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 Message Boards » » TWW critique time! Page [1] 2, Next  
RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1EVeSxr4gk

Critique it up bitches! There's another one coming. I know you guys are very open about your "opinions" so bring it on

1/27/2009 11:47:19 PM

Sweden
All American
12305 Posts
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1st

1/27/2009 11:47:38 PM

Big Business
Suspended
9099 Posts
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i have a question.

you like never post on here, but you add pics like every day. whats with that?
they truncate & watermark pics anyways

I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

1/27/2009 11:48:03 PM

thegoodoctor
All American
1670 Posts
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Is that you?

1/27/2009 11:49:52 PM

Dammit100
All American
17605 Posts
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Quote :
"FANCY

PAGEANT

WALKIN'"

1/27/2009 11:49:55 PM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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I have limited internet access since I don't have my own computer so I can only go own when I borrow someone else's.

1/27/2009 11:49:57 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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im not clicking your link you hussy

1/27/2009 11:50:06 PM

Big Business
Suspended
9099 Posts
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^^^^ i don't think so (at least not anymore)

I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

[Edited on January 27, 2009 at 11:50 PM. Reason : totally did not answer my question, but its cool you're foxxxy]

1/27/2009 11:50:08 PM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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Still trying to upload the other one to Youtube but it's taking FOREVER

1/27/2009 11:50:35 PM

DiscGolfer
All American
2710 Posts
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Quote :
"so I can only go own when I borrow someone else's."

1/27/2009 11:51:09 PM

GrimReap3r
All American
2732 Posts
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I'd hit it....but I probably wouldnt tell alot of ppl

1/27/2009 11:51:37 PM

eahanhan
All American
21370 Posts
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obviously i'm not a dude, but my main critique is that it might be better to have a chair up there, to be able to do the stocking strip sitting on the chair, and then not have to awkwardly get up from the stage ledge.

and i think if there's a way for the heels to stay on, they're hot.

1/27/2009 11:52:10 PM

Kickstand
All American
11974 Posts
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2 out of 5 stars

1/27/2009 11:54:43 PM

nattrngnabob
Suspended
1038 Posts
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Eh, personally I think you need to slow your movements down, be a little more sensual.

But I don't know dick about that burlesque shit or whatever it is you do.

1/27/2009 11:55:00 PM

DivaBaby19
Davidbaby19
45208 Posts
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Engage the audience more than rubbing your gloves on your tits and ass.

yea and use a chair on stage

1/27/2009 11:55:57 PM

RachelMarie
All American
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Yeah, we didn't have a chair to use, which sucks. And I only have like 2 minutes to take off my clothes so I gotta be all quick like....burlesque songs that are longer than 2 minutes are hard to find. I found a 3 minute one. That's my next project.

[Edited on January 27, 2009 at 11:59 PM. Reason : .]

1/27/2009 11:57:42 PM

OmarBadu
zidik
25097 Posts
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you showed no emotion whatsoever - very bland

1/27/2009 11:58:10 PM

RachelMarie
All American
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Usually I keep my heels on but I left the robe I use in Atlanta so I had to take off the stockings instead.

1/27/2009 11:58:41 PM

Dammit100
All American
17605 Posts
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less corsets + less pasties = profit

1/27/2009 11:58:51 PM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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I'm too fat to take off my corset. Actually, I broke the seams because I gained so much weight it couldn't hold me in

1/28/2009 12:00:14 AM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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I did make $160 for 4 minutes total on stage...not too shabby

1/28/2009 12:00:42 AM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mi-XslbWcLA

Number 2

1/28/2009 12:01:16 AM

sawahash
All American
35322 Posts
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I liked it...

1/28/2009 12:01:32 AM

ReceiveDeath
INEED2 GET HIRITENOW
70330 Posts
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epic triple post

1/28/2009 12:01:35 AM

Dammit100
All American
17605 Posts
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alright, then do some crunches, get some clear heels and put on some motley crue.

1/28/2009 12:01:54 AM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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The second one is still "processing." Damn technology.

1/28/2009 12:02:38 AM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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Aight, good now

1/28/2009 12:09:34 AM

Kiwi
All American
38546 Posts
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Is this like classy stripping?

My you are a brave one and certainly confident for doing that in front of lots of people!

Do you make a lot of money in tips when you do that?

I'd suggest more "sexy" or sensual moves, you seem to just walk around the stage a lot.... pooch the ass, wiggle it, sway those hips, wink and kiss the crowd, run a stocking between your legs back and forth, or is that too stripper-ish?

I dunno

1/28/2009 12:12:04 AM

Jaybee1200
Suspended
56200 Posts
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that burlesque shit is soooo boring and overdone

1/28/2009 12:12:49 AM

DiscGolfer
All American
2710 Posts
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my penis frowned @ ur show. sorry

1/28/2009 12:13:14 AM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
34079 Posts
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I'm a complete novice to the whole burlesque scene

but from a general social viewpoint

Is it more acceptable to strip in this manner than it is in your typical club

or is it something else entirely, an art form of sorts that shouldn't be confused with the averaged strip tease ?

1/28/2009 12:14:59 AM

Seotaji
All American
34244 Posts
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i'd leave the stockings on. it makes your legs look slimmer from a distance.

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 12:15 AM. Reason : ehj]

1/28/2009 12:15:01 AM

RachelMarie
All American
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I try to keep the line between stripper-ish and classic burlesque very clear. The stage was tiny so I didn't have room to prance about like I usually do.

I got paid $50 for the show, so $110 in tips.

1/28/2009 12:15:49 AM

RachelMarie
All American
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Quote :
"Is it more acceptable to strip in this manner than it is in your typical club"


At a gay bar and burlesque show, yes. Typical clubs, which I avoid like the plague, no.

1/28/2009 12:16:47 AM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
34079 Posts
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I mean its kinda cool

But if I'm looking for a good time

I'm gonna go to a standard titty bar instead any day of the week

but thats me

1/28/2009 12:17:22 AM

OmarBadu
zidik
25097 Posts
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the second video was just the same - more walking around - no excitement - no talent whatsoever - it just looks like any half decent looking girl could do what you do

1/28/2009 12:18:02 AM

khcadwal
All American
35165 Posts
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how did you get into burlesque? it is a neat hobby. i don't know if hobby is the right word, but you know what i meannn.

1/28/2009 12:21:20 AM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
34079 Posts
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Pole work is the bane of any stripper's existence

Since you don't use a pole, you need a chair or some other apparatus to differentiate yourself from the pack

Anyone can prance around like ^^he said...you need a signature move

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 12:22 AM. Reason : x]

1/28/2009 12:22:09 AM

Shadowrunner
All American
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In everything you do on stage, keep in mind that it is a performance. People are staring at you and watching your every move, so there should never be a moment that you're not in time with the music and looking choreographed, even if some of the exact motions are improvised.

With that in mind, work on exaggerating your movements more for dramatic effect. You need to overact when you're on stage, because people have varying vantage points, lighting is usually bad, and you want people to notice details that make your routine exciting rather than commonplace.

Some examples of small touches that could really improve the overall impact and sex appeal:

1. Don't just bend your elbow and have your hand in your face when pulling off the gloves. Hold your hand out in front of you or to the side, with your hand posed delicately for as long as possible while you pull it off with the other hand.

2. Draping the hose around your shoulders isn't sexy. I agree that a chair would give you more options at that point, but when you're going to toss them away, don't just toss them without appearing to give any thought about it. Make a dramatic pause, re-engage the audience, and THEN toss.

3. In general, you never want to be putting anything down in a manner that makes it feel like you're just discarding it or putting it there because it's convenient. You want to come across as purposeful in your every move, that you're in full control of the stage and everything on it. So make a production out of taking off the shoes, don't just set them aside like they were just something in your way before getting to the hose. Get shoes that can be easily kicked off or something, and kick them off with fanfare and posing.

4. Work more on the getting down and getting back up, to do it gracefully. Pose more with your legs on the edge of the stage, rather than hanging off where the light isn't hitting them well anymore and some people won't be able to see them.

5. Take elongated, elegant strides rather than small, hurried-looking steps. For that song, maybe that means stepping on every other beat and stretching it out at some points, like when you got up the second time. You never want the audience to feel like you're rushed, because that's the opposite of them feeling like you're stringing them along. Two minutes is short, but you want them to feel like it was longer.

6. Exaggerate your motions, all of them! I'll say it again, make a huge production out of everything. Burlesque is not meant to be mundane, it should be larger than life. And always pay attention to the audience, they're your focal point. For example, when you take off the second glove, you rub it on your booty, but then you twirl it unceremoniously at hip level in a tiny tiny circle then toss it to the side, all while looking at exactly nothing. Look at the audience when you do it, and make it bigger.

7. Attention to the booty is great, but don't forget you have a gorgeous face, too, and in general you don't ever want to be hiding it from the audience. When you turn around, twist your head back and give some flirty smiles, some little "come-hither" looks, something to stay engaged with the audience.

1/28/2009 12:22:36 AM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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^You should be my choreographer! That's my least favorite part about burlesque...I hate choreographing!

1/28/2009 12:28:22 AM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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Quote :
"how did you get into burlesque?"


Kind of randomly...someone told me to audition, so I did and they chose me for whatever reason. Been doing it ever since, but not much until recently since NC doesn't have much of a burlesque "scene"

Shadowrunner wins the critique award-that's what I was looking for!

1/28/2009 12:31:25 AM

Shadowrunner
All American
18332 Posts
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Quote :
"I'm a complete novice to the whole burlesque scene

but from a general social viewpoint

Is it more acceptable to strip in this manner than it is in your typical club

or is it something else entirely, an art form of sorts that shouldn't be confused with the averaged strip tease ?"


Burlesque dancers are more about the tease than the reward, as compared to the average stripper. It's supposed to be more of a dramatic art with really elaborate, over-the-top choreography and staging, and humor; the focus isn't just on the girl's T&A.

1/28/2009 12:45:03 AM

mildew
Drunk yet Orderly
14177 Posts
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id hit it...

1/28/2009 2:49:44 AM

Hurley
Suspended
7284 Posts
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work on getting those clothes off a little smoother



(or is doing it that way the point?)

1/28/2009 8:38:13 AM

DivaBaby19
Davidbaby19
45208 Posts
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^^lol surprise of the century

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 8:40 AM. Reason : e]

1/28/2009 8:40:21 AM

Stimwalt
All American
15292 Posts
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Lose some weight and listen to Shadowrunner. That is all.

1/28/2009 8:40:53 AM

pooljobs
All American
3481 Posts
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watch chicago
steal moves

1/28/2009 8:49:46 AM

Joie
begonias is my boo
22491 Posts
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Quote :
"Lose some weight and listen to Shadowrunner. That is all."

1/28/2009 9:11:54 AM

RachelMarie
All American
3801 Posts
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^I'm working on a number called Emerald Cabaret. It's going to be sort of like Chicago. I want a top hat and a cane!

1/28/2009 9:12:52 AM

ambrosia1231
eeeeeeeeeevil
76471 Posts
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You're very, very stiff, dear.

1/28/2009 9:22:16 AM

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