My fiancée and I have split up today. We were together 15 months and 3 days.

I am sad, this is a shitty situation.

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11/10/2010 2:49:27 PM

That sucks...sorry to hear it...assuming the 15 mo time period was the entire relationship, how long had you been engaged?

11/10/2010 2:51:35 PM

I've been there. Might have even had more time in than you did.

It's not much of a condolence, but if you were destined to split up at least you split up before getting married.



[Edited on November 10, 2010 at 3:02 PM. Reason : -]

11/10/2010 2:51:37 PM

maybe it's not for good?

11/10/2010 2:51:39 PM

That sucks. Choose better next time.

11/10/2010 2:52:55 PM

it aint no fun if the homies can have some?

11/10/2010 3:03:10 PM

sorry to hear that :/

11/10/2010 3:05:55 PM

sonofabitch. Dude, you alright?

11/10/2010 3:16:33 PM

I think I'll be heading down in the same boat too. I hope you're able to put the pieces of your life back together without too much damage. Good luck.

[Edited on November 10, 2010 at 3:23 PM. Reason : ]

11/10/2010 3:18:04 PM

Quote :

"That sucks...sorry to hear it...assuming the 15 mo time period was the entire relationship, how long had you been engaged?"

I am also curious about this.

11/10/2010 3:26:21 PM

That sucks, sorry to hear about it.

As jbtilley said, though, better that you figured out things are going wrong before the wedding rather than after.

11/10/2010 3:35:44 PM

That sucks

I hope that you didn't have deposits on the wedding.

11/10/2010 3:37:40 PM

dang, that sucks man

stay up, playa

11/10/2010 3:46:33 PM

I'm sorry to hear this. My condolences. Hang in there buddy, things will get better.

11/10/2010 3:50:14 PM

yeah we had deposits on the wedding (but it was her dad's money, so that's a win for me there).

We've been engaged since Feb. (kind of a quick thing).

Its been going downhill since June/July, but we've been trying to right the boat (so to speak).


I do agree, its better to find out now than after a wedding, because at least now she isn't getting half my stuff and dollar bucks. Still a bit of a suck factor though.

Quote :

" sonofabitch. Dude, you alright? "

Yeah, might need a beer or two this weekend. She moves out this weekend.

11/10/2010 3:57:50 PM

was it living together that did it in?

11/10/2010 3:58:40 PM

Interested in the details on why it happened. Was it mutual?

11/10/2010 4:13:40 PM

11/10/2010 4:17:57 PM

At least you might be able to sell the engagement ring and get some money?

11/10/2010 4:25:54 PM

sucks dude.

11/10/2010 4:34:43 PM

do we need to make you a "movin on" playlist?

11/10/2010 4:35:44 PM

15 months?

11/10/2010 4:36:44 PM

just put "relient k - pressing on" and jam out. you'll be fine.

11/10/2010 4:41:19 PM

That sucks dude... theres more out there though

Neeeext!

11/10/2010 5:01:26 PM

Devin the Dude - Just Because

11/10/2010 5:03:11 PM

trust me. this will be the best medicine you can find:

11/10/2010 5:08:59 PM

to answer:

Quote :

"was it living together that did it in?"

Quote :

"Interested in the details on why it happened. Was it mutual?"

No, it wasn't solely living together that did it in, in fact I grew a lot and learned a lot about being an equal in the relationship in all things related to the house living with her. (first time living with a significant other).

We did argue a lot about domestic items (dishwasher, why are we always out of TP, etc), but that was small potatoes.

The big issue here was that I made a mistake by not being very open with my feelings/life events/my past in the beginning of the relationship (never was really that kind of guy), and she was not able to get over that and move on. We had spent some time apart, and then decided to come back together and function as a singular unit, however, she was unable to forget my previous mistakes, and unable to just let some things go.

Eventually it was more of just hanging on, both of us waiting for one or the other to initiate the breakup.

It was a mutual decision to end things. I asked if she could get over me not being a very open person in the beginning, and she wasn't.

I'm normally a reclusive type of person, and like to keep things to myself. However, this trait has caused my past 2 relationships to fail. That is a pattern, and that pattern must be changed. What I have learned from this is that my old way of doing things isn't necessarily the best way. Being this open about this sort of thing on TWW is a part of said change.

11/10/2010 7:52:34 PM

sorry for your situation, but it sounds like it was for the better in the long run.

I feel you on the being too reclusive thing, I'm that way to a fault. I'm not sure how to change it, though. Good luck with everything.

[Edited on November 10, 2010 at 8:17 PM. Reason : .]

11/10/2010 8:17:41 PM

best of luck to you...dont second guess yourself. Learn from it and move on. It can get harder if you dwell on the mistakes.

11/10/2010 9:38:33 PM

Quote :

"she was unable to forget my previous mistakes"

like what?

11/10/2010 9:48:59 PM

the whole reclusive thing and not being very communicative.



as far as how to fix it? it starts with being more communicative with my friends and family, and that should make me more comfortable doing that, to the point where I can do it in a relationship and not cause such issues again.


I did manage to get the engagement ring back, and she's moving out sunday which means I'm keeping the townhouse, which rocks b/c I love this place.

It is better in the long run. I've learned some things regarding relationships with other people that I will apply in the present and future.

11/10/2010 9:57:23 PM

sucks, sorry for your loss

[Edited on November 10, 2010 at 10:22 PM. Reason : .]

11/10/2010 10:16:15 PM

eh, me and my ex were together for six years, were engaged, and then broke up. shit happens.

if it makes you feel any better, we're both just fine and happy and remain good friends. If its the right decision, its the right decision. forcing the wrong decision would be much much worse.

11/10/2010 10:24:58 PM

Ain't nothing but a thing man. Take care of yourself, stay busy and get out and about at least once a week.

11/10/2010 10:36:15 PM

Quote :

"The big issue here was that I made a mistake by not being very open with my feelings/life events/my past in the beginning of the relationship (never was really that kind of guy)"

just don't be too open about your feelings or else you'll sound so sensitive your next gf might suspect you're in the closet

11/10/2010 10:37:24 PM

i'm not trying to be mean in saying this, but maybe dating for longer than 15 months next time might be a good idea. that seems quite rushed.

11/10/2010 10:44:58 PM

living with someone is hard nuts. i did it ack

11/10/2010 10:46:27 PM

Look on the bright side at least you were not married with kids and a mortgage before figuring this out...cut your losses.

This does sound like teh suck but it could be worse. You do not need and attorney to dissolve an engagement.

PS Did you get your ring back? Go pawn that fucker and spend a night out partying.

11/10/2010 10:56:54 PM

Damn, thats rough man.

I know what you mean as far as being reclusive. I'm the same way and it's been rough on things in the past.

11/10/2010 11:08:12 PM

Your situation sounds really similar to mine. Me and the ex weren't engaged, but the length of relationship and cause of breakup were identical. We've been broken up over a month now.

I'm currently in the "maybe we could get back together" stage. But to do so, I'd actually have to open up to her ... which I can't ever seem to do right. This current stage came after the "bang the first random girl you talk to at the bar" stage. That wasn't a pretty.



[Edited on November 10, 2010 at 11:12 PM. Reason : ]

11/10/2010 11:11:17 PM

Sorry about your situation, man.

11/10/2010 11:14:54 PM

Quote :

"The big issue here was that I made a mistake by not being very open with my feelings/life events/my past in the beginning of the relationship (never was really that kind of guy), and she was not able to get over that and move on."

am i the only one that thinks what you did isn't a mistake at all and that she's just crazy?

11/11/2010 4:27:21 AM

When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead. I don't say this to be an ass, but hopefully as motivation for you to help gather yourself together and move on. People will amaze you and just when you think you might not find someone more compatible or cooler, you do. Chin up pal. You've got nothing to lose now and opportunities are plentiful. Embrace your freedom get some good rest, and start fresh tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day filled with opportunities to find the happiness you seek. If I can find it, I sure as hell know you can.

11/11/2010 4:59:47 AM

^^evan tell us all about your many relationships with woman.

11/11/2010 5:44:01 AM

Who goes to The Men's Club?

There is a cocktail waitress who works there that I made out with in grade school. Her name is Christina. She is from Bear, Delaware. Can one of you guys go there and bang her? Take pics and tell me what she tastes like? She tasted like fruit roll ups in 8th grade. I'll give you all the info I can to troll her. She is dumb and kind of a slut. Should b easy good times for anyone who accepts this mission.



This is her...

11/11/2010 6:40:45 AM

Thanks for the supportive messages.

I've decided that I'm going to fill up some time now by doing things that I want to do, I'm going to learn spanish, actually learn to play the guitars I bought, and focus on getting into better shape.

And yes, I did get the ring back, which is awesome because that fucker appraised at about 12G dollar bucks.

We did move kinda fast in the beginning, which is something I'm going to ensure doesn't happen again.

I really am glad we lived together before marriage, otherwise this probably wouldn't have happened until after marriage, which would have increased the nastiness of the situation about 10-fold.

I'm now a firm believer in living together before marriage.

11/11/2010 6:47:41 AM

What were the reasons your relationship fell apart?

11/11/2010 7:16:19 AM

already stated in my previous posts in this thread.


What I'm wondering now is:
What to do with all the pictures of us? (they're in frames everywhere in the house)
What to do with all the pictures of us and our travels on the computer?
How is my dog going to react? Her dog and my dog have a really good time with each other, and if you call one, they both come. I'm sure he's going to miss her dog. I'm also quite sure he's going to miss her.
She's not moving far away (only like a mile or so), what to do when I run into her? Normally I just ignore my ex-girlfriends, should that policy stay the same for an ex-fiancee?

And just things of that nature going through my head.

11/11/2010 7:31:31 AM

Quote :

"What I'm wondering now is: What to do with all the pictures of us? (they're in frames everywhere in the house) What to do with all the pictures of us and our travels on the computer? How is my dog going to react? Her dog and my dog have a really good time with each other, and if you call one, they both come. I'm sure he's going to miss her dog. I'm also quite sure he's going to miss her. She's not moving far away (only like a mile or so), what to do when I run into her? Normally I just ignore my ex-girlfriends, should that policy stay the same for an ex-fiancee? "

Take the frames, leave the pictures.
Delete pictures of the two of you
Dogs will get over it, maybe get him a new playmate from the rescue.
If you see her while you're out and about, don't be a douche-- say hello, how are you doing and keep it short. If she wants to talk more tell her you can't but atleast be polite.

11/11/2010 7:38:32 AM

You shouldn't have to say anything to her when you see her, but you don't have to be an ass. A smile and a nod of acknowledgment should suffice.

11/11/2010 7:41:11 AM