mom's side of the family has changed the xmas gift exchange thing from $20 to $5 this year. in semi-protest (these people are not down on their luck or have lost jobs or anything) i want to buy something big and useless and kinda funny. apparently toilet paper is expensive (usually throw it in the cart when i go w/ dad to sam's).

ideas?

i've also thought about something very small and useless, like 1 fancy napkin ring. i dunno...

12/11/2009 8:32:55 AM

dollar store

12/11/2009 8:41:22 AM

just want to say that toliet paper is not useless

12/11/2009 8:56:41 AM

just want to say that toliet paper is not useless

12/11/2009 9:03:55 AM

no, toilet paper isn't useless, but the scratch melt in your hand stuff is.

i've thought of the dollar store and been to look around, but didn't find anything.

12/11/2009 9:18:31 AM

$5 worth of popped popcorn (the cheap stale kind)
a giant ball (you know the kind in the ball corral) [not useless to a kid though]
a plastic bucket [not really useless but most people have buckets if they need them]

Another way to go about is to put a $5 bill in the bottom of a big box full of packing material (like foam peanuts) if you can get the packing material for free from work or something.

I used to do a $20 gift as a box in a box in a box (etc) and have each progressively smaller box harder and harder to open (more tape!) and have something worth $20 (or giftcard) in the last box. In your case I'd probably do 500 pennies in the last box.

12/11/2009 9:20:57 AM

I say you box and wrap each of the 500 pennies separately.

12/11/2009 9:24:39 AM

So do you spend $5 on one person or $5 on every person in the family?

I vote for a $5 dildo in Priscilla's clearance bin.

12/11/2009 9:32:24 AM

if it's just one person you should spend 20 bucks on that one person and make everyone else feel like cheap assholes.

12/11/2009 9:36:49 AM

OH SNAP... THE PERFECT IDEA! I HAVE A BIG ASS BEACH UMBRELLA WITH THE CORONA LOGO...

lets be honest, a beach umbrella is pretty fucking useless, and I think it would be hilarious if it went to someone in a fucking gift exchange (is this like a white elephant thing where its a game or did you guys just draw the name of someone else?). I'd sell it to you for $5. Haha.

Let me know (though, now that I think about it, I don't think you live in the area do you )

12/11/2009 9:36:53 AM

$5 for one gift, then we go in birthday or alphabetical order and choose a new gift or steal someone else's (apparently this isn't a word). there are a million different names, dirty santa, xmas bingo, blah blah.

i like the pennies idea. the $5 inside a box inside a box inside a box is my backup idea.

12/11/2009 9:37:25 AM

oh, if it's secret santa then something more malicious. not the $20 idea as no one will know it was from you.

12/11/2009 9:38:50 AM

get them a $5 gift certificate to somewhere that $5 won't buy much of anything... like a really nice spa or a jeweler (doubt they give gift certificates but you get the idea)

12/11/2009 9:40:19 AM

The correct answer is...


















































FIVE
FIVE DOLLAR
FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLONG!!!!1

although you're an idiot if you complain about getting a big steaming meatball sub for Christmas. [no innuendo]

[Edited on December 11, 2009 at 9:44 AM. Reason : l]

12/11/2009 9:43:24 AM

Buy them screen names on TWW.

12/11/2009 9:45:15 AM

hahahahahhahhaaaa

12/11/2009 9:46:33 AM

lol a FIVE

FIVE DOLLAR

FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLONG wrapped up in a box would bring severe lulz. As long as it's fresh

12/11/2009 9:46:43 AM

Quote :

"like a really nice spa"

Body Sense does and that's a lulzy idea.

$5 for one gift? Your family is being cheap as hell

12/11/2009 9:49:54 AM

its not useless but target has these $5 gift cards but they're like little coins, i guess for kids or just a different spin on the gift card

also you can hit the $1 bins at target right at the front. or scope out the clearance shit on the ends of the aisles to find random shit for under $5

or goodwill.

12/11/2009 9:53:31 AM

give them a card that says you've made a $5 donation in their name to The Human Fund

12/11/2009 9:58:53 AM

^^yeah!! my great aunt says it's "fun". she said people get useless stuff for $20 so why spend so much? i disagree. maybe if you weren't so lazy and took a minute to think about what someone might like, you'd get a better gift. we bring giant maglites that are on clearance, NICE candles like Woodwick, a cooking set with bowls, cake mix, icing, and spatula. cheap bastards

oh and i'm in rocky mount

12/11/2009 10:00:10 AM

Quote :

"give them a card that says you've made a $5 donation in their name to The Human Fund"

The donation idea is a good one. You can do Heifer International

http://www.heifer.org/

12/11/2009 10:05:38 AM

id get one of those bigass black felt marker by numbers things

if it's for an adult

12/11/2009 10:09:20 AM

^^oh damn. that makes me feel bad now. i did get my aunt a donation to the darfur stoves project though

ok i found a set of 6 boxes here at work that fit inside each other.

12/11/2009 10:16:36 AM

12/11/2009 10:21:41 AM

+

12/11/2009 11:08:01 AM

just go to a yard sale, sweep your hand across the edge of a table, collect everything that falls, and pay your $5. at the very least it'll keep whomever gets it busy for a little while

12/11/2009 12:34:36 PM

Damn $5? What's the point? That's incredibly lame.

12/11/2009 1:08:26 PM

lol my family also went from $20 to $5 this year. I will be keeping an eye on this thread.

12/11/2009 1:21:30 PM

Quote :

"give them a card that says you've made a $5 donation in their name to The Human Fund"

haha! FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!

12/11/2009 1:39:20 PM

Quote :

"FIVE FIVE DOLLAR FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLONG!!!!1"

+1 for this idea

12/11/2009 2:57:05 PM

We should have a regift exchange instead of the $5 new gift limit.
That would be funny.

12/11/2009 4:29:07 PM

get a huge cardboard box and put a bunch of little wrapped boxes in it and a note that says "Find the $5 bill". then tape the $5 on the bottom of the big box instead of putting it in any of the little boxes inside.

12/11/2009 4:42:03 PM

Industrial size can of baked beans.

12/11/2009 5:04:34 PM

i hate these stupid gifting games, but don't mind me i'm just bitter.

if i ever have to go to one of these again, i'm bringing a couple of cans of cheap dogfood.
or $5 worth of Lotto Tix, prescratched.

12/11/2009 6:43:13 PM

i hate these things

last year, I was second to get my gift. Instead of the mag-lite that my cousin unwrapped, I got greedy and went for a new one.

I ended up with a "Control Your Man" remote.



Of course nobody traded or stole with me.

I drove 8 hours for that. I was bitter. Trashed it at a rest area on my way home.

12/11/2009 10:58:43 PM

^ What kind of jerk brings that to a present swap? That sucks for you

12/11/2009 11:02:14 PM

50,000 coupons from Sunday circulars.

12/12/2009 12:12:19 PM

one of those big easel/notepad things like on win lose or draw

12/12/2009 12:20:15 PM

wait why are families putting price requirements on christmas presents? wow. learn what christmas is about.

[Edited on December 12, 2009 at 12:31 PM. Reason : /moralfag]

12/12/2009 12:30:47 PM

bag of cement mix or sand from lowe's
bag of mulch

12/12/2009 3:31:27 PM

^^ Because it's a present swap. Which is kind of dumb to do with family on a whole other level, but you kind of have to put a price limit on these dumb things.

12/12/2009 8:06:54 PM

However much bubble popping packing material you can get for $5

12/12/2009 8:08:52 PM

man these are some good ideas!

we used to draw names, which i very much prefer, but apparently someone thought this kind of this is "fun".

it is fun at work, when the business is paying for the presents, b/c they buy all of them and they're generally in the $200-300 range depending on the year.

12/14/2009 10:45:51 AM

i would say one of those giant remotes for your tv (i think they sell them at kmart)


....from a different angle though.... a few years back our family went from the big dollar to the small dollar gift category so those of us still in college, or just without jobs, etc. could play along and it worked out really well. I think I ended up getting my cousin some super sweet silk scarf (on sale for ~$7) and i ended up with a box of chocolates (small but very nice quality). it was awesome.

12/14/2009 1:11:07 PM

yeah, i can understand that situation, but none of us have lost jobs, had pay cuts, or just can't afford it. those are nice ideas, but i'm not aiming for quality.

i'm going to go see how much quikrete costs. maybe deer corn. hmm...

12/14/2009 1:22:18 PM

^oh yeah i get it. this present is spite related. been there. done that. felt good - til later when it somehow bit me in the ass. hahahaha.


however, if you are going to go this route i would somehow suggest the least amount of work/hauling/wrapping or they might technically get the best of you. i really like the idea of the '$5 gift to charity in your honor' thing. zero work and guaranteed to piss the heck out of someone

12/14/2009 2:16:12 PM

Petsmart sells a fairly large stuffed dog called "chance" for $5. Part of the $5 goes to the ASPCA or CCCP or something. Also, buy one bottle of two buck chuck and bring it with you to the gifting thing, lol.

12/14/2009 5:02:20 PM

5 of those stupid $1 Facebook gifts

12/14/2009 11:25:05 PM

You can find these several places, from between 5 to 10 bucks.

12/15/2009 8:31:26 AM