One time my cousin jumped out of a tree and broke both his arms

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12/4/2009 2:10:45 AM

feet first dude, dang. That's like rule #1

12/4/2009 2:19:45 AM

I saw this kid jump into the street to escape an attacking zombie while playing Humans vs. Zombies, and a car hit him and knocked him several feet into the air

12/4/2009 2:22:45 AM

I 'knew a guy' that jumped from a high location and landed into a squatting position to lessen the force on his knees. A stick was lying vertically beneath him and just so happened to line up correctly and go into his butt.

12/4/2009 2:30:39 AM

^and we call that 'fate'

12/4/2009 2:33:53 AM

I was once chased out of an apartment complex by 100 angry dudes who only got angrier when my friend, the only black dude at the party, decided to play drums on the titties of the white girl who was leading the mob.

12/4/2009 2:37:01 AM

Leonardo Da Vinci was a sodomite and left the Mona Lisa to his gay lover after he died.

12/4/2009 2:39:18 AM

I once had a dream about a golden man

he had a face like me and a mic in his hand!

12/4/2009 3:11:45 AM

Some argue

12/4/2009 4:12:39 AM

Cool story, brah!

12/4/2009 7:51:43 AM

Jesus wept.

12/4/2009 7:52:23 AM

There once was a man from Nantucket...

12/4/2009 8:45:32 AM

I was once clotheslined during a game of red rover. We were playing said game on the lawn at the front of the school during a bomb threat--so everyone saw it.

12/4/2009 10:14:04 AM

When I was 9, I was running on Topsail Beach with my brother trying to catch a Frisbee that my dad threw to us, when I stepped on barbed wire hidden underneath the sand. It went into my foot about 2 1/2 inches. I immediately pulled it out, instinctively, and watched my older brother pass out from shock. My dad carried my unconscious brother to the car, while I hopped to the car on one leg. It was the first time in my life where I was the big brother for once. I got a tetanus shot and they stitched me up within the hour at urgent care. My brother, to this day, hates it when I tell that story.

12/4/2009 10:26:25 AM

i saw a guy hit a small ditch on a dirtbike and snap both of his wrists. i didnt want to ride much that day after that

[Edited on December 4, 2009 at 10:34 AM. Reason : and yea, he barely hit the shit]

12/4/2009 10:34:08 AM

bttt

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/9/2010 1:12:20 AM

The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas by Ursula Le Guin

6/9/2010 1:41:46 AM

i think our pee can kill bushes cause several times i peed out a window and like there was a bush outside that window and then like a few months later i noticed the bush was dead

6/9/2010 2:10:12 AM