Divorced parents seem to bring maximum drama.

6/21/2010 8:47:52 PM

Yeah, be glad.

That shit sucks, B. I was like... the saddest 6 year old in the world

6/21/2010 8:48:52 PM

>_>

6/21/2010 8:48:52 PM

I imagine that shit is the most annoying during the holidays. It's bad enough when my parents are debating whether we'll stay home for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas or go to my grandma's. I can't even imagine what it would be like if the debate was between the two of them.

6/21/2010 8:50:34 PM

aha, when you're 6, the concept of Mom and Dad not loving each other and splitting up makes absolutely no sense. It's like trying to grasp astrophysics.

6/21/2010 8:50:44 PM

i juggled three thanksgiving dinners last year, in one day

moms, dads, gfs parents

vom

6/21/2010 8:51:43 PM

^this....granted I dealt with it alright. I just grew up angry

6/21/2010 8:51:44 PM

I wish my parents were divorced. At least they would only fight on holidays when the whole family gets together instead of literally every time they speak to each other

6/21/2010 8:52:09 PM

^^^ Yeah screw that lol. I want my butt parked in one house for the duration of the gluttony.

[Edited on June 21, 2010 at 8:52 PM. Reason : a]

6/21/2010 8:52:34 PM

the main reason i'm happy as hell i'm on night shift through xmas week

6/21/2010 9:10:20 PM

Quote :

"i juggled three thanksgiving dinners last year, in one day moms, dads, gfs parents vom"

Screw that. My wife and I make them come to us as much as we can. It's going to get easier with the kids coming just before Thanksgiving. "Oh no, we can't really travel with the newborns, if you want to see them you're just going to have to come to us"

6/21/2010 9:11:54 PM

Hell yeah. I see nothing wrong with using babies as bargaining chips

6/21/2010 9:14:30 PM

At that point they aren't bargaining chips. There's no bargaining involved.

At that point they're blackmail leverage.

6/21/2010 9:15:25 PM

my parents divorced when i was about 5 yrs old, we did the every-other-weekend thing for about 3 years, then drama happened once and i've only seen my father a couple times ever since ... 1998 being the last, when my sister graduated high school

6/21/2010 9:17:34 PM

oh you don't know drama until you meet my divorced parents.....who just divorced a little over 3 years ago.

long story but just fyi, don't tell your significant other that the "only way out of the marriage was to cheat" and then disown everyone. and then decide 6 months later, nothing is "wrong" and it's "not a big deal," that everyone "should just get over it," and want to be involved again. doesn't fly.

luckily as an adult, i was able to make the right decisions instead of being swayed and pulled and thrown into the middle.

6/21/2010 9:19:29 PM

Quote :

"I wish my parents were divorced. At least they would only fight on holidays when the whole family gets together instead of literally every time they speak to each other"

I feel you. Most of my childhood I wished my parents would divorce (from each other ... again) so I didn't have to be in the middle of their crap. But now they are happy together, so whatever.

6/21/2010 9:45:11 PM

^^ wtf

6/21/2010 9:47:20 PM

itt everyone reveals they have effed up families

6/21/2010 9:49:04 PM

it gets better after a couple years.

like 10

6/21/2010 9:51:46 PM

I'm super glad my parents separated when I was like two

They're bad enough on their own

[Edited on June 21, 2010 at 9:54 PM. Reason : There isn't a person in my family that hasn't been through at least one divorce]

6/21/2010 9:53:34 PM

stop your bitching, at least your parents are alive

6/21/2010 9:54:41 PM

Quote :

"^^ wtf"

yeah and it was my mom

6/21/2010 10:15:14 PM

I don't have any divorced relatives on my side of the family. My wife's folks are divorced and has only one aunt and uncle who's never been divorced. But we've been married longer than they have.

I've never even seen my parents fight. This has put me at a disadvantage in my own marriage. I never got to observe them fighting and as a result, missed out on learning marital fighting technique.

In other words, I never win any arguments with my wife.



[Edited on June 21, 2010 at 10:24 PM. Reason : .]

6/21/2010 10:23:22 PM

Quote :

"I've never even seen my parents fight."

My friend's parents were also like this. Then one day they upped and got divorced out of the blue. Turns out they were just doing all the fighting when he wasn't around

6/21/2010 10:24:55 PM

^^ The ability to fight back does not guarantee success in an argument.

If anything it only guarantees that the argument will get worse.

6/21/2010 10:27:40 PM

every argument you win is a Pyrrhic victory.

that's why we have man caves.

[Edited on June 21, 2010 at 10:30 PM. Reason : more like fallout shelters amirite]

6/21/2010 10:30:23 PM

I was blessed to marry a woman who respects a logically constructed argument (which is great except that she's better at it than I am ).

Doesn't help with hurt feelings though, avoiding those is the real victory in any argument.

[Edited on June 21, 2010 at 10:38 PM. Reason : /]

6/21/2010 10:35:38 PM

ISSUES ITT

6/22/2010 12:27:56 AM

ONE CHRISTMAS INDAHOUSE

6/22/2010 12:33:36 AM

We had 3 divorces in the family in a 4 month period in 2006 (parents, and an aunt/uncle on each side). Most awkward Christmas ever.

6/22/2010 1:42:29 AM

I had probably the least dramatic upbringing possible within the context of typical human frivolity, and my parents divorced when I was 5.

Just depends on the folks involved, I suppose. My parents never had anything bad to say about one another, ever, or if they did they were careful never to say it in front of me. I believe mutual respect is the key.

I know plenty of people who have lives inundated with drama coming from parents that "stayed together for the kids" and ended up loathing each other. It seems to me that is much more detrimental than splitting up and fostering a healthy relationship with another person to serve as an example to the child.

6/22/2010 2:02:23 AM

mine divorced when i was 12 - no arguing / legal drama - they just asked my bro and I what WE wanted from the situation, as far as picking the parent to stay with. i'm glad they did, cause they put in 16 years, and knew when to throw in the towel...they're ultimately happier for it.

6/22/2010 2:06:02 AM

I'm glad too. Had 1 divorce out of all 11 of my parents' brothers and sisters. The one uncle got divorced just months into the marriage and has been married 25+ years since.

6/22/2010 2:23:44 AM

My dad is getting married for the 3rd time this weekend. To a woman where it will be here 2nd marriage. My first stepmom is on her third marriage.

Several years ago my mom got married for the 3rd time as well. It's her current husband's second marriage. My first stepdad is on his 3rd marriage as well.

I tell people I don't have a family tree, I have a family vine that resembles the one at Wrigley Field.

6/22/2010 7:45:41 AM

My parents are divorced, but my father was absent my entire conscious life and ultimately killed himself five years ago. No drama!

6/22/2010 8:02:53 AM

I actually can't imagine the thought of my parents together.

I'm like... you did WHAT? How was I conceived?? No way I believe you. haha

6/22/2010 8:36:21 AM

My parents never bothered to get divorced, but haven't lived together for about 15 years and mom bitches about him constantly and talks about why she should divorce him.

It's worse.

6/22/2010 8:37:50 AM

^

6/22/2010 8:41:06 AM

I'd rather my parents be divorced than still together. Hell, I was GLAD when they said they were getting a divorce (and I was 10 years old). It did suck having visits that were legally bound, aka no way of getting out of them. BUT.... I have never not spent a Christmas with my mom. I alternated Thanksgivings and other random holidays but he never got Christmas. And once I turned 18, it wasn't nearly as big of a deal because I could pick my time and if I wanted to leave early, WOOT I could.

But honestly, after the divorce ended, the drama wasn't between my parents. It was between my dad and me/my sister with my mom backing us up. Whenever my mom did have to speak to my dad, he didn't even try arguing because if she was talking to him, that meant she was beyond pissed and I don't think he really wanted to feel her wrath.

Anyway, my mom remarried and has been with that man for 11 years now (and is happy, and he's the best stepdad ever). My dad dated a bunch of women then married one, then cheated on her, then divorced her, then married her again, then divorced her again.

I will say one thing about witnessing a pretty nasty divorce at a young age: it's taught me what I definitely don't want in a marriage (or even in a date).

[Edited on June 22, 2010 at 8:45 AM. Reason : .]

6/22/2010 8:44:31 AM

My parents are still together thankfully, but my wife's parents separated when she was in high school and they cannot even be in the same town together. We alternate Christmas each year between my parents and her parents.

So if we go up to her mom's in upstate NY, we spend half of the time there in NY and then drive 6+ hours to Rhode Island to spend the other half at her dad's. Her dad is so anal about this that he more or less gets upset if we spend a few more hours at her mom's than his house. It sucks. Plus our 2 yr old daughter is all confused about all of the grandmas because her dad is remarried to some bitch that is only 7 years older than my wife.

Yeah divorce brings the drama.

6/22/2010 8:47:43 AM

I thought my parents were going to get divorced after 30yrs of marriage...but a little rehab and couples counseling went a long way for them, and now they are happier and stronger than ever

That was a pretty dramarific year though

6/22/2010 8:57:22 AM

^^

yeah i feel you on that. my daughter basically has 3 sets of grandparents. However, she isn't very confused by it, as that's all she's known, and they all have different "grandparent names" that she calls them by.

6/22/2010 9:11:19 AM

I had something similar during my first two or three years of college. My parents were going through some bad crap and it got to where my dad would come home to work and just go spend the night on the boat, or he's just work from the boat. It got pretty dramarific and they went to counseling and seem a lot better now. Mom would never talk about it and dad would sometimes mention it to my sister and I (apparently would ask my sister for advice ) but we never really got that involved with it.

I think mom was just being a bitch, and still is, but they seem a LOT better now.

6/22/2010 9:15:28 AM

^^ That's how it was for me growing up. My dad's parents were Bi and Ba, my mom's mom and step-dad were Grandpa and Grandma, and my mom's dad and step-mom were Grandpa Pete and Grandma Barbara.

Now the interesting thing is I found out a few years ago that apparently my sister and I came up with the names for her dad and step-mom all on our own. I don't remember that at all but she swears that's how it happened.

6/22/2010 9:20:00 AM

Having divorced parents really sucks, or at least in my family's situation. I have essentially no relationship with my father, mostly as a result of my mother's constant denigration over the course of my childhood. All I ever heard was what a bastard the man was, so it took years (a decade, more maybe?) for me to realize there were two sides, and I never heard his. To this day, we still don't speak really. Emailing three or four times a year is about it :-/

6/22/2010 9:21:36 AM

Quote :

"My friend's parents were also like this. Then one day they upped and got divorced out of the blue. Turns out they were just doing all the fighting when he wasn't around"

That's my parents. I don't remember ever seeing them have any major arguments or anything. It was all going on behind the scenes--my mom left out of the blue; divorced was finalized a little after the 25 year mark.


I loathe my daughter's mother, for a variety of good reasons...but as long as she's a net benefit to my daughter, I would never do anything to impede their relationship.

6/22/2010 10:51:37 AM

If my parents hadn't have gotten divorced I would have never met my awesome (3rd) step-dad and my (5th) step-mom and her fail sons. Also, I would have never gotten to celebrate 5 Thanksgivings and Christmases last year nor would I have gotten to travel so much since my mom married two military guys in a row.

I don't think I am ever getting married.

6/22/2010 11:36:08 AM

My parents got divorced.
Then my mom and step-dad (Dad to me) divorced.
Now my mom and I are estranged.
The only real parent I have left isn't even a biological one.
Life is funny.
And sad.

6/22/2010 11:55:05 AM

Quote :

"Divorced parents seem to bring maximum drama."

wrong. i think parents staying together just for the kids brings the maximum drama.

my parents are divorced, have been since i was 11, and it's been pretty drama-free....

6/22/2010 11:57:37 AM

Quote :

"Quote : "My friend's parents were also like this. Then one day they upped and got divorced out of the blue. Turns out they were just doing all the fighting when he wasn't around" That's my parents. I don't remember ever seeing them have any major arguments or anything. It was all going on behind the scenes--my mom left out of the blue; divorced was finalized a little after the 25 year mark."

This. Except my parents got divorced after 36 years. Never saw them fight.

6/22/2010 12:15:11 PM