http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27855970?GT1=43001

Best headline ever

Quote :

" Panda bites student who just wanted a hug Student shocked when fuzzy creature rejects his advances at Chinese zoo BEIJING - A college student in southern China just needed a hug, but he probably shouldn't have picked a panda for his warm and fuzzy moment. Instead of a hug, the panda bit the student after he broke into the animal's zoo enclosure. A park employee said the student was visiting the zoo with classmates when he jumped the 6.5-foot-high fence around the panda's habitat. The park was virtually deserted at the time. The employee said the student was bitten in the arms and legs by the panda, named Yang Yang. Two foreign visitors who saw the attack ran to get help. The official Xinhua News Agency reports the hospitalized student later said the panda was so cute and cuddly he never expected to be bitten."

LOL PWNT, told j00 so

11/22/2008 10:51:35 PM

eats shoots and leaves

11/22/2008 10:53:24 PM

what makes it better is that it was a college student

11/22/2008 10:54:04 PM

I tried to score an interview but they said "No, it's a live bear, and will literally rip your face off"

11/22/2008 10:56:50 PM

It's a damn bear. Why do people think they are cuddly teddy bears?

11/22/2008 11:01:12 PM

panda claws look scary i would never go near them just because of their claws.

and then theres the teeth.

11/22/2008 11:01:49 PM

i bet the cartoons in china have panda bears with huge twinkling eyes

11/22/2008 11:02:59 PM

it would be baller to have one as a pet

having it stick its head out the car when you're were driving would be awesome

of course its so big, that its ass would probablly be in your face if he did that

11/22/2008 11:05:11 PM

panda bear ass

or

panda bare ass

11/22/2008 11:05:58 PM

since there's like 3 pandas in the world, are they gonna kill it since it attacked someone? kinda like they do with people's dogs?

11/22/2008 11:06:16 PM

no they won't kill it!!!!

the kid broke into the cage. that is just retarded.

it is a zoo. there is a high likelihood that zoo animals bite.

[Edited on November 22, 2008 at 11:07 PM. Reason : .]

11/22/2008 11:07:21 PM

LOL

like they care about people in China

That panda could have shot up a preschool and they wouldn't kill it.

11/22/2008 11:07:21 PM

I read once that pandas had real asses like people with cheeks and everything

instead of just a random asshole in the middle of its back like most animals

11/22/2008 11:07:40 PM

Quote :

"since there's like 3 pandas in the world, are they gonna kill it since it attacked someone? kinda like they do with people's dogs?"

that is a very good point. Probably not because it is a panda, and not a common dog. Even if it was another species, the animal shouldn't be punished for a kid's stupidity.

[Edited on November 22, 2008 at 11:09 PM. Reason : too many replies]

11/22/2008 11:09:21 PM

[user]slave famous[/slave]

i believe you are mistaking it for a regular american bear

and your "read once" was watching the movie The Great Outdoors, where they shoot the bear in the ass with a rifle and it looks like a bare-ass bear ass

11/22/2008 11:12:08 PM

lol [/slave] im not even gonna edit that out

11/22/2008 11:12:34 PM

user dweedle user

I believe you're correct

thanks for correcting my error

11/22/2008 11:12:58 PM

thats racist!

11/23/2008 2:31:40 AM

From 2006:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2006-09-20-panda_x.htm

Quote :

"BEIJING (AP) — A drunken Chinese migrant worker jumped into a panda enclosure at the Beijing Zoo, was bitten by the bear and retaliated by chomping down on the animal's back, state media said Wednesday. Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said. "He felt a sudden urge to touch the panda with his hand," and jumped into the enclosure, the newspaper said. The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said. "I bit the fellow in the back," Zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. "Its skin was quite thick." Other tourists yelled for a zookeeper, who got the panda under control by spraying it with water, reports said. Zhang was hospitalized. Newspaper photographs showed Zhang lying on a hospital bed with blood-soaked bandages and a seam of stitches running down his leg. The Beijing Youth Daily quoted Zhang as saying that he had seen pandas on television and "they seemed to get along well with people." "No one ever said they would bite people," Zhang said. "I just wanted to touch it. I was so dizzy from the beer. I don't remember much." Ye Mingxia, a spokeswoman for the Beijing Zoo, confirmed the incident happened but would not give any details. She said Gu Gu was "healthy." "We're not considering punishing him now," Ye said in a telephone interview. "He's suffered quite a bit of shock.""

[Edited on November 23, 2008 at 5:24 AM. Reason : .]

11/23/2008 5:23:35 AM

^ fucker deserved it. and he should go to jail for animal cruelty and breaking in.


BTW,

Quote :

"YANG YANG BITES"

11/23/2008 5:36:52 AM

^^well at least we know the secret to controlling pandas now.


Spray them with water.

11/23/2008 8:34:20 AM

play madlibs with that last story and just put the __________ wherever you see panda

11/23/2008 9:57:45 AM

I'm disappointed they didn't let the Panda play with these fucks for a few hours.

I'MA GUNNA GO IN DERE AND PET DAY GRATE BIG WILD ANIMAL!!!!11

11/23/2008 10:29:36 AM

panda BEAR

people forget that last part sometimes

11/23/2008 10:57:49 AM

koala bears can be vicious, too

we saw one that was aptly named "Bitch" at a zoo thing at Magnetic Island

11/23/2008 11:06:55 AM

damn you Teddy Roosevelt for making us think bears were cute n cuddly

11/23/2008 11:12:29 AM

this means you either read TR's work, apparently on bears

or you were alive 100 yrs ago

11/23/2008 11:13:10 AM

11/23/2008 11:14:58 AM

panda panda panda

11/23/2008 11:20:33 AM