While standing amongst your co-workers, address the subject of your domination attempt directly. Make and maintain eye contact. Fart without a hint of shame or restraint. Don't blink, don't smile, don't giggle. And do not be the first to break the silence.

6/15/2009 5:01:37 PM

I figured a fart joke would be beneath Froshkiller, even an eloquent one.

6/15/2009 5:03:37 PM

There's no joke here. I'm serious as a pregnancy scare.

[Edited on June 15, 2009 at 5:04 PM. Reason : More apt simile.]

6/15/2009 5:04:07 PM

A pregnancy scare can be kind of funny, though, if you find the right girl.

6/15/2009 5:05:02 PM

wtf are you talking about?

6/15/2009 5:06:46 PM

Drop kick the bitch before her second trimester

6/15/2009 5:09:10 PM

i'm going to do this tomorrow

will this technique still have the same efficacy if the subject has weak to nonexistent olfactory sensors?

[Edited on June 15, 2009 at 6:51 PM. Reason : also, what's the protocol if you shit yourself on accident during this ritual?]

6/15/2009 6:48:42 PM

next

6/15/2009 6:49:18 PM

I am such a complete wuss. Often I'll get lost in my work, and forget where I am, promptly escaping gas to relieve myself. I'm quickly reminded of my workplace environment when I notice the noxious smell quickly beginning to surround me. I then remember those uncomfortable situations in the past when I've farted, and minutes later a coworker walks into my office to chat....

The time that comes to mind right now happened about a year ago. I farted in the comfort of my office and then a coworker, Jesse, walked in to discuss something. I kept carrying on the discussion, all the while thinking to myself "Muh'fucka....I KNOW you smell that shit. I KNOW it. Just LEAVE! "

So now when I do fart in the office, I usually leave and take a walk around the facility for about 15 minutes to give the room time to clear out. I don't really know what I'm thinking... Perhaps if someone comes into my office and I'm not there, they'll think that someone besides me did it? Or maybe they'll just think that they farted? All I know is that the embarrassment isn't there if I'm not around to point the finger at.

I'm not proud of this, but I thought I would be honest with you all.

6/15/2009 6:59:57 PM

When farts are outlawed, only outlaws will have farts.

6/15/2009 7:03:45 PM

i solve this problem by farting in other peoples offices, the pulp mill planner called me out on it the other day, he saw me walkin across the shop to his office, then turn around and go back, he promptly called me and said "Slipped out on the way didn't it?"

6/15/2009 7:04:37 PM

lol emce

6/15/2009 10:01:56 PM

^^^^haha, on my last co-op term i shared an office I had the same feelings. i would fart when the coast was clear, and then either a coworker or my office mate would come in and I'd be all :carlface:

6/15/2009 10:06:00 PM

I'm always proud of myself when I successfully suppress a fart, but I'm really just slowing the release process, leaving a gingerbread trail of stank in my midst

6/15/2009 10:15:37 PM

crop dust the entire lab

[Edited on June 15, 2009 at 10:28 PM. Reason : firefly vodka]

6/15/2009 10:26:39 PM