My girlfriend is American born but of a culture that is completely different from mine. Her folks want her to marry someone that is of the same culture as theirs and from a wealthy family (I dont belong in either of those categories).

The first four months were great, some of the best of my life. We have been joined at the hip and enjoy every minute of it.

But we just ignored the fact that it was a secret kept from her parents. Now, she asks me to "slow down" so that she does not regret anything in case she "walks down the isle with someone else".

Does this mean that everything is coming to an end and the cultural difference can not be settled?

3/31/2008 12:09:09 AM

you shouldn't have posted this in chit chat

3/31/2008 12:09:41 AM

she's fucking another dude. sorry man.

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 12:10 AM. Reason : this is why you shouldn't post this in shit shat]

3/31/2008 12:09:43 AM

3/31/2008 12:09:59 AM

damn man



basically, yes.

3/31/2008 12:10:40 AM

i think the clear solution here is to make your fortune, and then buy a tacky mansion next to hers.

3/31/2008 12:11:01 AM

But papi I love hiiim!

3/31/2008 12:11:28 AM

in the same spirit as punchmonk's words...

Too deep for 1:11 AM. Bump this in the morning

3/31/2008 12:11:34 AM

she's most likely Asian.

3/31/2008 12:11:47 AM

i'm calling indian

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 12:12 AM. Reason : or catholic]

3/31/2008 12:12:08 AM

Get her family deported

3/31/2008 12:12:14 AM

hahah

wow

if she leaves you, she's a fucking bitch.

3/31/2008 12:12:14 AM

^ not a bitter guy

3/31/2008 12:13:01 AM

3/31/2008 12:13:19 AM

3/31/2008 12:14:10 AM

so you had a big purple elephant in the room for four months

and now that it's making noise and destroying things and doing all the evil things big purple elephants do...

lament not addressing it sooner... not the fact that it's there.

3/31/2008 12:14:24 AM

in the same spirit as punchmonk's words...

Too deep for 1:11 AM. Bump this in the morning

3/31/2008 12:14:26 AM

Psstt, your clock's fast.

3/31/2008 12:16:24 AM

did i say that was the time? i said it was too deep for 1:11 AM

3/31/2008 12:18:18 AM

i'm calling indian

3/31/2008 12:18:18 AM

i would guess asian, myself.

3/31/2008 12:18:39 AM

i've NEVER seen a white guy with an indian

white and asian, however, isn't unheard of

especially growing up in the marine corps

3/31/2008 12:19:33 AM

My advice would be restarting this thread in the lounge or perhaps old school

3/31/2008 12:19:42 AM

Quote :

"Now, she asks me to "slow down" so that she does not regret anything in case she "walks down the isle with someone else"."

Who says this? Really. I've heard of always having your next job lined up, but not your next relationship. Run, don't walk.

3/31/2008 12:20:22 AM

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 12:21 AM. Reason : -->

3/31/2008 12:20:25 AM

Been there done that. Depends on your age, but have as much fun as you can. See how comfortable she is in social settings

3/31/2008 12:20:30 AM

HEY JUDGE

message_topic.aspx?topic=519591&page=10

3/31/2008 12:20:34 AM

india is in asia

3/31/2008 12:21:04 AM

lots of people think Indian...that's not good

3/31/2008 12:21:59 AM

^well then what is it

when someone says 'asian' you think


'indian' refers to


[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 12:23 AM. Reason : formatting]

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 12:24 AM. Reason : out with it man]

3/31/2008 12:23:28 AM

Quote :

"lots of people think Indian...that's not good"

listen man, we're not here to guess all night.

what is she? pics would be preferable.

3/31/2008 12:24:48 AM

Quote :

"pics tits would be preferable."

3/31/2008 12:25:36 AM

Yeh she's probably a Indian chick.

3/31/2008 12:26:35 AM

Indian family


But it is not that I am hating on their culture. I just feel that if their daughter is American and lives in America, then why not let her date like an American?

I also don't understand how they are not concerned with the type of guy that she is with, only that he comes from a good family.

They met her last bf (the dude was loaded with cash b/c of a rich family), and he was controlling and manipulative.

3/31/2008 12:30:30 AM

those people

yeah ok bed time for me

3/31/2008 12:31:56 AM

RAWR DAWG.

get her pregnant, that'll change her parents mind

3/31/2008 12:32:26 AM

if she doesn't disagree with the culture of her parents, then you have no hope.

3/31/2008 12:33:09 AM

You're gonna have to let her decide what she wants to do

If she doesn't feel the relationship has value over her family's bias, don't beat yourself up over it and let it go.

A healthy relationship involves two people who like each other for WHO they are, not WHAT they are.

Don't try holding on to someone who wouldn't try to hold on to you.

3/31/2008 12:33:13 AM

^http://www.thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=519591&page=10

3/31/2008 12:33:48 AM

Parents of rich chicks suck and it sounds like your relationship is in its last throes. I'm sorry buddy.

3/31/2008 12:34:44 AM

^7 The idea of kids having absolute say in who they marry is quaint to a large portion of the globe. I mean I'm not talking about arranged marriage or legally enforceable control over children's marriage choices (sometimes that's true, but not what I'm talking about.) Anyways, for a very large chunk of the world the idea that someone's wife or husband should be someone thuroughly approved of by the family is pretty standard. It's not that much more tyrannical or small minded than someones parents deciding their children's religion for them. That's pretty standard practice here - to the point where people don't even recognize that its what they're doing.

Anyways, maybe if you were more understanding of where they're coming from you might have more of a chance. They're afraid of their daughter losing touch with her heritage and culture by assimilating. Even people who marry inside their own culture still gradually lose touch with it sometimes. Marrying a white or black american guy would, if you looked at it objectively, increase the chance that her children would be much less likely to have a firm grasp of their (the parents') culture. If you made an effort to understand and embrace their culture that could go a long way to calm them down. I'm not saying you can end bigotry, but what they feel isn't that simple. Start with understanding, talk to her, maybe get to talk to them. If it's gotten to the point where she's seeing someone else on the side or preparing for "the inevitable" then maybe it's too late.

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 12:42 AM. Reason : ]

3/31/2008 12:41:57 AM

shut up

3/31/2008 12:42:38 AM

Yeah, but I was hoping that I could hold on for as long as possible.

I have been in a physical relationship before, and this one isn't but it is much better than anything that I have ever had.

I just don't want it to end when everything is going great, and to have the only reason to end it be a fear of what people may think.

3/31/2008 12:43:56 AM

I wouldnt want my daughter marrying a poor, good for nothing bum



although I cant decide if you fit the description, why don't you elaborate on what is going on in your life.


Any Job offers ?

Would you consider yourself well spoken ?

Teeth looking good ?

How do you dress ?


etc... ... ... ... ... .. . . . .

3/31/2008 12:44:35 AM

^^ I hope you're not asking her to make the choice between her parents and you. I know people who's parents effectively disowned them for marrying against their will. If you're putting her in the position to chose between you and her family then you might not care enough about HER happiness for something this difficult to work.

That might be what it boils down to of course, but my point is that if you're not willing to make sacrifices yourself to try to avoid it then no woman in her right mind would ditch her family for you. Good luck man- I know where you're coming from here.

3/31/2008 12:49:47 AM

1. Not poor, I am a grad student on a TA. I just had to work hard to get here because my family split up a long time ago, and I was raised by a single mom.

2. teeth look fine, and I dress well now because she has started shopping for me. But before I was not a slob, just not as fancy looking because I was from a low income family.

3. i graduated summa

3/31/2008 12:50:52 AM

you might want to cut your hair.


the redneck look is very much looked down upon by other cultures.

3/31/2008 12:53:01 AM

bttt... for the morning crew

3/31/2008 5:36:03 AM

Have you offered to speak with the parents?

3/31/2008 5:45:37 AM

saving herself is fine, but when she states, "walk down the isle with someone else," I'd stop that shit right there. That's basically admitting that she doesn't want to marry you/honestly believes ya'll won't make it.

Let's be honest here, everyone, in the back of their mind, has doubts if they will marry the person they are with at the time, but you NEVER admit that. You live your life, and if you end up marrying that person, then it was meant to be.

I compare it to a prenup. Though I agree with them if one has lots of money, and the other doesn't, signing one basically states that you plan on the marriage failing.

In conclusion, I would seriously think about moving on, or at least having a serious chat with her. I know she's from a different culture, but she's in America, she is an American, so she needs to adapt to our culture, somewhat (she doesn't need to abondon her original culture, just absorb some of her American culture), and with that said, she shouldn't say things like that. "I want to wait until I'm married" is fine, but not, "in case we don't make it, I don't want you popping my cherry."

3/31/2008 6:02:42 AM