[blog]this ended up being a lot longer than i thought heh - is anyone going to read this?some background information5 kids in my family - 3 married - 1 long term gf - 1 no gf2 make decent money (as do their SOs) and the other 3 do not (as well as their SOs) we've all graduated from college - the youngest graduated in 2005 but the last graduation was this yearour parents birthdays are within a week of each other in september so as an idea i offered to buy them tickets to a comedy show i thought they'd like (jim gaffigan) and told my siblings that if they wanted they could contribute to the gift and i'd sign the card from all of the kids - i said it didn't matter how much you contributed and it didn't have to be equal - everyone agreednobody sent me a dime and i never brought it up because it wasn't a big dealso a few days ago my sister sent out an email saying we should do a group xmas gift and take up a collection for mom/dad/g-ma - she didn't ask how much everyone wanted to contribute - instead she said she needed $50 for the three of them with what she was going to buy with the money - i replied back that i'm okay with the group gift idea but i'd prefer the gifts to be a little more substantial - especially for our parents - we had already purchased something separate for my g-ma earlier in the year so this being another gift was fine by memy reply
12/8/2008 5:38:59 PM
words, words, words
12/8/2008 5:41:31 PM
tl;dr
12/8/2008 5:42:24 PM
12/8/2008 5:42:37 PM
summarize if you want more serious responses. there is no way you really require that many words to convey a story about whining over money with your siblings.
12/8/2008 5:45:21 PM
so glad I'm an only child
12/8/2008 5:45:37 PM
i really don't care for a response - at least not a serious once...hence chit chat bored on my status call and typed it up - not going to summarize -
12/8/2008 5:53:20 PM
im glad that when my brother and i do group gifts for our parents, it is a phone call, an oh hey, great idea and ill send you money.and its done
12/8/2008 5:56:23 PM
just give them an extra gift on top if you want to spend more. they have made it clear they can't or don't want to spend more. if you want to remind them about the birthday present thing, just write them a card that says you consider taking care of their portion part or all of your christmas gift to them.
12/8/2008 5:56:53 PM
you call your parents by their first names?Also, I would just opt out of participating in any further group gifts and buy your own gift individually for everyone since the group gift idea isn't working out.
12/8/2008 5:58:47 PM
don't send that email.just make a snide comment durring xmass in real life. at least then they have no proof.
12/8/2008 6:00:02 PM
12/8/2008 6:03:09 PM
group gifts always work well when it's with me and my little brother - once we get everyone else involved it goes to hell it seemsanother thing i guess i didn't mention is that 3 are step-siblings - parents got married 20 years ago tho so it wasn't like it was yesterday
12/8/2008 7:28:34 PM
leave them out of it and just do things with the bro.
12/8/2008 7:43:44 PM
I think you should forget doing group gifts with your siblings. From your post, I'd say that this is due more to your feelings than the behavior of your siblings. They were insinuating in their emails that they could not spend more money. They did this because you insinuated that you wanted to spend more than was originally proposed. They simply felt the need to explain their reluctance to increase their spending. I don't think they were trying to deny that you would put up a larger portion, if asked. Further, I didn't see their emails as attempted guilt trips. In fact, from your comments in between posted emails, I think you believe they should be feeling guilty. It sounds like what you really want is to tell them how much to spend, or at the very least receive acknowledgment for spending on their behalf in the past.
12/8/2008 8:03:52 PM
I am not trying to be a jackass here, but you are coming off as a real douche here. They obviously don't have the money. Regardless of the reason, they just are not able to spend what you can. I get where you are coming from... I make way more than my brothers, and thus I would never even dream of suggesting a group gift. Think of how they must feel.... hey you can give me a dollar and I will spend $100 and we'll "say" it's from all of us. You KNOW that they feel like shit for not being able to pay equal, and you KNOW your parents will absolutely realize that you spent more on the gift than your siblings did, and you KNOW your siblings will know this. You're putting them in an extremely akward position.
12/8/2008 8:23:26 PM