**EUPHALO!! Newsletter No. 1!!**



THIS IS >12AM TERRITORY FOO

ITS EUPHALO NEWSLETTER TIME!



OH WE BACK

PRAISE MILEY!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to the first OFFICIAL EUPHALO weekly newsletter, on this Monday of our Lord and Saviour Crispus Attucks, the 29th of June, 2009. This is not to be confused with the original EUPHALO newsletter, which really was just sent intermittently, and was rather short-lived. Hopefully, that will not be the case with this one, however. I am going to try to get this out each week sometime between Sunday-Wednesday.

My aim is to let everyone know what's going on in EUPHALO-related activity on our finely established message board, The Wolf Web, but mostly to just have a good time! Hopefully you will all at least have a laugh or two; if nothing else, you can laugh at the self-generating humor of all the tuff guys on TWW in the various threads listed in this newsletter (or should I say ITNL)

I just want everyone to know that Miley is my inspiration for this newsletter. Without her, my existence would not be possible. How, you ask? I'm not really sure, but I'll eventually find the answer while I am anonymously beating chest. Also padding - padding has been my inspiration since around 2004, when I started becoming active on TWW (praise Crispus)

So let's get this shit started, shall we? We are kickin' it off this week with the current TWW trend of the week.


TWW Trend of the Week

yep, you guessed it, fucking orange soda the R.I.P. (insert celebrity here) threads

if you've missed this trend somehow, the gist of it is that the celebrity's name is stated in the thread (e.g. R.I.P. Bill Murray), and in the first post in the thread, a picture of a different celebrity is inserted. The funniest part of that, to me, is the inevitable user that has no idea what's going on and says something along the lines of "That's not Bill Murray." And of course, they always say it seriously, and with a conviction that just makes a nigga LOL.

Of course, this week has been an anomaly, and the fake R.I.P. threads have been eclipsed by celebrities actually dying (see: Michael Jackson) - but lulz ensue in those threads as well.

Here are a few good ones (which may or may not have been locked/deleted by gunzz by the time you read this)

a classic by amac: message_topic.aspx?topic=562190 (thanks to walls for citing this one, I just read through it and LOLed hard)
Fail Boat getting pissed ITT: message_topic.aspx?topic=568377
BigHitSunday 10/10: message_topic.aspx?topic=569688
another by amac: message_topic.aspx?topic=568975 (not a particularly funny thread, but the pic made me lose it for some reason)

so, in summation:

Quote :

"I don't get it. And you know that the picture is of Sting, judging by the path for the picture."

TWW Tuff User of the Week!

The beauty about TWW is that, the funny never stops - you just have to look for it. Everyone be sure to keep an eye out for TUFF users, on whatever section you might be browsing on TWW. Also, be sure to report it to me, just in case I didn't notice this particular user being tuff.

It was hard to pick, and it might seem like a bit of a copout, but this week, the award goes to the one and only Fail Boat!! Congratulations, faggot!


TWW SO TUFF Quotes of the Week!

Just as a note, the quotes don't have to have been said within the past week; they can be from anytime/anywhere. If you have any quotes that you feel should make the cut, just PM them to me before the next newsletter and they will be screened for humor or interest, and most likely added!

And by the way, be sure to post them here if you see them - bonus points for linking to the thread it came from: message_topic.aspx?topic=566262

So, without further ado..

Quote :

"I think this EUPHALO shit is getting out of hand again."

-theDuke866
message_topic.aspx?topic=569927&page=1#13032194

Quote :

"ahahahha let that soft batch motherfucker rot"

-kiljadn
message_topic.aspx?topic=569932

(god damn I love it when black people get pissed at the n word, I'm sorry - it's always hilarious. By the way, I'm not sure how being suspended from TWW means that someone is going to rot, but whatever..)

Quote :

"Boo fucking who. Pretty white kids with problems. Its called being an adult. If you don;t like something about your life, get off your TWW posting ass and do something about it."

-GGMon
message_topic.aspx?topic=569942&page=1#13032396

Quote :

"funny how the link to that picture comes from the National Weather Service Website for NWS Salt Lake City http://www.wrh.noaa.gov/slc/index.php"

-spoken by Jesus Christ himself

Quote :

"Consider yourself officially called out you faggot you think you're tough? Then come say the shit you said about me and my friends on TWW to our faces Can't wait to see your bitch ass crying when you get taken out"

-Socrates, from The Art of Being Tough



Threads Not to Miss for the Week

NOTE: I was going to include the name of the threads, but thought it would be funnier this way

message_topic.aspx?topic=567790 LOLS ITT
message_topic.aspx?topic=569538 so many tuff guys ITT
message_topic.aspx?topic=569903 haha, cool
message_topic.aspx?topic=556015 always good for entertainment, imho
message_topic.aspx?topic=548628 about as EUPHALO-esque as it gets

sorry, I'd provide more, but I did this section in kind of a hurry, and wasn't seeing anything else good


EUPHALO Image of the Week

We can vote on this (or something similar) in the future if you want




BubbleBobble's Hot Chick Image of the Week!

Sorry if you don't think she's hot, but she gave me an instant boner.



if that doesn't work: http://www.imagefap.com/image.php?id=1638414916


EUPHALO Quote/Post(s) from the Past

In this section, we revisit snippets of funny from the original and vol. 2 EUPHALO threads!

Quote :

"n00b ?.... whats bwn and gg"

-DappaDan, page 16, 3/29/2005 2:25:04 AM

Quote :

"can you mend this bleeding heart of mine?"

-OneNighter86, page 140, 9/6/2006 12:51:46 AM

(it just made me laugh that he said that in EUPHALO)

Quote :

"I farted and it smells. Just thought I'd share that."

-stategirl05, page 38, 4/11/2005 5:44:46 PM

(CONT'D BELOW)

6/29/2009 10:38:18 PM

Haha, sweet.

6/29/2009 10:41:40 PM

Reverse Online Translations of the Week


Original (by gunzz):

Quote :

"making more michael jackson threads without his name in the title will still get you suspended i've already got one and i have my eye on a few more so again, keep it up! this is the last public warning i will give and you people need to stop pressing your luck"

Translated in Reverse (several times):

Quote :

"Realization of a lot of Jackson Michael whom sons without its name in the name will always force you to discharge temporarily I have already arrived one, and I have my eye on some a part from more so once again, I continue it! She is last public speaking to me, will give also to you, people should stop to press on your chance"

Original (by Willy Nilly):

Quote :

"Am I to understand that many of you "pad" simply to increase your post count? Do you not realize how incredibly lame that is? Do you not have anything better to do? Go read a book. Go for a walk. Go pick weeds in your garden. Go play frisbee with friends. I mean, shit... What the fuck, people?"

Translated in Reverse:

Quote :

"Must I understand that many of you go for a walk " to steps felt " to increase simply his counting postcard? Do not they carry out it is? Do not they have anything better to do? A book goes for the bed. Do a walk. Go they choose rough weapon in his garden. The flying disc of the game goes with the friends. I, he wants to say the shit... What the fact of the kiss, the people?"

LOL!!


Best Up and Coming Poster: inSTAALed

What can I say? This guy has really shined in the EUPHALO thread, and he hasn't even been on here a week. Kudos to you, amigo. Please don't stop posting!


**OFFICIAL EUPHALO Lineup!**

I know for a fact that I've forgotten many people, but these are the most active these days


The King of EUPHALO

ReceiveDeath AKA BubbleBobble sons!!

The Queen(s) of EUPHALO

Miley Cyrus, evan

Current Board of Directors (cannot exceed 10 members at any given time)

BubbleBobble, teh_toch, Money_Jones, hypaone, evan, BIGcementpon, wawebste, aaronburro, catalyst, Spontaneous

EUPHALO Power Posters

Ashes, tromboner950, wdprice3, inSTAALed, cynosural, bowser, nael

EUPHALO Hall of Fame (goodnight, sweet princes...)

ReceiveDeath, amac884, JTMONEYNCSU, fjjackso, JEWS, NIGGERS, Airbag, O RLY, gunsupbrah, FailMcAIDS, Walls1441 (and all subsequent Big Business aliases), slingblade (until he returns)

EUPHALO Hall of Shame (What a shameful user..)

BigEgo

you don't fucking "retire" from padding - not to mention that EUPHALO is not 100% about padding

Complete List of EUPHALO (Vol. 3) Members

Little do many of these people know it, but they are part of team EUPHALO.

CLICK HERE for the list of all current EUPHALO members (by this I mean you are automatically a part of team EUPHALO if you have posted in the EUPHALO thread)


Tentative Ideas for Future Newsletters

I couldn't include everything in this newsletter, I'm not a ma-- wait a minute, I am a machine, but I still couldn't do it. Or could I??? Anyway, some ideas for future newsletters:

EUPHALO Stats for the Month

top 10 most active posters for the month

these are just some ideas, which may not be possible without the help of qntmfred - are any of you so technologically inclined that you could generate some statistics for EUPHALO? R U A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO SAVE THE PRESIDENT GENERATE EUPHALO STATS???

In this section, anonymous fools beat chest

(insert pictures of anonymous fools here, LOL!)

yea I got nothing for this right now - or do I?? either way feel free to beat chest here

EUPHALO Superlatives

things like best poster of the week, of the month, umm yeah and other stuff - I might do this in the future, or just in certain newsletters when I feel someone is particularly deserving of one

OFFICIAL EUPHALO Links!

I'm in a hurry to get this done so I'll compile them for next time - links to EUPHALO-related official threads



And so, that sums up the first weekly EUPHALO Newsletter! I know it wasn't my best work (one might even say sucky), but I wanted to get it done before I went to sleep, and I'm on vacation and have already wasted about 5-6 hours on this LOL! I'm also considering doing it bi-weekly, but will try my best to make it weekly (which would be easier with your help!) If you are interested in helping me out with the newsletter, let me know. Of course, I am the OFFICIAL editor, so if I don't like your changes, then they won't be reflected on the subsequent newsletter LOL! God damn I'm tuff - SO tuff.


EUPHALO Quote to Live By

Quote :

"John let me make a suggestion. Focus on one thread. Go for it. Don't spread your energies on several, it's not working for you."

-DaphneGrey, page 23 of the original EUPHALO thread (RIP )


The **OFFICIAL** EUPHALO Mascot!



PRAISE EPIC CAT. PRAISE HIM!

6/29/2009 10:52:00 PM

sorry for any typos

I read through once and didn't catch any

6/29/2009 10:53:01 PM

very well done, indeed

6/29/2009 11:03:04 PM

Holy shi'ite, BubbleBobble, what an awesome fucking newsletter!

6/29/2009 11:03:47 PM

epic

6/29/2009 11:09:57 PM

haha

I wasn't expecting anyone to really find it funny

thx guise

here's to many more newsletters

6/29/2009 11:10:11 PM

only 18 recipients so far

oh well, at least they are EPIC recipients

6/29/2009 11:13:56 PM

Look at that, I cut that shit in half up there.

Further proof that a .pdf is necessary.

6/29/2009 11:36:23 PM

well for some gay reason it exceeded the maximum characters of a single post

6/29/2009 11:38:02 PM

Sure, blame the character limit.

6/29/2009 11:39:19 PM

I will limit your fucking existence

6/29/2009 11:49:27 PM

future tuff quotes ITT

6/29/2009 11:53:09 PM

<--- tough as nails son

6/29/2009 11:54:48 PM

I would be honored.

6/29/2009 11:56:01 PM

^but you're not tuff enuff

6/29/2009 11:57:35 PM

One of these days, wawebste.

One of these days.

6/30/2009 12:04:26 AM

your post count has to be at least 19624 for you to be considered SO TUFF

6/30/2009 12:05:08 AM

why did my imagefap link break?

wtf

I want a site that hosts nude images (other than TWW) that'll actually fucking show up

6/30/2009 12:08:52 AM

Just use imgur.com.

6/30/2009 12:11:18 AM

A+++++ 10/10 NEWSLETTER PRETTY MUCH SUMS UP EPIC POSTING WILL READY AGAIN

6/30/2009 12:14:04 AM

Quote :

"WILL READY AGAIN"

6/30/2009 12:23:27 AM

LOL IM THAT PUMPED

6/30/2009 12:24:52 AM

haha

I was pretty pumped to finally send it out

6/30/2009 12:26:12 AM

a lack of picks was evident

^it was very good, lols were had

[Edited on June 30, 2009 at 12:27 AM. Reason : .]

6/30/2009 12:26:36 AM

yeah I'll try to include more pics next time

6/30/2009 12:27:08 AM

Needed more .gifs.

6/30/2009 12:35:57 AM

6/30/2009 12:36:59 AM

.pdf will help with that. Anything more and the PM system would have exploded, probably.

6/30/2009 12:37:34 AM

LOL!

6/30/2009 12:38:58 AM

6/30/2009 12:39:28 AM

I just read the newsletter. I like your ideas, and I'm glad to have been subscribed.

I don't know how I missed the FREE KITTEN thread from Classifieds, but that's pretty damn funny. Excellent work, sir BubbleBobble.

6/30/2009 12:41:32 AM

6/30/2009 12:42:31 AM

Quote :

"MOBY DICK STICK"

6/30/2009 12:42:34 AM

ANYWAY YOU WANT IT
THAT'S THE WAY U NEED IT
ANYWAY YOU WANT IT!

6/30/2009 12:45:53 AM

also j_sun should be added to the POWER POSTERS list

just haven't seen him post in a while

that doesn't mean he hasn't posted

I just didn't see it

6/30/2009 12:49:10 AM

What causes one to be a "power poster?"

Is it just a poster by poster decision or is there a strict set of unwritten guidelines?

6/30/2009 1:37:17 AM

it means I am going to put you on my wall and throw darts at you

6/30/2009 1:37:54 AM

Sweet, but that isn't really what I asked.

6/30/2009 1:42:25 AM

or is it???

6/30/2009 1:43:23 AM

No.. not really..

6/30/2009 1:44:14 AM

I was 100% sure you were going to have a variant of "no" as your response

6/30/2009 1:44:48 AM

It's my gimmick.

Well, that and being an overall horrible poster.

6/30/2009 1:46:17 AM

omg 311 Posts

6/30/2009 1:47:08 AM

No longer.

6/30/2009 1:47:32 AM

lol i own that hall of shame

6/30/2009 2:35:13 AM

Quote :

"A+++++ 10/10 NEWSLETTER PRETTY MUCH SUMS UP EPIC POSTING WILL READY AGAIN"

6/30/2009 4:44:08 AM

Quote :

"WUSSY CHARACTER LIMIT"

6/30/2009 7:50:14 AM

I don't really hate you or anything bigego I was jk

but someone has to be in the hall of shame

6/30/2009 12:37:56 PM