Serious thread.

I want to lose a few quick pounds and this seems like a good way to compliment my diet and workout regime. Anybody reccomend any product over another?

12/4/2008 8:23:03 PM

LOL

12/4/2008 8:23:32 PM

12/4/2008 8:23:54 PM

^NO THANKS

12/4/2008 8:25:57 PM

srsly?

12/4/2008 8:26:11 PM

I cleansed your mom's colon!

12/4/2008 8:26:57 PM

yes. I need to lose like 30 pounds in the next 2 months or a few inches in mah waist (preferably both). I already dramatically fixed my diet and started working out/running again but I want something to give me a quick good gain.

Also I may or may not have a date with a very attractive female that I haven't seen in like 4 years soon, gotta be slim(er)!!!!

12/4/2008 8:27:52 PM

You're so epically fucked.

12/4/2008 8:29:10 PM

Quote :

"Mama Klump: I think I do remember hearing somethin' on TV about colon cleansin'. They say everyone should have one. I'm thinkin' about gettin' me an appointment and go down and get my colon cleansed thoroughly. Cletus Klump: You want your colon cleansed? Fine, I'm gonna clean mine! [Farts] Cletus Klump: There, my colon is clean. My colon is squeaky clean! "

12/4/2008 8:29:23 PM

lemon juice, cayenne pepper and yoo-hoo

12/4/2008 8:30:52 PM

mah = my

12/4/2008 8:31:36 PM

evan can help

12/4/2008 8:31:44 PM

COLON BLOW

12/4/2008 8:32:49 PM

I was thinking colon blow. One guy said it was better than Disney World!

12/4/2008 8:34:57 PM

go for hydrotherapy (pump gallons of water into your tract and you expel it).

12/5/2008 10:55:48 AM

12/5/2008 10:58:01 AM

12/5/2008 10:59:12 AM

Quote :

"I need to lose like 30 pounds in the next 2 months or a few inches in mah waist (preferably both)"

cocaine.

12/5/2008 10:59:19 AM

Quote :

"Colon cleansing is considered quackery, with no basis in science or gastroenterology,[2][3] as the bowel itself is not dirty and barring drugs or disease, cleans itself naturally without need for assistance.[4] Colon cleansing lacks scientifically validated medical benefit for the claims made by alternative medicine practitioners. Colon cleansing has in a small number of cases resulted in damage to the rectum or colon and certain enema preparations have been associated with heart attacks and electrolyte imbalance. Frequent colon cleansing may also interfere with the proper functioning of the colon and can lead to dependence on laxatives or enemas to defecate. Some herbs used may interact with and reduce the effectiveness of prescription drugs.[1]"

12/5/2008 11:03:51 AM

dramatic + diet = fail

12/5/2008 11:05:28 AM

This will not make you thinner. Loosing the fat will make you thinner. It's like thinking you are thinner when you come out of the sauna after 30 minutes and are a pound lighter.

But if it is just the number on the scale that makes you confident, then by all means, go get it done right. Haha bascially a "Dr." sticks a hose up your ass and fills it with water. Wrestlers and MMA fighters use this method to cut weight.

12/5/2008 11:09:41 AM

Quote :

"Loosing the fat"

12/5/2008 11:48:31 AM

I don't need anything permanent. Just need to weigh in on jan 22. Last time I had to weigh in I fasted for a few days (well, I had a small salad each day at dinner), drank nothing but water, ran a few miles every night, and did a sauna fully clothed. The night before I weighed in I rubbed hemorrhoid cream all over my waist area. Doing this I lost about 4-5 inches. Did it come back? Yep. Did it do what I needed it to for the day? Yep

12/5/2008 12:56:51 PM

^why?

12/5/2008 12:59:08 PM

wtf are you having to weigh in for?

12/5/2008 1:29:37 PM

Quote :

"The night before I weighed in I rubbed hemorrhoid cream all over my waist area."

w
t
f
?

12/5/2008 1:41:47 PM

I think if you want a real colon cleanse you got to get a colonic at the doctor's

12/5/2008 1:52:41 PM

Bali Hai
LR wings
I Love NY pizza
Ranch dressing

These are a few of my favorite things that cleanse my colon in ways no toilet should ever experience

12/5/2008 2:05:07 PM

12/5/2008 3:14:49 PM

Quote :

"w t f ?"

The cream shrinks you for a few hours. I lost about 3" overnight by doing that. It all comes back in a few hours but while it's active it condenses all the vessels or fat or something and makes shit smaller. Models do it to remove puffy eyes, etc. I learned about it in the intrawebs!

I have to do this because I have to be 25% body fat when I report to boot camp. By all the electronic sensor things im about 20% but according to the way they measure your height, weight, neck, and waist, i'm closer to 27%. Gotta drop a few inches so i'm golden.

12/5/2008 3:31:56 PM

dude, dont spend the entire weekend on the shitter
you will regret it

12/5/2008 3:34:56 PM

12/5/2008 5:02:04 PM

just eat some raw chicken

12/5/2008 5:16:17 PM

doing this now won't help a damn thing come january. getting an enema or a colonic basically just eliminates waste that you would shit out a few days later anyway.

Quote :

"PREEMPTIVE POOP PROCEDURE"

12/5/2008 5:18:57 PM

If you are borderline to not making weight/body fat for bootcamp chances are you arent gonna make it through anyways so may as well quit now

12/5/2008 5:36:36 PM

^ STFU

Wrong. I'm in pretty good shape, I just have a few extra inches around my mid section.

[Edited on December 5, 2008 at 6:41 PM. Reason : .]

12/5/2008 6:40:26 PM

12/5/2008 7:22:41 PM

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=2532291

12/5/2008 8:04:20 PM

^ lol

Quote :

"Just eat some high fiber foods if ur turds are 6-8 inches long and have a good diameter ur fine you don't need any cleanse........."

12/5/2008 8:05:41 PM

6-8"? dude ain't got shit on me.


literally.

12/5/2008 8:10:27 PM

man, when I was on my clean bulk(500+g carbs/day of whole grains) my shits were monumental, clean, with epic farts to compliment

I've been on keto for a little over a week now...shits come out looking like they're from that play-doh press machine(not with the spaghetti attachment), absolutely reek and the farts are nonexistant

guess thats what happens when your diet is nothing but eggs, chicken, and almonds..

[Edited on December 5, 2008 at 8:18 PM. Reason : .]

12/5/2008 8:17:11 PM

I have 2 experiences to share:

1) In Raleigh (2002) I had a colonic irrigation done. It felt good, made me feel light. Tons of gas came out. And even though I had done a shit just before, lots of stuff came out as well. It was a motherly Polish woman... she was nice. I know it is considered quack medicine, but I liked it, and I don't see anything wrong with getting it done a few times a year.

2) In 2005 I had an olive oil enema done. I got to the hospital and they told me I should have brought my own olive oil, so I went to the grocer nearby and got 750 ml of EVOO. They put it in plastic bag like a drip bag, and attached a plastic tube to it, which went inside me. Then they opened the valve and let it flow. I was able to get 500-600 ml inside me. The urge to go blow my innards was monumental, but the doctor told me to hold it off for as long as I could. I have very strong PC muscles, so I held off for 30 minutes, I don't know how. Then I rushed to the toilet in my room and expelled it all. Cleaned myself up, and came to the bed and laid down. Had to go to the toilet again 2 or 3 more times in the 60 minutes after the first time.

12/8/2008 6:55:33 AM

wow....

...that's..

just... wow...

12/8/2008 8:31:07 AM

W

T

F

?

!

?

!

12/8/2008 11:29:12 AM

ive thought about these treatments as well and cant decide if they are worth it. dont they cause you to also get rid of the 'good' bacteria?

12/8/2008 11:51:24 AM

Penn & Teller did a "BULLSHIT" episode about this. They convinced me.

12/8/2008 11:54:46 AM

Yeah, it disrupts all of the natural bacteria in the gut and other digestive mechanisms. Repeated colonics can cause you to become dependent on them for defecation.

Some colonic solutions can really fuck up your system. Throws electrolytes all out of whack.

I would also be afraid of practitioner mistakes. I don't imagine these are licensed doctors doing these procedures. A perforated bowel or infection is a real possibility.

Ew.

12/8/2008 12:00:34 PM

Quote :

"EVOO."

Quote :

"I have very strong PC muscles,"

you know how I know you're a douche?

12/8/2008 12:04:16 PM

people have been shitting for ~6000 years

why do we need help now?

12/8/2008 12:05:20 PM

Quote :

"http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=2532291"

hahah, wow.

I just read that whole thread. Pure lolz.

12/8/2008 1:01:53 PM