Is this healthy? Or is it some euphemism for a license to cheat?

9/15/2008 10:57:40 PM

You're fucked

9/15/2008 10:58:16 PM

whoever said they wanted a break wants to tag or get tagged various times

9/15/2008 10:58:28 PM

cancel christmas

9/15/2008 10:59:00 PM

Quote :

"euphemism for a license to cheat"

[Edited on September 15, 2008 at 10:59 PM. Reason : i know from experience ]

9/15/2008 10:59:24 PM

Quote :

"euphemism for a license to cheat"

9/15/2008 11:00:27 PM

Quote :

"euphemism for a license to cheat"

9/15/2008 11:00:48 PM

Thinking about taking one

9/15/2008 11:01:07 PM

its not cheating if you aren't dating

at least they respect you enough to not go behind your back

so you have a duty to bang someone else and not tell him about it
seriously, fucking other people might be healthy

[Edited on September 15, 2008 at 11:02 PM. Reason : my brain is wrecked - damn you grad school!]

9/15/2008 11:01:29 PM

a break? ha! Honestly anyone who tells you they want a break, just doesn't want to be with you at all.

9/15/2008 11:02:21 PM

Well, especially after almost 2 years.

9/15/2008 11:03:41 PM

other person wants out of the relationship and does not have enough balls to break it off completely.

9/15/2008 11:04:29 PM

if its been that long then confront the person and ask them if they are questioning being with you

maybe they're contemplating moving things in the relationship to the next level but are afraid they'll miss out on their youth so they want to sow some wild oats (i.e. do blow off of sluts they met at Hooters) for a month before they commit

do you live together?

is he presently planning a trip somewhere with his friends?

9/15/2008 11:05:52 PM

He is two hours away at school.

9/15/2008 11:06:48 PM

some euphemism for a license to cheat

9/15/2008 11:07:00 PM

Quote :

"other person wants out of the relationship and does not have enough balls to break it off completely."

bingo

9/15/2008 11:07:16 PM

This is what I wrote over the weekend:

Quote :

"You've become a pathological liar. It's not about me not trusting you anymore, but you need to figure out why you are the way you are. And it starts with being honest with me. These impulses to cheat [name], it doesn't require any explanation other than: You don't know why you want to be with me. You may feel like there is another person out there. Because think about, things happened so fast with us there was really no time to think. No time to look for potentially something "better" out there, so to speak. But we went with this, hopped on the merry go round because it was too exciting in the beginning to stop. Trust, me when we first dated I thought this same thing: "How do I even know if this guy is right for me, things are happening too fast." It's like a tug of war with your feelings, and you don't know what to do about me. This is me in the car on the way back, trying to ration this. Am I right? Well I have this tug of war with my feelings too. I can't imagine what it would be like without you; to start over again. But on the other end, I shouldn't give a pathological liar so many chances, and should just cut my losses."

9/15/2008 11:08:32 PM

Quote :

"This is me in the car on the way back, trying to ration this."

What?

Quote :

"Honestly anyone who tells you they want a break, just doesn't want to be with you at all."

[Edited on September 15, 2008 at 11:10 PM. Reason : .]

9/15/2008 11:10:21 PM

good riddance

[Edited on September 15, 2008 at 11:13 PM. Reason : VVthx]

9/15/2008 11:10:32 PM

I think a lot of people feel the way I do in a relationship this long, as far as the "tug of war" with feelings go.

I don't think he knows what he wants either. Because I told him, if you want out, you simply just need to move on. But he hasn't done that.

But do not understand why he continues to lie. Is it to protect me or to protect himself.

I told him being HONEST will get us through anything.

WHY do people lie.

9/15/2008 11:10:46 PM

riddance

9/15/2008 11:10:54 PM

this is what you get for spreading dem legs so quick


its all your fault

9/15/2008 11:11:08 PM

maybe there's a reason he's leaving

9/15/2008 11:11:47 PM

okay he met somebody new, or he thinks he did

so you're going to have to confront this and work it out

you may have to give him permission to see other people for a while and then try things again... he'll probably fail a bit and realize what he was leaving or move on - either way you're in a better position than now; you should also see other people so that you don't feel resentment later if things do work out between you

either way this won't be "fun" and it will require a lot of communicating - hope he's not a total faggot and knows how to talk about his feelings

2 hours away? damn, my girlfriend is 9 hours out - totally different region

9/15/2008 11:11:55 PM

haha wat

9/15/2008 11:13:42 PM

he lies because he's stupid

9/15/2008 11:14:04 PM

does he lie to you or does he omit shit because he's ashamed?

9/15/2008 11:14:36 PM

do you have spell/grammar check?

also

Quote :

"ok, well...you know he's going to come back and realize what I meant to him, and no one else can take my place. "

manipulative much?

[Edited on September 15, 2008 at 11:15 PM. Reason : .]

9/15/2008 11:14:40 PM

Well, actually. I was the one who brought up the idea of a "break".

In my mind, I thought, ok, well...you know he's going to come back and realize what I meant to him, and no one else can take my place.

But Im not going to take that chance.

We tried to break up before ( his ball was in his court), but after a few days he calls me up and says, "No I don't want to break up, I can't see myself without you"

So he is def. torn too, he doesnt know what to do.

At this point, I don't now what Im going to do yet.

9/15/2008 11:14:43 PM

He lies, and then I drill him some more, and then when he realizes, he's dug a hole, he confesses, but I know he omits stuff.

9/15/2008 11:15:47 PM

ah hell, i'll do it.


bwn?

9/15/2008 11:16:02 PM

^ took almost 20 mins for that...wow.

[Edited on September 15, 2008 at 11:17 PM. Reason : .]

9/15/2008 11:17:18 PM

why even put up with that bullshit? if someone can't be honest with you after so long, that's a huge red flag.

9/15/2008 11:17:50 PM

give it up, its been 2 yrs already

it's run its course

move on

9/15/2008 11:18:15 PM

girl you need to drop that zero and get yourself a hero

I mean its not what I'd do but most people would, I guess... that's the folk wisdom or whatever

see I'm lucky to be in an Irish relationship

9/15/2008 11:18:53 PM

Yeah we're fucked inevitably.


This is not unusual though. I mean, the ones that haven't gone through anything like this will never understand how difficult it is to cut your loss after this long.

9/15/2008 11:19:23 PM

yup, youre comfortable

which is why you suggested break instead of get lost asshole

9/15/2008 11:20:40 PM

i've been there and done that, which is why i'm offering my expert advice ITT.

9/15/2008 11:21:10 PM

girl, you'll be alright

ya Dr. Phil me?

9/15/2008 11:22:21 PM

It took me an entire YEAR to actually decide it needed to be over. You don't see it now but once you're out and moved on to bigger and better things you'll realize just how much of a mistake sticking WITH him was/is.

AIYO TECHNOLOGAY
WHY DONT YOU COME SIT ON TOP OF MAY

9/15/2008 11:24:04 PM

yah, most ppl would just sit in there till the bitter end

trying to self sabbotage the relationship and make them be the bad one

9/15/2008 11:25:20 PM

Quote :

"LICENSE TO CHEAT"

9/15/2008 11:30:21 PM

Quote :

"euphemism for a license to cheat"

Not that it is always a bad thing. Sometimes we need the space (and some of us need the ass) to work things out.

9/15/2008 11:31:40 PM

Quote :

" But do not understand why he continues to lie. Is it to protect me or to protect himself. "

To protect himself from cruel, rational reality.

9/15/2008 11:31:49 PM

as said before, you're fucked

9/15/2008 11:37:09 PM

9/15/2008 11:42:18 PM

break

me


off


a


piece


of


that


kit


kat



bar

9/15/2008 11:43:56 PM

I'm sure that it hurts to even consider the possibility right now, but you need to get the hell out of that relationship. Either he doesn't know what he wants or he's trying to have it both ways, but either way he's no good for you. You've given him his opportunities to mend his ways, you've given him his space, you've tried keeping all communication channels open, and still he's sneaking around. Nobody who is a half-decent person would continue to act as he has after all of that. Now is the time for you to put your foot down and dump him on his ass.

9/15/2008 11:46:55 PM

how do you know she's tried?

9/15/2008 11:47:29 PM

I don't, I'm just making suggestions based off of what I've read in this thread.

9/15/2008 11:48:11 PM