I bought a box about a week ago. After my first bowl, my stomach began to ache as if something was growing inside of it. Sure enough the biggest shit of my life had grown and was ready to unearth itself.

Each time I go to the commode after bowls of these, I lose about 5 lbs but it doesnt come without Cold Sweats, Fevers, Yelling at the top of my lungs, panting, and loss of memory.

2/10/2009 8:58:27 AM

when i was 7 i ate a whole box of Cracklin Oat Bran

2/10/2009 9:00:38 AM

well, you should have known this by the title of the box

2/10/2009 9:03:01 AM

sucks to be you

2/10/2009 9:04:23 AM

2/10/2009 9:42:04 AM

I have taken to eating grapefruit recently.
A few days back I had 2 in one day.

Next time I took a shit, there were lots of undigested pieces of grapefruit amongst the explosion.

2/10/2009 9:44:24 AM

LOL

I get that everytime I eat anything greasy anymore. The healthy food only mantra has ruined my ability to stomach delicious, delicious, saturated fats.

2/10/2009 9:47:59 AM

^ Same here.

Y'all should try that Kashi Lean Crunch cereal. That stuff will consistently give you the worst farts you've ever smelled.

2/10/2009 11:06:44 AM

ItsNotNme amirite

[Edited on February 10, 2009 at 11:10 AM. Reason : .]

2/10/2009 11:10:14 AM

Quote :

"I get that everytime I eat anything greasy anymore. The healthy food only mantra has ruined my ability to stomach delicious, delicious, saturated fats."

[WARNING: TMI]

zorthage has a terrible diet, and worse shits.
The master bathroom: really, a closet with a toilet and sink. He'll stink up the entire bedroom when he shits in there.
The hall bathroom: bigger, and has a fan. We keep the door shut all the time because the dog likes to get into the trash. He always forgets to turn on the fan.

I'm far too familiar with the smell of my fiance's shits.

...When I indulge in bad-for-me food, my shits smell like his. When I'm eating right, well, they still smell human.

2/10/2009 11:12:42 AM

i call bullshit

it takes hours, not minutes to digest the fiber in a bowl

if you at it for breakfast, you may be passing the effects of the fiber by lunch, not as soon as you finish

2/10/2009 11:15:50 AM

If I eat at a Japanese steak house, I'd better be within a 15 minute drive of a toilet because that shit Pearl Harbor's my ass every time. I don't know about fiber, but that shit is quick actin'.

2/10/2009 11:19:17 AM

Quote :

"If I eat at a Japanese steak house, I'd better be within a 15 minute drive of a toilet because that shit Pearl Harbor's my ass every time."

ditto

2/10/2009 11:21:12 AM

different process.

you realize you're not expelling what you just ate, in that case, right?

2/10/2009 11:24:57 AM

aha

2/10/2009 11:26:13 AM

Quote :

"you realize you're not expelling what you just ate, in that case, right?"

Unless you're that guy with only like 2 or 3 meters of total intestine.

2/10/2009 11:37:16 AM

I am telling you what happens when I eat a bowl of cereal, I dont care WHAT i am digesting I am just telling you that when I get done with that bowl of Fiber One, something begins to erupt inside of me!

2/10/2009 11:41:52 AM

fiber one is one of the things I use to keep me regular. I try to eat about 35 grams of fiber per day.

since I started that, my deuces have been more regular, and deucing has been less of an effort.

fiber is good, eat healthy

this thread made me lolz

2/10/2009 11:46:07 AM

These pretty much go in and come out looking exactly the same.

2/10/2009 11:46:52 AM

Quote :

"you realize you're not expelling what you just ate, in that case, right?"

All I know is, after eating that, I have to shit with a quickness, velocity and insane quantity. Last time there was an Asian dude in a 1940's pilot outfit in the toilet when I was done.

2/10/2009 12:01:57 PM

yeah, i have to agree that Fiber One products result in copious amount of methane

i had to quit eating it for fear of divorce.

2/10/2009 12:05:43 PM

Quote :

"when i was 7 i ate a whole box of Cracklin Oat Bran"

Did you eat all of the Cracklin Oat Bran?

2/10/2009 12:12:53 PM

what brand was it?

2/10/2009 12:27:05 PM