supercalo All American 2042 Posts user info edit post |
I was driving around my town the other day and I was stuck behind this slow driving car. The license plate said 1lik2fuk. I know people always get stupid ass license plates like these, but it was on a lime green convertible VW beetle, so it had to be a girl. I pulled into the other lane and got next to it. To my surprise, the driver was a huge burly fucking truck driver looking guy. My window was already rolled down and I was looking at the guy dead in the face when he turned and winked at me. I had no idea what to do. I just blurted what first came to my mind. "I like to fuck too!"
Maybe this wasn't a good idea I thought. I sped up immediately to try and lose the guy but he took chase. I guess he thought it was some gayme. I had to lose him. I floored the accelerator and was going 50mph through a school zone just to lose this guy. I was taking turns at unsafe speeds, drifting through corners, doing u-turns, anything to get this guy off my ass(literally). We got on a highway so the speeds started to increase. I was going at least 100mph down the highway and this guy was persistent. I couldn't lose him. I became discouraged and thought it would be time to give up and confront this guy soon. Not after something drastic though.
I pulled into oncoming traffic thinking this guy wouldn't dare this dangerous move. He moved over to the wrong side of the street too. We were going at least 120 mph on the wrong side of the road. I couldn't continue this. I had to give up before I kill myself. I get back into the correct lane and take an exit. I pull into a grocery store parking lot and step out of my car expecting to fight off this rapist. He parked next to me and said,"Your asshole is going to bleed tonight."
I replied,"Not my asshole, sir"
I took off my coat preparing for the fight of my life and my phone fell out of my coat pocket.
He said,"Is that an Iphone?"
I said,"yes, it has a touch screen."
After we both decided that the phone in question was indeed controlled by the touch of its user, we discussed what just happened. We were both pretty exhausted after what just happened. I asked him if he wanted to discuss it over a coffee. We drove in his beetle to a nice little cafe.
The ride over there wasn't as awkward as I was expecting. He had a Green Day CD playing, which I adore. Turns out, me and Bill shared the same taste in music. We're discussing what we just did and all the people we endangered when it turns out, he actually is a hardcore faggot that wanted to rape me, but he is also a stunt driver. He's been in a shit load of movies. He's done the driving for every Bond movie he said. He was real impressed with my skills and the balls I showed. We both came to the conclusion that we should both get some sort of reward, if you will, for going through such a great experience together.
The dangerous driving was an exhilarating experience, but not as exhilarating as the sex. 1/21/2009 9:43:37 PM |
catzor All American 1749 Posts user info edit post |
wat 1/21/2009 9:51:01 PM |
Talage All American 5093 Posts user info edit post |
I knew this thread was gonna be full of gay. I'm not sure why I clicked. 1/21/2009 10:17:04 PM |
EhSteve All American 7240 Posts user info edit post |
Was his name Buck? 1/21/2009 10:24:46 PM |
Aficionado Suspended 22518 Posts user info edit post |
wat 1/21/2009 10:26:50 PM |
jataylor All American 6652 Posts user info edit post |
wat 1/21/2009 10:32:06 PM |
Chop All American 6271 Posts user info edit post |
too much set up, not enough pay off.
don't quit your day job. 1/21/2009 10:32:33 PM |
adam8778 All American 3095 Posts user info edit post |
So my ex girlfriend had a new beetle
i used to drive it all the time in high school and the first couple years of college. got plenty of funny looks, even had people yell out "FAGS!!!!" at me and Hurleyin the passenger seat, even though the womernzzz were in the back seat
aka, story has no plotline and adam is drunk
and vw new beetles must be for fags 1/21/2009 11:06:29 PM |
Hurley Suspended 7284 Posts user info edit post |
wait
i never knew anyone yelled fags
btw, block heater is fixed, cord was all fucked up.
operating temp will be had before the key meets the ignition
i, too, am drunk 1/21/2009 11:07:59 PM |
supercalo All American 2042 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Was his name Buck?" |
Bill, but close.1/21/2009 11:24:26 PM |
adam8778 All American 3095 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "wait
i never knew anyone yelled fags
btw, block heater is fixed, cord was all fucked up.
operating temp will be had before the key meets the ignition
i, too, am drunk" |
drunk of 187 mL of cheap wine again??
yeah dude, a white firebird at the light on tryon at gorman yelled at us1/21/2009 11:35:14 PM |
Muzition00 All American 3238 Posts user info edit post |
womernzz likes that 1/22/2009 12:07:13 AM |