doing some work in public and i'm overhearing these three business dudes discussing shit

never heard so many words without anything being said, this shit is embarrassing to listen to

1/24/2009 2:42:54 PM

i like that ibm ad

[Edited on January 24, 2009 at 2:43 PM. Reason : BINGO!]

1/24/2009 2:43:43 PM

Are you embarrassed because you're not smart enough to understand them?

1/24/2009 2:43:58 PM

yeah i'm not smart enough to understand generic, vague business terms

1/24/2009 2:45:06 PM

sounds like you need to shift your paradigms, retool your business model and see if you cant deliver some results.

1/24/2009 2:50:51 PM

you need to throw some fuckin LEADERSHIP on this resume brah

let me show you mine

1/24/2009 2:51:40 PM

Quote :

"doing some work in public and i'm overhearing these three business dudes discussing shit never heard so many words without anything being said, this shit is embarrassing to listen to "

I had the honor of listening to an investment firm talk to a group of students about an internship, right at the beginning of the financial crisis, and I thought the same thing. I was literally choking down laughter at how seriously they took themselves.

1/24/2009 2:59:17 PM

Does anyone else hear "the delta" used continuously as a replacement for "the difference"?
The topic is finance and price differences between calculations -- static figures, not dynamic.

1/24/2009 3:17:53 PM

i'd probably punch someone in the face if i ever heard them say "the delta" with a serious face

1/24/2009 3:20:58 PM

i think that what most people think of as "business jargon" is really talk focusing on management and management practices

it's funny, because while it seems (and often is) mind numbing, management and the art of management is incredibly important

i have a lot of conflicting views on this subject, but I am starting to discount, a bit, the typical type of response by the thread creator.

[Edited on January 24, 2009 at 3:23 PM. Reason : .]

1/24/2009 3:21:25 PM

if business jargon annoys you, then walking into an engineering office would blow your mind.

1/24/2009 3:31:45 PM

Umm, delta has a specific meaning in finance.

http://financial-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/delta

[Edited on January 24, 2009 at 3:49 PM. Reason : .]

1/24/2009 3:49:25 PM

1/24/2009 3:51:19 PM

http://isd.usc.edu/~karl/Bingo/

how many did you get on buzzword bingo.

[Edited on January 24, 2009 at 3:56 PM. Reason : .]

1/24/2009 3:56:31 PM

^god, i hate it when people use champion as a verb

1/24/2009 4:31:27 PM

No doubt. The problem w/ business jargon is that it's easy to use but it's absolutely meaningless to whoever is listening. The manager who's worked his way up the ranks and knows his shit uses it. Unfortunately, so does the 25-year-old MBA grad who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. I have alot of respect for businessmen that can deliver speeches that rely on specific problems, solutions, and don't rely on the buzz words. One of the few bright spots of a recession is that the middle management that don't really have any substance behind the buzz words can't hide anymore, and get either get shown the door or given a job where they actually have to do something.

1/25/2009 9:56:07 AM

i loled at buzzword bingo.

our operations manager is always ready to rock and roll on whatever is about to get cooking in the fire.

1/25/2009 10:01:39 AM

Quote :

"Does anyone else hear "the delta" used continuously as a replacement for "the difference"? The topic is finance and price differences between calculations -- static figures, not dynamic."

I use it like this.


Because that's what it means.


I don't work in the finance industry.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Difference_operator



I also use these terms a lot:

paradigm
metaphor
design intent
design language
authored

[Edited on January 25, 2009 at 10:15 AM. Reason : .]

1/25/2009 10:12:58 AM

im already starting to hate our business side lead for my final research project. it's this tool from IBM and all he does is spit out industry buzzwords.

just like it was said above, ive never heard so much talking with nothing said.

1/25/2009 11:05:30 AM

1/25/2009 11:06:55 AM

nga im all about some leveraging

1/25/2009 11:25:48 AM

^^^^ But do you use it for [Price A] - [Price B] = the delta.
There are no formulas/functions or anything just $0.25 - $0.15 = a delta of $0.10

Just seems overkill to me for such a basic subtraction problem.

[Edited on January 25, 2009 at 11:26 AM. Reason : ^]

1/25/2009 11:25:53 AM

it's shorter than saying "the difference"

1/25/2009 11:27:00 AM

^Personal opinion: It's worth taking the extra .4 seconds to avoid sounding like a complete dicking moron.

1/25/2009 11:33:55 AM

But instead of "we have a delta of $0.10" you could say, "we are high $0.10". Which it what it really is anyway. one price is a target, the other is what we have.

1/25/2009 11:35:19 AM

see i dont know shit about the finance meanings of it

i use it a lot for tank levels and shit between time 1 and time 2

often it's not a linear function but need to amount of change over the time period

1/25/2009 11:37:10 AM

^ Over time or some variable -- exactly. I agree with your usage.

1/25/2009 11:40:02 AM

if i hear the word synergy my brain disconnects from all my bodily sensory inputs for a solid ten minutes

1/25/2009 11:45:17 AM

sup guys it's a new day and i'm excited

time to leverage some leadership opportunities

1/26/2009 10:20:27 AM

how has 'synergy' not yet made it into this thread

1/26/2009 10:24:39 AM

two posts above you

1/26/2009 10:26:02 AM

HI, IM STR8FOOLISH, AND I AM SMARTER THAN YOU!!!

you know because i tell you repeatedly

1/26/2009 10:26:39 AM

I see it...try to avoid it...but it comes

Its one of those things where I don't go out of my way to use it or go out of my way not to use it

If its fits the nature of the conversation I'll slip in the lingo, but I don't make it a point to to include it

Outside of the office, I try to limit its use almost entirely

1/26/2009 10:28:08 AM

where in this fucking thread did i say i was smart

you don't exactly have to be a genius to consider business jabber dumb

1/26/2009 10:28:14 AM

you try and imply it in almost every post you make

keyword: try

1/26/2009 10:29:27 AM

EPIC

CROSS-FUNCTIONAL

SILO-BUSTING

1/26/2009 10:32:38 AM

why do i give a shit what a bunch of yahoos like you think

the only person i try to impress is my adviser

edit:

Quote :

" EPIC CROSS-FUNCTIONAL SILO-BUSTING "

ahahah what the fuck

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 10:35 AM. Reason : .]

1/26/2009 10:32:50 AM

still keeping with that whole "its safer to live my life on a college campus" theory i see


good luck with all that

1/26/2009 10:35:15 AM

i'm going to start using the words from that bingo game in my weekly report. i bet i'm promoted in three months time.

1/26/2009 10:35:37 AM

I love the word synergy, but only because some chick told me that our synergy was amazing while dancing to some Michael Jackson songs.

1/26/2009 10:36:20 AM

^^^look not really interested in wasting my time educating you v v

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 10:37 AM. Reason : .]

1/26/2009 10:37:22 AM

HAI GUIZ

NEW HORIZONZ

1/26/2009 10:37:45 AM

sadly I actually heard a VP use the phrase "Cross-functional Silo Busting" during an all hands meeting.

I don't think anyone, including the VP himself, knew what the fuck that was supposed to mean.

But he looked really proud of himself for using the phrase.

1/26/2009 10:39:22 AM

Quote :

"HAI GUIZ NEW HORIZONZ"

*stares at the latest quarterly report thoughtfully*

*takes his glasses off, rubbing his eyes. lights his pipe again and pours through the data*

*and then... an intellectual breakthrough! the lightbulb came on, and I shot up from my chair*

Yes.. YES THAT'S IT. We need more synergy.

*rubberstamps it*

1/26/2009 10:39:48 AM

go watch last week's 30 rock episode.

1/26/2009 10:40:24 AM

Quote :

"sadly I actually heard a VP use the phrase "Cross-functional Silo Busting" during an all hands meeting. I don't think anyone, including the VP himself, knew what the fuck that was supposed to mean. But he looked really proud of himself for using the phras"

i'm going to be the bestest middle manager ever

because, through the wonders of the interweb, I now understand what that term means

like most buzz terms it attempts to take a full range of goals and ideas and shrinks them down to a single catchy statement

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 10:56 AM. Reason : .]

1/26/2009 10:56:10 AM

^^ do not bad mouth synergy

i don't really mind business talk, but it does amuse me at times. does anyone else's company use "true statement" all the time?

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 10:57 AM. Reason : d]

1/26/2009 10:57:07 AM

since this may be the right place

how many of you are six sigma certified

green belt here! ('07)

1/26/2009 10:58:01 AM

^I like my companies like I like my women











LEAN

1/26/2009 11:12:14 AM

I have more business jargon than all of the rest of you put together...

I call them "brevity terms", though, and do my best to make them sound cool.



http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/usaf/docs/mcm3-1-a1.htm

Just a tiny slice of my business jargon.

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 11:33 AM. Reason : almost another language]

1/26/2009 11:24:12 AM