haha I didn't even know they sold this shit commercially

My next month of dumps is gonna be incredible

As a matter of fact, I'm kinda upset that I don't have to take one right now

8/19/2009 6:03:23 PM

where might i get this 3 ply TP?

8/19/2009 6:04:35 PM

Somewhere, Sheryl Crow is crying.

8/19/2009 6:05:09 PM

On the shelf at HT, quilted northern, in a purple bag

I bought this, a rotissirie chicken and cake frosting, and the checkout girl mean mugged me

8/19/2009 6:05:36 PM

this is going to revolutionize jr. high / middle school pranks

8/19/2009 6:37:58 PM

Quote :

"I bought this, a rotissirie chicken and cake frosting, and the checkout girl mean mugged me"

Some combinations of purchases would be hard to keep a straight face with while ringing up if I were a cashier. Your combination is an interesting one.

8/19/2009 6:53:15 PM

K, just took my first dump and subsequent wipe

The verdict is in:





Absolute Fantastic

If you have the means, I highly reccommend it

8/19/2009 7:48:49 PM

dear everyone who is infatuated with taking 2 hour dumps and all the toilet paper choices out there,

it's 2009..... time to come out of the bathroom and just admit that you're into assplay.

8/19/2009 7:50:41 PM

Sorry Mr. Jackleg,

Have fun with your raw ass

8/19/2009 7:51:58 PM

hey don't turn it around on me. my ass never stays exposed long or gets enough physical contact to catch the raw

some guys just love the way it feels when their rectum is at 150% capacity. grab a good book and make the experience last as long as possible. i also get it that some guys enjoy a little anal pampering afterwards. totally your prerogative, dude.

8/19/2009 7:56:39 PM

fuck that, in 2009 there are so many cool mobile apps to fuck around with on the shitter

8/19/2009 7:59:28 PM

my friend kate told me about this stuff a couple of months ago

it's phenomenal

and not too expensive

8/19/2009 8:01:16 PM

sometimes I take extra long poops

but ONLY when I'm at work

there's something deeply satisfying about knowing I'm getting paid a lot of money to push turds through my booty
that, and, I'm secretly ~
I mean, I HAVE to be ~ to let the logs out as slowly as possible. I haven't yet made a game out of it though.

8/19/2009 8:01:29 PM

next thing you know these guys are gonna be talking about using cucumber butthole lotion. you know, cause it's comfortable.

8/19/2009 8:01:31 PM

ONLY FAGGOTS DEFECATE

8/19/2009 8:06:21 PM

EMCE probably plays a variation of the game I play where I try to push the turd almost all the way out, till only the last inch is still inside me

then i try to suck it all back up in me, and repeat the process till the turd snaps

Its just like spitting and trying to pull the spitwad up back before it hits the ground, only different

8/19/2009 8:06:51 PM

so i wonder if thats what sex feels like to girls... backin one out

8/19/2009 8:08:59 PM

ps whats everyones ideal

i prefer 3.5 or so. 4 leaves too much cleanup, but 3 can sometimes be a real PAIN IN THE ASS to get out LOL

8/19/2009 8:10:16 PM

Meanwhile, the Plumbers Alliance is rejoicing

more clogged toilets imminent

8/19/2009 8:10:37 PM

4 or 5 for me, leaning toward 5

I don't mind a good wipe

8/19/2009 8:11:49 PM

i hate wiping my ass, if its not clean in like 3 tries then its water time

8/19/2009 8:13:33 PM

i like to drink so in the mornings its generally lower down on the chart

8/19/2009 8:14:07 PM

jackleg has a bidet !?!

8/19/2009 8:15:08 PM

ive got regular 2-play and some charmin wet wipes

if 2-3 wipes with dry dont get it clean, then i bust out the wets and that does the trick

8/19/2009 8:16:10 PM

Quote :

"regular 2-play"

i like to separate the plys myself...increase the surface area

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 8:17 PM. Reason : .]

8/19/2009 8:17:33 PM

no bidet. but im pretty "regular" (as evidenced by my constant level3-4 movements) so i pretty much drop one every morning after breakfast and before i take a shower. so 9/10 IM SOAPIN DAT ASS UP either way. but ive been known to turn a quick mid day dump into a shower just cause i don't want to wipe my ass for 15 minutes.

wow this got gross fast

8/19/2009 8:19:24 PM

Dweedle you better get 3 ply in the next few weeks

Because when I come to your house, I expect to wipe in luxury

8/19/2009 8:19:31 PM

lol i see my typo, but i dont understand the looming zing

8/19/2009 8:20:36 PM

Quote :

"ive been known to turn a quick mid day dump into a shower"

thats definitely worse than simply taking a long dump

^just making fun of the typo, and dropping surface area knowledge

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 8:21 PM. Reason : .]

8/19/2009 8:20:51 PM

what do you do, jackleg, bend over and spread your cheeks, so the shower water knocks off any fecal remnants ?

8/19/2009 8:21:47 PM

bent over far enough to catch the pellets in his mouth lulz

8/19/2009 8:22:28 PM

If you're a pro, you can one big heavy turd....

that way, some (clean) water splashes up in your butthole to allow you a quick wash while your wipe.

However, this can go horribly wrong if you're not careful. here, you might poop just enough to get the water muddy, and then drop a splasher which gets all over your cheeks.


it's a delicate science, which is hard to perfect

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 8:23 PM. Reason : ha ha ha, professional pooper. been poopin for 30 years!!1]

8/19/2009 8:23:22 PM

i put down a TP landing pad to avoid that splashback

especially if ive let out a lot of piss before the dump extrudes


BUT, the TP landing pad heightens the risk of cloggage 200%

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 8:24 PM. Reason : ]

8/19/2009 8:24:12 PM

I JUST GO AT DAT ASS WITH A BAR OF SOAP

no really i just take a shower like normal and wash my ass like normal. i suppose i spend a few extra seconds in the "pre-rinse" stage of the shower (the time where you normally just get wet until you get the water to the right temp)

8/19/2009 8:24:13 PM

Quote :

"like a sausage... smooth and soft"

8/19/2009 8:25:13 PM

hahaha, I hate you jackleg


'you're a fag if you poop for too long and stretch out your asshole....but I'll sit there and let warm water stimulate my asshole in the shower for a few minutes...CAUSE THAT'S HOW WE ROLL IN COMPTON!'

8/19/2009 8:26:38 PM

when i feel particularly frisky, i use that LAVA soap. that really shows my butthole who runs the show

8/19/2009 8:27:58 PM

why do i keep reading this thread

8/19/2009 8:28:11 PM

jackleg in the shower

8/19/2009 8:28:15 PM

cottonelle for the win

8/19/2009 8:29:27 PM

quality artwork ITT

8/19/2009 8:29:29 PM

that's a photoshop


i can tell by the pixels

8/19/2009 8:29:53 PM

damn jackleg, i didnt know you had dat 190% lance armstrong cancer

8/19/2009 8:29:59 PM

that's about right. i appreciate the generosity on the ole limpdick there, by the way

8/19/2009 8:30:19 PM

actually, not a photoshop. I've seen jackleg's balls, and they actually are that pointy...

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 8:30 PM. Reason : stabs girls in the chin]

8/19/2009 8:30:25 PM

I'm picking this shit up the next time I go to HT... this 3 ply toilet paper is a new chapter in the history of the human race.

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 8:33 PM. Reason : IN]

8/19/2009 8:30:30 PM

his testicles look like a molar

8/19/2009 8:30:31 PM

jackleg is a pasty white, and he apparently wears fake gold all over his body for the healthy green hue

8/19/2009 8:33:17 PM

it looks like you traced his arm from a mug handle

8/19/2009 8:34:08 PM

im a bit confused by the colors of reference since im greendick man. is that blood or dooky?

8/19/2009 8:35:01 PM