My friend brought up that you can basically troll anyone with this simple statement and it's effective 90% of the time. I didn't believe him until I tried it out.

Also, Miracle Whip is the spawn of Satan and is the very bane of existence.

And Duke's is the only mayo.

Peace out.

9/24/2010 4:39:08 PM

i didn't know miracle whip was a salad dressing til recently. that sounds gross.

9/24/2010 4:40:22 PM

.
.
.
oh.

you are correct.

carry on.

9/24/2010 4:40:29 PM

my mom hates mayo and loves miracle whip.

it drives me nuts.

and then i realize it shouldn't and then THAT drives me nuts.



MAYO all the way homies

9/24/2010 4:42:41 PM

Miracle whip

9/24/2010 4:45:49 PM

miracle whip is fucking gross.

9/24/2010 4:46:37 PM

I don't think they mean "salad dressing" as in lettuce. Moar like tuna, potato, or chicken salad.

9/24/2010 4:47:44 PM

My mom dresses her salads with regular mayo. Yay Atkins

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 4:48 PM. Reason : lettuce salads]

9/24/2010 4:48:35 PM

Quote :

"And Duke's is the only mayo."

While I agree that Duke's is awesome, Hellman"s is also an acceptable alternative


Also:





[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 4:57 PM. Reason : salad cream]

9/24/2010 4:56:00 PM

Quote :

"My mom dresses her salads with regular mayo. "

9/24/2010 4:59:47 PM

Quote :

"My mom dresses her salads with regular mayo."

do you mean like side salad type salads?

or pasta salads?


b/c i totally use regular mayo for pasta salads!

9/24/2010 5:01:31 PM

Lol, I was almost trolled into making a snide comment!

However, I believe the Duke's comment to be a troll, unless you're from the South. In which case I will just take it as an ill informed remark.

9/24/2010 5:03:47 PM

^^ note the edit

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 5:04 PM. Reason : it's gross]

9/24/2010 5:03:55 PM

That is

9/24/2010 5:08:08 PM

I use smart balance mayo because I'm a pansy man.

9/24/2010 5:08:53 PM

^^^ahhh i didnt realize that

yes indeed

9/24/2010 5:09:35 PM

I have a mayo better than miracle whip.



Bet me.

9/24/2010 5:12:46 PM

lafta will bet with you

Quote :

"double troll bet"

9/24/2010 5:14:10 PM

Mayo on a salad of any type?

9/24/2010 5:21:04 PM

Mayo is fucking nasty in every context. I've never had Miracle Whip, but it's probably even nastier.


At first I was getting miracle whip confused with reddi-whip, and thinking that the whole troll was the fact that people would be baffled at your comparison of whip cream and mayo (their sole similarities being that they are creamy white food toppings). But no. It's just a troll on people who hate artificial shitty toppings. I'm actually surprised you haven't run into more people who just completely hate mayo, being that it tastes and everything.

9/24/2010 5:27:43 PM

whip cream sounds dirty

9/24/2010 5:29:28 PM

Quote :

"And Duke's is the only mayo."

tru dat

and i disagree that mayo is disgusting in every context. you can put it in a lot of things and not even know it is there. dip? dressing? chicken salad? and it can even go in cakes to make them moist. although you can also sub sour cream for some of this stuff (i tend to make dips with sour cream)

but on burgers, hot dogs, sandwiches, etc...no mayo please. reminds me of a creamy vagina.

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 5:34 PM. Reason : .]

9/24/2010 5:31:53 PM

Quote :

"but on burgers, hot dogs, sandwiches, etc...no mayo please."

incorrect across the board.

mayo is infinitely better than ketchup on burgers. mayo is good on hot dogs. and if you don't put mayo on a turkey sandwich you need to drive your ass back up north.

9/24/2010 5:35:20 PM

Quote :

"Mayo is fucking nasty in every context. I've never had Miracle Whip, but it's probably even nastier."

9/24/2010 5:37:04 PM

lol i HATE mayo on turkey sandwiches and i can assure you i'm southern! i'd rather put dressing (balsamic or something), hummus, or if it is thanksgiving turkey, then gravy and cranberry sauce.

and burgers i usually put either a) nothing because they are cooked right and don't need sauces or b) a1/heinz

only c) RARELY ketchup and mustard. and i <3 mustard more so sometimes mustard is just ok for me

but for salads, slaws, etc you kinda need mayo. unless you don't eat chicken salad which is tres sad. and egg salad is like my fav thing ever so, MMMM EGGS AND MAYO.

P.S. the 100% no mayo people - do you eat caesar, ranch or any other creamy dressing or dip? chicken salad? macaroni salad? potato salad? slaw?

and miracle whip is an abomination. i will ONLY buy duke's mayo. that is how my mama raised me

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 5:40 PM. Reason : .]

9/24/2010 5:38:51 PM

I eat mayo by the spoonful.

9/24/2010 5:39:04 PM

Quote :

"nd i disagree that mayo is disgusting in every context. you can put it in a lot of things and not even know it is there. dip? dressing? chicken salad? and it can even go in cakes to make them moist. although you can also sub sour cream for some of this stuff (i tend to make dips with sour cream)"

eh, true, I suppose it works as one ingredient out of many, where you can't actually taste it. That didn't even cross my mind -- the most complex cooking I do in life is putting frozen pizzas in the oven and setting a timer. (Mixing ingredients or any sort of non-microwave food preparation counts as "cooking" in my mind, because cooking is a thing that I do not do)


Anyway, when I said that, I was more or less thinking "plain mayo is nasty regardless of the food you try to put it on"

Quote :

"P.S. the 100% no mayo people - do you eat caesar, ranch or any other creamy dressing or dip? chicken salad? macaroni salad? potato salad? slaw?"

I just don't eat salad in the first place. I generally don't eat green vegetables at all, as I don't think they taste good. Even if it is possible to acquire a taste for that sort of thing, I see no reason to eat copious amounts of things that I dislike just for the sake of acquiring said taste. I also hate ranch, a lot, but this may just be from the people I knew back in middle and high school who would bathe every food they ate in ranch (ranch-soaked cafeteria pizza? how could I not be disgusted by the stuff forever after witnessing that?).

I do like the taste of Catalina dressing, though. It's just too bad I never really have any reason to buy or use it, since I don't eat salad.

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 5:51 PM. Reason : .]

9/24/2010 5:41:13 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubV3t9_CwDc

9/24/2010 5:42:31 PM

^^ O I C

i kinda agree there. but if it comes on a sandwich i'm not gonna not eat it. it really grosses me out on burgers though. but if it is accidentally on a sandwich i'll prob wipe most of it off and then just eat it anyway. my bf will send the sandwich back.

but i'm a piggy so, i eat it

9/24/2010 5:44:32 PM

i once dated a guy who hated mayo

and mustard

and ketchup

and all vegetables except for potatoes.

i once referred to his shirt as "mustard yellow" and he gagged.

no shit. true story.

9/24/2010 5:46:26 PM

Quote :

"i kinda agree there. but if it comes on a sandwich i'm not gonna not eat it. it really grosses me out on burgers though. but if it is accidentally on a sandwich i'll prob wipe most of it off and then just eat it anyway. my bf will send the sandwich back."

I slather mayo on sub sandwiches.

Pretty much any variant of sandwich.

I go through whole jars just for sandwiches.

I also dip fries in mayo, but that's because I spent a lot of time with Dutch relatives.

9/24/2010 5:52:15 PM

Hellman's Mayo is where its at. Get your new york shit out of here

9/24/2010 5:52:53 PM

i, too, am dutch (my dad is 100% )

9/24/2010 5:53:14 PM

I love miracle whip. My dad always has preferred it over mayo, so that's what I grew up with.

9/24/2010 5:53:57 PM

Quote :

"Hellman's Mayo is where its at. Get your new york shit out of here"

check again brotha.

its DUKES DUKES DUKES. a true southerner uses dukes

9/24/2010 5:55:09 PM

a true southerner puts mayo on sandwiches and burgers!

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 5:57 PM. Reason : o]

9/24/2010 5:56:37 PM

don't get me wrong, I love mayo on LOTS of things... but miracle whip has its place.

For example, bananas and mayo... not quite as good as bananas and miracle whip.

9/24/2010 5:57:16 PM

i hate mayo and all its other trendy squeeze bottle derivatives.

9/24/2010 5:58:32 PM

^^That's awful and I've never heard of it.

^Squeeze bottles are awful and I don't know why.

9/24/2010 6:02:16 PM

^^i'm shocked

oh wait a second, no i'm not.

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 6:02 PM. Reason : .]

9/24/2010 6:02:19 PM

Quote :

"P.S. the 100% no mayo people - do you eat caesar, ranch or any other creamy dressing or dip? chicken salad? macaroni salad? potato salad? slaw?"

The only time I use Mayo is for tuna sandwiches, and even then, I use as little as possible. But I haven't had a tuna sandwich in about a year or so.

I do not use caesar, ranch or any creamy or non creamy dressing. I think lettuce is pointless. The good vegetables, like cucumber, tomatoes, olives, ect, are great by themselves or dipped into hummus. The only purpose of a salad is to use it as a carrier of salad dressing to your mouth, and by the time you add enough salad dressing to a salad you have defeated the purpose of eating a salad. This is why you see fat people eating salads and never losing weight, but how often do you see fat people just eating vegetables with hummus or something?

I do not like chicken salad, or macaroni salad (I would rather eat macaroni and cheese or REAL FUCKING CHICKEN) or potato salad (what is the point of potato and mayo? Why not cut the potatoes into strips and fry them?).

Quote :

"I also hate ranch, a lot, but this may just be from the people I knew back in middle and high school who would bathe every food they ate in ranch"

This. I never witnessed this until I came to the south. I wanted to start throwing up immediately when I saw this. I never understood the point of the tubs of ranch dressing when they never served salads until I saw this disgusting phenomenon.

9/24/2010 6:05:51 PM

i'm not into ranch dressing either. i just asked because tons of people love ranch and then claim to hate mayo (we are in the south lol)

i also don't like macaroni or potato salad.

i do however like chicken salad, egg salad, slaw, and Caesar and bleu cheese dressing

but i never bathe my salads in salad dressing. gross. and i like lettuce. not iceburg. that is only good for lettuce wraps.

true story: last time i was at kanki, this lady got like 900 extra sides of ranch dressing AND 900 extra sides of the white sauce. i wanted to vomit. she could barely fit at her end of the table. it was disgusting. her salad was like ranch soup with 2 pieces of lettuce. and she dumped the white sauce on her plate like 2834029378 times. it was just a sea of white sauce. i wanted to cry/die.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHO DOESNT LIKE THE GINGER DRESSING THERE? seriously. some people.


[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 6:10 PM. Reason : .]

9/24/2010 6:09:08 PM

^ & ^^heheh weird. i freaking LOVEEE ranch on most things.

however if i eat a salad-i eat it with just vinegar.



[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 6:10 PM. Reason : i guess it isn't weird b/c you know why- PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT (OMG NO WAY) ]

9/24/2010 6:09:08 PM

i like ranch, and i know a lot of southerners who do as well, but in my experience, the midwest folks use far more ranch than people of the south.

9/24/2010 6:10:13 PM

mayo is gross
miracle whip is delicious

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 6:12 PM. Reason : 25 years in raleigh]

9/24/2010 6:10:43 PM

by the way





egg salad is the most vile thing on this earth ftr

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 6:13 PM. Reason : damn you wine]

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 6:13 PM. Reason : it smells like farts]

9/24/2010 6:11:42 PM

lol noooooooo

i LOVE egg salad. eggs and mayo and maybe some chopped up pickle or celery. omnomnom haha.

FUUUU ranch lover

eric HATES egg salad and gags whenever i eat it. actually my entire family does. my mom and i were the only ones that liked it. my dad and brother just would tell us to stop making the fridge smell like farts when we made it. whooops.

EDIT: bahahaha. i typed the farts part before i even saw your edit

[Edited on September 24, 2010 at 6:14 PM. Reason : .]

9/24/2010 6:13:59 PM

Quote :

"the midwest folks use far more ranch than people of the south."

I now know where I will not go.

I have seen too much Ranch that people drank.

It makes me want to cry and when I see it, I want to die.

Fuck you jerks your habits don't work.

9/24/2010 6:15:10 PM

ahahahahaha on the farts

im srsly laughing my ass off over here


but to make it even- i like pork rinds-which smell HORRIBLE

9/24/2010 6:15:22 PM

omg pork rinds are one of those foods i always wanted to like but could never get over the smell.

yet i eat things that smell like farts

wtf is wrong with me hahahaha.

9/24/2010 6:16:49 PM