after a 2.5 year battle with what started as kidney cancer. it was long, drawn out, very painful, and hard to watch. i can't imagine a worse way to go. at all. she was 76 and we were pretty close. she lived about <1mi from my house.

in a way this is a relief. just wanted to get that out.

that's all.

8/22/2010 9:54:43 PM

I'm sorry.

8/22/2010 9:55:19 PM

8/22/2010 9:55:53 PM

Sorry to hear that.

8/22/2010 9:56:19 PM

Also sorry to hear that.

8/22/2010 9:58:31 PM

i went over there to see my mom, uncle, & grandpa. mom let me stay long enough to hug her then shooed me away. she didn't want me to be there when the funeral home came to remove her. she & my uncle said they want to handle this themselves right now.

people deal in different ways i guess. i would have wanted EVERYBODY there, esp w/ her still being in the house.

8/22/2010 9:59:00 PM

You did this thread wrong. You're supposed to title it:

RIP Grandma.


Then post a pic of Betty White or Bob Barker.

8/22/2010 9:59:22 PM

way too much sharing itt

way too many details

sorry for your loss

8/22/2010 10:00:24 PM

8/22/2010 10:00:33 PM

oh i can give you wayyyy too many details about things you'd never want to think about when it comes to something like this, but i'll spare you. it's horrible.

8/22/2010 10:01:53 PM

sorry

8/22/2010 10:02:51 PM

just stop

8/22/2010 10:03:29 PM

thank you for all the condolences. and thank you ncsuapex, that made me laff

8/22/2010 10:03:55 PM

i am so so so sorry. i know how hard it is to watch someone you love succumb to a disease like that

i also just lost my gma in april so i feel your pain

i'm so sorry

8/22/2010 10:08:25 PM

sorry to hear that. chit chat??

8/22/2010 10:08:35 PM

Feel better, man!

8/22/2010 10:11:06 PM

if you ever need to chat via PM or anything don't hesitate. i will listen. and i'm sure many other twwers would, too

------HUG--------

8/22/2010 10:11:10 PM

just a terrible terrible decision to post this in chit chat

you know what's going to happen and when it does it won't be pretty

ugh

8/22/2010 10:11:28 PM

thanks.

i debated cc vs lounge, but thought this would drop quickly so um yeah i dont know.

8/22/2010 10:12:05 PM

maybe they'll leave this one alone

8/22/2010 10:14:06 PM

8/22/2010 10:14:48 PM

CC has seen these types of threads before and people are usually courteous. a few aren't but most threadmakers know that is bound to happen.

one or two bad seeds doesn't negate the kindness of those that actually care and are sorry for your loss.

8/22/2010 10:15:52 PM

eh, i know tww and how it runs everything to shit

8/22/2010 10:16:31 PM

sorry to hear about your grandma

my condolences

8/22/2010 10:17:25 PM

[Edited on August 22, 2010 at 10:17 PM. Reason : f]

8/22/2010 10:17:29 PM

sorry about your grandma se7

that's something i probably won't every really experience. 3 of my grandparents died before i was born or when i was fairly young, and my last remaining grandparent i've seen once (at my wedding) in the last 10-15 years

[Edited on August 22, 2010 at 10:20 PM. Reason : cleaned up some of the chit chat comments hope you don't midn]

8/22/2010 10:19:09 PM

now that we're in the lounge...

my greatgrandma (we called her armie), this grandma's mom, died just a few years ago at 93. i had always kinda thought that grandmommy would live to be that old too, but right after armie died it was like gmommy turned into her. she got sick and even started to look like her. i wasn't as close to armie, and didn't have any of the first hand experience in the dying process with her. it's eye opening, and amazing bc you see just how little the body has to work with but still lives. everything we looked up online about the signs of the active dying process and how long those last, all lasted 3-5x longer for her. she didn't deserve any of it. i've never lost anyone this close to me.

[Edited on August 22, 2010 at 10:39 PM. Reason : ^not at all. thanks]

8/22/2010 10:28:17 PM

signs of the active dying process?

8/22/2010 10:32:34 PM

fixed gaze, immobilization, cold feeling starting at toes & fingers, dark mottling of the skin starting at the heels and working up, sudden release of urine/bowels, gurgling/rattling sound from throat, apnea/gasping

8/22/2010 10:35:30 PM

my condolences and sorry for your loss. my grandmother passed away in February and a combination of business travel and poor weather condidtions prevented me from attending her funeral. Although she was a big part of my life as a kid, the last time i saw her was about a year before she died.

8/22/2010 10:37:37 PM

i decided not to go to any of my grandparents funerals. i dont regret not going either.
people grieve in a lot of different ways.
funny thing is i get more upset when animals die then people do...i guess that is why i work with animals though

8/22/2010 10:41:26 PM

8/22/2010 10:42:54 PM

That sucks ass!



Sorry man!!! I feel your pain! My gma is almost on her way out too

8/22/2010 10:51:04 PM

76 is young for a grandparent though

my grandmother that died in april was 92. it was still really sad, though. mostly cause she was my mom's mom who died < 1 year before that.

my other grandmother is 89.

76 is definitely too young.

8/22/2010 10:53:20 PM

i agree. i kinda think that she had not been letting on that something was wrong bc my greatgma was sick & dying. so by the time she admitted something was up, it was a little too late. she had kidney cancer. they removed 1 kidney and were going to remove the tumor around the other, but it was so tightly wound up in the artery there that they couldn't do anything surgical for it. she did 2 rounds of chemo, which kept it in check for a little bit. at her 3rd 3 month post-chemo scan, they saw enlargement of the kidney tumor, some in her lungs, and one regrowing where the other kidney used to be. papa has lung cancer but is doing well w/ treatment.

my other granny is 86, and granddaddy died when i was 3 mo old. he was 60 something (pancreatic cancer).

8/22/2010 11:11:09 PM

yea my mom's dad died when she was 19 so i never knew him. and her mom just died last april.

my dad's mom is 89 and her husband died when i was 7. but now she has this boyfriend (lolz) and they've been "dating" for like over 10 years now and he is like a grandfather to me, which is awesome. but he is 91 and slowing down a lot. sigh.

i kinda understand what you're saying about your grandmother not letting on anything was wrong. i feel like my grandmother was like that too. after my mom died i think my grandmother was just sticking around for all of us because we needed her, but after almost a year i think she just began to let go. i mean the last 10 years of her life were rocky medically. lots and lots of problems. so i think she was just making sure everyone was ok and then she just decided her time was up. which is nice in a way, because it wasn't due to an awful disease - she was just old. seriously it kinda makes me laugh because when my grandmother died in april she called all of her sons to come see her in the nursing home and told them that day was the day she was going to die. and they sat with her until she did. she was always set in her ways i guess!

but 76 is definitely young. it is a little easier to swallow i guess when they are in their 90s because it is more expected, but still hard. and i think watching someone deteriorate from cancer, regardless of age, is hard and awful and pretty much the worst experience of all time.

i am sorry let me know if there is anything i can do for you. you will probably be getting more pie and chicken salad and freaking casseroles than you ever want!!

[Edited on August 22, 2010 at 11:24 PM. Reason : .]

8/22/2010 11:23:25 PM

i don't know how my mom did it. she took care of gmommy everyday for the last 2.5 years. she stayed overnight as she got worse over the last couple of months. she's a nurse, and i assume that's what helped her handle things like changing diapers, baths, suppositories, etc. i feel awful but i just don't think i could do all of that. i might think differently one day but i really hope not have to. i also feel bad for being happy that now i get my mom back. this has taken a big mental & physical toll on her. she needs a break so bad. dad is taking her on a long trip as soon as they get my papa squared away. she'll never be completely done bc papa had a stroke not too long ago, plus his cancer. he's mentally kinda like a 12 year old now. she needs a break

8/22/2010 11:41:13 PM

i'm sorry to hear about your grandma! that must be crazy hard to go through.

8/23/2010 12:46:53 AM

Quote :

"fixed gaze, immobilization, cold feeling starting at toes & fingers, dark mottling of the skin starting at the heels and working up, sudden release of urine/bowels, gurgling/rattling sound from throat, apnea/gasping"

Yeah...pretty much how my grandfather went. If I ever get to the point where they say, "his cancer is uncurable, he has "suchandsuch" time to live", I'm going to try and make someone pull the plug much earlier. Nobody wants to live like that.

Quote :

"76 is young for a grandparent though"

Cut off in my family is early 70s...usually earlier than that. I don't plan on seeing 80.

8/23/2010 8:22:00 AM

I don't really know you, but I am sorry to hear about your loss.

Best wishes.

8/23/2010 8:46:55 AM

My fiance's grandmother died Friday.

Left Ocean Isle for Morganton, NC Saturday night for the funeral yesterday.

8/23/2010 9:01:16 AM

sorry for your loss
76 is way too early for a grandmother to pass

8/23/2010 9:41:19 AM

I offer my condolences, sorry to hear about your loss.

8/23/2010 11:04:01 AM

76 is weak. My great grandma is still kicking at 103. She refuses to die.

8/23/2010 11:26:14 AM

This is not shit chat fyi

8/23/2010 1:10:22 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. Only one of my grandparents made it to their 80's, and just barely--my maternal grandmother died at 58 and my paternal grandfather at 62, so for my family 76 would be about par for the course if not better. Three of them were when I was relatively young but my Mom's father, who I was closest to of any of my grandparents, lost a prolonged battle with Alzheimer's at 77 in 2001. So I know it's hard to see someone you love go in a drawn-out process--it really does suck. My condolences.

8/23/2010 4:51:29 PM

sorry about your loss

i know what you mean about relief, though

this probably doesn't help very much right now, but there are things worse than death

8/23/2010 5:23:04 PM

Sorry

I think all my grandparents died in their 70's, save for my step-grandma. Fortunately my parents are healthier

8/23/2010 6:16:11 PM

here is a hug. I have been having a hard time wanting to post in this thread because my grandmother just had a kidney removed because of cancer and then so many complications because of it.

Here is another hug.

8/23/2010 7:16:00 PM

thanks. i really hope your grandmother does better than mine.

8/23/2010 7:30:37 PM