I'm not married yet, but I was wondering how most married people our age (haha) set up all their finances.

Who pays the rent, utilities and other regular bills? If certain items are split then how did you arrive at a percentage?

How many checking/savings accounts are used (besides the retirement and investment stuff). What kinds of joint accounts do you have and how are they setup/grown? I assume you each have accounts with your "own" money in them right?

9/18/2008 9:21:41 AM

1 checking, 1 savings account. We both put our entire paycheck into the pot.

All bills are paid out of the pot, then savings set aside. Any spending beyond that we typically make decisions on together--except for little stuff, of course. Luckily, we have very similar views on money management and so it has worked well for us.

9/18/2008 9:34:47 AM

I'd be hard pressed to do that. Then again I'm not married, so we'll see if things change when I find "the one"

9/18/2008 9:50:40 AM

Not saying it's for everyone, but neither of us are big frivolous spenders and like I said, we have very similar views on money management so it hasn't been an issue thus far.

We are much more likely to bitch and fight over house cleaning and chores, where we are very different.

9/18/2008 9:58:14 AM

we have a high yield checking account with ING where both our salaries are direct deposited and all our bills and expenses are paid from. at the beginning of the month we each get an "allowance" that comes from the joint account and goes to our seperate checking accounts that we use for personal things. we also have a joint savings account where we put money that we are saving for big items (like home renovations etc). we contribute to that account once a month as well.

[Edited on September 18, 2008 at 10:01 AM. Reason : f]

9/18/2008 10:00:36 AM

my wife and i make about the same amount - i think we'd have the same system though even if we didn't - we're pretty close to jocristian

1 b&m checking and savings account - 1 high yield online savings account

b&m savings account holds the minimum for our account type so we get a free safety deposit box and free blah blah blah

b&m checking is where direct deposit for both of us goes - although a portion of my wife's goes directly to the high yield account

online account is used for our x # of mo. of living costs in case ____ happens and where we store money when we are saving up for something in particular

wife pays all of the non-autodraft bills that need to be handwritten out of b&m checking - minus credit card bills and i pay all of those online

we're both good with money and don't fight about it - it's understood that any big purchases are discussed and anything small just go ahead and get

the only thing we do have somewhat separate is our credit cards - i have 3 personal but only carry 1 around daily and she has a copy for that 1 - she has 1 personal that i don't have a copy of - we both have all of the online login info and both of us check it from time to time

9/18/2008 10:17:50 AM

We just have one checking account and one savings account, and I'm in charge of finances. My wife hates dealing with financial stuff.

9/18/2008 10:18:09 AM

personally, i would never merge my finances. if i ever get married, i'll have a common account that we'd both contribute to for groceries, family vacations, dining out together, etc (and potentially mortgage/rent, depending on the circumstances). other than that, i'd keep my finances totally seperate. i'd also require a pre-nup.

then again, i've been burned by our stupid family law system, and watched my dad get burned even worse. Not again, though.

9/18/2008 10:23:45 AM

really? i dont ever remember you mentioning that before.

9/18/2008 10:24:51 AM

Yeah. Really.

9/18/2008 10:27:02 AM

We just have 1 checking and one savings. I manage everything financial for us.

I do track two separate "virtual" accounts in Quicken. We each have a personal spending account, and X dollars from each paycheck go into it. We are free to spend that money no questions asked on things we want. For example, my wife saved hers for like 6 months and bought a laptop. We also use that earmarked money to buy gifts and stuff for each other for anniv./birthdays.

Any purchases we need to make outside of our personal spending accounts, we typically discuss.

9/18/2008 10:30:43 AM

i like the idea of one checking on savings for joint expenses

and a separate personal account to buy gifts, whatever you want, etc.

im also a fan of the ol prenup

in my opinion, separate accounts, splitting everything etc will breed resentment for the person who earns less or the person earning more and feeling like the other is "spending all their money"

of course as long as both parties are comfortable with the arrangement and in agreement, thats what will work best for them

9/18/2008 12:45:25 PM

What You Need to Know About Couples & Money
Section: LIVING
LOWDOWN

Share most decisions, but keep a few accounts and assets separate

FOR STARTING FIGHTS, MONEY BEATS SEX. Different levels of discomfort with spending and credit-card debt are common fodder for flareups. When partners haven't agreed on priorities, they may even lie about their spending. According to one poll, more than 80% of respondents admitted that they hid purchases from their partner.
YOU CAN AGREE TO DISAGREE. Ruth Hayden, a financial counselor and author of For Richer; Not Poorer: The Money Book for Couples (HCI, $12.95). teaches her clients four money-management cornerstones: talk regularly, be respectful, do what you say you're going to do and compromise. "Compromise isn't about loss," says Hayden. For example, if one of you likes to buy highflying stocks and the other gets nervous about investing in a money fund, you can set a limit oil how much goes into risky investments-or into low-interest accounts.
GIVE IN TO THE URGE TO MERGE. Combining some of your finances is a plus. For example, when you're buying a home, you often need two incomes to qualify. When you sell, tip to $500,000 of the profit ix tax-free (singles get to write off only $250,000). Filing taxes jointly is almost always a financial boon. too. And opening a joint bank account for household expenses may boost your balance, reduce fees and give a surviving spouse immediate access to some money. But you may want to maintain separate checking accounts, and each of you should keep at least one credit card in your own name.
SHARE THE BIG STUFF. Women are more likely to handle the household budget, and men tend to be in charge of investing, debt repayment and retirement savings, Result: More men than women control the big-ticket items. One way for each of you to feel in control ix to make the decisions about your own IRA or 40l(k) account, But be sure to coordinate your overall portfolio, especially if you both plan to retire at the same time.
GET A FINANCIAL PHYSICAL. Knowing your beloved's credit score is as important as knowing the results of the blood test. Discuss your history of handling money, your financial secrets and blind spots, and. of course, your income, assets and debts. If you have assets when you marry, it's smart to keep them in your own name, If there's any sign of a debt problem, keep all the credit accounts separate. And don't add your name to your spouse's accounts because you then become responsible for his o, her debts--and vulnerable to a credit-score hit. Old and new couples alike should list their financial goals, then make a long term financial plan (perhaps with the help of a financial planner) that includes doing something immediately--say, initiating regular saving--to show commitment.
BLENDED FAMILIES SHOULD NOT BLEND EVERYTHING. The second time around, consider the p word. "Whoever brings up the prenup is an unromantic, horrible person," says Olivia Meltan, a financial planner and psychologist. But, she points out, it's better to emphasize clarity and merge your finances incrementally. You're a good candidate for a prenup if you pay child support, you want to leave money to your children from a previous marriage, you have significant assets you're bringing into the marriage, or you own your own business.
~~~~~~~~

By Mark Solheim


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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9/18/2008 12:50:04 PM

We make about the same amount and maintain a joint slush MMSA and checking account. We also have personal checking accounts (because I don't want him guessing what presents I've bought him) that smaller chunks of our income go into. We have checks for our joint account for stuff like rent and other bills that don't do direct deposit. He does all the actual bill paying but we get together once or twice a month to go over our budget. We track that on a really simple .xls with income balanced against debt and monthly bills. I also plan out shopping trips, clip coupons and manage the fluid expenditure (e.g. you can get two blu rays or one video game).

We did most of this last year when we moved in together. I used our lease to "scam" him into SECU, and maintaining an economic household unit with the intention of getting married, for us, obviated the need to keep our finances completely separate. Before, when we were living separately and our ratios of disposable income were disparate we would've kept closer tabs on things.

It's important to both of us to live below our means so even if the other person gets a raise we can just put that much more towards debt elimination. We'll be married by November so to me his student loans may as well be mine.

9/18/2008 9:58:30 PM

we have a common checking account that both our paychecks go into. we don't use that account for day to day stuff. mostly autodraft and online billpay. then we have joint amex and a joint visa that we use for day to day purchases. i have a credit card from before we were married and she was a checking, savings and credit card, but we rarely use any of those, we just keep them around for the credit longevity. we've talked about having individual checking accounts for small "me" purchases, but we never got around to it, and honestly in 3+ years of marriage, it's never really been a problem drawing from the same credit card pool. we both pretty much get whatever we want (cus we're both reasonable and moderate people) and we don't bitch at each other

9/18/2008 10:04:02 PM

we have separate checking accounts (that we both can access) and a shared money market account. this is done mainly because of how we pay bills.

he pays all the bills (mortgage, utilities, cell phones, groceries), because he makes about 44K more than i do. i cover the gasoline bill (we put it on my one credit card and pay it off each month) and my car payment. he throws most of his leftover money at debt (old credit cards, student loans). i put my leftover money in the money market account.

9/18/2008 10:35:31 PM

all of our accounts are in both names. paychecks go to one account, and then i move things from there. i pretty much manage everything, including both 401k's. though before i move large sums, i generally let him know ahead of time. my husband is a scientist and not very interested in managing money; if it were up to him alone, all our money would pile up in a low interest savings account. we're both fairly reasonable spenders and save at least one of our salaries. we have an agreed upon $ figure where if purchases exceed that figure, we let the other one know. no pre-nup of course.

9/18/2008 10:35:36 PM

Quote :

"we have very similar views on money management and so it has worked well for us."

thats all that really matters in the end.

My plan for when I do get married would be:

- we have a joint account for monthly bills that we put the same percentage into, so regardless of who makes what, we still contributing equally.
- probably a couple different joint savings accounts (long term savings, vacation savings, emergency savings, shit like that) that we both contribute an equal dollar amount to.
- the rest we keep in separate accounts for our own enjoyment.

9/19/2008 10:00:11 AM

i think a lot of married couples argue over "my money" - it's just my opinion but the people with separate accounts always seem to be more selfish to me

9/19/2008 10:04:08 AM

Quote :

"we have a high yield checking account with ING where both our salaries are direct deposited and all our bills and expenses are paid from. at the beginning of the month we each get an "allowance" that comes from the joint account and goes to our seperate checking accounts that we use for personal things. we also have a joint savings account where we put money that we are saving for big items (like home renovations etc). we contribute to that account once a month as well."

This is exactly how I want to do it when I'm married. The allowance is key, since both will have discretionary money that they don't have to disclose to their partner everything they buy, and so there's no confusion each month with how to split the extra money.

9/19/2008 11:13:58 AM

I think I'd spend more with an allowance/budget than if I didn't have one.

9/19/2008 11:17:02 AM

Quote :

"i think a lot of married couples argue over "my money" - it's just my opinion but the people with separate accounts always seem to be more selfish to me"

ding ding ding.

This year has been a mountain of weddings in my group of friends. And the ones that have kept their finances separately seem to have more money issues and arguments over it. One of the observations that was made about 1 pair of them was "O they aren't broke. I mean hes broke, but she's not broke". Referring to the fact that the husband in the relationship was always cash strapped and living college cheap still (roman for lunch kinda of cheap) while the wife used her cash and cards to go out all the time, but random crap, etc.

9/19/2008 1:15:48 PM

my sister and bro inlaw kept their personal accounts and all of every paycheck goes into a 3rd account and then they each get 10% of their total family income into their personal accounts... anything for the house or fam comes out of the main account... food, cars, etc. (any questionable purchases must be approved) the other 10% is for personal expenses that would not be approved of by the other person... $texas haircuts, $texas fishing equipment etc...

i thought it was a neat idea.... also you can use your personal account to pay for portions of other things like say the family needs a new car but X is settled on but maybe you want the v8 edition rather than the v6.... then you use your private savings to account for the difference in cost.

9/19/2008 3:12:33 PM

we still have separate accounts. separate savings accounts, 1 joint checking & savings.

My wife doesn't save very well & she spends money on shit i think is absurd. She doesn't balance her account either...I couldn't handle it so we never got a joint account. it works for us. we split the bills 50/50 & the other stuff just kind of works out.

9/19/2008 4:29:44 PM

we're gonna do what sober46an3 said

[Edited on September 19, 2008 at 4:52 PM. Reason : d]

9/19/2008 4:51:53 PM

for you nacstate in particular but it pertains to some of the others that have separate accounts

Quote :

"My plan for when I do get married would be: - we have a joint account for monthly bills that we put the same percentage into, so regardless of who makes what, we still contributing equally."

what happens when one of you loses your job - or your wife takes a year or two off to take care of the kids because you can't get into a good daycare because of the ridiculous waiting lists - or wants to be a permanent stay at home mom

9/19/2008 7:28:25 PM

Quote :

"We just have one checking account and one savings account, and I'm in charge of finances. My wife hates dealing with financial stuff."

9/19/2008 9:11:29 PM

My husband and I had joint finances even before we married one another.

We have a joint checking account, money market account, shares account (Credit Union), mortgage, and credit card. Then we both have separate individual credit cards.

I am currently a stay at home mom, so I no longer bring in an income. When I brought in an income, it usually never hit the bank. I would cash my check and divvy up the cash between us to pay for gas, eating out, groceries, and incidentals. My paycheck was our "fun money" and daily expense money.

My husband is now our sole breadwinner. He handles our long term finances. He deals with insurance, savings accounts, 401K, stock, and all of the bigger long term things.

I handle our daily finances because I have the time to do it and my husband cannot pay a bill on time to save his life. He takes care of his credit card bill and he use to take care of the cell phone bill. I took the cell phone bill away from him when our cell phones were cut off and I found out that he hadn't paid it in months. Now, I make sure that everything is paid on time and his money stretches far enough to support us all.

We both seek the other's "permission" when we want to make a large purchase. We both also sneak little things onto our personal credit cards when we don't want the other to scrutinize what we've bought -- like treating his guys to a few rounds or my new pair of shoes.

[Edited on September 19, 2008 at 9:25 PM. Reason : .]

9/19/2008 9:19:26 PM

Accounts:
Separate bank accounts. Our salaries are direct deposited into our accounts by our respective employers (but we would have separate accounts regardless of that fact). My wife earns double of what I earn.

Rent:
Free furnished flat with free utilities (electricity, water, internet) is provided by wife's employer, so those are somethings we save [a hell of a lot] on.

Groceries:
Sometimes I go buy stuff, sometimes she does. So in the long term, it averages out and we end up spending similar amounts.

Big purchases:
For big one-off purchases such as home electronics, kitchen appliances, furniture, etc, we split the cost 50-50, unless the purchaser insists on going solo.

Personal purchases:
They are just that, personal purchases (clothes, shoes, CDs, books, etc).

9/19/2008 9:44:42 PM

^^at first i read that as

Quote :

"like treating his guys to a new pair of shoes"

and i was like

wait, wat?

9/19/2008 9:44:44 PM

hahahaha... i read it like that as well

9/19/2008 9:54:26 PM

Quote :

"what happens when one of you loses your job - or your wife takes a year or two off to take care of the kids because you can't get into a good daycare because of the ridiculous waiting lists - or wants to be a permanent stay at home mom"

then obviously we'd have to adjust the situation. That same question would be applied to people that share everything. If you both put in everything you have and split it between different kinds of accounts, you'd have to adjust where you put your money to make sure bills and stuff still get paid.

wtf kind of dumb question is that?

as was said before and I quoted for emphasis, as long as you both agree on how money should be handled, thats all thats important.

[Edited on September 19, 2008 at 11:58 PM. Reason : .]

9/19/2008 11:57:14 PM

we put in into one checking account. from there i pull out 20% total each month and put it into savings. the balance pays bills and is fun money. we have been doing this since before we got married. wife was in grad school and i was working. we had no option of separate accounts at that time. i make easily 5 times more than my wife who is a nurse so at this point separate accounts would be pointless. she works, puts it in the pot, and spends what she wants. yeah it is not exactly fair for me but as long as she is happy and 20% hits the savings account i don't really care. her job has AWESOME insurance and when she delivers our 1st child she will keep working to keep the benefits. then she will only have to work 20 hours a week and we still get to keep our insurance! her hospital is awesome! my wife came from a very poor family and now thinks i totally spoil her. the good news is she hates shopping for groceries at harris teeter and publix and will will only go to walmart. i hate the fucking place so she does all the grocery shopping. she also thinks buying any piece of clothing that is not 50% off or more is a crime. we go out with our friends here who are always trying to keep up with the jones' and she typically is the best dressed. she definitely is a thrifty shopper.

i do realize we are very different from most other couples we hang out with. we have learned a valuable lesson in NOT being house, car, boat, and stuff poor. we live in a town house, neither of us drive cars that cost over 45K new, and we bought an inshore boat. unlike all of our friends who can not afford to travel, go where ever when ever, and fill their boats up with fuel, we have managed to live within our means. the only big thing left to pay off is our school loans. and that is roughly 90K. i have been paying everything else off because our loans are 2% interest. money in the bank makes more than that. the best advise i give anyone that questions how we are able to do what we do is this.... live within your means. DO NOT carry credit card balances. do not settle for a job that will get you by, keep ladder climbing at all times. oh and marry a cheap wife if possible. we are not financially free but we will be.

[Edited on September 20, 2008 at 12:26 AM. Reason : ]

9/20/2008 12:26:38 AM

yep, living within your means is key.

i finally got totally, 100% debt free back in the spring. it's sweet. i also put away around 20% of my after-tax income into stocks/index funds. I also put away $150/month into my savings acct, and whatever money I make on flipping cars or any other windfalls...I've finally accumulated enough there to put about a 10-15% down payment on a house. This money I come back from Iraq with will be marked just for having fun with, but even then, most of it will probably just sit in the bank for a few years until I'm not spending half my time deployed or traveling.

you have to stop gearing your budget around what you see other people doing. Just because you can make the payments on it doesn't really mean you can afford it. You also have to stop thinking of things in terms of monthly payments, and start thinking in terms of actual cost (or better yet, start thinking in terms of opportunity cost--add in the cost of any financing, and the "cost" of not being able to invest that money).

You don't have to live like a miser...shit, in the last 4 years, I've had a Jeep, a turbocharged Miata, a supercharged S2000, a BMW 330ci, an Evo IX, an Ultra 150 jet ski, and an SV650 motorcycle. I skiied about 15+ times last winter, including one trip to Whistler. I've lived in 3 different places within 5-10 minutes of the beach (and waterview in one case). Now, I was very careful in shopping for those vehicles and broke even/turned a profit when I sold them, and I've had roommates to afford living in nice places. The point is that you can live well and still save a good bit without going into lots of debt if you're just smart about things.

9/20/2008 6:58:08 AM

Since we're talking about being able to afford this or afford that, learn from our experience: BE SURE YOU CAN AFFORD YOUR BILLS ON ONE PERSON'S PAY.

My husband and I are really struggling right now. When I was pregnant, we built a house. The payment wasn't anymore than our rent was and we felt like we could afford it as long as I brought in some kind of income. I was planning on modifying my work schedule (I was a nanny.) and staying at home with our son. Due to my son's unforeseen medical condition, I am unable to work at all and will not be able to return to work for at least another year. His medical bills also wiped out any sort of cushion that we had. My husband's pay check is enough to cover all of our bills, but it is very difficult to find the money for groceries, gas, and anything unexpected that comes up (like my husband's car dying).

9/20/2008 10:36:58 AM

We have 1 checking account and 1 savings account. It works well for us b/c we used to fight over who paid for what. Plus, our incomes are lopsided, so this is more democratic. Now it all comes out of one big pot. We are both conservative in our spending, so having an allowance would probably result in more spending, instead of less.

I handle the finances and my wife doesn't pay much attention to them. We each have our normal spending habits and we discuss anything outside of that.

9/26/2008 5:40:14 PM

Quote :

"We just have one checking account and one savings account, and I'm in charge of finances. My wife hates dealing with financial stuff."

Ditto

9/26/2008 11:51:56 PM

fwiw, its real easy when combined you only make enough to pay off rent, bills, and loan debt

We've not merged our accounts, we keep meaning to, but haven't gotten around to doing it yet, seeing as it involves going into the credit union and setting up some more account stuff. Right now, we each had the same accounts we had before we got married 3 months ago and just sit down the first of the month and look at what we have to pay that month and shuffle around who pays what until everything is paid about as evenly as possible. Usually we only have about 50 bucks left for each of us for incidental stuff. Being a grad student blows.

10/2/2008 9:13:34 AM

just got married... planning on having one checking, one savings. we might each keep our own secret accounts though.

10/3/2008 12:41:16 PM

How is it a secret if you know about it.

10/3/2008 12:42:09 PM

i mean i just assume she would have one... doesn't everyone have a secret account for hookers and whatnot?

10/5/2008 10:18:26 AM

Quote :

"1 checking, 1 savings account. We both put our entire paycheck into the pot. All bills are paid out of the pot, then savings set aside. Any spending beyond that we typically make decisions on together--except for little stuff, of course. Luckily, we have very similar views on money management and so it has worked well for us. "

this is what we do. we put a certain amount in savings each month...then the rest is for bills and spending money

10/5/2008 12:25:13 PM

*3 checking accounts: 1 joint for bills/expenses, 1 personal each.
*1 short-term savings accounts w/ING.

Both of us have an amount taken off the top from our net pay we keep in our own personal accounts. It's nice to be able to buy Xmas/birthday gifts without the other person looking at a statement and knowing where it came from. Or, screw it, you buy something for yourself. Rest of goes into the joint account.

Having two people handle finances is possible, but can be time-consuming. Best marriages are about communication. If one handles finances and openly communicates to other what's going on + asks for input on decisions, that tends to work well.

[Edited on October 7, 2008 at 8:36 AM. Reason : .]

10/7/2008 8:34:04 AM

We drop all of our payments from jobs in one account at SECU. I manage the money and give her an allowance of what she can spend. But I make most of the money, so she has no complaints. She also basically gets to spend whatever she wants when she needs something, because she is NOT a frivolous spender. If anything, I am.

When I want something, I work side computer jobs and save up my money for that. If she wants extra stuff, she has a side account, but that is mainly used for Mary Kay stuff. Other than that, we do it all jointly.

I personally do not like having seperate accounts. I personally feel it encourages being more selfish and not discussing expenditures with your partner. My wife had a credit card at one point and got in trouble with it by spending more than she was putting back on it. I had to pay it off, but was really upset with her. Since then, I have let her spend what she needed, but she doesn't have to hide it and cause animosity between us. I feel this is a MUCH healthier way to do finances.

10/7/2008 8:51:07 AM

My husband and I don't do a percentage.
We keep out $200 each per month that we keep in our separate accounts to do with as we wish.
The rest we have in a pot to pay all bills etc.

As it has been said one of the most important things about a marriage is agreement on money management.

Jeff and I make no decisions over $75 without each other unless it comes out of the slush fund.

10/7/2008 9:13:08 PM

We have joint accounts across the board for the most part, checking, share (savings) and money market. Most of the credit cards we have are also joint, but we do have a couple that are in her name or in my name only. They are mostly store cards like best buy and circuit city that are only used to get 0% interest for big ticket items and never carry an interest bearing balance.

We also have accounts at two other credit unions that hold loans of ours like cars and mortgage. As of now parts of the wife's check goes into those accounts to cover the payments each month, so it's more automatic. The months that we get paid 3 times it just goes to cover principle on those loans. All of my paychecks go into our checking account and she handles it from there. I do not handle the finances as the last time I got over 10K in debt in college which we worked very hard to pay off. I aid in big decisions based on analyzing our budget and debt v. income but don't handle the day to day stuff. We manage our own investments and 401k's, IRA's, etc.

We have talked about separate smaller checking accounts for play money, or gifting purposes. But basically I choose a card to purchase gifts on for our anniversary, birthday and christmas and make the purchases so that we won't get the statement until the gift is given so the surprise stays intact. I make sure to tell her which one so that she knows not to go looking until after the occasion. Our system works out well for us. But each couple is different.

10/7/2008 11:17:56 PM

1 MMA, Checking, Share (Joint)

1 MMA, Checking, Share (1 Each individual)

Getting married on Friday, but we set this up a couple months ago. Gotta keep things separate along with the joint. There are always things you want to spend money on that your not going to want criticizm over, after all it is your money.

10/10/2008 10:23:57 AM

to some people its not yours anymore, its "our" money.

10/10/2008 4:10:18 PM

what's mine is hers and what's hers is mine

10/10/2008 4:46:13 PM

It will become our money.

Separate finances are all fine and dandy until someone starts making more money or you start to accumulate joint responsibilities like a house and kids. Then it becomes our money or you'll argue over who pays what.

10/10/2008 8:19:17 PM