunate to have been able to pay for everything up front- no debt!! I am DYING to get my professional pics back.

[Edited on November 9, 2008 at 10:20 AM. Reason : .]

11/9/2008 10:19:45 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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Quote :
"Hey, so what are some really cool things or interesting ideas that you guys have seen or done at a reception? "


Last year I went to a Japanese wedding, which for the most part was pretty weird. But some of the more amusing/interesting things they did were:

* A slide show of the bride and groom as kids up until they met each other
* The groom was a teacher so one of our coworkers had the students from his homeroom class make a congratulations video that was shown at the reception. It was pretty funny.
* Some random dude did a karate demonstration.

* After the bride changed her dress for the millionth time they went around and lit fireworks candles that were on everyone's tables.

* The Japanese equivalent of the best man lead a bingo game (they fucking love bingo in this country). You could win some sweet ass prizes like a Wii or iPod.

* The time capsule candle, which I know I've mentioned before. This is one of the few things I've seen here that I would definitely be interested in doing at my own wedding.

11/10/2008 8:32:05 AM

Kodiak
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Quote :
""


Never thought I'd see St. Mary's on TWW.

11/22/2008 10:23:32 AM

Smath74
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devil had my tongue.

[Edited on November 22, 2008 at 10:33 AM. Reason : ]

11/22/2008 10:29:15 AM

khcadwal
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i am not engaged or anywhere close to being engaged or anything like that

but a girl can dream right? so in my mind, since i am a raleigh native and an ncsu grad (duh), i thought it would be cool to get married outside somewhere like the raleigh little theatre rose garden or the j c raulston arboretum (has anyone done that before??) and then have the reception at the new alumni center on centennial (has anyone done this before or been to a reception there? i know it is new so prob not).

but that will probably change. and is probably kinda lame, but in my mind it seems cool

i also think it'd be cool to go somewhere in the mtns and everyone would stay at the same b&b or whatever and again...outside wedding. i know they are risky, but they are just more me than an inside wedding. i really like my church (it is pretty) but i'm not that religious and right now my heart is set on outside but when i'm 40 and finally get married maybe i'll be singing a different tune

11/22/2008 1:58:39 PM

Gzusfrk
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I had a friend get married in the Rose Garden. Very pretty, very simple ceremony, and then we walked to a historic house to do the reception nearby. It was done very well.

I would love to get married at the Bell Tower, but the fiance said no.

11/22/2008 3:36:05 PM

mcfluffle
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^^the alumni bldg is gorgeous, and they have specific room preparations for wedding business, but holy hell i imagine you'd be paying out of the ass for awhile on that

11/22/2008 6:07:48 PM

OmarBadu
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Quote :
"and then have the reception at the new alumni center on centennial (has anyone done this before or been to a reception there? i know it is new so prob not)."


Oeuvre had his wedding reception there and i went (wife was in the wedding) - it was very nice - i was impressed

11/22/2008 6:17:53 PM

tartsquid
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So what do you do if your family and your fiance's family are from different places, very far apart, and you don't live particularly close to either of them? It seems unfair to say you get married where the bride lives by default. Do you just consider whose family can afford/has time for the transportation when deciding?

Not that I'm engaged, but I've been wondering this lately.

11/22/2008 7:20:27 PM

mcfluffle
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^you say "fuck it, i'm getting married how i want it. kthx."

11/22/2008 7:21:43 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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^^ That exact situation caused so much drama when my one friend got married. The groom's parents were being crazy unreasonable about the whole thing. It got to the point that they finally said fuck it and had the wedding where they wanted to have it rather than trying to please both sides of the family.

Quote :
"the j c raulston arboretum"


My friend getting married next year looked into that. She decided against it because they had rules like no amplified music and no alcohol if you have the reception there.

11/22/2008 7:30:49 PM

elkaybie
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Quote :
"and then have the reception at the new alumni center on centennial (has anyone done this before or been to a reception there? i know it is new so prob not)."


went to a wedding and reception there. wedding was outside just to the right of the building, cocktail hour in the lobby, and reception was in the ball room. very nice. i suggest renting a dance floor...the marble floor was not kind on the feet.

11/24/2008 8:42:47 AM

forkgirl
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Went to school at St. Mary......My family still goes.

My husband's family was adamant about it being in Raleigh and I basically said they were welcome to go to St. Michael's in Cary on August 23, but we would not be there. That pretty much ended the whole conversation. That was the second time the discussion had come up.

I could not have gotten married here if I wanted to because his family would have hijacked the whole thing. Their whole vision was not at all what I wanted.

11/24/2008 7:43:58 PM

elkaybie
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Anyone here used http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com for their invitations? were you happy with the quality?

12/16/2008 12:24:45 PM

Squirt
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I will prolly never get married, but in case I do, I want a wedding either in the fall when all the leaves are changing or in the winter WITH snow on the ground... The fall wedding is more of a guarantee if ts planned in NC and the snow in the winter (hell even fall) would be best in CO where most of my family live anyways. I even found a church in Estes I would like to marry in, but I am sure it is way beyond what I could ever afford.






I couldn't imagine wearing a dress when it is hot... Thats all I want on my wedding day is to be waiting outside for pictures and sweat running down my back...

12/16/2008 1:00:50 PM

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