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 Message Boards » » Religion Jokes Page [1]  
bdmazur
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I was in the bookstore the other day and found erotica in the "Christianity" section.

I especially loved the part where Jesus got nailed.

2/6/2009 4:33:15 PM

scotieb24
Commish
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and wood

2/6/2009 4:34:43 PM

bdmazur
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I'll be fair:

What is a Jew's biggest temptation?

Free pork

2/6/2009 4:36:13 PM

ParksNrec
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2/6/2009 4:36:30 PM

bdmazur
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Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? They allow full-facial nudity.

2/6/2009 4:42:09 PM

ndmetcal
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any joke involving jesus no longer being able to walk on water or hold m&m's due to his holes

2/6/2009 4:46:28 PM

bdmazur
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So the Catholic Crucifix has the image of Jesus nailed to the cross, but Protestants have a plain cross with no Jesus.

I once asked a Catholic nun why that is.

She responded, "Because Jesus doesn't like to hang with them"

[Edited on February 6, 2009 at 10:43 PM. Reason : True Story!]

2/6/2009 10:42:42 PM

Grandmaster
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2/6/2009 10:44:59 PM

Flying Tiger
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dum dum dum dum dum

2/6/2009 11:42:17 PM

aph319
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I actually read the guy's wikipedia article yesterday. It's a good read if you have the time.

2/7/2009 12:30:13 AM

bdmazur
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what's the difference between a jew and a canoe? a canoe eventually tips.

2/7/2009 3:31:10 AM

lmnop
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Why don't Baptists fuck standing up?









Someone might think they are dancing.

2/7/2009 10:38:17 AM

colter
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whats the only thing wrong with a southern baptist?

they dont hold em under long enough.

2/7/2009 10:47:32 AM

blasphemour
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whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?

it only takes one nail to hang the picture.

2/7/2009 10:48:51 AM

Nerdchick
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What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?


Methodists wave to each other in the liquor store

2/7/2009 11:07:04 AM

Str8Foolish
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When I dressed as Jesus for Halloween, I used the following as a pickup line:

"I'm hung like THIS" and held my arms out like I was on the cross

Worked pretty good on a chick dressed like a Crusader but seriously, that one was a layup from the beginning

[Edited on February 7, 2009 at 12:14 PM. Reason : actually messed the joke up the first time i typed it wtf]

2/7/2009 12:06:51 PM

bdmazur
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^you could have added that you can stay hung for 3 days with a promise of a second cumming

2/7/2009 10:37:34 PM

OopsPowSrprs
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I was going to post the "hung like this" joke but someone already beat me to it.

2/7/2009 10:41:06 PM

QTPie
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Don't let your worries get the best of you... Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

2/7/2009 11:36:23 PM

bdmazur
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Moses and Jesus are out playing a round of golf and both hit their last balls into the water.

Moses walks up, holds out his arms, and the water parts. He walks out, picks up his ball, walks back, and the water closed.

Jesus figures the water isn't too deep, so he decides to walk out on top of the water and then reach down to get his ball. He takes two steps in and falls flat on his face into the water.

He walks out soaking wet, and says to Moses, "I don't get it, that used to work great."

Moses looks down, looks back up, and says "It probably worked better when you didn't have holes in your feet."

2/8/2009 12:10:40 AM

bdmazur
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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit in the back of the oven.

2/9/2009 2:41:41 PM

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