http://www.holladaddy.com/

For all of you that are curious about the other side of myspace.

A decent short one:

Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
The Best Running Back Alive

Photo:

Message he sent me:
hay beautiful how was ur day today but anyways do u have a AIM so i can AIM u sometime

My response:
nah I don’t got AIM, playa. but wuts good wit chu? u eva go down on a priest?

Him:
Oh really but do u have a yahoo messenger

Me:
I am HORNY AS FUUCK!!!!!!!

Him:
OH REALLY

Me:
YARLY. So wut u gonna do? Wut would u do 2 me if I jus threw u in mah bedroom and started tearin ur clothes off?

Him:
I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO

Me:
Swing and a miss. Maybe next time, faggot

3/16/2009 8:25:15 PM

cold blooded

3/16/2009 8:37:16 PM

sir you're an e-alchemist!

3/16/2009 8:38:13 PM

http://www.holladaddy.com/?p=151

GOLD

3/16/2009 8:38:54 PM

I've seen one where he outs a person who's typing all ghetto and they're just like "This is how black people type, it's my persona."

lol

3/16/2009 8:43:21 PM

hahahah

3/16/2009 8:43:26 PM

Part of one:

Comment she sent me:
THANKS FOR THE ADD LOVE…
WEST GOOD WEST YA NAME PAPI ….
DEY CALL YA GURL GIGI OR MAMI BKLUEK BKAYBKY….

My comment back:
SUP MAMI. U SEXXI AS SHYT. AND U TAWT LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER FUKS LOLZ

Her:
THANK YU PAPI U SEX C TOO SO WHERE YU STAY AT I STAY ON 40TH PLACE BY THE COLLISEUM

Me:
GURL U’S FIIINE. I STAY OVA ON MURGGLE STREET BY JENSON’S. SO WUT U INTO? WE SHULD GET 2GETHA SUM TIME AND KICK IT.

Her:
fasho lyk i stay by the colliseum on 4OTH PLACE BT WE CAN KICC IT DIS FRI/SAT? ITS UP TOO YU JUST DROP YA NUM OR ILL GIVE YU MINE BABY

Me:
word. we shuld head down 2 smooodle strett ova by the purplenurple and get us sum tenderbuggs. u eva had dat shyt? a sexxi thing lyke u should antoo.


Her:
NO IVE NEVER HAD ONE :}….. SO WHEN ? LOL YU HAVE A CAR ?

Me:
I take great joy in the fact that our speaking in broken English does not distract from our lust for using made up words and fictional names for places that don’t exist. And to answer your question… nah i dont guts no car, but i can gets one any time. we shuld hook up an get some skunkertoofs this weekend den chill at mah plce ova on murggle streat. Imma treat u rite all night long.

http://www.holladaddy.com/?p=149#more-149

3/16/2009 8:45:33 PM

^^^

http://www.holladaddy.com/?p=90#more-90

Her:
HUH ? boi wat is yo prob i jus asked fa u 2 comment my pics fa me an wat language r u speak n cuz dat dont look like english

Me:
You should talk about who can speak proper English, you stupid fucking ignorant cunt bitch. You didn’t spell a single word right in your last message.

Have a great day.

Her:
awww that is messed up see i only talk like that to impress other black people i dont even spell like that and you dont have to call me out of my name like that did i call you a bitch ? no i didnt its all a matter of respect but ok i guess thats how you were raised lol but hey i was raised a little more different from you i atleast know how to treat someone respectful but i can see you dont

3/16/2009 9:11:46 PM

Quote :

"????***W3ST GØØDY***???? My response: Are you trying to hit on me or are you trying to share some bad ascii art? Him: nah I’m juss bored Mii name andrew by TH33 way SØ how WAZZ ur thnxgiving Me: I want to suck you dry. Him: D?YUM Yuu got AIM sexxii Me: First I want to know why you have a keyboard from Prague."

3/17/2009 4:35:59 AM

HollaDaddy is so fly. If he eva say "How it do, sexxi?" 2 me on da spaces, ah be lyk OOOOOOO.



Shit, I'd settle for a "Dese yo ducks?" AHAHA



Wait. Is it sexxi or sexii? West good, sexxi? West good, sexii? I can't tell which one sounds better.

I wish I was this creative.

cre8yv?

Meh. I suck.


[Edited on March 17, 2009 at 5:07 AM. Reason : Wait.]

3/17/2009 4:56:54 AM

Me:
so wen shuld i picks u up at da airport shawday?

Her:
BABY U SERIOUS I AM A 28 YEAR OLD MOTHER AND U STILL WANT TO SEE ME DID U EVEN SEE MY PICS

Me:
yeah, u and ur kids are hot!

Her:
WAIT ARE U SAYING THAT JUST TO BE SAYING THAT OR U REALLY BEING SERIOUS

Me:
I’m dead serious. How do you feel about me?

Her:
BABY U HAVE AFRAID TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION CAUSE WHEN I WAS SAYING NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU U SAID I WAS OFFENDING U SO I AM KIND SCARED TO ANSWER THAT I DONT WANT TO OFFEND U
AND THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT

Me:
You can be honest with me. I admire honesty.

Her:
U DONT LOOK 6'1"

Me:
I’m reporting you.

[Edited on March 17, 2009 at 5:10 AM. Reason : I'm reporting you.]

3/17/2009 5:02:57 AM

haha http://www.holladaddy.com/?p=105

and then http://www.holladaddy.com/?p=110

3/17/2009 5:30:54 AM

people that type and talk like that should be shot on site.

3/17/2009 8:50:09 AM

Message she sent me:
wats up u think u gansta boo

My response:
just smartcrane ova on waaklo. so wut u lyke 2 do for fun, gurl?

Her:
Chill n get 2 know wat u all about u

Me:
hawt. im into stealin cars and eating chicken. wut u into gurl?

Her:
O really so wat u. Do wit then after u steel it I’m in to gettin my phd and partin and lookin sexy while doin it. . U got kids

Me:
i sell them an give da money 2 my sexxi kids. wut u gettin ur phd in? skankology?

Her:
Lol look if u ain’t like wat u see then u could of said that or just don’t answe. we over the computer. I just wanted to get to know u like a internet buddy. When u said u steel cars I know u don’t cuz if u do that’s lame and eventually ull get caught I gave u more cridet for ya inteligents level imma stoop down to ya level the boy who lookin for a wify on my space talkin about I’m the nigga that u could take home lmao , stupid do u know wat nigga mean ignorant as I can c u r for callin ya self that u the second nigga try to violate u look ight but u to skinny that’s 1 and then u sound like u bearly made it out of high school that’s 2 imma correct u nigga phd in surgury imma stunt on ya ass now I’m 19 no kids 2 job which I’m a nurse lpn if u know the med term for that ,if u don’t ask some one and I work at oldnavy. And I look good and nigga u know it to cuz anit no body ever called me ugly so hold that fuck u slow ass down south niggas its sad son

Me:
I have no idea what you just said, but the best of luck to you in your “surgury” classes. Seriously though, tell the 6 welfare babies you’ll have in the next decade I said hi. I promise I’ll try to swerve if I see them in the road.

3/17/2009 1:39:40 PM

^Send me some pics of ya danger zone.

3/17/2009 1:46:26 PM

10/10

3/17/2009 1:52:26 PM

Quote :

"ur kids are hot! "

3/17/2009 1:55:50 PM

haha, ok this is the funniest shit I've read on TWW in months.

V Why yes it was.

[Edited on March 17, 2009 at 2:04 PM. Reason : -]

3/17/2009 2:00:44 PM

^Wasn’t ALF a great show?

3/17/2009 2:01:46 PM

Message she sent me:
wus good

My response:
Is all good in da hood, ya feel me? How it do, sexxi?

Her:
i can digg it. im good wut chu doin

Me:
jus got home from werk, now Im checkin out mah spaces and chillin’. so wut u do for fun gurl? wut u into?

Her:
i go to da movies chill i like 2 do new things met new ppl

Me:
Hawt. I likes doin tha same.
HEY dese yo ducks?

Her:
wut

Me:
dese yo ducks?

Her:
lol ma ducks

Me:
I’m serious.

Her:
i dnt kno wut u mean by ducks

Me:
Dey look like regualar birds only sexxier.

Her:
oh ok

Me:
so, dese yo ducks?

Her:
lol i guess

Me:
WELL GET THEM THE FUCK OUT OF THE ROAD, JESUS!

3/17/2009 2:12:48 PM

This is hilarious.

The ending comments are pretty damn excellent, usually.

For example:

Quote :

"Me: First I want to know why you have a keyboard from Prague."

Hilarious.

[Edited on March 17, 2009 at 2:37 PM. Reason : V Well, in that case ^ is pretty good as well.]

3/17/2009 2:30:51 PM

That one keeps going after the Prague comment.

3/17/2009 2:32:30 PM

lol

3/17/2009 5:30:08 PM

Message he sent me:
wats up wit u, I’m Alika A.K.A. 4EN6 (forensics) I just looked through ya page and thought u would be a coo ass person to talk 2, so just hit me up and let me know what’s good wit u,also I just have to let u know I think u are absolutely gorgeous, and u have a lot of sex appeal. I’m currently workin’ on my solo mixtape now, and my song West Coa$t Anthem Stand Up will be playin on K-Day wit Hoolio G in a month or so(it’s a certified banger) so just hit me up sweetie b-cuz I would love tha opportunity to get 2 know u better

My response:
nicca, i wanna get wit chu
holla

Him:
that’s too bad because i think that ur very ugly, and i have a wonderful sexy , beautiful, girlfriend

Me:
Oh I’m sorry. I saw that you wrote to me “I think u are absolutely gorgeous, and u have a lot of sex appeal.” I guess that just means “I am a stupid piece of shit and dress like a rodeo clown”.
Take care.

Him:
that last message was sent by my girl mami don’t trip I think ur beautiful, lol she was just hatin, but we can kicc it whenever u want to, do u smoke? I got that kush all day, so holla at ya boi

Me:
Prove that it wasn’t your girlfriend in the last message by sending me a video of you crushing her face in with a brick.

3/17/2009 9:52:18 PM

comedic gold

but:

Quote :

"people that type and talk like that should be shot on site."

before you go around shooting people - perhaps you should double check your own posts

3/17/2009 10:07:17 PM

my bad. I made a typo.

3/17/2009 10:16:32 PM

this is golden.

3/17/2009 10:59:58 PM

10/10

3/17/2009 11:32:46 PM

Message he sent me:
u like my new pic?

My response:
ya dawg, i jus fuckin busted 1 out.

gotz me so hard thurr

hoffa

Him:
thnax.

Me:
so wut r u wearin?

Him:
right now im in my under wear and u?

Me:
i b wearin only panties right now hurr


Him:
sounds good! what kind?

Me:
You’re a cop.

Him:
no im not a cop. y would i be a cop. r u a cop?

Me:
Yes. Yes I am.

Him:
r u for real? dont play with me please.

Me:
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.

Him:
dont keep playin wit me. u cant be a cop, the stuff just doesnt add up.

Me:
Why u say dat? U sayin a cop cant be black? Dats racest.

Him:
thats not wat i mean…lol

Me:
I can fit my fist in my ass.

This guy read my message and then immediately sent me a Myspace IM request to which I declined.

Him:
hey sexy…so wat uve been up to?

Me:
I’M A COP!

Him:
f u dont wanna tlk to me thats all u got to say but dont keep lyin.

Me:
I’m dead serious.

Him:
okay then. wat r u doin on here then. r u catchin child predators?

Me:
Yes.

Him:
so how r things comin along?

Me:
I want to touch your manhood.

Him:
dont play wit me. r u really a cop tho?

Me:
YES. JESUS. Now where can we meet? I want to suck you off so bad.

Him:
we cant meet b/c im on the east coast and ur on the west. plus ur a cop. you’ll lock me up.

Me:
I can fly out dere.

Him:
would u really travel that far just to do that?

Me:
mos def, son. mos def

Him:
i think thats a little much dont u? y cant we just be myspace buddies?

Me:
cuz we cant fuck ova mysapce, yo

Him:
but we can tlk. dont u like to tlk.

Me:
I’M A COP!

3/17/2009 11:49:47 PM

oooooo, u a sweet thang. Im up for givin it a shot. We shuld go out sumtime. wear u gonna take me?

Him:
WELL I CANT REALLY DRIVE R DO NOTHING YET CUZ I HAD A SUIZURE AT WORK

SO DO U WANT TO BE MY G/F YES,NO R MAYBE

Me:
mmmmmm I love suizures

Him:
why u love suizures

so wats good with me ad u

Me:
Theys has good food. my bitchass loves me sum spagetty. mmmmmMMMMMM yowyy kaZOWWY!

Him:
i mean to tell u i had a seizures on june 17th

Me:
ohhh, Im sorree to here dat. Did u not pay ur car payyments or sumthing?

Him:
here my cell its (310)704-xxxx call me r text me anytime k

3/19/2009 5:27:37 PM

Message she sent me:
so wuz with ya cuttie

My response:
mashed potato sunburn colostomy

Her:
so do u think that we can get to know each other

Me:
mos def scuba shoe roast beef cholera lessons

Her:
what are u talking about roast beef what the fuck


Me:
gurl, i wantz ta crawl inside yo roast beef curtains n sheet
holla

Her:
why you did not answer my question

Me:
cuz tha dog soda rowboat dunkers dont holla at tha roofbacon

Her:
so u saying that im not cute

Me:
think whateva u want, u gumpass bitch.

Her:
dang what have i done to u

Me:
sallright wit chu eitha wit shadonkdonk skiing frisbees dig?

Her:
why you have to be so mean

Me:
thas jus howz i roll, gurl.

pazazzle-zazzle!

3/21/2009 3:55:57 PM

haha i love this shit

3/21/2009 4:51:33 PM

Quote :

"Me: hawt. im into stealin cars and eating chicken. wut u into gurl?"

ahahaha

3/21/2009 4:57:51 PM

Quote :

"dog soda rowboat dunkers dont holla at tha roofbacon"

3/23/2009 12:25:34 PM

Quote :

"Me: I can fit my fist in my ass."

3/23/2009 12:37:12 PM

Message she sent me:
was just stopn by to say gdmorning. How r u doing this morning.

My response:
good. How is your vagina?

Her:
wat r u on here lookn 4

Me:
Your vagina. u interested?

Her:
no

Me:
Ummmm, I believe I was talking to your vagina…

Her:
C’mon Captain Bustedface. Let’s do this thing.

Me:
is tht lyke ahll u think uhbout….. weel its damn sho not wat i thik uhbout so buh bye

4/5/2009 1:03:25 AM

Her:
Stop writing me, I’m sure theres plenty of myspace freaks out there who would love to chat with you but not me.

Me:
But they’re not the same as you. You’re special. You’re like the ugly duckling that turned into the girl who I punched in the face until I reached orgasm.

hahaha

4/5/2009 1:26:19 AM

haha this shit is great


Message she sent me:
well i couldnt help but notice your sexyness… add me so we can talk

My response:
hey gurl. wuts yo last name so I can add u? u look madd sexxi.

Her:
well thanx

Me:
GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING NAME, BITCH!

Her:
Who the hell are you talking to and my nbame is traneise whats your

Me:
oooo that name’s pretty gurl. Mah name’s Jamal.

so wut u lyke 2 do for fun?

Her:
shit nigga well thanx ilike to doeverything you name it and i will doit hahahohand where doyoulive

Me:
I live in Compton over at pizzmookle street. where u at?

Her:
christiabur

Me:
Fresh. We should meet up and play hungry hungry hippos.

Her:
Nigguh you krazzzy hahahaha “)

Me:
Are you not into hungry hungry hippos?

Her:
Why does it matter

Me:
Because I want to tear off your clothes with my teeth and fuck you harder than a 3 legged dog with a mouth full of peppershoes.

Her:
Wowwwwwwwwwww!haha

Me:
I’ve never been more serious in my life.

Her:
Oh i thougt u were being hilarious

Me:
I take famished hippopotami very very seriously.

Her:
Oh i thougt u were being hilarious again

Me:
A hippopotamus is a majestic, noble creature and is not to be taken lightly. You can’t just laugh at it like it’s a plane flying into a New York high rise.

Her:
Yesssss i can and i will “) haha j.p! Haha

Me:
I have a question for you.
I want to know how many pairs of socks you’ve simultaneously worn at one point before I can start a committed relationship with you and take your hand in marriage.

Her:
Umm this is when i stop talking to you because i am not trying to all dat mess!!!

Me:
What do you mean? I thought we were in love.

Her:
Ummmm no nice talking to ya c.f.

Me:
Come over to my house tonight and let me suck your toes and kill your housepets.

Her:
You are krazy bye

Me:
OK. I’ll leave you alone but first I need you to send me a picture of your dad cleaning his gun naked in the shower.

Her:
Hell no u gay ass freak what the fuck is wrong with you??? And u are not the kinda guy i would take home tew my parents! Thats all i gota say now jus leave me alone and ima call to get u some help and hm serious

Me:
Cool. What’s your number?

4/5/2009 1:30:52 AM

This is great.

4/5/2009 1:49:49 AM

kevins posting pretty late

4/5/2009 2:00:58 AM

Yeah, I know.

4/5/2009 2:03:33 AM

Him:
lol ok but whats on your agenda for this weekend

Me:
Slappin mah doofleduff.

Him:
huh im not sure what that means but i believe you told me you was gone call me

Me:
You heard wrong. I want you to b all ova mah dick this weekend. Hit me up n we can mack.

Him:
what r u kidding me i dont be on no one dick

Me:
I’m kiddin’ playboy. lets hook up. Mah pussy b DRIPPIN’. I need sum1 like u 2 fill it with ya goofjuice.

Him:
well you can get that gift granted if you call me

Me:
tightyo. i cant wait fer u 2 play wit mah dick.

Me:
imma call u 2nite, playa.

He stopped responding for some strange reason.

Me:
Fag.

Him:
what you say that for

Me:
ohh sorry.i misundderstood u. i jus get confused by da way u tawk. u typin all normal an shyt, without goin out of ur way to type in made up slang words and random capital letters. it’s confusin’ me. u needs 2 start tawkin like a downass homebizzle moosecake on da real 100. NO WAIT… on da real 110!

Me:
I SAID TALK TO ME IN MADE UP WORDS TO WOO ME. I’M LOSING MY ERECTION HERE.

Me:
I can’t believe how racist you are. It REALLY is a shame.

4/29/2009 2:25:43 PM

Hahaha, that's amazing.

4/29/2009 2:33:22 PM

I can't even read this shit

4/29/2009 2:37:38 PM

Quote :

" Oh i thougt u were being hilarious"

4/29/2009 2:49:50 PM

Quote :

"FILL WIT GOOFJUICE"

4/29/2009 2:56:20 PM

Me:
Get over here and take your pants off, jiggles.

Her:
lol u stupid,when ima c u

Me:
We need to meet up ASAP!

Her:
yea ok u keep sayn that,u aint called or nth

Me:
imma give u a ring tomorrow den, cutie. copkillah n me are gunna cum 2 yer house n fuck u hard. then we’s gunna cut up ya face and burn ur house down.

Her:
WHAT THA FUCC BLOOD WHAT TYPE OF SHIT YALL ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YALL CANT CUM THRU HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT BLOOD YALL GOT ME FUCCED UP

Me:
why you changin ya shyt all up gurl? I thot u wanted to watch me give copkillah a rusty trombone? You down or not?

Her:
naw i’m boo blood

Me:
Boo blood? What the fuck does that mean?

Her:
Well jus know i aint fuccn wit u

Me:
You’re a cunt.

5/16/2009 12:58:03 PM

oh my god this shit is gold.

5/16/2009 1:56:56 PM

Quote :

"my bad. I made a typo."

it's not a typo when you spell a completely different word, cock-looker

5/16/2009 2:09:18 PM

hilarious

reminds me of bloodninja

5/16/2009 2:10:49 PM