http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/11/22/coontz.marriage.pew/index.html?hpt=C1

So, in this world of dating, marriage, divorce, cheaters, fatties, alimony, and increased sexual deviance....

is marriage really just obsolete?

what say you, tdub?

11/22/2010 7:50:36 PM

COONTZ MARRIAGE PEW

11/22/2010 7:51:45 PM

BAA RAM EWE?

11/22/2010 7:53:52 PM

I step into the great unknown,
and a ball and chain I call my own,
because marriage doesn't work in the world today,
It's an institution that is in decay
and if I have love I wish to portray,
I will surely find another way

11/22/2010 7:54:08 PM

Maybe in NYC and the Left Coast, but I think that in most of the more conservative parts of the country, it is still alive and well. A lot of people fuck up, but I think if anything you are seeing more people wait until they are more prepared to get married. You do not get a lot of the whole marrying straight out of HS and shit like that, although it still happens more than it should. I am personally very happy that I am married and wouldn't want to be anything else.

[Edited on November 22, 2010 at 7:56 PM. Reason : ]

11/22/2010 7:55:51 PM

i feel like i'd only get married when i want to have kids

11/22/2010 10:06:53 PM

you might want to start thinking about it before then :-|

11/22/2010 10:16:01 PM

It's overrated to say the least

11/22/2010 10:24:18 PM

I'mma murry EMCE

We're gonna have a litter of children and then I will aspire to have a motorized scooter so I can take my trips into town to the Wal-Mart, where I will fart in the baby section and scoot over to sporting goods. There I will commence to set up a tent and spend the night. I will do this no less than once a week.

11/22/2010 10:28:42 PM

^how is that different from what you do now?

11/22/2010 10:33:09 PM

its only still relevant because of taxes

otherwise, who gives a fuck?

edit: ok taxes and some other legal shit. but besides that...

[Edited on November 22, 2010 at 10:33 PM. Reason : .]

11/22/2010 10:33:15 PM

I think as people are becoming less religious, then marriages are also decreasing, on the other hand if by chance more people become religious then marriage will increase. Many of the people who are religious and marry, do this thinking they will spend not just the rest of their lives with this special person, but will also be with them in their afterlife.

What better way to spend eternity than with the one you love?

[Edited on November 22, 2010 at 10:34 PM. Reason : d]

11/22/2010 10:33:56 PM

^^^ it's DIFFERENT because EMCE will pick me up at the end of the day and drag me home by the hair. Dur.

[Edited on November 22, 2010 at 10:34 PM. Reason : ^s]

11/22/2010 10:34:06 PM

^^ yea but it is "til death do us part"

and lots of religious people get remarried

sounds like a dramatic afterlife

11/22/2010 10:46:09 PM

There's no indication in the bible that you'll be able to resume Earthly relationships in Heaven, as far as I know. Hell sounds better, anyway. I'm definitely not down to worship God for all eternity.

11/22/2010 10:51:15 PM

Maybe eventually marriage will be obsolete, but we aren't there yet as a society. When you hit 40 and you haven't gotten married, people think something is wrong with you.

11/22/2010 10:51:16 PM

not to mention single people are totally discriminated against

insurance policies, taxes, other shit.

11/22/2010 10:52:14 PM

in society at large, sure, though i think the word obsolete doesn't describe precisely enough how i perceive the role of marriage to be changing. can't quite think of a better word, but it seems a little off

personally, i love being married. i think i'm fortunate to have somebody who feels the same way about commitment and loyalty though, so it works for us. not to suggest that people who aren't married can't or don't also value commitment and loyalty...just seems like a lot of people don't feel comfortable unless they have an out in the relationship - whether it's dating or married. i don't mind not having an out

11/22/2010 10:53:08 PM

Yep. More and more people are saying it than ever: reduce marriage to enforcement of contracts/religious ceremony. No special status necessary.

11/22/2010 10:54:41 PM

There is a safety and confidence in knowing you've agreed to "til death do us part".

And I'm not religious at all. I know I got married for no religious married but also it was more than just the legal benefits.

11/22/2010 10:55:10 PM

Quote :

"i feel like i'd only get married when i want to after i have kids"

11/22/2010 10:56:59 PM

I'm gonna marry a rich broad.

11/22/2010 10:57:53 PM

i think the idea of marriage being obsolete stems from the lack of importance placed on family with the current generation. Gen Yers are all about "me" and the idea of living for anything other than your own whims is just outside of the realm of reality for a significant number of millenials.

TWW is full of people like this. Probably a little higher representation than the overall population.

11/22/2010 11:18:56 PM

Sums me up to a T, sir.

11/22/2010 11:20:18 PM

I can't wait to get married.

11/22/2010 11:51:52 PM

^^^ I do love me.

11/22/2010 11:54:16 PM

I, too, can't wait to get married

11/22/2010 11:56:01 PM

Some people just want to get their genitals wet.

Some of us want someone intelligent to talk to, be intimate with, and ultimately have a life intertwined with. At that point it makes perfect sense to share finances, fears, burdens, etc. The people who get married for anything else are just slack, or they got her preggers early

11/23/2010 12:11:03 AM

ITT: Virgins and the unmarryable

11/23/2010 12:36:37 AM

marriage is obsolete like paper was supposed to be obsolete after the invention of computers

11/23/2010 12:37:44 AM

Quote :

"Some of us want someone intelligent to talk to, be intimate with, and ultimately have a life intertwined with. At that point it makes perfect sense to share finances, fears, burdens, etc."

You can do all of that without be married. In most states, for instance, gay couples are forced to do that without being married.

Just sayin'.

11/23/2010 12:38:28 AM

Do most states still have the "if you live together for ___ years you can file as married" rule?

11/23/2010 12:41:13 AM

There are 11 states that allow common law marriage. All of them have language about "husband and wife" in the statutes.

11/23/2010 12:48:58 AM

I'm on the fence about whether I want a lifelong girlfriend or a wife.

11/23/2010 1:13:13 AM

I don't think marriage is appreciated until after you turn old and ugly.

11/23/2010 1:15:35 AM

twenty-somethings espousing marriage advice ITT

11/23/2010 7:50:36 AM

How will the charming gold digger be able to carve out a lasting existence to supply her/himself when theyre old and wrinkly?

11/23/2010 7:56:32 AM

^
Their [rich] lifelong girlfriend/boyfriend?


This thread may need a clarification of terms.

Are we talking about the legal and usually religious institution know as marriage?
..or are we talking about all forms of relationship commitment?

I mean, you can have someone intelligent to talk to, be intimate with, share finances with, have kids, grow old with etc., and never actually get married....





Also, there's polygamy/polyamory....

[Edited on November 23, 2010 at 8:34 AM. Reason : ]

11/23/2010 8:29:10 AM

I think this thread topic really trivializes the article and ultimately reduces the likelihood someone will read it. I found the article to be very eye opening in general, and that it did not really suggest that marriages are obsolete.

Quote :

"Marriage has become another step, perhaps even the final rather than the first step, in the transition to adulthood -- something many people will not even consider until they are very sure they are capable of taking their relationship to a higher plane."

I would say the transition described above is the most true statement I have heard regarding the marriages of our parents compared to the marriages of college-educated youths today.

11/23/2010 8:47:00 AM

Exactly. Marriage used to be the start of ones independent adult life. Now that people are more selfish like described in BobbyDigital's post, marriage becomes the last culmination in the adult life before retirement come into play. And kids are just an after thought.

This seems to only bode true for the college educated non-religious types.

You could make an argument that marriage is more relevant than ever for non-degree holding religious types of lower class.

11/23/2010 9:52:59 AM

Quote :

"Maybe in NYC and the Left Coast, but I think that in most of the more conservative parts of the country, it is still alive and well."

Considering the more conservative parts of the country have a higher divorce rate, I'm not sure what your point is.

11/23/2010 9:54:07 AM

Id like to get married but the older I get the less likely it seems that its gonna happen or that Im gonna find that right girl. There are pros and cons to being married and being single and they basically even out so if I dont I feel sure I'll be alright.

11/23/2010 10:01:00 AM

You will change your tune when you are shitting in your Depends.

11/23/2010 10:02:12 AM

I'll give it a few more years to find the right one, but after that point, I'm gonna settle and knock her up so I have a kid to take care of me when I'm old.

11/23/2010 10:03:58 AM

ARE WE TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE

OR ARE WE TALKING ABOUT LIFE-LONG RELATIONSHIPS

?


(Why do so many of you act like being married and being single are the only two options here?)

11/23/2010 10:09:57 AM

I feel its highly unlikely I live long enough to be shitting in my depends so I dont really worry too much about that.

11/23/2010 10:15:17 AM

I don't think it's obsolete by a long shot, but I definitely don't think most people go into it really thinking of it as a true union of their lives for better or worse. They go into it naively thinking it'll all be just the "for better," then it actually gets worse and they peace out. I think BobbyDigital was pretty spot on with the "me" mentality thing, because many people don't know how to compromise or not get their way all the time anymore.

Also, it seems like there's a trend toward starter marriages. You have one to learn what not to do, that doesn't last very long and leads you to tell all the people who are still getting married young why they are being naive. I know a lot of people who are like that in their mid-30s now.

Or maybe it's not a trend after all, because my parents both did it too, and I'm sure a lot of boomers did.

11/23/2010 10:43:15 AM

this is the cover story of the current issue of Time magazine (although they take the opposite stance, that it isn't obsolete)

I'd like to get married someday. I don't really expect it to happen, though...there are just very, very few women I'd be interested in that sort of involvement with to begin with, and my track record to date (at age 31) pretty much consists of a bunch of one-night stands and friends with benefits, and a 2-year period of utter misery when I tried to date my daughter's bitch mother.

11/27/2010 12:04:16 AM

Quote :

"Why do so many of you act like being married and being single are the only two options here?"

at least in legal parlance, "single" means "not married"

11/27/2010 3:04:03 AM

11/27/2010 7:28:23 AM