i've been w. my gf almost 3 yrs now and we were talking about moving in together. long story short we could buy a 2 bedroom town home for LESS than we'd pay in rent each month.and i love her but i gotta cover my ass. i guess it would just be a matter of finding a lawyer to draft up something saying what would happen if we ever broke up , decided to sell, died,etc. etc.anyone have any advice on this? maybe student legal service could help?

4/9/2008 2:25:16 PM

Should we just go ahead and make the thread for you to come to to bitch and cry when this goes terribly wrong when you guys break up and how she totally shafted you and it was a big mistake, or do you just want to wait till it actually happens? I'm cool doing it either way so its totally up to you.

4/9/2008 2:26:59 PM

just because it's cheaper right now doesn't necessarily mean it's a good idea

4/9/2008 2:27:51 PM

Don't do it


Do not fucking do it until you're married

4/9/2008 2:28:26 PM

^

4/9/2008 2:31:10 PM

Worst idea ever. Remember when your mom used to yell "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"? This applies here....

4/9/2008 2:31:28 PM

Don't do it


Do not fucking do it until you're married

4/9/2008 2:31:56 PM

^

[Edited on April 9, 2008 at 2:32 PM. Reason : ^]

4/9/2008 2:31:58 PM

Quote :

"Do not fucking do it until you're married"

being married doesn't guarantee it will turn out any better/worse.

personally I don't think it's automatically a bad idea, but like anything it will take the proper planning.

4/9/2008 2:32:54 PM

Quote :

"Should we just go ahead and make the thread for you to come to to bitch and cry when this goes terribly wrong when you guys break up and how she totally shafted you and it was a big mistake, or do you just want to wait till it actually happens? I'm cool doing it either way so its totally up to you."

Should have just locked it up right here. Perfectly said.

4/9/2008 2:33:03 PM

buy it and make her pay rent

4/9/2008 2:34:02 PM

Buy it and make her pay rent.

[Edited on April 9, 2008 at 2:34 PM. Reason : ]

4/9/2008 2:34:03 PM

Quote :

"Don't do it Do not fucking do it until you're married"

4/9/2008 2:34:49 PM

paging djeternal


worst idea ever....

i bet you'll resent the hell out of her when you end up paying all the bills even though you told her that was fine as long as she "cooks and cleans and keeps the place nice"

4/9/2008 2:35:22 PM

^^Definitely but it and make her pay rent.

If you guys have been dating for three years and plan on getting married, then this is the best possible solution.

If she bitches about it...tell her it just makes for less paperwork for one person to be the buyer. If she's dumb like most girls, then this excuse will suffice.

4/9/2008 2:35:47 PM

\\nm.

[Edited on April 9, 2008 at 2:39 PM. Reason : ]

4/9/2008 2:39:03 PM

Well whose planning on making the payments? Is it just coming out of your money, or are you splitting it?

4/9/2008 2:41:16 PM

i wouldn't even give my last serious bf a key to my house....and apparently we were going to get married....

there is no way i would have let him move in with me

4/9/2008 2:42:28 PM

we did it....but we were also together for 6 years and knew we were going to get married.

it was a risk, but everything worked out ok. we had lived together in an apartment for a year and wanted to settle down and not move anymore....plus we had too much stuff, so it wasn't feasible for us to move ourselves anymore. it was more for convenience (and building wealth) then for anything else.

as far as money was concerned....we just divided up the payment according to the ratio of our incomes. i made a little more, so i paid a little more.

in contrast i had a friend who bought a house with her girlfriend. they recently broke up and its been a real pain to figure out who gets the house and how to deal with it.

i would just look at your own situation....you know it better then anyone else.

[Edited on April 9, 2008 at 2:50 PM. Reason : d]

4/9/2008 2:43:26 PM

just get married and do it.....then when you get divorced, you'll be forced to give her half of everything instead of just selling the house and splitting the money.

4/9/2008 2:44:24 PM

if you're engaged and it's for a short period of time beforehand then i could make a concession...

but other than that....forget it

4/9/2008 2:45:03 PM

^^The moving in together isn't the point. Its the buying of a house together before you are married to that person.

4/9/2008 2:47:47 PM

Listen. I know this may seem like a great idea, but it's just not. In a somewhat related story, I had two of my best friends buy a house together in college. It worked out really well for them the first year, but then one of them (Friend A)had a g/f move in that eventually became a wife, and the other Friend B and her just did not get along. Friend B eventually moved out and the wife changed the locks.... lots of hard feelings and it ended up ruining their friendship. Fortunately, Friend B had a fairly level head and just decided to sever all ties and give up any equity that was built to Friend A. If he wanted to pursue it things would have gotten really messy and really ugly.

So why am I telling you this? I really believe had one of the friends just bought the house alone and rented out to the other, things would not have gone south like they did. One friend could have moved out way before things got how they did, and they probably would have stayed good friends vice people who won't speak to eachother anymore.

It's obvious that this is more than a short term fling with this girl. It's also obvious that you want to share something big with her. Why you aren't married yet... I dunno, not my business but between that and the fact that you are thinking about talking to a lawyer so you can "cover your ass" just tells me that this is a really bad idea.

4/9/2008 2:48:40 PM

Quote :

"^^The moving in together isn't the point. Its the buying of a house together before you are married to that person."

I understand that, but how is drawing up an agreement via a lawyer (i.e. each party "owns" half) any different than entering into marriage w/ or w/o a prenup?

If they have something in writing, in all actuality it will probably be easier to deal with upon breaking up than a divorce would be.

4/9/2008 3:02:43 PM

not my business

4/9/2008 3:02:55 PM

Just buy it and make her pay rent. If she isn't willing to do that, how do you think buying a house with her will turn out?

4/9/2008 3:10:57 PM

I agree with one person buying the house and the other paying rent. Until yall get married and combine finances and all that stuff, that would be the easiest way. Maybe just charge her half the interest plus half of utilities... or a nice flat rate. But don't get greedy with the rent...

4/9/2008 3:13:11 PM

Quote :

"Just buy it and make her pay rent. If she isn't willing to do that, how do you think buying a house with her will turn out?"

but what if they split? then he is stuck covering the mortgage on his own. It's risky dude

4/9/2008 3:18:52 PM

I mean short of getting her pregnant, there is no way you could marry yourself to her more than owning a piece of real estate together. There are way to many financial ramifications to take a decision like this lightly.

I suggest one of you buy the home independently (assuming one of you qualifies by yourself) and then if you all want to live together and share the bills go on with that. That way if you part ways it is not a drawn out legal mess. Whoever does not own the house can pack up and start over realizing that during that time they would have been paying rent anyway.

Also from the standpoint of owning real estate, do not bother buying a 2 bedroom townhouse if you are only going to own it for a couple of years. They appreciate very slowly, and take longer to sell than single family homes. Selling the home costs money too so if you do not see enough appreciation during the time you own it then you are going to barely break even when you sell it.

The best thing to do is get her to buy the townhouse, if you end up getting married and buying a detached home keep that thing as a rental. If you end up parting ways before that happens you can move out and start over.

4/9/2008 3:24:45 PM

That is his call, if he is set on doing it. Finding another roommate is a bit easier than working out the ownership of real estate. At the end of the day, he still owns the place. He still obviously needs to be mindful of his finances and the risks involved, just as anyone should before buying anything.

[Edited on April 9, 2008 at 3:27 PM. Reason : .]

4/9/2008 3:26:23 PM

And for the record, I have never known anyone that "broke even" on a townhouse or condo, much less made money.

4/9/2008 3:28:35 PM

Quote :

"but what if they split? then he is stuck covering the mortgage on his own. It's risky dude"

Then he can find another roommate. Trust me, it will be a lot easier to find another roommate than it will be to try and figure out how to split a house with an ex-gf.

4/9/2008 3:29:10 PM

Quote :

"how to split a house with an ex-gf"

1. sell the house

2. pay off the mortgage

3. split what's left over


that being said, 1 owner/ 1 renter seems like a good way to go.

4/9/2008 3:33:17 PM

my initial thoughts were just to buy and have her pay rent, but the thing is we're both in the position to buy the place. so for both of us it would be advantageous to buy and have the other just pay rent... of course ownership is the big key here. why pay half to rent when you could pay half and own?

4/9/2008 3:34:08 PM

^Exactly, don't do it.

4/9/2008 3:39:38 PM

Quote :

"why pay half to rent when you could pay half and own?"

Why would it matter if you're going to get married anyways??

4/9/2008 3:39:44 PM

we've talked about marriage , kids, family etc. and that seems like now that's the direction we're headed. not that i don't see it happening ... i 'd just rather be covered if it doesn't

4/9/2008 3:45:11 PM

^Then don't do it.

4/9/2008 4:09:35 PM

If you're going to do it....pay a good lawyer to write the contract up right. Poorly written contracts have tons of loopholes.

The biggest problem people face when going into a house together (friends or people in relationships) is what to do with the house when one person wants to get out. Sale the house and split the proceeds, or have one person keep the house and buy the other person out. So make sure every possibility is covered in the contract with a simple solution.

4/9/2008 4:13:22 PM

just do it. if you see yourself with this girl in the future, go for it.

4/9/2008 4:25:56 PM

Have you lived together at all yet? That might be a logical first step, get a 6 mo lease together as a trial run. If its all fantastic after that, it might be more logical to buy. That $100 a month or whatever you spend extra on rent might end up being worth it in the end.

4/9/2008 4:31:28 PM

Quote :

"And for the record, I have never known anyone that "broke even" on a townhouse or condo, much less made money."

now you do. mine appraised for $25k more than I bought it for 2 years ago when I refinanced recently.

back to the topic at hand, if you are dead set that you are going to buy it together, EVERYTHING must be in writing. you will be 'tenants in common' and the paperwork for something like that is pretty standard for any real estate lawyer.

otherwise, one of you buy it and pay rent to the other.

4/9/2008 4:43:39 PM

Quote :

"why pay half to rent when you could pay half and own?"

If both of you would prefer to keep throwing money at rent every month than see the other realize the incidental benefits of ownership, I really don't see a future for you.

4/9/2008 4:54:36 PM

Here is what I would do:
Make her pay $100 less per month than you with the understanding that the extra $100 goes into a savings account. If you get married that money can be used for your honeymoon or some other "shared" item (new furniture, vacation, etc.) If you split up she gets the cash to use however she pleases (down payment on her own place, moving expenses, etc.)

So if the mortgage/insurance/taxes add up to $900 you pay $500 and she pays $400. The extra $100/month will add up over the next couple of years and you are effectively both paying the same rate ($500 a month) while saving some cash you might not otherwise be saving.

Y'all can decide who does the actual buying/renting or adjust the $100 up or down to whatever you think is fair.

Then again, if you're not 100% sure about getting married just buy what you want where you want and worry about the other details later.

[Edited on April 9, 2008 at 5:15 PM. Reason : l]

4/9/2008 5:10:57 PM

be a man and buy it on your own....make her pay the rent

4/9/2008 5:13:12 PM

My condo appraised for $25K more than my offer. Hopefully it stays that way

Looking at it from the practical point of view, when/if shit goes bad the separation is way harder than it has to be. I had a break up from hell because everything was intertwined. It's a lot harder to move on when you have to constantly see each other to give shit back

4/9/2008 5:27:30 PM

Quote :

"Make her pay $100 less per month than you with the understanding that the extra $100 goes into a savings account. If you get married that money can be used for your honeymoon or some other "shared" item (new furniture, vacation, etc.) If you split up she gets the cash to use however she pleases (down payment on her own place, moving expenses, etc.)"

Nothing like treating your future wife like a teenager.......

4/9/2008 5:27:35 PM

^She could be good with money...but I'd say that 80% of women her age need to be treated like that anyways (and probably about 60% of men).

Most young people in general are shitty with money...and women are worse then men. Don't get mad because he's stating facts.

4/9/2008 5:31:44 PM

Quote :

"Nothing like treating your future wife like a teenager......."

What do you mean? It seems like a good way for them to get the place they want and put away $1200 per year that they can enjoy later. It seems really fair to me. :shrug:

4/9/2008 5:46:37 PM

set em up

4/9/2008 5:48:30 PM