FroshKiller All American 51908 Posts user info edit post |
I'll be adding to this thread continually and calling out specific examples as I see them, but for now, here are a few to get you started. I'll even include suggestions for methods of suicide appropriate to each.
Offending language: shite, a primarily British corruption of "shit" Why it offends: Your ass ain't British. How you should die: Park your auto on the railroad tracks, stuff yourself into the boot, and pray for Amtrak.
Offending language: ...and call it good, the content-free cap to a dumb suggestion Why it offends: You use this, perhaps unconsciously, to pad your dumb idea and give it persuasive cadence. How you should die: Jump in a lake, take a deep breath, and call it drowning.
Offending language: bougie, a slang term used by haters to describe anyone who aspires above his station Why it offends: Your gross simplification of the concept of the bourgeoisie aside, there is nothing wrong with personal advancement. How you should die: An extreme makeover courtesy of Madame Guillotine.
Offending language: seldomly, an over-correction of "seldom" Why it offends: "Seldom" is a perfectly good adverb that does its job well enough without your dumb ass second-guessing it. How you should die: Titration of bowling balls to a fatal concentration in your brain pan.
Offending language: I could care less, a malformed display of apathy Why it offends: As if your affectation of not caring about the subject weren't offensive enough, your grammar clumsily contradicts the sentiment. You mean you couldn't care less. How you should die: A dinner of Taco Bell's Volcano Box with Arm & Hammer for dessert.
Offending language: I'm sorry, but..., a thoughtless prelude to a thoughtless opinion Why it offends: You're making a lame attempt to disarm your audience of their justifiable contempt for whatever the hell stupid thing you're going to say. How you should die: Introduce an engine block on a pendulum to your fucking molars. 7/8/2009 10:42:22 AM |
grimx #maketwwgreatagain 32337 Posts user info edit post |
Shite
I'm sorry, but I seldomly say I could care less.
[Edited on July 8, 2009 at 10:44 AM. Reason : and call it good] 7/8/2009 10:44:02 AM |
TreeTwista10 minisoldr 148251 Posts user info edit post |
you know what is right up there with shite? calling a car an auto 7/8/2009 10:44:22 AM |
Apocalypse All American 17555 Posts user info edit post |
Did Sonic fire you? 7/8/2009 10:44:29 AM |
FroshKiller All American 51908 Posts user info edit post |
looks like someone didn't get the joke there 7/8/2009 10:44:40 AM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
i seldomly say that shite either 7/8/2009 10:45:03 AM |
SaabTurbo All American 25459 Posts user info edit post |
It's not shite son, IT'S FUCKING SHYTE SON.
LEARN TO GOD DAMNED SPELL SON.
FUCKING SHYTE SON.
GAH! 7/8/2009 10:46:17 AM |
CleverFilth All American 845 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "You use this, perhaps unconsciously, to pad your dumb idea and give it persuasive cadence." |
hahaha
i say "ya shite" sometimes when a defender strips the ball from me in a soccer game. mostly to pay tribute to english soccer gods, also to get a laugh.7/8/2009 10:47:12 AM |
Slave Famous Become Wrath 34079 Posts user info edit post |
I say I'm pissed when I'm drunk
I think thats ok 7/8/2009 10:49:42 AM |
legatic All American 7481 Posts user info edit post |
this thread tries to hard, and smacks of cracked.com 7/8/2009 10:49:54 AM |
FroshKiller All American 51908 Posts user info edit post |
pretty sure the thread is operating within normal limits
[Edited on July 8, 2009 at 10:50 AM. Reason : i'm sure qntmfred can run a diagnostic] 7/8/2009 10:50:26 AM |
Republican18 All American 16575 Posts user info edit post |
Quality thread Frosh, will read again. Also, I think "per say" should be added to the list 7/8/2009 10:50:30 AM |
Stimwalt All American 15292 Posts user info edit post |
I'm sorry, but I could care less about this shite. Call it good luck, but seldomly does a thread like this effectively make the bougies come out of the woodwork. 7/8/2009 10:53:15 AM |
CeilingCat All American 1222 Posts user info edit post |
lame-o business speak:
synergy
touch base
wear many hats
shoot me an email
[Edited on July 8, 2009 at 10:55 AM. Reason : d] 7/8/2009 10:54:48 AM |
Kodiak All American 7067 Posts user info edit post |
7/8/2009 10:57:03 AM |
CleverFilth All American 845 Posts user info edit post |
During a morning meeting a couple weeks ago one of the maintenance guys said:
"i reckon' we can do them jobs when we come in to work thursdy."
in my mind:
why would we come into work thirsty and what job can only be done when i desire a beverage?
this story is pretty irrevelent but i needed to tell someone about it. 7/8/2009 11:00:22 AM |
pilgrimshoes Suspended 63151 Posts user info edit post |
i couldnt give a shit 7/8/2009 11:01:08 AM |
supercat329 All American 8453 Posts user info edit post |
"as per"
i know it's grammatically correct, but it sounds too awkward and redundant to me. i much prefer to just say "per". 7/8/2009 11:01:17 AM |
Ernie All American 45943 Posts user info edit post |
I worked with a guy who used "crunked" as the past-tense of "crank".
e.g. "I crunked the truck"
He had like a third-grade education, though, so I let it slide. 7/8/2009 11:03:09 AM |
qntmfred retired 40601 Posts user info edit post |
vb.net 7/8/2009 11:04:31 AM |
kiljadn All American 44689 Posts user info edit post |
I use "crunked" as a present tense version of "fucked" or "jacked"
IE:
"That shit is crunked up" 7/8/2009 11:04:48 AM |
LaserSoup All American 5502 Posts user info edit post |
The Internets is a great place to complain.
With that said let me add:
"A whole nother" 7/8/2009 11:05:05 AM |
Lumex All American 3666 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Offending language: I could care less, a malformed display of apathy" |
Yes, very ignorant.
But just as often I hear people use it correctly; to indicate a level of caring greater than what is expected of them.7/8/2009 11:06:01 AM |
pilgrimshoes Suspended 63151 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "vb.net " |
7/8/2009 11:06:38 AM |
elkaybie All American 39626 Posts user info edit post |
I first read the title at "Luggage" and was about to defend my use of the kidney bean bag if it was in here 7/8/2009 11:14:24 AM |
SaabTurbo All American 25459 Posts user info edit post |
7/8/2009 11:16:07 AM |
supercat329 All American 8453 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | ""A whole nother"" |
yes, that is such a pet peeve!7/8/2009 11:21:05 AM |
ThePeter TWW CHAMPION 37709 Posts user info edit post |
Arabic? 7/8/2009 11:21:58 AM |
Willy Nilly Suspended 3562 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "calling a car an auto" | "auto" is a more general term, and therefore when used, it most often refers to all street vehicles, not just cars. In other words: a camry, a hummer, and an econoline are all autos, but only one is a car.7/8/2009 12:41:49 PM |
TreeTwista10 minisoldr 148251 Posts user info edit post |
yeah but it also sounds more british than "car" or "truck" 7/8/2009 12:43:07 PM |
CleverFilth All American 845 Posts user info edit post |
hahahaha7/8/2009 12:44:48 PM |
not dnl Suspended 13193 Posts user info edit post |
i like "whole nother level"
[Edited on July 8, 2009 at 12:46 PM. Reason : lol] 7/8/2009 12:45:34 PM |
dbmcknight All American 4030 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "why would we come into work thirsty and what job can only be done when i desire a beverage?" |
lol7/8/2009 12:46:24 PM |
gunzz IS NÚMERO UNO 68205 Posts user info edit post |
Someone post the Oh Shiite picture 7/8/2009 12:47:48 PM |
0EPII1 All American 42535 Posts user info edit post |
How about 'arse'? 7/8/2009 12:49:16 PM |
BubbleBobble :3 114243 Posts user info edit post |
7/8/2009 12:54:58 PM |
supercat329 All American 8453 Posts user info edit post |
using "done" before a past tense verb
"done did" is by far the worst combination e.g. I done did it already. 7/8/2009 12:55:12 PM |
BubbleBobble :3 114243 Posts user info edit post |
but we're in the south you stupid bitch 7/8/2009 1:02:11 PM |
TreeTwista10 minisoldr 148251 Posts user info edit post |
yeah, maybe try and respect our horrible grammar cultural vernacular] 7/8/2009 1:03:40 PM |
Kickstand All American 11545 Posts user info edit post |
We get it already. You were an english major.
I don't see engineers coming into chit-chat solving the Navier-Stokes equation or other complex mathematical alogorithms. 7/8/2009 1:11:46 PM |
FroshKiller All American 51908 Posts user info edit post |
Oh, there's my place! Silly me. 7/8/2009 1:16:38 PM |
Stimwalt All American 15292 Posts user info edit post |
That's because what Engineers do pays well and why do it for free on a messageboard? 7/8/2009 1:23:03 PM |
BigHitSunday Dick Danger 51059 Posts user info edit post |
not your best work frosh 7/8/2009 1:24:00 PM |
FroshKiller All American 51908 Posts user info edit post |
they can't all be ADIDAS HAT FOR SALE
[Edited on July 8, 2009 at 1:29 PM. Reason : also my most popular thread to date has been "more funny juxtapositions" so] 7/8/2009 1:27:25 PM |
BigMan157 no u 103353 Posts user info edit post |
your post shows an obvious prejudice against the underline tag
ಠ_ಠ 7/8/2009 1:29:26 PM |
ThePeter TWW CHAMPION 37709 Posts user info edit post |
i don't think anyone uses the underline tag 7/8/2009 1:34:59 PM |
FroshKiller All American 51908 Posts user info edit post |
NEVER UNDERLINE ON THE WEB
PEOPLE WILL THINK IT'S A HYPERLINK 7/8/2009 1:37:41 PM |
Slave Famous Become Wrath 34079 Posts user info edit post |
adidas hat for sale was awesome
don't bring me into this 7/8/2009 1:39:21 PM |
FroshKiller All American 51908 Posts user info edit post |
all i'm saying is that if all the work was my best, all my work would be average
i ain't play like that, my shit is tony starks half the time
unintelligible and better before i went solo 7/8/2009 1:40:36 PM |
pilgrimshoes Suspended 63151 Posts user info edit post |
sir, if you're referring to ghostface, it's toney stark or pretty toney, or starky love or ironman or tony starks or just starks 7/8/2009 1:44:21 PM |