Yes/no: the married couple has any ground to stand on, when it comes to asking you to post/share the pictures you took?

The pictures you took (with your own camera - we're not talking about disposables on the table at the reception) were never a sure thing, and as such, are all a bonus, and should be accepted graciously as an unexpected gift.

Thoughts?

6/15/2010 11:18:06 PM

did they not have a wedding photograpist?

maybe they just want some candid pictures too

6/15/2010 11:20:08 PM

i mean, if the bride & groom asked me to share my photos i would burn a cd & mail it to them no questions asked

if you're a good enough friend to be invited and even care enough to take pictures at the wedding, why wouldn't you share if asked??

6/15/2010 11:21:51 PM

^^Ostensibly, they did

Turns out it was a friend of the bride. And she was VERY unprofessional, and I was not the only one at the wedding and reception who had concerns about the photos the bride was going to get. At least at the reception, she acted as a guest, instead of a hired professional, at least 70% of the time - if not closer to 90%.

Quote :

"i mean, if the bride & groom asked me to share my photos i would burn a cd & mail it to them no questions asked if you're a good enough friend to be invited and even care enough to take pictures at the wedding, why wouldn't you share if asked??"

And normally, I would have, and have done so in the past.
The time between the wedding and now have been eaten up thusly:
- vacation after the wedding (I haven't even looked at MY pictures from this part of the trip)
- getting ready to move; shit like cleaning, packing, giving shit away, etc
- moving
- living in a new place and working

I don't have my desktop; I HATE trying to do photo stuff on my laptop.
I'm not her friend. I don't think she likes me, and I'm not too fond of her. She's family.



[Edited on June 15, 2010 at 11:24 PM. Reason : asadf]

6/15/2010 11:22:20 PM

do they have any ground to stand on to demand pictures from you? no

Should you withhold them just because of some suspected grudge? no

like her or not, she's family, the time and effort of dragging them to a cd or dvd is probably less than what you'll spend making and posting in this thread.

[Edited on June 15, 2010 at 11:32 PM. Reason : .]

6/15/2010 11:32:11 PM

send them the pictures, but use photoshop to put a few extra pounds on the bride

6/15/2010 11:33:54 PM

im sure she'll include some random anal fisting image just to satisfy her silly cattiness

6/15/2010 11:35:05 PM

knowing that puts a smile on my face

6/15/2010 11:36:42 PM

I'm not withholding them because of a grudge (see: point about not having even looked at my own vacation pictures from that trip). She's not worth a grudge, and she's not done any one thing that one could pin a grudge on.

Quote :

"like her or not, she's family, the time and effort of dragging them to a cd or dvd is probably less than what you'll spend making and posting in this thread."

This is false.
I won't publish (as it were) photos without reviewing them and editing as necessary. This is time-consuming on my faster, better desktop
I also can't burn CDs or DVDs (see: laptop), nor do I have any of these. But that's really a non-issue, since she really wants them on facebook.

Quite frankly, I didn't care about getting these pictures done and out beforehand, and I don't care any more, despite her request.
I'm just curious as to why she thinks this is a reasonable request to make.

I've already told her, in slightly more acceptable language, that she'll get the pictures when she gets them, and that this isn't a priority, and doing so isn't really even feasible right now or in the near future.


[Edited on June 15, 2010 at 11:39 PM. Reason : as]

6/15/2010 11:37:31 PM

Well I think if she demands them from you and doesn't really want to give you time to even think then you should probably be like fuck that...

But if she is more like "hey would you mind sharing the pictures that you took at our wedding when you get a chance?"
I'd be all like "well sure darling!"

6/15/2010 11:39:19 PM

Quote :

"why wouldn't you share if asked??"

this isn't really a complicated issue at all

but you're trying way to hard to make it so

Quote :

"I'm just curious as to why she thinks this is a reasonable request to make."

because most people would just post that shit and move on without fabricating a 37 point list of things that needed to be done first

[Edited on June 15, 2010 at 11:43 PM. Reason : s]

6/15/2010 11:41:15 PM

RTFT n00b

^^See my edit

6/15/2010 11:41:37 PM

Some people seem to think you have a social contract requiring you to post all pictures you ever take. I've had people annoy the crap out of me about pictures before and they were from far less important events.

6/15/2010 11:44:38 PM

another thread that exhibits how shitty of a fucking person you are



you are constantly filled with excuses as to why you dont have to do shit for other people



quit being a blood-soaked tampon bitch and give them your fucking photos that you took at their wedding you worthless cunt

6/16/2010 1:07:26 AM

I'm confused about what the issue is exactly. Was she just being bitchy when she asked for the photos? What exactly was said in this exchange?

6/16/2010 1:15:56 AM

Quote :

"And normally, I would have, and have done so in the past. The time between the wedding and now have been eaten up thusly: - vacation after the wedding (I haven't even looked at MY pictures from this part of the trip) - getting ready to move; shit like cleaning, packing, giving shit away, etc - moving - living in a new place and working"

I was in a similar situation a while back. Bride kept asking for copies of my pictures because she wanted to make a scrapbook. I took some nice photos, but they were almost all done very quickly to catch candid moments; pointing the camera and shooting without even thinking about looking through the viewfinder. I fully planned to crop, rotate, and adjust color/contrast before giving them to her; thinking I was doing her a great favor, but in the end I just gave her the unedited pics and told her to do what she wanted with them. I wanted to do something nice, but in the end it was easier to just give her the pics and get rid of her than to keep hearing about her annoying my girlfriend about it on a near-daily basis. Sometimes you just gotta wash your hands of people instead of letting them run you down. Granted, I was a little slack, but I also wanted either full quality control or no accountability for the end result.

[Edited on June 16, 2010 at 1:37 AM. Reason : s]

6/16/2010 1:28:34 AM

Quote :

"another thread that exhibits how shitty of a fucking person you are you are constantly filled with excuses as to why you dont have to do shit for other people quit being a blood-soaked tampon bitch and give them your fucking photos that you took at their wedding you worthless cunt"

Truth. Although, I probably would have tried to state this in a softer way.

6/16/2010 7:12:40 AM

I think the problem here is you have a very high standard for your photos, a standard that is not required when posting them to facebook. Just send her web resolution copies of the originals, then if/when you get to it edit and watermark the good ones and ask her to delete and re-post those giving you credit for them. (credit only the good ones) That way the ones that are associated with you will have the quality standard you are looking for.

You are making this much more complicated than it has to be. It is HER wedding and last time I checked weddings are about the couple getting married not the friends/family members who might just happen to be photographers.

6/16/2010 8:09:43 AM

i didn't read this whole thread, but my fiancée and i are setting up a laptop for guests to download their pictures...we have a fair number of amateur photographers coming, and every now and then someone snaps a spectacular picture with a point-and-shoot...anyway, we want it all

of course it's optional and simply a request for people to copy their pictures onto the laptop...i consider it a bonus

6/16/2010 9:00:59 AM

There's also http://us.olapic.com/index.php for that purpose.


I'd personally be weary of my laptop being in a room full of drunk people

6/16/2010 9:09:03 AM

haha i know some people who dont delete any pics off their digital camera... i can see someone now downloading 1000 images and there are like 20 from the wedding

i like the idea though, its a reasonable way to capture other peoples pics

6/16/2010 9:12:08 AM

Yes/no: the married couple has any ground to stand on, when it comes to asking you to post/share the pictures you took?





seems like a very key word there

6/16/2010 9:15:49 AM

Quote :

"I'm just curious as to why she thinks this is a reasonable request to make."

Because it is an entirely reasonable request.

6/16/2010 9:16:11 AM

i personally wouldn't want someone else editing my pics. i'd prefer that you just send them on as is and let me handle it. same from the professional photographer (except for those my mom bought printed out)

6/16/2010 9:18:17 AM

Quote :

"There's also http://us.olapic.com/index.php for that purpose. I'd personally be weary of my laptop being in a room full of drunk people"

well...the laptop option is free and we have them available immediately and locally (we're heading to switzerland less than 48 hours later and we want to be able to start going through pictures on the plane

besides, it's going to be "managed" by a cousin who will be sitting near it and because of the way the ballroom is set up, it should be far enough away from the festivities to be safe from drunken shenanigans...not sure if we're going to have her get the pictures off the camera of just help people if they have trouble

Quote :

"haha i know some people who dont delete any pics off their digital camera... i can see someone now downloading 1000 images and there are like 20 from the wedding"

i borrowed a roommate's camera a few years ago and he said it was empty...i downloaded the pictures when i was done and noticed i had nearly 50 of his naked girlfriend (who, for all intents and purposes, lived with us at the time

what do you do? delete them from the camera and hope he thinks he just can't remember where he downloaded them to, or leave them on there and have him realize you very likely saw a full spread of his girlfriend? DECISIONS

Quote :

"i like the idea though, its a reasonable way to capture other peoples pics"

we thought so, too...obviously it's optional and i'm a bit worried that one laptop won't be enough (since people will likely leave in groups or at the same time when the reception's done), but anything is better than nothing...we're both photo nuts, we want as many different pictures as possible

Quote :

"i personally wouldn't want someone else editing my pics. i'd prefer that you just send them on as is and let me handle it. same from the professional photographer (except for those my mom bought printed out)"

fair enough, and the very reason we're buying the digital negatives individually from the photographers with a specific edit-approval release form...which i'm totally cool with

that said, the MAJORITY of people just take pictures and stop there...i'm competent enough with photoshop to improve them if necessary and i'm certainly not going to use them in way that reflects poorly on the person who took them...i mean, it's of MY wedding, it's in my best interest for them to look good

[Edited on June 16, 2010 at 9:20 AM. Reason : .]

6/16/2010 9:18:17 AM

It's not unreasonable of her to request the pictures that you took. In fact, many people would have already sent her the pictures. Trust me, the bride will probably want to edit the pictures herself because she has her own 'vision' of her wedding. Someone at my wedding had a disc waiting for me when we got home from our honeymoon. The photos were unedited and I had the best time with them.

I think that you're being unreasonable and difficult by not just sending her the pictures. However, she really doesn't have a right to the photos in any way, so if you don't want to send her the pictures then that's that.

6/16/2010 9:21:26 AM

one of my stipulations for our photographer was that i could have a disc of all the images, unedited, for me to use however i wanted. no release form bullshit. thankfully the dude everybody recommended around here let us do that.

6/16/2010 9:24:52 AM

Quote :

"one of my stipulations for our photographer was that i could have a disc of all the images, unedited, for me to use however i wanted. no release form bullshit. thankfully the dude everybody recommended around here let us do that."

RAW (digital negatives) or JPGs? there's a difference (technically if not theoretically)...we had a hard time finding a photographer worth their salt that was willing to give up the RAW files

we're getting all of our photos (edited and unedited) in JPEG-12 as part of our package...and RAW files for a set price each, per request

made me happy, anyway

*shrug*

[Edited on June 16, 2010 at 9:27 AM. Reason : .]

6/16/2010 9:27:40 AM

they were jpgs. not rotated, cropped, color altered, etc. i don't need "raw" files to keep on my computer or make an apple photo book.

6/16/2010 9:37:58 AM

^ you don't "need" unedited, un-cropped, non-color-corrected photos on your computer to do it, either

the truth that i'm willing to acknowledge is that they're better at what they do than i am...i WANT them to edit, crop, and color-correct the pictures because they'll do a better job (in most cases) than i can do...i would assume that your photographers are better at that than you are, too

at the same time, i'm not dumb and my fiancée and i have our own style, so i want the ability to edit them in my own way...i might create something i like better...i want RAW files because JPGs are, technically, edited and color-corrected in the camera...as often as not, i find that my RAW edits are better than the camera's interpretation...there IS a reason photographers usually shoot in RAW

[Edited on June 16, 2010 at 9:46 AM. Reason : my grammar is teh suck]

6/16/2010 9:41:30 AM

"oh no! my camera broke!" - problem solved

6/16/2010 9:45:06 AM

It is intirely(sp) possible that you could have taken a picture that they like more than one that a photog took. If the bride wants a picture I don't see why its so hard to give them a picture.

I mean theydid invite you to their wedding

6/16/2010 9:50:13 AM

Is your spell check broken today?

6/16/2010 9:51:06 AM

Quote :

"i WANT them to edit, crop, and color-correct the pictures because they'll do a better job (in most cases) than i can d"

this costs money that i don't really believe in spending. mom got all the photos she wanted professionally printed, got the book thing, i got my cd. we're good. all i did w/ the pics was put them on facebook & store on the computer. i thought at first i'd print a book but i doubt i will. my goal for the wedding was not to waste money on crap i didn't need. to each her own.

back to it, just send the pics and don't worry about editing. if you hate this person why are you willing to spend the time editing them anyway? screw that crap

6/16/2010 10:08:33 AM

This is not an unreasonable request. You could've captured something her hired photog didn't.

Just add em to a flickr or picassa album or something.

6/16/2010 10:08:54 AM

Quote :

"this costs money that i don't really believe in spending."

that's a separate cost that your photographer charges? i considered ours very reasonable in terms of price, and that's part of their services

*shrug*

6/16/2010 10:13:17 AM

Quote :

"It is intirely(sp) possible that you could have taken a picture that they like more than one that a photog took. If the bride wants a picture I don't see why its so hard to give them a picture. I mean theydid invite you to their wedding"

Which also means you ate/drank/partied for free, if not on their dime, then on their parents'. Either tell her she'll get them after you've had a chance to go through them first, or just send them to her without editing and what not. There is nothing wrong with telling her to wait for them, but it would be unnecessary, and a bit rude, to never share them with the couple.

6/16/2010 10:15:21 AM

Quote :

"that's a separate cost that your photographer charges?"

Yeah I've never heard of that either.

Quote :

" it would be unnecessary, and a bit rude, to never share them with the couple."

Exactly.

I still want to know if there's more to this story that we're missing.

6/16/2010 10:17:26 AM

If you don't even like these people, why did you take professional quality photos at their wedding?

6/16/2010 10:21:28 AM

ummm just give them to her? copies....

what's the big fucking deal here? if it's a $$ issue then just ask for the few bucks it takes to go to one of those photo printer kiosk things and print/burn them there....

you're making this far too difficult and involved

6/16/2010 10:29:05 AM

Quote :

"I'm confused about what the issue is exactly. Was she just being bitchy when she asked for the photos? What exactly was said in this exchange?"

No, she wasn't bitchy at all. To some degree (ok, likes 99.99999%), the issue is that she even asked in the first place. She has done nothing wrong. I thought I explained my thinking on the matter clearly enough, but I guess not. It is: By god, woman, I'll get to them when I get to them, and that's that. Apparently, this stance is the unreasonable one, and while I can accept that, I don't agree with it. I know now.

Quote :

"Granted, I was a little slack, but I also wanted either full quality control or no accountability for the end result."

Unfortunately, "no accountability" is a little hard to achieve.



When I responded, it was "Yes, I will put these up. But it's likely not for a long while - I'm not at home for quite some time, remember?". She was very gracious.

D'oh: regarding why I'm even there and shit. She's family. Kin of my husband. I go because he goes. He doesn't enjoy said weddings; I go to try to make things a little more bearable for him.

Quote :

"If you don't even like these people, why did you take professional quality photos at their wedding?"

Who said anything about professional quality?




[Edited on June 16, 2010 at 10:32 AM. Reason : relationsihp]

[Edited on June 16, 2010 at 10:34 AM. Reason : as]

6/16/2010 10:30:47 AM

Quote :

"When I responded, it was "Yes, I will put these up. But it's likely not for a long while - I'm not at home for quite some time, remember?". She was very gracious."

Well in that case, you're the one coming off as bitchy She was probably just asking just as a reminder more than anything. I know that if I don't ask my relatives after my wedding there's no way I'll ever see those photos. People get busy with their every day lives and just plumb forget to send things out even if they have the intention to.

[Edited on June 16, 2010 at 10:37 AM. Reason : b helps]

6/16/2010 10:36:34 AM