http://www.wcbs880.com/pages/7706221.php

Quote :

"Dick Cheney Without a Pulse, Must Be Plugged In NEW YORK (WCBS 880) -- Former Vice President Dick Cheney now has no pulse and needs to be plugged in at night. Cheney had a ventricular assist device connected to his heart last week at Inova Fairfax Heart and Vascular Institute in Washington's Northern Virginia suburbs. Dr. Allen Stewart, head of aortic surgery at New York Presbyterian Hospital, told MSNBC's Rachel Maddow that Cheney now has no pulse. His heart valves are still closed and the device is now providing a continuous flow of blood. Even more fascinating is that the device runs on batteries and Cheney is supposed to carry extras with him, and, at night, it has to be plugged into a power adapter in the wall. Cheney is fully conscious and hopes to resume his active lifestyle. He has suffered five heart attacks since age 37. "

And there's a Rachael Maddow video too.

To those who said that Dick Cheney has no heart, touche!

7/16/2010 5:36:00 PM

HOLY FUCK!

7/16/2010 5:37:08 PM

who has a heart attack at 37?

7/16/2010 5:37:28 PM

It was his heart trying to reject him.

7/16/2010 5:38:05 PM

does that officially make him a zombie?

[Edited on July 16, 2010 at 5:38 PM. Reason : ^ LOL]

7/16/2010 5:38:44 PM

We should go Left 4 Dead on his ass.

7/16/2010 5:44:23 PM

So what is the legality of finishing off a Zombie?

Would we be arrested for that?

7/16/2010 5:45:51 PM

Can't murder something that was previously dead, can you?

7/16/2010 5:49:31 PM

you people are sick. dick cheney is a great man zombie.

7/16/2010 5:52:18 PM

Quote :

"Dick Cheney, without a pulse!"

Just the way I like him!

7/16/2010 5:53:00 PM

LEAVE DICK CHENEY ALONE!!!!!!!

Consequences will never be the same!!!!!!!

7/16/2010 5:53:52 PM

7/16/2010 6:47:42 PM

You gon get shot in the face.

7/16/2010 6:56:28 PM

^^^Hahaha.

Watch out son or he'll backtrace you hardcore.

7/16/2010 7:00:41 PM

Quote :

"who has a heart attack at 37?"

I'd place my bet on Dick Cheney.

7/16/2010 7:05:43 PM

Holy fuck, the man just won't die

7/16/2010 7:46:41 PM

I'm sure Dick Cheney would be a nice, loving, person, if he was a person...

7/16/2010 7:51:07 PM

Dick Cheney killed the 46th Vice President

7/16/2010 8:01:21 PM

hahahaha..oops

[Edited on July 16, 2010 at 8:03 PM. Reason : read it wrong.]

7/16/2010 8:03:06 PM

That's gotta feel weird. How common are those devices?

7/16/2010 8:03:19 PM

^ Only for the rich. Don't worry, us po' folk can't be gettin' dem anytime soon!!!

7/16/2010 8:05:01 PM

Quote :

"He has suffered five heart attacks since age 37."

7/16/2010 8:05:09 PM

at this rate, i suspect being hit by a bus won't kill him, either

a real shame, it is

7/16/2010 8:16:03 PM

7/16/2010 8:19:16 PM

^ Where is the fat?

7/16/2010 8:27:24 PM

IN DEMOCRATIC AMERICA, ZOMBIE SHOOT YOU IN FACE

7/16/2010 8:43:27 PM

Holy shit, just how much money does someone need in order to become an actual goddamned cyborg zombie?

7/16/2010 8:56:01 PM

^ $349,999.99

7/16/2010 8:57:55 PM

$halliburton

7/16/2010 8:58:02 PM

^^ Srsly?

That's actually a lot lower that I would have expected.

7/16/2010 8:58:36 PM

you can only stop him with an EMP

7/16/2010 8:59:32 PM

^^ That's just for the base. They make their money on the addons!

7/16/2010 9:00:49 PM

Does it include a built in uplink to SkyNet?

7/16/2010 9:01:10 PM

He's more machine now than man. Twisted, and evil

7/16/2010 9:39:36 PM

Quote :

"you can only stop him with an EMP "

would prove quite interesting to see what devices could create enough interference to mess his fake blood pumper up.

7/16/2010 10:33:52 PM

^^^^ Only by ethernet. Wifi isn't included, and 2G is only available right now.

7/16/2010 10:40:29 PM

Dick Cheney is a god damn Lich

7/16/2010 10:50:49 PM

May he live forever and piss off ten more generations of limp wristed college faggots!

7/16/2010 10:57:43 PM

Quote :

"New Heart Device Allows Cheney To Experience Love WASHINGTON, DC—Recovering from minor heart surgery Sunday, Vice President Dick Cheney stunned both the medical and political establishments when he mysteriously began to experience love for the first time in his life, sources reported Tuesday."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-heart-device-allows-cheney-to-experience-love,2294/

7/16/2010 11:02:49 PM

^^ what is your obsession with gay people?

7/16/2010 11:09:24 PM

What's your obsession with BEING gay!!!!

7/16/2010 11:10:31 PM

i like to scrump

7/16/2010 11:12:01 PM

You would.

7/16/2010 11:26:11 PM

back on topic, we need someone arrange a power outage

7/16/2010 11:27:36 PM

I'll buy up all the batteries and cause a shortage.

7/16/2010 11:28:09 PM

E.M.P FTL Cheney

7/16/2010 11:28:42 PM

Does the secret service still come after you if you go after an ex vice president?

7/17/2010 12:33:31 AM

No. They help you.

7/17/2010 12:34:58 AM

My heart's fine! It's my brain that's the problem!

7/17/2010 2:56:32 AM

Nah, just his mouth. I am sure he's a smart fellow he just says goofy mess from time to time.

7/17/2010 3:04:19 AM