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 Message Boards » » DEAR GOD Page [1]  
paerabol
All American
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While cleaning the girl's bathroom tonight I had to pick up a pad so bloody that it stuck to the floor, and made a sickening schlliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick as I peeled it up. And of course there was a little left on the floor for good measure.


It's a damn good thing the money's worth it.


$1

[Edited on November 10, 2008 at 6:12 AM. Reason : and yes, running home and making a thread was my first thought]

11/10/2008 6:06:26 AM

fjjackso
All American
14538 Posts
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MAKE ME A BIRD SO I CAN FLY FAR, FAR FAR AWAY FROM HERE

[Edited on November 10, 2008 at 6:08 AM. Reason : btw thats rancid ]

11/10/2008 6:08:31 AM

BigEgo
Not suspended
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^that's forest gump

11/10/2008 6:32:37 AM

hypaone
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11/10/2008 6:33:57 AM

Mulva
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paerabol, i hope you get sent to a special place in Dante's purgatory where you crawl around for eternity on a track made of burning maxi pads

11/10/2008 7:04:46 AM

G.O.D
hates 4 lokos
4694 Posts
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why ya dearing me? wasn't my blood pad.

11/10/2008 8:16:02 AM

ScHpEnXeL
Suspended
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11/10/2008 8:18:02 AM

LivinProof78
All American
49373 Posts
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you think this is bad (and it is)

try having to clean up the shit that's left over after a bunch drunk trash shooting up heroin in the bar bathroom

11/10/2008 8:20:08 AM

pttyndal
WINGS!!!!!
35217 Posts
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^ you missed a palindrome

11/10/2008 8:25:08 AM

philihp
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she did?

11/10/2008 9:16:14 AM

BIGcementpon
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11318 Posts
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That's pretty bad - that wasn't mentioned by the girl I was there with, so I feel like I can assume it happened after we left. I'll ask her later...

The women's bathroom is usually nastier than the guy's bathroom. Cleaning up the other week, I discovered that apparently some chick used the empty toilet paper roll to wipe with, rather than open a new roll right beside of her and use that. She threw it in the floor instead of in the trash. Bitch.

[Edited on November 10, 2008 at 1:16 PM. Reason : oh, and thanks for the excellent description... ]

11/10/2008 1:15:53 PM

SaabTurbo
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YEAH SON, YOU CAN DEFINITELY USE THE ROLL TO WIPE YOUR ASS (OR YOUR VAG PIECE I GUESS).

THE BEST PART IS TRYING TO FLUSH IT AND LETTING PEOPLE LIKE YOU DEAL WITH IT SON.

11/10/2008 1:20:01 PM

paerabol
All American
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haha yes this was at the very end of the night


$1

11/10/2008 1:20:27 PM

arcgreek
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Interesting, I've never considered the roll as an option...

11/10/2008 1:39:50 PM

SaabTurbo
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CRUSH THE ROLL, SO IT'S FLAT.

THEN IT FITS INTO THE ASS CRACK PERFECTLY SON.

11/10/2008 1:40:32 PM

GrumpyGOP
yovo yovo bonsoir
18164 Posts
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My experience working in bars has been that women's bathrooms are, 100% of the time and with no exception, far fouler than men's. Apparently the gene for "not smearing your waste all over everything" is on the Y chromosome.

11/10/2008 1:45:48 PM

CeilingCat
All American
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I lol'd at the thought of SaabTurbo with a toilet paper roll in his ass

11/10/2008 1:58:37 PM

SaabTurbo
All American
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YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE SON.

11/10/2008 1:59:58 PM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
35376 Posts
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we've all seen your sexy mug with that fish son

and the one of you concentrating hard while tying that fly son

11/10/2008 2:00:39 PM

vonjordan3
AIR
43669 Posts
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thats not saab though

11/10/2008 2:01:00 PM

hooksaw
All American
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Did the residue also contain gnat bread?

11/10/2008 2:01:34 PM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
35376 Posts
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YES IT IS SON

DON'T MAKE ME POST HIS SEXY PICS IN HERE SON

11/10/2008 2:01:40 PM

CeilingCat
All American
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WELL THAT'S WHO I AM PICTURING WITH A TOILET PAPER ROLL IN THEIR ASS SON

11/10/2008 2:01:46 PM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
35376 Posts
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YEAH, THAT'S A PRETTY FUNNY MENTAL IMAGE RIGHT THERE SON

I MEAN, JUST IMAGINE HIM SITTING IN HIS BOAT FLY FISHING WITH THAT TP ROLL IN HIS CRACK SON

HAHA SON

11/10/2008 2:03:50 PM

SaabTurbo
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11/10/2008 2:05:09 PM

hooksaw
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Yes, I know you said "pad"--but I couldn't find a funny pad!

11/10/2008 2:10:30 PM

CeilingCat
All American
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^^I LOOK ANGRY CUZ I GOTTA CARDBOARD ROLL IN MY CRACK SON

11/10/2008 2:27:22 PM

BIGcementpon
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I didn't expect this thread to make me laugh. But it just did. Thank you gross thread.

Quote :
"YEAH SON, YOU CAN DEFINITELY USE THE ROLL TO WIPE YOUR ASS (OR YOUR VAG PIECE I GUESS)."

VAG PIECE WOULD BE CORRECT, SON

11/10/2008 2:49:24 PM

paerabol
All American
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hahahaha i've definitely used the roll before, didn't know i wasn't alone in this last-ditch practice


$1

11/10/2008 4:27:49 PM

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