Inspired from a passenger who sat next to me on a flight while I was in uniform and asked me questions in rapid fire succession about all things commercial flight. Got a question or qualm? I'll try to answer it. Cue obligatory treadmill question.

5/4/2009 8:06:43 PM

how much do you actually have to do on the average commercial flight?

5/4/2009 8:08:16 PM

Man I was gonna jump all over that treadmill shit, but then you killed it for me right there at the end.

5/4/2009 8:08:25 PM

If a treadmill is on a plane, will the plane takeoff?

5/4/2009 8:08:41 PM

what treadmill question? i feel dumb

5/4/2009 8:08:49 PM

Imagine a plane is sitting on a massive conveyor belt, as wide and as long as a runway. The conveyer belt is designed to exactly match the speed of the wheels, moving in the opposite direction. Can the plane take off?

5/4/2009 8:08:57 PM

my number 1 fear in life is flying...i hit the valium like its going out of style.

can a big plane keep flying if an engine goes out or does it drop like a rock

5/4/2009 8:09:23 PM

what percentage of time is the pilot actually actively engaged in controlling the plane vs. the plane flying itself on autopilot?

5/4/2009 8:09:42 PM

^better way of asking what i wanted to know

5/4/2009 8:10:18 PM

Was the passenger next to you a chick? If so, was she hot?

5/4/2009 8:10:35 PM

btw, the plane will take off. In case anyone was wondering.

5/4/2009 8:11:41 PM

do you have personal bathrooms?

5/4/2009 8:11:47 PM

why is it so cold?

5/4/2009 8:12:11 PM

^^ that reminds me about this episode of CSI (or one of those shows)...the crew had like a secret room above the cockpit where they were supposed to be able to go and "relax". Do any planes really have those?

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 8:16 PM. Reason : .]

5/4/2009 8:13:10 PM

oh yeah, do the flight attendants, you know...

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 8:13 PM. Reason : .]

5/4/2009 8:13:25 PM

Quote :

"how much do you actually have to do on the average commercial flight?"

Hmm. Hard to accurately answer your question the way you posed it. If you're asking if it's a difficult job, my answer would be it gets easier with repetition and experience. Some flights go without a hitch, while some flights will leave you wondering what day it is.

5/4/2009 8:14:57 PM

there it is

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 8:15 PM. Reason : .]

5/4/2009 8:15:19 PM

do you have to eat the same crap the passengers eat?

5/4/2009 8:17:49 PM

whats the best way to get a gun on the plane?

5/4/2009 8:19:51 PM

Do you have a bachelor's degree? If so, in aeronautics? Where did you receive your flight training? Have you ever heard of the National Pilot Academy or ATP, are they legitimate routes to becoming an airline pilot?

aaaaannnnnnddddd finally,
how many stewardesses have you banged?

EDIT:
I'm assuming you really do get free flights, but can you get them for your family and friends? Do you get to fly first class with your free flights; your family and friends?

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 8:23 PM. Reason : ^]

5/4/2009 8:21:22 PM

have you used one of those 3D HSI's yet that you can get on the newer avionics packages?

5/4/2009 8:24:24 PM

Whoa this topic blew up in a few seconds. Let me try to catch up.

Quote :

"Can a big plane keep flying if an engine goes out or does it drop like a rock"

Yes. The main thing to remember with aircraft is that the wings are the things keeping the aircraft in the sky. While thrust increases airspeed, which consequently increases lift, the wings are capable of producing enough lift to glide the aircraft down. Your question has many variables which determine whether the ultimate landing will be safe. Mainly the altitude in which power is lost.

Let me also say that the loss of one engine is not a big deal in most cases. It is probably the emergency we are most trained in, and by federal regulations, all air transport aircraft have stringent criteria to which they must be able to perform under this scenario. As you saw with the US Air flight that Sully brought down, the airplane flew fine after the loss of two engines, the only real problem was that their initial altitude was insufficient to reach an airport.

Quote :

"what percentage of time is the pilot actually actively engaged in controlling the plane vs. the plane flying itself on autopilot?"

Modern technology has caused the autopilot to become an increasingly dependable feature. To answer your question, it is often from seconds after take off all the way to seconds before touchdown. Keep in mind that the autopilot is a computer and it does what you tell it to do. Most people believe the autopilot is doing all the work, when really the pilot is telling the autopilot what to do. I can get into more of what functions an autopilot has if you really want to know, but to answer your question, the autopilot is on a majority of the time to both facilitate our jobs and increase safety.

Quote :

"do you have personal bathrooms?"

Nope. We have to use the same ones you do.

Quote :

"why is it so cold?"

To be completely honest, while you're asking that question there's a guy 10 seats behind you complaining that he hasn't sweat so much since 'Nam.

Quote :

"^ that reminds me about this episode of CSI (or one of those shows)...the crew had like a secret room above the cockpit where they were supposed to be able to go and "relax". Do any planes really have those?"

I believe the 747 and possibly some other larger aircraft have a room similar to this, though I don't believe it's "above" the cockpit.

5/4/2009 8:28:58 PM

Quote :

"oh yeah, do the flight attendants, you know..."

I should have answered this one before it was asked.

I had a girlfriend from the time I started with the airlines until we called it off last week. I have heard many interesting stories, but am not in a position to comment. I'll let you know if that changes soon.

I can say I've heard it's not worth the potential mess. They are our co-workers.

Quote :

"do you have to eat the same crap the passengers eat?"

Yes. I think the first class breakfast is pretty good though, so I can't really complain. Then again I'm pretty grateful to get a flight long enough to eat something.

Quote :

"whats the best way to get a gun on the plane?"

Legally by claiming the firearm and properly checking it as per TSA regulations.

Quote :

"Do you have a bachelor's degree? If so, in aeronautics? Where did you receive your flight training? Have you ever heard of the National Pilot Academy or ATP, are they legitimate routes to becoming an airline pilot? aaaaannnnnnddddd finally, how many stewardesses have you banged? EDIT: I'm assuming you really do get free flights, but can you get them for your family and friends? Do you get to fly first class with your free flights; your family and friends? "

Yes, from NCSU. No, it's not in aeronautics and I would almost go as far to say that the airlines do not even necessarily prefer an aeronautical science degree. Haven't heard of the first, but I do know quite a bit about the second. It sort of sounds like you might be interested in this field. Might wanna PM me so I can set you straight.

aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnndddddd finally,
0.
Well unless you count my ex, but she wasn't a flight attendant at the time.

EDIT:
The short answer is that I can fly on almost airline to any location for free (excluding some international fees). Anyone in my immediate family (if i had a wife and kids) could fly for free. My parents can fly for free. I get a limited amount of 'buddy passes' a year for friends and such.

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 8:46 PM. Reason : update]

5/4/2009 8:35:23 PM

I have yet to see a flight attendant that wasn't a middle aged, chubby to over weight unattractive woman or gay man.

5/4/2009 8:42:03 PM

i want this guy flying my planes

5/4/2009 8:42:29 PM

^^you need to fly more.

5/4/2009 8:48:32 PM

what model/size plane do you like to fly the most? the easiest? the hardest?

5/4/2009 8:49:57 PM

Quote :

"have you used one of those 3D HSI's yet that you can get on the newer avionics packages?"

Nope, I think I know what you're referring to though. Haven't seen them on transport aircraft at all yet. Unless you're referring to a HUD.

Quote :

"i want this guy flying my planes"

Haha thanks, I guess, but my bet is that most of the pilots flying the aircraft you've been on have more experience than me. I'm still a relative newb. They're just not as articulate.

Quote :

"what model/size plane do you like to fly the most? the easiest? the hardest?"

Usually the larger they are, the more systems and limitations you have to know so I would say that inherently smaller aircraft are "easier" to fly, as well as they are generally more forgiving. Of course they all have their pluses. As far as like to fly, that depends. At the airlines, although I'm flying a rocket with wings, I'm flying from point A to point B. And you don't notice speed as speed, it's more like less time to react hahaha. With that said, I'd still love to take a Cessna and do spins over the coast and buzz boaters on the lake anyday.

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 9:02 PM. Reason : more]

5/4/2009 8:53:30 PM

nah, HSI

5/4/2009 8:54:51 PM

Quote :

"that reminds me about this episode of CSI (or one of those shows)...the crew had like a secret room above the cockpit where they were supposed to be able to go and "relax". Do any planes really have those?"

on the really large planes that do long flights where the pilots have to rotate. here's a column that talks about pilot fatigue
http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2009/04/17/askthepilot317/index.html

here is a bunk on some 767s


here are some specialized business class seats on a 767 used for crew


here's the crew quarters on the new 777-LR



This column covers a lot of basic pilot questions
http://dir.salon.com/topics/ask_the_pilot/

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 9:05 PM. Reason : .]

5/4/2009 9:04:00 PM

Quote :

"nah, HSI"

I guess you're talking about synthetic vision technology or something similar. Where the PFD shows you things like terrain in addition to the elements of a normal HSI. But, nope haven't had the pleasure of tinkering with that stuff yet. Looks pretty amazing.

^

Yeah, like I said, I know larger aircraft like the 747 have them (due to crew rest requirements and the fact that those guys live and work like kings).

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 9:11 PM. Reason : mawr]

5/4/2009 9:08:30 PM

what was the scariest moment you've ever had while piloting?

what was the stupidest mistake you ever made while piloting that turned out to be ok, but it was damn close

who was the most interesting passenger you ever met while piloting?

what is the craziest thing you ever saw someone carry on the plane?

has a passenger ever died on the plane while you were piloting?

5/4/2009 9:20:22 PM

Quote :

"what was the scariest moment you've ever had while piloting? what was the stupidest mistake you ever made while piloting that turned out to be ok, but it was damn close who was the most interesting passenger you ever met while piloting? what is the craziest thing you ever saw someone carry on the plane? has a passenger ever died on the plane while you were piloting?"

Hmmm, I'm sure I've had a lot of little 'oh shit' moments, but nothing that ever materialized to grave danger. To answer questions one and two, some that come to mind:

Flying through a few thunderstorms in a general aviation aircraft will shake you up. One that included reported winds of 53 knots and a tornado warning when I was a student pilot with my instructor was easily the worst. Lets put it this way, the aircraft I was flying at the time rotates at 55 knots.

Once I thought we had a landing gear failure when I was instructing. It happened to be something stupid that the student did, and there was ultimately no problem. But it makes you say to yourself, "Oh great, I get to deal with this."

At the airlines there was only one incident where I was like whoa. It was a gusty crosswind and I wasn't even flying at the time, the captain was. This one wasn't too bad, we could have aborted the landing at any time, but ultimately control and safety were never compromised. However, the captain's first words after we taxied of the runway was "I don't get paid enough for this shit."

Hmm, I can't think of an interesting passenger off the top of my head, but my buddy did fly Fitty Cent last week. I thought that was pretty funny.

This one dude brought a cello on board. Felt bad for him because they make you pay for an extra seat for it, but I would never check an instrument that costs as much as a car. I'm sure there have been some animals, but I've never seen anything crazy. I heard there is a certain type of horse or something that's allowed to accompany passengers with certain anxiety problems, but I've yet to see it.

Nope, but I've flown with some captains that have said it happens all the time.

5/4/2009 9:42:47 PM

Quote :

"ANTI ANXIETY NAG"

5/4/2009 9:45:01 PM

surely you cant be serious

5/4/2009 9:54:27 PM

http://www.guidehorse.org/news_minis_fly.htm

Yes. These things are actually allowed on board.

I am. And don't call me Shirley.

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 9:55 PM. Reason : was that from Airplane or one of the Naked Guns?]

5/4/2009 9:54:39 PM

pm sent

5/4/2009 9:56:44 PM

PM returned.

I should probably go to bed soon. Gotta do a St Louis turn and go to some place in Michigan that nobody's ever heard of. Hope I don't catch the swine flu.

5/4/2009 10:31:33 PM

Quote :

"^^you need to fly more."

I fly all the time. And if I'm flying any US based airline I am guaranteed to have some unattractive middle aged woman as the stewardess.

5/4/2009 10:31:35 PM

there is (well was) a user here who was a flight attendant and was pretty hot

5/4/2009 10:32:25 PM

are you a member of the mile-high club?

have any interesting mile-high stories...from crew members or passengers being busted?

ever heard of any drug smuggling going on? (yes i watch too many movies)

how often are there federal agents on flights?

do you have any self defense weapons in the cockpit?

how much do you earn when you start flying with the airlines? do ex-military types earn more? whats the average stewardess earn?

are your bags checked when you go through security?

how many times have you got laid just because you are a pilot?

5/4/2009 10:32:48 PM

Quote :

"And if I'm flying any US based airline I am guaranteed to have some unattractive middle aged woman as the stewardess."

Is there like an ignorant quotes thread around here somewhere. I don't want to mess up the captain's thread by responding to this.

5/4/2009 10:33:15 PM

what type of plane do you fly?
can you feel the difference in a fly by wire plane vs. the traditional cable
what age is too old to seriously consider a career as a commercial airline pilot
why do I have such a hard time doing power on stalls
have you ever had to execute a missed approach with pax on board?
ever have to do a go around due to something on the runway
Do you ever read the blog by the usair pilot called flightlevel 390
How do you feel about the new class of GA, light sport?

I probably have about 100 questions I could ask...

5/4/2009 10:36:55 PM

Quote :

"I probably have about 100 questions I could ask..."

how about making them interesting for us non pilots. thx

5/4/2009 10:38:09 PM

Quote :

"are you a member of the mile-high club? have any interesting mile-high stories...from crew members or passengers being busted? ever heard of any drug smuggling going on? (yes i watch too many movies) how often are there federal agents on flights? do you have any self defense weapons in the cockpit? how much do you earn when you start flying with the airlines? do ex-military types earn more? whats the average stewardess earn? are your bags checked when you go through security? how many times have you got laid just because you are a pilot?"

Sadly, nope. Wait. Maybe not sadly, cause the person sitting next to me is usually a dude.

Nope. Most of the stories about charades involving crew members happens away from the aircraft. Haven't heard of anyone being busted yet, but then again, I'm a relative n00b.

I know nothing of drug smuggling. Seriously. hahah.

It's actually "security sensitive info" sorry. Wow that sounded bad ass.

Again, not supposed to talk about stuff like that.

I am currently extremely underpaid. Please write to somebody to help us get paid more when we start out. Military types tend to skip the regional airlines and go straight to mainline where the pay is better. This is a seniority driven industry. The longer you've been with the company, the more you make period. Flight attendants are paid even worse.

Yes our bags are x-rayed when going through security.

Not enough, my friend. Not enough.

5/4/2009 10:46:50 PM

Quote :

"what type of plane do you fly? can you feel the difference in a fly by wire plane vs. the traditional cable what age is too old to seriously consider a career as a commercial airline pilot why do I have such a hard time doing power on stalls have you ever had to execute a missed approach with pax on board? ever have to do a go around due to something on the runway Do you ever read the blog by the usair pilot called flightlevel 390 How do you feel about the new class of GA, light sport?"

Sweet a pilot. I always wondered how many were on here. I know TheDuke is one, but he's military and way more bad ass than I am . I'll dumb-down some of my answers for others who might care to hear the answer but, wouldn't understand some of the stuff you probably would.

I fly a CRJ-900. It's a 76 seat regional jet. It's one of the smaller ones that you people hate to fly on because there's not enough leg room. I hate sitting in the back of it too, but the front is pretty comfy.

Yes, however, the plane I fly doesn't use fly-by-wire for all control surfaces. But, yeah, there's definitely a smoother feel than that of an aircraft with cable-pulley controls.

I love this question. Before my current job I had a job lined up last may with another airline. I got the job, though they canceled all classes. Anyway, there was a guy in my interview class who was 60 years old. He was a retired surgeon who was just looking to do his dream job for a few years. He bought his own Cessna 310 after retirement just to build time. The guy only had five years left on his professional flying career, assuming he could continue to pass a first class medical. So to answer your question: Never.

LOOK OUTSIDE! It's a visual maneuver! That attitude indicator is worthless! Hahah. Pick a reference and use that to keep your aircraft aligned on its vertical axis. Remember, rudder input is key. Don't worry so much about your ailerons, they aren't doing anything at the point of the stall.

Nope, not yet at the airlines. Though it is pretty common especially at places like O'Hare and Midway, where we fly into a lot.

Yes, but again not at the airlines. I can't remember if this was during my private multiengine check ride, or before it. There were these two dogs that ran right across the runway as we were about 20 feet from the touch down zone. Cram climb clean

Nope, can't say that I've ever seen it. I read airline pilot forums, but that site usually makes me depressed, so I don't read it that much hahaha.

Now that I'm flying for the airlines my focus has sort of shift from AOPA issues to ALPA issues, though don't get me wrong I'm an avid supporter of GA and wouldn't be here without it. On a semi-related note, I actually instructed the current president of AOPA and got him his PMEL, no joke. But anyway, I'm guessing you're referring to issues related to medicals and such? I think any flying is good flying, as long as it's safe. I don't necessarily think that light-sport poses much risk to anyone but the pilot of the aircraft. Then again, I don't have any statistics in hand.

5/4/2009 11:13:44 PM

Yay I'm a pilot too. Although I just got my license a few weeks ago. And I'm only rated for single engine land airplanes. And the only type I have actually flown have been Cessna 172s. I DID have to do a go around a few weeks ago due to a coyote that ran across the runway though!

5/4/2009 11:22:37 PM

Whats the worst you have fucked up.

and whats the deal with turbulance, i assume that you guys just say all that shit so that people don't get all up in air thinking our sand brothers are waging a war in the cockpit, or do you actually have to like turn off the autopilot and glide through those air pockets.

5/4/2009 11:28:02 PM

How much do you make?

5/4/2009 11:37:13 PM

^^^Awesome. Congrats. Yeah, the last few feet are always the most important.

Quote :

"Whats the worst you have fucked up. and whats the deal with turbulance, i assume that you guys just say all that shit so that people don't get all up in air thinking our sand brothers are waging a war in the cockpit, or do you actually have to like turn off the autopilot and glide through those air pockets."

Like I said, nothing major/interesting comes to mind. Maybe that's why I'm still alive. If I think of anything juicy and not too self-deprecating I'll let you know.

Haha wat? Umm, for the light stuff the autopilot stays on, for the bad stuff we sometimes have to hand fly. We're generally pretty honest about turbulence and do our best to get out of it. Sometimes it's not possible to do such.

^In lieu of putting my W-2 on the internet, I'll just say its not a lot and that you can find the general information online. Again, this is a seniority based industry that does pay off when/if you reach the top.

The second post on this thread spells out the broad spectrum of salaries from the bottom to the top:

http://www.flightlevel350.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=3227

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 11:49 PM. Reason : mawr]

5/4/2009 11:38:58 PM