I dont have many friends anymore, how does one meet friends in a post college world

2/1/2009 9:49:59 PM

At work.

2/1/2009 9:51:03 PM

At work.

Or associations related to work.

2/1/2009 9:53:44 PM

make friends w/ your favorite bartender.

2/1/2009 9:55:09 PM

Church was the traditional social networking.

There's always jaycees, kiwanis, etc. I don't know much about them but some of them have younger members than others.

Never hurts to say hey to the neighbors, throw a cookout every now and then.

Do people still play softball, etc around here?

2/1/2009 9:55:54 PM

2/1/2009 10:00:08 PM

My neighbors are all kinda sketchy or old. my only cool neighbor moved. i dont really hang out with work people outside of work. Im kind of on the verge of becoming a complete loner recluse.

2/1/2009 10:00:12 PM

fishing buddies

2/1/2009 10:11:16 PM

Go join a club or something then. Don't become that guy.

2/1/2009 10:11:51 PM

anyone wanna hang out

2/1/2009 10:14:56 PM

you can go fishing with me

[Edited on February 1, 2009 at 10:19 PM. Reason : i am not post-college though]

2/1/2009 10:18:48 PM

If I lived in Raleigh, I would be your friend.

You seem alright on t-dub, plus it never hurts to have cop-friends.

2/1/2009 10:24:03 PM

we need to revive the wolf web get togethers of old

2/1/2009 10:24:03 PM

you guys hanging out?

2/1/2009 10:30:23 PM

meetup.com

2/1/2009 10:37:11 PM

this thread is relevant to my interests (no homo)

seems like whenever i start making friends they all move away.

2/1/2009 10:40:46 PM

we need to all hang out, wolf web style

2/1/2009 10:46:03 PM

I always find I meet people if I join an activity of some sort. I am in the Navy and move every 3 years or so, so I have gotten used to the fact that friends come and go. I am really big into bowling, so everywhere I go I join a bowling league. it's fun that night, and I typically meet people beyond just that social setting. I think anytime there is competition involved, it brings out a bond in people.

By the way, what's the best way to keep a cop from giving you a speeding ticket after he pulls you over?

2/1/2009 10:49:51 PM

http://thewolfweb.com/message_section.aspx?section=13
http://brentroad.com/message_section.aspx?section=13

[Edited on February 1, 2009 at 11:04 PM. Reason : .]

2/1/2009 11:03:41 PM

Quote :

"By the way, what's the best way to keep a cop from giving you a speeding ticket after he pulls you over?"

Not being a rude asshole is a good start

2/1/2009 11:10:16 PM

yeah but i don't know any cops that meet that description

2/1/2009 11:14:19 PM

i am polite all the time, unless i need to be a hardass

2/1/2009 11:20:15 PM

when i moved 3 years after graduation - the people i'm mainly friends with are people in my neighborhood - i met a bunch of them at our neighborhood pool shortly after we moved in and we've been hanging out since

2/1/2009 11:24:57 PM

No pool here, my neighbors are either old or sketchy

2/1/2009 11:37:27 PM

i have this problem too. i move around a bit so i have to start over with making local friends every couple of years.

to remedy this i just plan an obscene amount of out of town trips to go hang out with the friends i already have. i have a few in--town friends but nothing really close, just people to go to the movies and lunch and shit with

2/1/2009 11:39:00 PM

Quote :

"to remedy this i just plan an obscene amount of out of town trips to go hang out with the friends i already have. i have a few in--town friends but nothing really close, just people to go to the movies and lunch and shit with"

that's not really a remedy as much as a band-aid on a gaping flesh wound

Quote :

"No pool here, my neighbors are either old or sketchy"

are you involved in anything - some of our other friends are on our soccer team that we joined

[Edited on February 1, 2009 at 11:51 PM. Reason : i will say that i moved around a decent amount as a kid and that really helped after college as well]

2/1/2009 11:41:27 PM

well people kind of back off getting close to you once you start talking and realize that im going to be moving in the next 2 years or so

ive tried making friends out here and i have some but no one really close. ive been here for a solid year but there just isnt anyone out here i could really confide in. although thats probably not saying much since it takes me awhile to open up to people too. i just need time i guess

2/1/2009 11:45:51 PM

I second bowling.

2/1/2009 11:54:06 PM

1. join a league of anything
from bowling to kickball, as long as it gives you regular exposure to the same 5-10 people and sporadic exposure to a wide variety of people on other teams, you're golden

2. even if you don't like the people offering an invite, go to anything you're invited to
you will have a much easier time meeting new people if you're already with someone, literally ANYONE

3. not gonna front here - switch political parties
the number of opportunities to meet progressives in your age group is so much larger than those opportunities to meet conservatives in your bracket (even in dixie-ass north carolina)

2/2/2009 12:25:40 AM

Team sport/activity is definitely the way to go. The shit talking and story telling before and after my hockey games is a blast.

For shy or insecure people, I think a modern progressive church is probably the easiest route. Plenty of 20's and 30's people that are generally polite and inviting.

2/2/2009 2:25:20 AM

ALSO

start collecting something

records, coins, comics, vintage furniture, something

you'll run into the same people the the stores/hangouts common to those hobbies

2/2/2009 3:18:42 AM

Quote :

"ive tried making friends out here and i have some but no one really close. ive been here for a solid year but there just isnt anyone out here i could really confide in. although thats probably not saying much since it takes me awhile to open up to people too. i just need time i guess"

I pretty much feel the same way. There are a couple of people that I would really consider "friends" at this point, but mostly just a lot of activity buddies. Most of the people I end up hanging out with are fairly recent transplants to the area too (<5 years) so we are all in this state of "how long will we still be here".

2/2/2009 4:13:47 AM

2/2/2009 7:40:36 AM

Quote :

"There's always jaycees, kiwanis, etc. I don't know much about them but some of them have younger members than others."

JCs are all under 40; i was thinking about getting into that myself

2/2/2009 12:01:17 PM

you'd think people in your community would be more friendly, but very rarely do i interact with my neighbors. I chat w/my next door neighbor some, but he's much older than me so we never do anything like bbq's or football stuff. Idk. I also don't have a gf, so couples activities makes it hard for me.

umm...i did start to make friends at my gym. Basically just chatting up the trainers, meet the trainers friends, chat them up, accidently run into one at the grocery store, chat them up, next thing you know, you are friends.


work friends


meetup.com, although i've never used that site, there are a lot of events/social activities on there that people can go to.


also, spending less time on the internet, but we all know that's a lot to ask of wolf webbers

2/2/2009 12:06:26 PM

I met some people people in our work softball league

Basically there's 3 types of people that play inter-office sports:

The super competitive, win at all cost assholes

The play to win the game, but realize its a casual affair and don't go 110 percent cool cats

and the Just there to be seen, don't really give a fuck assholes


I seek out the middle group

2/2/2009 12:08:21 PM

don't forget the 'show up and drink beer' group

2/2/2009 12:17:20 PM

you make friends by not being a social awkward weird person

2/2/2009 12:32:37 PM

Quote :

"not gonna front here - switch political parties"

ahh yes, throw away your own beliefs, standards, and morals for those of the lesser party!

2/2/2009 12:35:24 PM

music, sports, work in that order usually if its meeting someone new totally unconnected to anyone else I already know but usually its just meeting friends of current friends that I hadn't met before. IE you make one new friend through one of those above mediums, and subsequently meet several people because of that.

2/2/2009 12:37:18 PM

strip club. seriously.

2/2/2009 12:38:15 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/personals.cgi?category=cas

2/2/2009 12:41:55 PM

I think there was another thread similar to this on how to meet folks for romantic times. The advice is similar:

1) Pick a cause you feel good about and go volunteer doing it. Feed the homeless, pick trash off the side of the road, plant trees, etc. Volunteer with your political party. Surely there's something out there appealing to you.

2) Hobbies - dance clubs/lessons, bowling leagues, poker nights, cycling group rides, art/cooking classes are some that come to mind. Aren't there even video game leagues to join?

3) If all else fails, join a church or spiritual group. Often these are many communities' social hubs.

2/2/2009 12:42:37 PM

work
sports
church
other

2/2/2009 2:00:12 PM

Kinda bums me out but anyone I try to make friends with (mostly girls) usually ends and usually not well . Sometimes I feel like I am a horrible person, but yet I know I'm not cause I try hard to do the right thing and be a good person/friend. There must be something I have missed in the handbook of being a good friend! Its like I have a female friend repellent or something

[Edited on February 2, 2009 at 2:41 PM. Reason : zxcv]

2/2/2009 2:28:58 PM

Quote :

"I rarely find this to be true of guy friends I have and I am not sure if it is because they are attracted to me or they lack the ability to create drama... "

best case scenario might be because you share same interests as guys
worst case scenario is it is because they are interested in you
or both a & b

friendships are never gonna be perfectly reciprocal. it is tough to make friends as ending college / starting life is a very big transition.

the best way to make new friends is to just always keep a positive attitude on things, maintain a good level of self-confidence, and don't let your past friendship dramas screw up new opportunities. just because one person sold you out doesn't mean another person will.

also, saying things like "we should hang out sometime" is basically no better than saying nothing at all. if youre actually interested in spending time with someone, take the initiative to set up a time/date, and it will most likely happen.

2/2/2009 2:44:27 PM

Well our conversations just don't finish with the phrase "We ought to catch up" I mean I actually give them a way to contact me and encourage them to contact me. And if they don't leave me a number then I can't contact them. But I am not gonna beat a dead horse trying to get up with a friend...

2/2/2009 2:58:04 PM

I too have very few friends. I have exactly one friend in Raleigh, and I can't even go drinking with her because she is a mormon

I think though, that I'm gonna try to find a good church around here to go to. I wouldn't mind meeting a nice Lutheran boy.

[Edited on February 2, 2009 at 3:01 PM. Reason : ]

2/2/2009 2:58:47 PM

Quote :

"the lesser party!"

lol

have you been in a coma since 2004

2/2/2009 3:08:47 PM

We could become hipsters together.

2/2/2009 3:29:40 PM