Oh how the king has fallen. All of Ohio is on suicide watch right now

7/9/2010 8:41:43 AM

We Are All NotCaring

7/9/2010 8:43:47 AM

The fact that you posted shows me you care

7/9/2010 8:45:45 AM

7/9/2010 8:46:33 AM

Ohio fucking sucks. If you've ever been there, you know that.

7/9/2010 8:47:02 AM

It's just silly to think he would have stayed in Cleveland

Now going to Miami- that was not quite what I expected... That is going to be a naaaasty team now

7/9/2010 8:51:01 AM

^^if YOU'VE ever been there you know that is not the case

^Silly yes. But it was his hometown, and the fans would have sold their souls to have him stay. The thing about cleveland dynamics, is they are incredibly loyal. I would be hard pressed to find fans that would stick around the same teams that were crap for years on end

[Edited on July 9, 2010 at 8:54 AM. Reason : caret]

7/9/2010 8:51:23 AM

weird double post

[Edited on July 9, 2010 at 8:57 AM. Reason : stupid iphone]

7/9/2010 8:51:45 AM

NO, screw you thegoodoctor!!1

7/9/2010 8:53:35 AM

I've been to Ohio plenty of times. It is literally the ass crack of America.

7/9/2010 8:54:13 AM

Screw you Vietnam LBJ.

^ you must have not been to the right parts

7/9/2010 8:55:34 AM

i thought every state had its asscrack parts

7/9/2010 8:56:24 AM

i, too, have been to lots of parts of ohio

i, too, thought it was completely awful

and every girl is built like a linebacker

7/9/2010 8:56:42 AM

Quote :

"Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight; As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier. This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment. Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us. The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you. There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you. You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal. You have given so much and deserve so much more. In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight: "I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE" You can take it to the bank. If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels. Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there. Sorry, but that's simply not how it works. This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become. But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio. The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma. Just watch. Sleep well, Cleveland. Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day.... I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only: DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue.... Dan Gilbert Majority Owner Cleveland Cavaliers "

BITTERNESS ITT

7/9/2010 9:02:24 AM

haha. butthurt fans. bunch a pussies

7/9/2010 9:03:44 AM

all the cavs fans are like hell yeah!

everyone else in the nation is like

7/9/2010 9:04:14 AM

Quote :

"and every girl is built like a linebacker"

you're right. WE ARE ALL LINEBACKERS!

Quote :

"i thought every state had its asscrack parts"

Every state does have asscrack parts. Paging central NC.

[Edited on July 9, 2010 at 9:05 AM. Reason : .]

[Edited on July 9, 2010 at 9:05 AM. Reason : .]

7/9/2010 9:04:19 AM

7/9/2010 9:04:52 AM

thegoodoctor freeddemtitties

7/9/2010 9:06:23 AM

Quote :

"NOR NEVER "

7/9/2010 9:07:37 AM

They can only be controlled for so long.

7/9/2010 9:07:55 AM

yo thegoodoctor....




lemme run a play in your backfield

7/9/2010 9:08:30 AM

i cant wait for the first game the Heat play in Cleveland

7/9/2010 9:16:30 AM

7/9/2010 9:22:13 AM

surprise? the cavs never wanted to spend enough to get him really quality teammates you act surprised by this....

there are reasons why teams like cleveland, New Orleans, Minnesota, Memphis, Toronto, Utah, Phoenix Suns, Los Angeles Clippers, Denver, Indiana, New Jersey, and Orlando have either never even BEEN to a finals series or ever WON a single one.

they are either small time markets, the owner sucks, or they are the second fiddle team in their city/area.

7/9/2010 9:22:21 AM

you're out of your element, donnie

7/9/2010 9:24:02 AM

Bigger cocksucker: LeBron or Dan Gilbert? Tough call, but they both deserved each other.

Quote :

"Tomorrow is the day LeBron James becomes the most unlikable person in the NBA, and perhaps all of American sports. I used to think he was okay a year ago. No more. He's the villain now. It doesn't matter where he opts to go. If he goes to Chicago, he's a cocksucker. If he goes to Miami, he's a cocksucker. Even if he goes back to Cleveland, he's a goddamn cocksucker. He's a self-aggrandizing sack of shit, and ESPN is a bunch of pussy-whipped enablers for giving him a free hour of airtime tomorrow night and inevitably using 55 minutes of it to let Stu Scott give him a rimjob. Look at what Kevin Durant did today. He signed an extension well before he could have filed for free agency, announced the signing, and then went back about his business. He didn't need all this dog-and-pony show bullshit. James does, and that means he's a dipshit. People have been kissing this man's ass SINCE FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL, and he still needs this hourlong AFI tribute special? Bullshit. BULLSHIT. And I don't care that he asked ESPN to use the commercial airtime tomorrow night to go to charity. That's the most transparent use of charity for the sake of self-glorification I've seen since I saw some actor do it yesterday. "Hey ESPN, why don't you spend an hour kissing my ass? Oh, don't worry. We'll give the money to AIDS babies. That totally makes me selfless." No, it doesn't. And FUCK YOU to ESPN for going along with this "Bonds on Bonds" redux. If an ESPN reporter found concrete proof tomorrow morning that James was going to Cleveland or somewhere else, do you think ESPN would let him run with it? FUCK AND NO. They'd stick him in a fucking Lucite box and throw him in the cellar until 10PM. They're the whoringest whores that have ever whored. I heard they offered LeBron's crew free blowjobs if he wins a title next year. Wilbon asked to blow him JUST A LITTLE BIT. Not much. Just a little bit. LeBron is now the guy you openly root against. If he leaves Cleveland tomorrow night, he'll have needlessly strung along an entire fanbase and given them the middle finger by making their breakup spectacularly public. If he stays, he'll have spent two years cockteasing the rest of the world about going somewhere else when he probably never wanted to leave Ohio to begin with. There's no end result tomorrow that makes LeBron a sympathetic figure. He's already gone past the point of no return. He's a cocksucker. Fitting that his most memorable career moment will come when he doesn't even take a fucking shot. He's a guy that cares more about the end result of playing basketball – massive, unending adulation – than he does actual basketball. I don't begrudge him that attitude. I'd be the same way if I were a basketball player. All I'd give a shit about would be what I make and where I'm drinking tonight. And I don't begrudge him the right to play somewhere other than Cleveland. It's Cleveland. It blows. There's nothing to do in that town except masturbate and cry. But there's a normal way of doing things, and there's the dick way of doing things, and making your own free agency a two-year drama capped off with an infomercial directed by Senor Spielbergo falls squarely in the purview of FLAMING FUCKING DICK MOVES. James is trying to bullshit the world into believing this whole process is some great entertainment he's lavishing upon you. It's not. It's a con. Right now, a lot of people aren't buying the shit this man is selling. And really, that's all LeBron James is these days: a fucking salesman."

[Edited on July 9, 2010 at 9:28 AM. Reason : .]

7/9/2010 9:27:45 AM

Quote :

"surprise? the cavs never wanted to spend enough to get him really quality teammates you act surprised by this.... there are reasons why teams like cleveland, New Orleans, Minnesota, Memphis, Toronto, Utah, Phoenix Suns, Los Angeles Clippers, Denver, Indiana, New Jersey, and Orlando have either never even BEEN to a finals series or ever WON a single one. they are either small time markets, the owner sucks, or they are the second fiddle team in their city/area."

.......

7/9/2010 9:31:46 AM

Quote :

"here are reasons why teams like cleveland, New Orleans, Minnesota, Memphis, Toronto, Utah, Phoenix Suns, Los Angeles Clippers, Denver, Indiana, New Jersey, and Orlando have either never even BEEN to a finals series or ever WON a single one."

Haha...missed this gem.

7/9/2010 9:32:58 AM

that post makes charles barkley's eyes water

7/9/2010 9:33:10 AM

I have a friend who got a job with a large chemical company in Circlesville, Ohio.

She is not pleased.

7/9/2010 9:34:25 AM

Quote :

""there are reasons why teams like cleveland, New Orleans, Minnesota, Memphis, Toronto, Utah, Phoenix Suns, Los Angeles Clippers, Denver, Indiana, New Jersey, and Orlando have either never even BEEN to a finals series or ever WON a single one.""

A.) You're right. Cleveland doesn't have that kind of cash flow. They're currently trying to rebuild the school system. I imagine they have some other things to worry about being the #2 poorest major city in the United States.

B.) Cleveland teams have a history of going big, but never bringing home the titles. Paging 1995 and 1997 World Series, 2007 NBA finals, 2010 NBA heartbreak season.

^Circleville, Ohio ...

[Edited on July 9, 2010 at 9:37 AM. Reason : ^]

7/9/2010 9:36:37 AM

do you mean circleville?

they have a pumpkin festival every year

it's horrible to have to drive an hour to columbus to go to a bar that's not bw3s or "roosters"

although roosters has a 36oz beer special and is next door to the hotel i stay at when i go there for work

so it holds a special place in my heart

7/9/2010 9:37:24 AM

I retract that statement... I have never been to their pumpkin festival and have a soft spot for pumpkin ice cream

7/9/2010 9:38:52 AM

thegoodoctor don't ignore my football-themed propositioning

7/9/2010 9:39:55 AM

i hope some ragtaggy cleveland team wins it next year

7/9/2010 9:40:27 AM

^ me too. me too.

^^ why would you want something that came out of the asscrack kiljadn?

7/9/2010 9:54:01 AM

dont forget that dickfart BlackDog done tainted it

7/9/2010 9:56:57 AM

haha don't forget that I fell asleep on BlackDog's couch

[Edited on July 9, 2010 at 10:02 AM. Reason : .]

7/9/2010 10:01:56 AM

maybe he drugged you.

he has lots of those drugs.

7/9/2010 10:08:59 AM

because I'm good at polishing turds girl. what am I supposed to say to that that isnt offensive?

7/9/2010 10:10:09 AM

hahaha I don't know but that was a good try

^^ that he does. But I think he'd rather use them on himself than on the wimmins

7/9/2010 10:14:22 AM

anyway, when you gonna let me celebrate in your end zone?

7/9/2010 10:20:31 AM

lakers 4-2 heat

mark it down

7/9/2010 10:21:27 AM

maybe when you stop insulting the rustbelt

7/9/2010 10:34:51 AM

Ohio's a great place to take a shit.


How's that?

7/9/2010 10:51:21 AM

7/9/2010 11:00:08 AM

Ohio is in the bottom 5 of states in this country

South Carolina is also down there

7/9/2010 11:01:27 AM

Dear kiljadn,

Off my shit

Thx,
EMCE

7/9/2010 11:02:32 AM

^^

^

7/9/2010 11:05:32 AM