http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html

3/1/2010 9:42:22 PM

k

3/1/2010 9:42:35 PM

eh, we all have our quirks...

3/1/2010 9:44:23 PM

his name is dragon-wolfe dolphinn

3/1/2010 9:47:22 PM

i will film myself eating a bug and post it on tww if this thread makes it past 1 page

3/1/2010 11:05:40 PM

I heard him interviewed on Howard Stern a few years back. Really bizarre fellow. I do remember him saying he doesn't insert. Haha a dolphin won't put up with that bullshit.

3/1/2010 11:08:44 PM

3/1/2010 11:11:47 PM

well maybe he doesn't anymore, but it looks like he has in the past

Quote :

"Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time."

3/1/2010 11:12:05 PM

3/1/2010 11:14:51 PM

Quote :

"WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death."

Quote :

"The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! "

Quote :

"She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time."

Quote :

"One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them."

Quote :

"DO NOT force the issue with a dolphin! Trying to restrain them will only break their trust in you, and could cause you serious injury. Pat them, stroke them and talk to them lovingly, but do not try anything else. It is best, anyway, to let the dolphin tell you when they are ready. It is far more pleasant, and more fulfilling anyway. And more special."

Quote :

"You should love a dolphin, not because of the sexual relief they can provide, but because they are a unique animal, one of the few wild animals that seek the company of man by their own initiative. This is special. Do not abuse it."

COMEDIC GOLDMINE.

3/1/2010 11:21:32 PM

i love how he uses the term "masturbate them"

3/1/2010 11:22:42 PM

i really want to click that link but i wont

3/1/2010 11:25:04 PM

there aren't any pictures or anything. it's just this guy talking about fucking dolphins and treating it like a Q&A session or something.

3/1/2010 11:26:12 PM

I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shit
This dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet.
But this ain't Seaworld, this is as real as it gets.
I'm on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget!



[Edited on March 1, 2010 at 11:28 PM. Reason : .]

3/1/2010 11:28:08 PM

where does he get access to the dolphins?

wait. i don't want to know.

3/1/2010 11:28:31 PM

crazy aquatic STDs ITT

3/1/2010 11:30:33 PM

^^

Quote :

"Q6) Where can I find a dolphin to mate with? A6) Aquariums are a bad choice, for many reasons. Too public, the dolphins are not in their natural habitat, night visits are impossible, etc etc... some may have external enclosures, which may be accesable, but that is no guarantee. Best thing sometimes is to find a beach or a cove that the dolphins frequent. It takes time to develop a relationship with a dolphin to the point where they will let you mate with them (although some have been as quick as 3 days to acclimatize). Gaining their trust takes time, and you need to visit frequently. This is impossible for some people, I understand, but it is the best way. Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbour of my resident city."

[Edited on March 1, 2010 at 11:31 PM. Reason : .]

3/1/2010 11:31:34 PM

^^ I lmfao.

[Edited on March 1, 2010 at 11:33 PM. Reason : .]

3/1/2010 11:31:35 PM

ok this guy is fucking kidding

3/1/2010 11:32:42 PM

^ No, he's fucking dolphins. not Goats...


Because remember, you fuck one goat...

3/1/2010 11:34:40 PM

I make a habit of only mating with my own species.


So say this guy were caught by a random police officer or for hilarity's sake the coast guard, what would he ultimately be charged with?

3/1/2010 11:34:43 PM

Well, if it's consensual and the dolphin is at least 18 years of age...

3/1/2010 11:35:29 PM

I do know that it is not considered cruelty to animals. . .

3/1/2010 11:36:26 PM

Quote :

"Well, if it's consensual and the dolphin is at least 18 years of age... "

in some states a dolphin may be younger than 18 to consent to being fucked by a human

3/1/2010 11:36:59 PM

instead of anal, you can do blow-hole

3/1/2010 11:37:09 PM

^^animal cruelty, trespassing, etc.

Wikipedia even lists 'sex with a minor' as a charged offense

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoosexuality_and_the_law

[Edited on March 1, 2010 at 11:38 PM. Reason : link]

3/1/2010 11:37:40 PM

There was a recent case where sex with animals was not considered cruelty because no animals were actually harmed...

3/1/2010 11:38:28 PM

Quote :

"instead of anal, you can do blow-hole "

i suppose it's perfectly logical to assume that some dolphins may also be into asphyxiation

3/1/2010 11:38:39 PM

The jig is up!

You found my website! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

3/1/2010 11:47:14 PM

Quote :

"I first realized I was a Delphinic Zoophile when I was 12 years old, which is when I had my first sexual encounter with a dolphin. This is not that particular occasion, since my first lover was brutally killed in an act of sensless violence that I will never forgive, or forget. She continues to live in my memories, though..."

3/1/2010 11:48:41 PM

^ that dolphin should've been charged with statutory rape

3/1/2010 11:51:39 PM

oh yeah, dolphinsex.org from back in the day. hilarious
http://web.archive.org/web/20001109085800/http://www.dolphinsex.org/

3/1/2010 11:52:10 PM

Looks like the exact same material that was posted on dolphinsex.com when it made its rounds nearly 8 years ago.

PS: it wasn't that funny back then either.

obligatory [OLD]

^

[Edited on March 1, 2010 at 11:59 PM. Reason : ]

3/1/2010 11:58:32 PM

Quote :

"Looks like the exact same material that was posted on dolphinsex.com when it made its rounds nearly 8 years ago."

oh god damn i'm sorry for not being on TWW 8 years ago when i was a sophomore in high school. also i'm sorry you can't find humor in the fact that a guy named dragon-wolfe dolphinn wrote an in depth guide to fucking sea creatures. real or not, it's ridiculous.

[Edited on March 2, 2010 at 12:06 AM. Reason : .]

3/2/2010 12:02:33 AM

^you mean you weren't reading up on dolphin sex in high school?

the educational system is really falling apart these days.

3/2/2010 12:08:41 AM

^ they were teaching abstinence at the catholic high school i attended. you really think they'd be telling me how to fuck a dolphin when human vaginas were to be used for nothing more than heavy petting?

3/2/2010 12:10:51 AM

^well if you just put it in the blowhole you are still a virgin

3/2/2010 12:12:16 AM

Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World

3/2/2010 12:15:29 AM

^^ I think I am in love with you now, lol

3/2/2010 12:15:42 AM

^

but alas, i'm not a dolphin...

3/2/2010 12:20:03 AM

so, how did you find this shit

3/2/2010 12:21:11 AM

how did one NOT find this shit.

3/2/2010 12:25:21 AM

There aren't enough s in the world for that article

3/2/2010 12:28:10 AM

ok sorry for never seeing fucking dolphin fucker guy before. i guess i neglected to sift through that particular corner of internet filth one day.

3/2/2010 12:28:49 AM

3/2/2010 12:31:24 AM

who's got two thumbs and hooks up with dolphins?

3/2/2010 12:34:52 AM

Quote :

"well if you just put it in the blowhole you are still a virgin"

well played

3/2/2010 12:35:44 AM

^^ Bob Kelso, how ya doin?

3/2/2010 12:36:35 AM

well, the simpsons did it.

3/2/2010 12:37:09 AM

Quote :

"i will film myself eating a bug and post it on tww if this thread makes it past 1 page "

oh so close...

3/2/2010 12:54:16 AM